interesting read...
Why DO clever women fall for second-rate men?
- Thread starter GAMETHEORY
- Start date
i thought it was for the same reason you just posted.
many women want to "mold" a man into their image.
can't do it if a man has his head right and shit together.
many women want to "mold" a man into their image.
can't do it if a man has his head right and shit together.
Because them being clever is obviously an illusion.
If you notice women are very choosy and end up making the wrong choice
%75 of the time.
But they usually wind up with someone on their level but just thought they
were taking a step up.
Which can bring disappointment.
Bless their little hearts.
If you notice women are very choosy and end up making the wrong choice
%75 of the time.
But they usually wind up with someone on their level but just thought they
were taking a step up.
Which can bring disappointment.
Bless their little hearts.
Because them being clever is obviously an illusion.
If you notice women are very choosy and end up making the wrong choice
%75 of the time.
But they usually wind up with someone on their level but just thought they
were taking a step up.
Which can bring disappointment.
Bless their little hearts.
I tend to agree with Thick actually.
People tend to attract what they are on a DEEP level they may not even recognize. Also, the tone of the article is a bit elitist and makes some sweeping generalizations. Looks and education aside, a woman is woman and a man a man.Comes back to choices and awareness regardless.
Because them being clever is obviously an illusion.
If you notice women are very choosy and end up making the wrong choice
%75 of the time.
But they usually wind up with someone on their level but just thought they
were taking a step up.
Which can bring disappointment.
Bless their little hearts.
C/S
I agree with Izzy on the point that people, in this case women, attract others who are like them. Most individuals are able to pick up on the "vibes" others project, because of this we find ourselves around those with similar ways and personalities. At some point we've got to conduct self analysis to make sure we're attracting the kind of people we'd like to be surrounded by. If a woman only attracts losers she has to be willing to consider her own role in that situation. She should be ready, willing, and able to make the proper adjustments in order to change the kinds of guys who are drawn to her...
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C/S CT, and I think we can't discount family dynamics also. Regardless of socio economic status we don't know how a woman's or man's family dynamics have created certain expectations of conduct in a mate. A "successful" woman could have had an abusive father and looks for that mirrored in a man. Has little to do with how much money she earns or a degree.In the end as CT says folks need to self examine, rather than play the "woe is me, but I'm so perfect!" song.
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hmmmm interesting commentary but i don't 100% agree...85% maybe but not 100% lol
i was just asking myself a why do i end up messing w/ the dudes i do mess w/ question last nite after realizing something about a dude and cutting ties w/ him.
i am attracted to sarcastic, intelligent, funny guys....and i have a problem w/ weak personalities (yeah i know that's bad).
i was raised to be a strong women but also to be a supporter....i want my man to take the lead (and in other cases think he is taking the lead ...lol j/k)but i think my supportive nature is my downfall. i seem to attract guys in "transition" and i'm not on no captain save a hoe type ish. i'm just cool like that and i don't mind helping ppl out, i'm friendly like that...and as i'm typing i'm noticing feelings usually follow my helping behaviors. i've even altered some of my preferences (dated dudes who weren't in college but working, dudes w/ a kid, and so on) just to switch it up.
long story short...last nite i was told i'm too calm and i should have more of an attitude and that he liked us arguing cuz arguing shows i have a backbone. i was like wait...so u want me to be more of a bitch, would that work for u...he was like honestly yeah. i told him, i have to show my backbone everytime i get dressed and go outside everyday of my life, i'm supposed to be able to chill w/ u. then i told him he was bipolar and was like yeah ur a psycho, nice knowing ya....peacccceeeeeeee
LUCKILY...i notice this crazyness early on before i'm too deep so i can cut ties a lil easier but WTF.
i don't know what the point of me typing this was...but its making me think so that is good...i think it is time for some introspection cuz this is REDIC.
i was just asking myself a why do i end up messing w/ the dudes i do mess w/ question last nite after realizing something about a dude and cutting ties w/ him.
i am attracted to sarcastic, intelligent, funny guys....and i have a problem w/ weak personalities (yeah i know that's bad).
i was raised to be a strong women but also to be a supporter....i want my man to take the lead (and in other cases think he is taking the lead ...lol j/k)but i think my supportive nature is my downfall. i seem to attract guys in "transition" and i'm not on no captain save a hoe type ish. i'm just cool like that and i don't mind helping ppl out, i'm friendly like that...and as i'm typing i'm noticing feelings usually follow my helping behaviors. i've even altered some of my preferences (dated dudes who weren't in college but working, dudes w/ a kid, and so on) just to switch it up.
long story short...last nite i was told i'm too calm and i should have more of an attitude and that he liked us arguing cuz arguing shows i have a backbone. i was like wait...so u want me to be more of a bitch, would that work for u...he was like honestly yeah. i told him, i have to show my backbone everytime i get dressed and go outside everyday of my life, i'm supposed to be able to chill w/ u. then i told him he was bipolar and was like yeah ur a psycho, nice knowing ya....peacccceeeeeeee
LUCKILY...i notice this crazyness early on before i'm too deep so i can cut ties a lil easier but WTF.
i don't know what the point of me typing this was...but its making me think so that is good...i think it is time for some introspection cuz this is REDIC.
oh yeah i've dealt w/ guys that "have had their shit together" and to be honest, (this may just be in my region)...they were assholes
they didn't really like to mess w/ chics on thier levels and were whores.
see they knew they were of high commodity: 1) the hood chics wanted them to get out the hood, 2) the chics who were on their level wanted them b/c of the similarities SOOOOO they used that to their advantage
and i do restrict my dating to black guys only, and most of the black guys at my school used college as the "let me taste the rainbow and tell black girls what they aren't" playground. i'm talkin the most extreme black pride speaking, africana studies major, professors and the like w/ white women and every other type of woman but black on thier arm..let me calm down.
i'm just being honest
yeah...maybe it's time for me to step out of the box
oh yeah Collinize my posts...i don't care....i'm venting and it feels good
they didn't really like to mess w/ chics on thier levels and were whores.
see they knew they were of high commodity: 1) the hood chics wanted them to get out the hood, 2) the chics who were on their level wanted them b/c of the similarities SOOOOO they used that to their advantage
and i do restrict my dating to black guys only, and most of the black guys at my school used college as the "let me taste the rainbow and tell black girls what they aren't" playground. i'm talkin the most extreme black pride speaking, africana studies major, professors and the like w/ white women and every other type of woman but black on thier arm..let me calm down.
i'm just being honest
yeah...maybe it's time for me to step out of the box
oh yeah Collinize my posts...i don't care....i'm venting and it feels good
hey blunt...
and i'm just asking a question because i really don't know the answer (i've heard too many different responses over the years)
are you a:
a. black male
b. white male
c. black woman
d. white woman
and i'm not knocking your statement i agree with it.
and i'm just asking a question because i really don't know the answer (i've heard too many different responses over the years)
are you a:
a. black male
b. white male
c. black woman
d. white woman
and i'm not knocking your statement i agree with it.
I would say in the case of black women (specifically) who are in search of an educated, physical, social, financial and emotionally well rounded black man, it is difficult to create a balance when both woman and man are constantly indirectly looking to make his or her partner seem inferior on either front. This is why they say opposites attract. I myself find it impossible to achive harmony with a woman that is on an equal plane as myself in all of the mentioned fields of compatibility.
So I guess in the case of any woman who encounters this type of dilema, the "second-rate" man will sufice in order to maintain superiority in these.
So I guess in the case of any woman who encounters this type of dilema, the "second-rate" man will sufice in order to maintain superiority in these.
y r u trying to make your partner seem inferior? are you not able to get along w/ a female w/out having an advantage over her?
i'm just askin
well it seemed like this for me in two past relationships. I played both sides of the fence. Superior in the first. Inferior in the second in different aspects of compatibility.
It took over ten years for me to understand what chemistry would land me the right one. I have since found someone who has given our levels of compatibility a see saw effect of level balance if that makes any sense.
Somethings she has me beat in and some are in my favor. But it seems that the specific qualities in her that are important to me are at high levels of perfection. So I know now to accept what you can get at it's best and pay less attention to other lesser priority qualities.
And lucky for me, she has the same ideas.
And she's a black woman, so I guess I win for now.
It took over ten years for me to understand what chemistry would land me the right one. I have since found someone who has given our levels of compatibility a see saw effect of level balance if that makes any sense.
Somethings she has me beat in and some are in my favor. But it seems that the specific qualities in her that are important to me are at high levels of perfection. So I know now to accept what you can get at it's best and pay less attention to other lesser priority qualities.
And lucky for me, she has the same ideas.
And she's a black woman, so I guess I win for now.
i agree w/ the see saw effect...i don't think 50/50 is idealistic
and YAY at her being black
no it's not.
lucky muthafuck. i thought i had met wifey recently but things fizzled out in a hurry. i still am trying to figure out what happened.
How YOU doin'?
My name is LD.
long story short...last nite i was told i'm too calm and i should have more of an attitude and that he liked us arguing cuz arguing shows i have a backbone. i was like wait...so u want me to be more of a bitch, would that work for u...he was like honestly yeah. i told him, i have to show my backbone everytime i get dressed and go outside everyday of my life, i'm supposed to be able to chill w/ u. then i told him he was bipolar and was like yeah ur a psycho, nice knowing ya....peacccceeeeeeee
Drop that fool.
[flash]http://youtube.com/v/6YfX4cdz_Q0[/flash]
damBecause them being clever is obviously an illusion.
If you notice women are very choosy and end up making the wrong choice
%75 of the time.
But they usually wind up with someone on their level but just thought they
were taking a step up.
Which can bring disappointment.
Bless their little hearts.
oh yeah i've dealt w/ guys that "have had their shit together" and to be honest, (this may just be in my region)...they were assholes
they didn't really like to mess w/ chics on thier levels and were whores.
see they knew they were of high commodity: 1) the hood chics wanted them to get out the hood, 2) the chics who were on their level wanted them b/c of the similarities SOOOOO they used that to their advantage
and i do restrict my dating to black guys only, and most of the black guys at my school used college as the "let me taste the rainbow and tell black girls what they aren't" playground. i'm talkin the most extreme black pride speaking, africana studies major, professors and the like w/ white women and every other type of woman but black on thier arm..let me calm down.
i'm just being honest
yeah...maybe it's time for me to step out of the box
oh yeah Collinize my posts...i don't care....i'm venting and it feels good
you seem mad.... i can tell a sister who dated obviously bad dudes and seen women with good black men and is left scratchin there head like "how'd she do that?"....
Men just run through the obviously bad women... RARLEY do you see a man fall for a hood rat/stripper/ female drug dealer....... and when they do they get it worse than women who choose bad guys!
It's hard to love someone who's playing the same game you are and playing it better than you are. It's basic social psychology. A man's earning power and career make up a significant part of his identity. If I'm successful and make decent money, and I come across a girl doing it better than me, I really see no reason to get involved with her romantically. She's doing fine on her own, so fuck it. Hell, I get intimidated by men who make more than me. Why make it worse by bringing women into the picture?
I'm uncomfortable with any relationship where power is disproportionate. For example, a dad who earns alot and a stay at home who earns next to nothing.
I'd rather date a woman who is equal to me in many respects. We're more likey to understand and help each other that way.
Funny how the gold diggin broads I used to date ended up with
babies by loser ass niggas.
Thats what happens when you tryin to be slick
babies by loser ass niggas.
Thats what happens when you tryin to be slick
The only successful relationships I have ever had were with females that were on my "level" or higher.
When I am with a chick that doesn't have as much going for her as I have, in my opinion of course, I can't really get into her. We can chill(fuck) but I would never get serious with them.
When I am with a chick that doesn't have as much going for her as I have, in my opinion of course, I can't really get into her. We can chill(fuck) but I would never get serious with them.
I only had this problem when I was with someone in the same career as me. And don't confuse a woman who is doing well financially with a woman who doesn't need a man. At the end of the day she's still a woman and needs a man--not just another income.
I agree with both of you
I'm tired of trying to figure black men out. Imma just pray God sends me a good man. I thought I had what I wanted but I guess I wasn't what he wanted. I guess now that I think about it we were not equally yoked. He has to many kids and I dont have any and would like to have some one day. In addition, he told me from the beginning he was into ghetto girls, I am the complete opposite. and I never could figure out why he liked me.
Funny how the gold diggin broads I used to date ended up with
babies by loser ass niggas.
Thats what happens when you tryin to be slick
Amen to that i look at em and
I'm tired of trying to figure black men out. Imma just pray God sends me a good man. I thought I had what I wanted but I guess I wasn't what he wanted. I guess now that I think about it we were not equally yoked. He has to many kids and I dont have any and would like to have some one day. In addition, he told me from the beginning he was into ghetto girls, I am the complete opposite. and I never could figure out why he liked me.
truthfully he prolly just wanted to poke ya
We been through to much for it to be just about that. But *shrugs* I am not ruling it out. It's funny cause we both were each others opposites of what we normally like. For once I thought I had a good guy as oppose to the bad boy type...
I am considering going back to that type... at least I know what I am dealing with lolll
You should... You might like it.
As far as your venting, I never understood why women are always worried about who another man is dating. Seems like half of the time, they don't even like the man... They just are interested in him to figure out why he isn't interested in her.
You should... You might like it.
As far as your venting, I never understood why women are always worried about who another man is dating. Seems like half of the time, they don't even like the man... They just are interested in him to figure out why he isn't interested in her.
well for me personally...i wasn't worried about who these guys were dating...i was curious to as how & y a person who preaches up and the down about black pride, black unity, the black family, the beauty in black woman but they have a white chic on thier arm. that's all
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