What's the most embarrasing shit that happened while trying to holla at a broad?

[cli-terminator]

A few years ago, I was out to eat dinner with this girl on a first date & got caught off guard with a sneeze. Unfortunately it was a really violent sneeze that caused me to fart very loudly as well. There was no way for me to mask that shit, she definitely heard it & started to laugh at me. To make matters worse the fart was a borderline shart so I had that uneasy feeling like I soiled myself while sitting. It didn't stink but still had me self-conscious about getting up or walking around for the rest of the night. Needless to say I didn't get any buns that night.

 

[quickflip]

 

[SickMyDuck]

Tripped on the damn carpet in the mall after getting the digits... I turned it into a jog to try to play it off... later she told me she was all over it.

To make matters worse the fart was a borderline shart so I had that uneasy feeling like I soiled myself while sitting. It didn't stink but still had me self-conscious about getting up or walking around for the rest of the night. Needless to say I didn't get any buns that night.

 

[fwillia]

Okay I know y'all wont believe me, but this happened to my man...



Okay we were in this party. It was packed as hell. Like barely enough space to walk. So me and my man walk by these bitches and my man says some slick shit to one of them. She slayed him hard as hell. Like "Ill. No nigga go that way please." or some shit like that. You could tell his feelings were kind of hurt. At that very moment some melee happened not far from us and movement stops altogether.

He ends up having to stand damn near shoulder to shoulder with the bitch who just played him for like the next 15 minutes. He had the look on his face, and she was visibly disgusted.

In my head I was like

 

[gameboy]

years ago, chick i just met called & wanted to go to the movies,,, i pick her up from her apt & drive to the show,,, as we are in line, some kat snatches her by her hair like "bitch!,, the fuck are you doing out with somebody else!,,, she's like "i'm sorry!, i'm sorry!",,, kat must have been stalking her & followed us,,,

now i know some of ya'll captains would have jumped in & saved the day at this point,,, but i didn't know the bitch like that, & she obviously had history with this kat (who never disrespected me directly),,,

so i proceeded to buy my own ticket while her dude dragged her ass thru the parking lot,,, people in line are staring at me, but i'm staring back like, "i don't know these muthafukaz",,, oh well,,, it was a movie i really wanted to see

 

[Thurgood]

Okay I know y'all wont believe me, but this happened to my man...



Okay we were in this party. It was packed as hell. Like barely enough space to walk. So me and my man walk by these bitches and my man says some slick shit to one of them. She slayed him hard as hell. Like "Ill. No nigga go that way please." or some shit like that. You could tell his feelings were kind of hurt. At that very moment some melee happened not far from us and movement stops altogether.

He ends up having to stand damn near shoulder to shoulder with the bitch who just played him for like the next 15 minutes. He had the look on his face, and she was visibly disgusted.

In my head I was like

Nigga that's a believable story... I swear I ain't the only one who thought u were gonna say he snuffed her ass during the melee.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

Tripped on the damn carpet in the mall after getting the digits... I turned it into a jog to try to play it off... later she told me she was all over it.

i posted this in another thread.. i had bought a large chocolate shake from the food court dairy queen at the mall near where i live,as i was going on the down
escalator i saw this girl(blasian) and her friends going up to the upper level..as i turned to say hi i lost my footing and tumbled down the rest of the escalator spilling my milkshake on my shirt,the rail,etc when i landed at the bottom(the down escalator was facing the Old Navy store),a couple of the employees and a security guard(black dude) walking by were like

 

[fwillia]

Nigga that's a believable story... I swear I ain't the only one who thought u were gonna say he snuffed her ass during the melee.

I'm saying I bet ni99as are gonna think it really happened to me.


Nah he's not that type of dude. I do have homies that would've taken it to a disrespectful level though.

 

[gameboy]

i posted this in another thread.. i had bought a large chocolate shake from the food court dairy queen at the mall near where i live,as i was going on the down
escalator i saw this girl(blasian) and her friends going up to the upper level..as i turned to say hi i lost my footing and tumbled down the rest of the escalator spilling my milkshake on my shirt,the rail,etc when i landed at the bottom(the down escalator was facing the Old Navy store),a couple of the employees and a security guard(black dude) walking by were like

oh wow!,,,

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

years ago, chick i just met called & wanted to go to the movies,,, i pick her up from her apt & drive to the show,,, as we are in line, some kat snatches her by her hair like "bitch!,, the fuck are you doing out with somebody else!,,, she's like "i'm sorry!, i'm sorry!",,, kat must have been stalking her & followed us,,,

now i know some of ya'll captains would have jumped in & saved the day at this point,,, but i didn't know the bitch like that, & she obviously had history with this kat (who never disrespected me directly),,, i proceeded to buy my own ticket while her dude dragged her ass though thru the parking lot,,, oh well,,, it was a movie i really wanted to see

mofo probably was profiled on the news and charged w/ domestic violence..

 

[jamiemelo]

i posted this in another thread.. i had bought a large chocolate shake from the food court dairy queen at the mall near where i live,as i was going on the down
escalator i saw this girl(blasian) and her friends going up to the upper level..as i turned to say hi i lost my footing and tumbled down the rest of the escalator spilling my milkshake on my shirt,the rail,etc when i landed at the bottom(the down escalator was facing the Old Navy store),a couple of the employees and a security guard(black dude) walking by were like

 

[Rick Ronson]

Im way too cool for any of that shit son.

I never holla'd at a bitches anyways.

I have no game...i got spoiled.

 

[theoriginalgreatone]

Yeah, I'm always trippin... always!

 

[cli-terminator]

i posted this in another thread.. i had bought a large chocolate shake from the food court dairy queen at the mall near where i live,as i was going on the down
escalator i saw this girl(blasian) and her friends going up to the upper level..as i turned to say hi i lost my footing and tumbled down the rest of the escalator spilling my milkshake on my shirt,the rail,etc when i landed at the bottom(the down escalator was facing the Old Navy store),a couple of the employees and a security guard(black dude) walking by were like

 

[darth frosty]

*Deep sigh and dread*

I was on my bike (old ZX-10) had just left from my brothers.

Was getting gas and this FIONE bitch was at the pump on the otherside. Chatted her up got the digits and was feeling good as hell.

Nice sunny day and for those in the D I was at the gas station on livernois and grand river. Grand river runs at an angle to livernois and both are broad streets. So I pull out from the gas station and hit (I'm on a crotch rocket and I'll admit I wanted to show out in front of shorty.)

While Iam heading down livernois THIS FUCKING OLD ASS BITCH TURNS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME ONTO GRAND RIVER?!?

Like I said I hit it when I left the gas station , so my only reaction was to grab a handfull of brake and hope for the best. My front wheel wobbled on me but I was able to slow it down to where when I fell I just scraped my knee and broke the gear shifter.

Bitch who turned in front of me never stopped, so I picked my bike up and baby girl rides by to see if I was all right. Wasn't hurt just mad with a wounded pride.

Limped home in 2nd gear and had to get the gear shift bracket welded. I debated calling ole girl but finally did turns out she was a student at wayne state and had her own place

 

[gameboy]

*Deep sigh and dread*

I was on my bike (old ZX-10) had just left from my brothers.

Was getting gas and this FIONE bitch was at the pump on the otherside. Chatted her up got the digits and was feeling good as hell.

Nice sunny day and for those in the D I was at the gas station on livernois and grand river. Grand river runs at an angle to livernois and both are broad streets. So I pull out from the gas station and hit (I'm on a crotch rocket and I'll admit I wanted to show out in front of shorty.)

While Iam heading down livernois THIS FUCKING OLD ASS BITCH TURNS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME ONTO GRAND RIVER?!?

Like I said I hit it when I left the gas station , so my only reaction was to grab a handfull of brake and hope for the best. My front wheel wobbled on me but I was able to slow it down to where when I fell I just scraped my knee and broke the gear shifter.

Bitch who turned in front of me never stopped, so I picked my bike up and baby girl rides by to see if I was all right. Wasn't hurt just mad with a wounded pride.

Limped home in 2nd gear and had to get the gear shift bracket welded. I debated calling ole girl but finally did turns out she was a student at wayne state and had her own place

wow,,, at least you weren't seriously hurt bro,,, what year is that 10 bro?,,, gotta be like an '04,,, ninjas have came a long way since then,,, i'm on a newer 14 currently

 

[darth frosty]

Naw man thats an 88 zx-10. Shit was the fastest production bike till the Zx-11 came out the next year. Got that bitch up to 180 on I-75. Loved the bike but they had a problem with oil not getting to the 3rd cylinder. Fucking engine seized up on me, thankfully I was only 2 blocks from home when it died.

 

[Liquid2000]

Friend of mine was talking to this girl on the phone. He was telling her he was training for a bodybuilding competition and he on a diet. Works out twice a day, eats tuna for lunch, drinks nothing but water. While he's telling her this he's pulling up to the drive thru to burger king. He told her hold on he had another call and thought he pressed the mute button.

He then proceeds to order 2 whoppers, 2 bk jr whoppers, 2 large fries, a side salad with a large Pepsi. The girl on the phone heard all of this and said OMG I guess the diet is over. He said he just said oh shit yea it is and hung up. Never called her again. He was 5'8" at 250 at the time. huge gut. I dont know how he was going to play that off when they were going to meet.

 

[gameboy]

Naw man thats an 88 zx-10. Shit was the fastest production bike till the Zx-11 came out the next year. Got that bitch up to 180 on I-75. Loved the bike but they had a problem with oil not getting to the 3rd cylinder. Fucking engine seized up on me, thankfully I was only 2 blocks from home when it died.

goodnite!,,, didn't even know they made 10's back in 88,,, thx for the history lesson

 

[bigred22]

I had been trying to get my courage up all week to holler at this bad ass PR broad on campus. At the time I was playing ball and I hung out on campus with with team members alot. anyway, ole girl came by one day when we was on campus, she walked by and smiled. I ran to catch up to her, as soon as I got right behind and called her name my muthafuck'n shoe got caught in a crack in the pavement and I fell (that shit felt like it took 10 minutes to hit the muthafuck'n ground!). As soon as she turned around I busted my ass. Lil did I know like 30 team mates had gathered behind me to see me try to holler. So as soon as I busted my ass I heard 30 niggas erupt into laughter at the same muthafuck'n time!!! She started roll'n too.


Still got her number though


She ended up marrying a nigga on the team who got drafted and played 13 muthafuck'n years. I felt like the McFly that fucked up

 

[SickMyDuck]

i posted this in another thread.. i had bought a large chocolate shake from the food court dairy queen at the mall near where i live,as i was going on the down
escalator i saw this girl(blasian) and her friends going up to the upper level..as i turned to say hi i lost my footing and tumbled down the rest of the escalator spilling my milkshake on my shirt,the rail,etc when i landed at the bottom(the down escalator was facing the Old Navy store),a couple of the employees and a security guard(black dude) walking by were like

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

My husband had a 77 black Monte Carlo....it was really nice he put a LOT of work into it. Had white leather interior. Bucket racing seats. I'm only 5'2. So i used to have to sit on phone books to drive it. And my arms are short. So to drive the car my arms had to be pretty much fully extended.



These girls were walking down the street with some short shorts on and were the finest things i've seen that month.

Anyway i'm not paying attention and i'm drifting the car, i jump the median and hit a light pole. For those in Dallas it was the intersection of Ft Worth Ave and Hampton. Wrecked hubby's car.

When we were having a party on a lake once, we were on a rented party boat. Lots of people, it was a swingers event. And these niiiiiiiiiice lookin women were in a speed boat. I was kind of over the rail. just learning, but i was up on my tip toe. And i was talking to these chicks. Well yelling at them to tell them to come on the boat. They were yelling back we were having a conversation of yelling. The boat hit a wave, and i fell over the edge into the water. The chicks picked me up though.

Fun was had by all.

 

[Drayonis]

My husband had a 77 black Monte Carlo....it was really nice he put a LOT of work into it. Had white leather interior. Bucket racing seats. I'm only 5'2. So i used to have to sit on phone books to drive it. And my arms are short. So to drive the car my arms had to be pretty much fully extended.



These girls were walking down the street with some short shorts on and were the finest things i've seen that month.

Anyway i'm not paying attention and i'm drifting the car, i jump the median and hit a light pole. For those in Dallas it was the intersection of Ft Worth Ave and Hampton. Wrecked hubby's car.

When we were having a party on a lake once, we were on a rented party boat. Lots of people, it was a swingers event. And these niiiiiiiiiice lookin women were in a speed boat. I was kind of over the rail. just learning, but i was up on my tip toe. And i was talking to these chicks. Well yelling at them to tell them to come on the boat. They were yelling back we were having a conversation of yelling. The boat hit a wave, and i fell over the edge into the water. The chicks picked me up though.

Fun was had by all.

Gross.

 

[CT's Finest]

My husband had a 77 black Monte Carlo....it was really nice he put a LOT of work into it. Had white leather interior. Bucket racing seats. I'm only 5'2. So i used to have to sit on phone books to drive it. And my arms are short. So to drive the car my arms had to be pretty much fully extended.



These girls were walking down the street with some short shorts on and were the finest things i've seen that month.

Anyway i'm not paying attention and i'm drifting the car, i jump the median and hit a light pole. For those in Dallas it was the intersection of Ft Worth Ave and Hampton. Wrecked hubby's car.

When we were having a party on a lake once, we were on a rented party boat. Lots of people, it was a swingers event. And these niiiiiiiiiice lookin women were in a speed boat. I was kind of over the rail. just learning, but i was up on my tip toe. And i was talking to these chicks. Well yelling at them to tell them to come on the boat. They were yelling back we were having a conversation of yelling. The boat hit a wave, and i fell over the edge into the water. The chicks picked me up though.

Fun was had by all.

 

[runteldat]

My husband had a 77 black Monte Carlo....it was really nice he put a LOT of work into it. Had white leather interior. Bucket racing seats. I'm only 5'2. So i used to have to sit on phone books to drive it. And my arms are short. So to drive the car my arms had to be pretty much fully extended.



These girls were walking down the street with some short shorts on and were the finest things i've seen that month.

Anyway i'm not paying attention and i'm drifting the car, i jump the median and hit a light pole. For those in Dallas it was the intersection of Ft Worth Ave and Hampton. Wrecked hubby's car.

When we were having a party on a lake once, we were on a rented party boat. Lots of people, it was a swingers event. And these niiiiiiiiiice lookin women were in a speed boat. I was kind of over the rail. just learning, but i was up on my tip toe. And i was talking to these chicks. Well yelling at them to tell them to come on the boat. They were yelling back we were having a conversation of yelling. The boat hit a wave, and i fell over the edge into the water. The chicks picked me up though.

Fun was had by all.

Uh... Damn. Uh.... What yo name is girl?

 

[mr_mantel_216]

Damn, i thought mine was embarrassing but after reading this thread Ill just STFU and

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Uh... Damn. Uh.... What yo name is girl?

Sunni, what's yours?

 

[PrettyToney]

Friend of mine was talking to this girl on the phone. He was telling her he was training for a bodybuilding competition and he on a diet. Works out twice a day, eats tuna for lunch, drinks nothing but water. While he's telling her this he's pulling up to the drive thru to burger king. He told her hold on he had another call and thought he pressed the mute button.

He then proceeds to order 2 whoppers, 2 bk jr whoppers, 2 large fries, a side salad with a large Pepsi. The girl on the phone heard all of this and said OMG I guess the diet is over. He said he just said oh shit yea it is and hung up. Never called her again. He was 5'8" at 250 at the time. huge gut. I dont know how he was going to play that off when they were going to meet.

Me and 2 of my partners were leavin the club (H20 for the DC heads)...there's a restaurant (Phillips) right beside the club with a waterfront pier. None of us were good enough to drive, so we all just chilled on the pier for a little bit to sober up. So as we chillin, I see this fine ass bitch comin down the pier...and u know my drunk ass had to holla. I went over to the bitch, rapped to her for a couple minutes, and then all of sudden...I lost my balance and fell flat on my ass! The bitch just walked away giggling, but I could hear my boys bust out in laughter all the way down the pier.

 

[Dr. Truth]

We used to take the train over to Philly after school and chill at the Gallery. So our dumb asses decide to post up outside near this bum feeding pigeons. We should have moved but we were already high and slightly drunk. Anyways we got some broads to walk over with us. I pull one aside and start hollerin at her. About 2 mins in I feel something cold drip on my face and see the girls face go from smiles to horror, a pigeon had shit on my head and face. The girl ran off laughing and by that time all my bols had seen this and were screamin with laughter making a scene. I couldn't play it off so I just walked over to the homeless guy and started beating his ass. To this day I'm baffled why pigeon shit is cold like ice.

 

[Dr. Truth]

i posted this in another thread.. i had bought a large chocolate shake from the food court dairy queen at the mall near where i live,as i was going on the down
escalator i saw this girl(blasian) and her friends going up to the upper level..as i turned to say hi i lost my footing and tumbled down the rest of the escalator spilling my milkshake on my shirt,the rail,etc when i landed at the bottom(the down escalator was facing the Old Navy store),a couple of the employees and a security guard(black dude) walking by were like

 

[ShortyCumStain]

years ago, chick i just met called & wanted to go to the movies,,, i pick her up from her apt & drive to the show,,, as we are in line, some kat snatches her by her hair like "bitch!,, the fuck are you doing out with somebody else!,,, she's like "i'm sorry!, i'm sorry!",,, kat must have been stalking her & followed us,,,

now i know some of ya'll captains would have jumped in & saved the day at this point,,, but i didn't know the bitch like that, & she obviously had history with this kat (who never disrespected me directly),,,

so i proceeded to buy my own ticket while her dude dragged her ass thru the parking lot,,, people in line are staring at me, but i'm staring back like, "i don't know these muthafukaz",,, oh well,,, it was a movie i really wanted to see

 

[4North1Side2]

i posted this in another thread.. i had bought a large chocolate shake from the food court dairy queen at the mall near where i live,as i was going on the down
escalator i saw this girl(blasian) and her friends going up to the upper level..as i turned to say hi i lost my footing and tumbled down the rest of the escalator spilling my milkshake on my shirt,the rail,etc when i landed at the bottom(the down escalator was facing the Old Navy store),a couple of the employees and a security guard(black dude) walking by were like

 

[Dr. Truth]

years ago, chick i just met called & wanted to go to the movies,,, i pick her up from her apt & drive to the show,,, as we are in line, some kat snatches her by her hair like "bitch!,, the fuck are you doing out with somebody else!,,, she's like "i'm sorry!, i'm sorry!",,, kat must have been stalking her & followed us,,,

now i know some of ya'll captains would have jumped in & saved the day at this point,,, but i didn't know the bitch like that, & she obviously had history with this kat (who never disrespected me directly),,,

so i proceeded to buy my own ticket while her dude dragged her ass thru the parking lot,,, people in line are staring at me, but i'm staring back like, "i don't know these muthafukaz",,, oh well,,, it was a movie i really wanted to see

Hell Naw

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

We used to take the train over to Philly after school and chill at the Gallery. So our dumb asses decide to post up outside near this bum feeding pigeons. We should have moved but we were already high and slightly drunk. Anyways we got some broads to walk over with us. I pull one aside and start hollerin at her. About 2 mins in I feel something cold drip on my face and see the girls face go from smiles to horror, a pigeon had shit on my head and face. The girl ran off laughing and by that time all my bols had seen this and were screamin with laughter making a scene. I couldn't play it off so I just walked over to the homeless guy and started beating his ass. To this day I'm baffled why pigeon shit is cold like ice.

Wait............whaaat? What he have to do with it?

 

[Dr. Truth]

Wait............whaaat? What he have to do with it?

He was feeding them nasty ass winged rats causing them to accumulate.