Who Is The "Nice Guy"?

[MegaArt]

Whether folks like it or not, your first attraction is based on a physical one. Your attracted to their appearance, physique, looks or it's a sexual attraction. You know nothing about that person when you first approach them other than what you see. It isn't until the start of a conversation that you begin to see more about that person.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Whether folks like it or not, your first attraction is based on a physical one. Your attracted to their appearance, physique, looks or it's a sexual attraction. You know nothing about that person when you first approach them other than what you see. It isn't until the start of a conversation that you begin to see more about that person.

Agreed. Somewhat. Let that be the realization then. Let that be the truth then. Don't cover it with anything else. Don't come at me with the friend angle. When the reality is you want to fuck. You're just not confident enough in your other aspects to believe you should be honest.

Most males don't want to actually be with women. They just want to fuck women. And those who do want to be with women, you've got to see why they want to be with women. Some men(very few) actually LIKE women. While most who say they want to be with women, are there for "other" reasons.

 

[geist]

"Nice" is a misnomer. You can be nice and get plenty of ass. Being nice is not synonomous with being an emotional doormat. This title has the game fucked up and makes a lot of dudes think "I'm gonna be an asshole now" and flip it. If you're in your mid twenties and still being called nice you got problems.

A lot of dudes think beings a female's friend is a route to the drawls, and in some cases it is. That's mistake #1. If you're trying to be a female's friend, you can't be mad when you end up in "the friend zone". A lot of dudes listen to stories, and rush over to comfort a chick when their boyfriend mistreats them, just hang out with them, cosign their bullshit, etc. In other words being a girlfriend with a dick. That's not the road you take if you're not really trying to be a female's friend.

I see dudes do it all the time. All up under females, gossiping with them. They almost never get the ass because they're trying too hard.

One thing about women is they know when they are being full of shit. So when they're being full of shit and a dude starts cosigning, they know the dude is being full of shit too. That's not boyfriend material or even fuck material. Sometimes women need a reality check. This is where a "nice" guy fails. It's all about being genuine. A woman should know you're trying to get with her. If she don't want you, move on. That's where a "nice" guy fucks up, he stays. You can luck up in some pussy, but you can't HOPE to luck up in some pussy.

 

[ViCiouS]

Agreed. Somewhat. Let that be the realization then. Let that be the truth then. Don't cover it with anything else. Don't come at me with the friend angle. When the reality is you want to fuck. You're just not confident enough in your other aspects to believe you should be honest.

Most males don't want to actually be with women. They just want to fuck women. And those who do want to be with women, you've got to see why they want to be with women. Some men(very few) actually LIKE women. While most who say they want to be with women, are there for "other" reasons.

the behavior you described in your first post is what I've learned to call cuddle bitches - dudes trying to get pussy by a lazy osmosis of serendipity and proximity... those aren't the nice guys...
Nice guys are usually drama free and "boring" with little game, so they come at a girl head on with sincerity. Nice guys are the one that allow themselves to fall completely for a girl, and usually get used and abused in the process.

Personally speaking there are some women whose company over the years I thoroughly do enjoy, if interests are similar (books, philosophy, cars, anime, whatever) it can go deeper than just a desire for sex... especially if there is chemistry/ compatibility in addition to attraction

 

[Eva Hornae]

Nice and bad is an act. Don't act just be you. That always works best.

Even so, you can still get screwed over, used and abused just by being 'you'. Oftentimes, people mistake a genuine act of kindness for weakness and exploit your vulnerability.

 

[Eva Hornae]

^^^
this here!!! Has been my experience throughout life.
I have a couple of female friends that are just that friends. I'm not gonna lie, at one point I was trying to get into their drawls but was placed in the friend zone. Point being, I noticed most females (not all) always chase these broke, no job having, in and out of jail, thug types and then want to complain to the nice guy or good man about it. They claim they want a good man but that's not what their picking. It's gotten to the point when one of them says your so nice, or that's sweet, I flip the script. Like the poster I quoted said, as soon as you show some kindness the using begins. It's like a domino effect. Nice person (male or female) hooks up with nothing but assholes then they become ass holes after awhile. They eventually meet a nice person and don't know how to treat them, then the cycle repeats itself.

It's no wonder why so some men and women are so depressed, unhappy, emotionally closed off, and just jaded these days. In a situation like this, people are so reluctant to pursue intimate relationships, and if they do, they'll mess up a good thing or expect the other person to mess up.

 

[Eva Hornae]

Interesting topic my question is, do women really want a nice guy anymore? Most will say they do but do they really?

Of course, and I wouldn't have it any other way. An asshole/mean-spirited person rubs me the wrong way, and so I run as far away from them.

 

[Eva Hornae]

Anger is a big problem for many women, and it doesn’t matter how men treat them or what men do for them, they’re still going to be angry.

Throw that fish back in the sea and keep fishing.

I've noticed this phenomenon. Obviously, if a woman has anger issues, it has to stem from somewhere, right?

 

[water]

I've noticed this phenomenon.

Obviously, if a woman has anger issues, it has to stem from somewhere, right?

Yep.

Stems from her reaction to her environment.

See people, both men and women project the cause of their emotions and see other people as the root.

The root of all your emotions is you.

If you love, it is not the result of someone doing something..... it is the result of your perception of the act someone does.

Hence you have hurt people perceiving that someone who is helping them wants something in return.

The act of helping is just that. An act.

How we internalize it depends on if we have been scarred and allow those scars to dictate your response.

In this case the person receiving the act is still the root of the emotion.

If we begin to let go of baggage accumulated through life, it gives us a fresh perspective on situations as they come and gives us an opportunity to see the beauty in everything in life.

Some see the roses while some see the thorns.

Life is not rosy for everyone and everyone can give a reason for their current circumstance.

However everyone also possesses the ability to rise above their circumstance and live through their higher self instead of internalizing life's challenges and cater to our base selves.

Humans have the unique ability to rise to our higher selves, beyond nationality, class, race and gender.

At the end of the day, our spirit cannot be contained in any of those boxes and it is through that we must stive to live through.

The human spirit triumphs adversity.

But only if we see ourselves as the source of our emotions and move pass them into understanding.

Bless.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

the behavior you described in your first post is what I've learned to call cuddle bitches - dudes trying to get pussy by a lazy osmosis of serendipity and proximity... those aren't the nice guys...
Nice guys are usually drama free and "boring" with little game, so they come at a girl head on with sincerity. Nice guys are the one that allow themselves to fall completely for a girl, and usually get used and abused in the process.

Personally speaking there are some women whose company over the years I thoroughly do enjoy, if interests are similar (books, philosophy, cars, anime, whatever) it can go deeper than just a desire for sex... especially if there is chemistry/ compatibility in addition to attraction

lol cuddle bitches? lol. Yeah i hear you. But no i don't believe in the term really. No such thing to me. As for it going deeper agreed. It can. And there are some men out there who are genuinely interested in the person they're with. Who genuinely like the person that happens to be female. Those men are few and too far in between is all.

 

[largebillsonlyplease]

lol cuddle bitches? lol. Yeah i hear you. But no i don't believe in the term really. No such thing to me. As for it going deeper agreed. It can. And there are some men out there who are genuinely interested in the person they're with. Who genuinely like the person that happens to be female. Those men are few and too far in between is all.

cuddle bitches!

 

[Lucky7s]

I was popular and was a world class fucking athlete. Two time national champion and went to the olympic trials.

Who you be dawg?

Yep.

Stems from her reaction to her environment.

See people, both men and women project the cause of their emotions and see other people as the root.

The root of all your emotions is you.

If you love, it is not the result of someone doing something..... it is the result of your perception of the act someone does.

Hence you have hurt people perceiving that someone who is helping them wants something in return.

The act of helping is just that. An act.

How we internalize it depends on if we have been scarred and allow those scars to dictate your response.

In this case the person receiving the act is still the root of the emotion.

If we begin to let go of baggage accumulated through life, it gives us a fresh perspective on situations as they come and gives us an opportunity to see the beauty in everything in life.

Some see the roses while some see the thorns.

Life is not rosy for everyone and everyone can give a reason for their current circumstance.

However everyone also possesses the ability to rise above their circumstance and live through their higher self instead of internalizing life's challenges and cater to our base selves.

Humans have the unique ability to rise to our higher selves, beyond nationality, class, race and gender.

At the end of the day, our spirit cannot be contained in any of those boxes and it is through that we must stive to live through.

The human spirit triumphs adversity.

But only if we see ourselves as the source of our emotions and move pass them into understanding.

Bless.

Profound...

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Who you be dawg?


Profound...

Bullshit. The root is always what's put into you. Very few human beings exist in a vacuum.

 

[(0_0)..l.. finger]

I don't get it. Everybody wants to fuck... So being a Nice guy and wanting to fuck, don't make him a nice guy? Its illogical. I've been both... The asshole and the nice guy... I liked being the nice guy, but the nice guy gets used and fucked over. So, I became an asshole... I got more pussy that way. However, nice guys wants to get to know the woman, love the woman, marry the woman... He really gives a fuck about you... That is the difference... Even though he ultimately wants to fuck, he wants to fuck you and care for you, love you, hold you, and take care of you. Further, you don't have to be unattractive to be the nice guy. I think I am very attractive. I was popular and was a world class fucking athlete. Two time national champion and went to the olympic trials. I guess, what I am trying to say is pick your poison. Do you want someone who is going to care for you, or do you want someone who is going to shit on you? Not to say that some nice guys won't shit on you, but the likelihood of that happening is all so slim. Nice guys are really nice guys because they truly want you... The problem is, woman don't want that... They like the assholes who shit on them. It is just my assessment of my time in the game.

 

[water]

Bullshit. The root is always what's put into you. Very few human beings exist in a vacuum.

That is not your root.

That is your social programming.

It is not the essence of who you are, it's only a reflection.

A reflection made up of your perceived reactions based on the people around you.

When you tell a kid he is smart, he doesn't know for sure but he starts to believe you.

He convinces himself that he is smart.

Later in life, the reality may hit him.

He may come to know that what he believed about himself was a reflection from someone he trusted but it was not his true self.

Those revelations come true the experiences we have.

If we view life's challenges as opportunities to learn about ourself, then we transcend the challenge into understanding of our being.

If we internalize the challenges so that we take it "personally", i.e. a reflection of our worth, then we allow ego to dictate our response and there is no learning.

So at the end of the day....... it doesn't matter what is "put into you".

What matters is what you keep within you.

And that is a testimony to your diligence in preserving the essence of who you are as a spiritual being by transcending your physical and emotion state (both transitions).


Bless.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

False. We're all a summation of the lives we lead. The million things that happen, that we see. That have happened TO us. We don't come out of the womb with knowledge. Emotions develop.

 

[water]

False. We're all a summation of the lives we lead. The million things that happen, that we see. That have happened TO us. We don't come out of the womb with knowledge. Emotions develop.

Maybe you can point out what you think is false.

"million things that happen that we see"?

That is giving power to one mode of transmission of energy.

"happened to us" doesn't matter as much as "how we perceive what happened to us"


Two different perspectives, not necessarily the same.

"Emotions develop" based on social programming i.e. it is not real.

One society may teach to to respond in 1 way while another society teaches you to respond in another way.

Which one is correct?

As I said in an earlier post, what we learn about ourselves is a reflection of people thoughts about us that we have internalized while growing up until we grow into who we really are.

The fact that some people never get to that point of knowing themselves doesn't negate the fact that emotional and physical states are transitional that can take us to our worst selves or to our higher selves.

Some people never make it a priority to ascend to that level of understanding i.e. "heaven".