Where does the SOL Fam stand on...

[SickMyDuck]

...parents giving kids protection/contraception?

Me and my boy were having this convo the other day. His daughter is 13 and quite developed...it's like it happened overnight or it was something she ate. He wants to just lock her up in the attic, but he knows he can't get away with that. lol His wife wants to put her on some birth control or something, but he thinks that's giving her the green light to give it up whenever. And he hates the very thought of her having sex...and I can't say I blame him. These little dudes are gonna be all over her like a pack of wolves.

Now, I'm not too sure how I feel about this. She's like a niece to me, so I care about what happens to her and everything. And I'm dreading the day I'm faced with this dilemma, but I guess I'm leaning towards her mom. The way I see it, (I can really see both sides) these kids are having sex like there's no tomorrow...so it may be a good idea to think about putting her on something. I mean, they can educate her and tell her what not to do all day, but that doesn't work all the time. And as hard as he may try, he can't be with her 24/7. She's a very smart and sweet girl, and she doesn't SEEM to be into that stuff yet...but as slick as these little young cats are, she could get her panties talked off too. We all know how these kids are gettin' down these days.

Have any of you been through this with your sons or daughters? And for those without kids, what do you think you'd do when and if that time comes?

'Preciate the responses.

Because if it were entirely up to my boy, he'd get her one of these and call it a day!!

 

[followup]

My little cousin started asking me about losing my virginity and a whole bunch of other stuff. Her parents are like mine so I knew she wouldn't get the sex talk from them. So I broke it down for her a little bit. I definitely do not recommend birth control for teenagers unless medically needed, but I do suggest a talk about sex and emphasizing that SHE WILL GET PREGNANT if she doesn't use condoms. We can't just ignore it and hopefully if he's raised his daughter right, she will have her priorities straight

 

[Noir]

I definitely agree with Follow-Up. The girl's mother needs to have that deep talk with her daughter about sex, and anything else the girl wants to know. The mother should be honest and talk frankly about the consequences of sex -- STDs in particular along with the risk of pregnancy.

I do not think the girl should be placed on birth control at this time. Hopefully she and her mother will be close enough that the girl could later approach her mother and discuss it when she feels ready to have a mature relationship (College, but we all know kids start way earlier nowadays).

Tell your buddy not to go crazy, buying shotguns and intimidating every boy that comes to date his daughter. The best thing he can do is to educate her as best as possible to make the best decisions for herself, and be supportive.

 

[Shadow]

I'm 3 years from this myself. My daughter turns ten this month, and was happy when she noticed her boobs were getting bigger.

 

[mzmillion]

I don't know how I feel about this entirely. I am about getting her on birth control because I know what it feel like to get pregnant when you don't want to and how scary that shit is for everyone involved. I do also feel like giving her BC is a green light for her though but in the end I'd rather be the parent that was safe than sorry. Give her the deep talk, the STD 'scare' and the condom talk and hopefully it will help her weigh her options and wait awhile. I'm 25 and I can say that kids are much faster now than when I was 13 and it even shocks me so I think if it was my kid, I'd just get the pills now.


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Not you Average Fat Gyrl!!

 

[mzmillion]

I'm 3 years from this myself. My daughter turns ten this month, and was happy when she noticed her boobs were getting bigger.

My sister's oldest is 12 and got her period a couple months ago, she freaked out so bad when my niece told her, she ran out the room. I just remember her saying she can't deal with that and she doesn't know how to deal with this stuff. I told her she better figure it out be her youngest is turning 11 this month and she is right on her heals.

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[Shadow]

My sister's oldest is 12 and got her period a couple months ago, she freaked out so bad when my niece told her, she ran out the room. I just remember her saying she can't deal with that and she doesn't know how to deal with this stuff. I told her she better figure it out be her youngest is turning 11 this month and she is right on her heals.

_________________

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..sig by me
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I plan on running headlong into the Abyss, baby.

It's going to suck but as parents we do what we must.

I hope your friend got through it okay.

 

[followup]

I'm 3 years from this myself. My daughter turns ten this month, and was happy when she noticed her boobs were getting bigger.

That is the best part of becoming a woman. But seriously, when it's time for her to go bra shopping, take her to Nordstrom's or Macy's lingerie section. The ladies can give her a proper fitting and tell her which size she is.

 

[Shadow]

That is the best part of becoming a woman. But seriously, when it's time for her to go bra shopping, take her to Nordstrom's or Macy's lingerie section. The ladies can give her a proper fitting and tell her which size she is.

You do know this statement did not make me feel better, right?


Now show me your titties to make up for it.

 

[LoneStar29]

I definitely agree with Follow-Up. The girl's mother needs to have that deep talk with her daughter about sex, and anything else the girl wants to know. The mother should be honest and talk frankly about the consequences of sex -- STDs in particular along with the risk of pregnancy.

I do not think the girl should be placed on birth control at this time. Hopefully she and her mother will be close enough that the girl could later approach her mother and discuss it when she feels ready to have a mature relationship (College, but we all know kids start way earlier nowadays).

Tell your buddy not to go crazy, buying shotguns and intimidating every boy that comes to date his daughter. The best thing he can do is to educate her as best as possible to make the best decisions for herself, and be supportive.

C/S Noir(as usual) ... I don't think they should put her on birth control just yet ... keep an open relationship with her so when she starts becoming sexually active they can talk about getting the pills then ... I think doing it now will make her feel she has permission to do it ... don't shelter her ... I know first hand that if you do not talk to your child openly about it she could end up trying to learn on her own which may lead to bad experiences

 

[Twistyaaliyah]

-A good topic would to be to discuss with her ( if do the sex talk) the high rise in teenagers gettin pregnant.
-Explain the discomfort of having a child at a young age and she wont have u to rely on to take care of the chlid cuz it would be her responsibility. ( it may be a lie but just let her know its a big respsonsiblity)
-Emphasize abstinence.
-Validate her most of all.
-and last... leave on a very friendly tip.
-Oh yea i forgot the boyfriend talk...however i dont think this should come in in the first talk tho. Probably talk about how boys are going to want to get to her and blah blah.
-Validate her.

plus she is 13 ..y the fuck is her mom thinkin about giving her birth control. Esp so early in her development?

Ne ways... wat i said above is wat i would do. Giving a girl birthcontrol so early is the worst thing ive seen mothers do.

P.s. Im 19 and i know. Hearing those personal stories from the young ones face to face and on some forums for pre teens and teenagers just lets me know that they interpret things wayyyy different

 

[p5ych3]

last week i told me 13 yr to stop walking and "shaking" like that.
She said she couldn't help, she got it from her mom. i should be
worried cuz her mom is mid 30s, but looks and dresses like she
is in her early 20s.

i keep an open dialog, she knew about sex and the consequences
before her body started changing. now we keep reinforcing everything
as the boys are noticing her and come hovering.

 

[PrincessC]

I think that having open communication between the daughter and both of her parents is key. I remember when this happened to me. My mom and sister sat me down and gave me the real deal about sex, my body, guys, etc. Yes, it was mortifying at the time. I think where some parents go wrong is when they don't educate their girls on sex, their bodies, and the physical and emotional changes that are happening.

Locking her down isn't going to do anything, because that might encourage her to sneak around. I would say, just educate them on safe sex and keep the lines of communication open.