I started hating church in the '80s. I'm a singer and I've been singing since I was two. If Joe Jackson was my daddy I would have been famous, probably crazy, but famous.
When my parents divorced and my mother took us to a Christian church, cuz we were once Muslims, there was nobody in the church choir younger than 50 and they wouldn't let me join. Beyond that it was boring as hell. Ever since then I couldn't stand church or gospel music.
But since I sing, all my life people keep asking me if I have a church home. When I tell them I don't go to church, they say well you just haven't been to the right church. That's like telling a lesbian she just ain't met the right guy. They ignore my statement and beg me to come to their church.
So one time, a few years ago I capitulated. One woman every time I saw her, which was often, She begged me to come to her church and I finally said okay.
I got to the church early, soon as I walked in the door I tossed my wallet high in the air, almost to the rafters, and when it fell down to Earth, I caught it and opened it. The ushers looked at me questioningly, and one of them asked why I did that.
I told them that I told God that he can take all the money he needed, just leave me the rest when my wallet fell down to earth. When my wallet came down I opened it and none of my money was missing, so I guess God and The Church don't need my money.
I was asked to leave, and never return. I don't fuck with church. It's okay if you go, but I don't
