What do you REALLY offer of yourself?

[shanebp1978]

Many of you ladies problem think your a great catch! An your probably are!


But what do you as a person really offer a relationship!? Is it just the regular, companionship, sex, etc.

Or is it some special quality only you posses?

An just as a general question to all, what benefit to their lives, do people involved with you get!?

Thoughts?

 

[femmenoire]

I can only tell you what guys tell me and that is "I'm a great friend" and someone they could see knowing for a very long time.

 

[SWATLANTA]

Many of you ladies problem think your a great catch! An your probably are!


But what do you as a person really offer a relationship!? Is it just the regular, companionship, sex, etc.

Or is it some special quality only you posses?

An just as a general question to all, what benefit to their lives, do people involved with you get!?

Thoughts?

*pulls up chair*

 

[bigirl]

You probably wouldn't believe it but I am very nurturing. Love to cook favorite meals and give good massages. Also good with the herbs and will get you well if you get sick. I am a good listener and come up with good solutions to problems. I am also very loyal to a fault. I am the type who always turns up with little surprises and things.

 

[CT's Finest]

You probably wouldn't believe it but I am very nurturing. Love to cook favorite meals and give good massages. Also good with the herbs and will get you well if you get sick. I am a good listener and come up with good solutions to problems. I am also very loyal to a fault. I am the type who always turns up with little surprises and things.

This is not that surprising... Most people are that way when in their comfort zone (e.g. when dealing with friends and family), so I can picture you being the same way...

 

[Iron]

This is not that surprising... Most people are that way when in their comfort zone (e.g. when dealing with friends and family), so I can picture you being the same way...

Yeah.

Once I warm up. Everyone tells me I'am goofy, very sarcastic, I've been called a bully more than a few times.

I guess I'm the entertainer.

I don't like to be that though.

atleast not all the time.

I get tired of having to be the one that makes all the plans for entertainment and dates or having to be the one to carry a conversation.

It's boring.

So now I fall back and wait to see what she has to offer before I start puttin' in work.

 

[onyxfemme]

Every guy I have been in a relationship w/ has always said, that I made them feel good as a man and that I am very supportive.

But I think I bring: Honesty, Humor and excitment in the bedroom

 

[JofromthaNO]

Many of you ladies problem think your a great catch! An your probably are!


But what do you as a person really offer a relationship!? Is it just the regular, companionship, sex, etc.

Or is it some special quality only you posses?

An just as a general question to all, what benefit to their lives, do people involved with you get!?

Thoughts?

Interesting...a few years ago, I looked at myself as a girlfriend and tried to figure out what I was bringing, in general, to my relationships with men and friends...I felt I was very selfish when, in turn, they felt I was very generous...generous with my time, energy and affection.

In addition to my generosity, I think I'm very candid about particular subjects when I trust the person I'm in a relationship with. I don't mind showing my vulnerability to those I care for. I can be a great listener (one of the reasons I became a psychologist), and have a sense of humor that can roll with the nerdiest/geekiest or bathroom humor-like behavior.

Humility is also a big thing for me... if you want to shine, I'll let you. As a girlfriend, this is a BIG thing, because I notice guys don't often get the respect and admiration they deserve in general, and especially when it comes to accomplishing their goals. So, when he does something and I know it's something huge for him, it's huge for US...and he deserves all my love and congrats for it, regardless of how big or small it could be.

 

[Eva Hornae]

I offer ME to the relationship! With that said, i'm a great friend, good listener (at times I may interject), i'm very supportive in whatever my man's dreams and goals are (whether long term or short), and I will be there if and when the chips fall.

As for in the bedroom, im just as good or even better there, that's my proving ground!

 

[DeSiRe]

well as for me...

i think with any relationship (friend or more) part of your role is to make sure that the oher person is the best person they can be thru support or help...and that came come in many different forms i am an extremely compassionate person by nature so this comes easy to me

with all that being said im going to make sure i do everything possible to make sure my man is the best person he can be. if thats helping him find a new job or helping him thru school

im a southeren gal...so the tradional stuff im down for...i love to cook and i dont mind cleaning...down here we were taught to make our men feel like kings...when u get home put your legs up...let me fix your plate...and all that good stuff

i am a very dependable person and i mean exactly what i say...i dont ever expect my man to read my mind

i love to be pampered so i pamper my man....women expect to be wined and dined and made to feel special and i sure dont mind returning the favor

i would say that i offer "all" of me...but i do have my limmits...i dont do stuff like like a guy drive around with my car like its his...or give him access to my debit card to spend how he wants when he wants...

there are some females out there that take it to that level...but i think all thats unecessary...unless you are married of course

 

[Imhotep]

*pulls up chair*

*Pulls up 2nd chair and whips on note pad.*

 

[Imhotep]

Every guy I have been in a relationship w/ has always said, that I made them feel good as a man and that I am very supportive.

But I think I bring: Honesty, Humor and excitment in the bedroom

What about outside of the bedroom, do you have skills.............

 

[Imhotep]

bump

 

[onyxfemme]

What about outside of the bedroom, do you have skills.............

What exactly are you asking? I just want to make sure I understand your question, before I answer.

 

[Imhotep]

What exactly are you asking? I just want to make sure I understand your question, before I answer.

Most men love great sex, and the worst sex can be is good. So other than sex, what do you offer (skills)outside the bedroom that no other woman can? honest question......

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

I am a good listener. I try to help people and offer advice if they need it. I can't offer patience because I don't have any.I offer good conversation,and I can make people laugh also

 

[LoneStar29]

I don't consider myself a "great catch" ... I think I am a woman who is still learning and willing/wants to learn more ... meaning I don't feel I have all the great relationship qualities but I am willing to learn how to treat the man I care for if he is willing to teach/show me what he wants as long as he is willing to do the same for me ... but one thing I have been told by every boyfriend I have ever had since I was teenager is that I am good at and take great pride in "taking care" of my man

 

[CT's Finest]

I don't consider myself a "great catch" ... I think I am a woman who is still learning and willing/wants to learn more ... meaning I don't feel I have all the great relationship qualities but I am willing to learn how to treat the man I care for if he is willing to teach/show me what he wants as long as he is willing to do the same for me ... but one thing I have been told by every boyfriend I have ever had since I was teenager is that I am good at and take great pride in "taking care" of my man

As a man I can really appreciate a woman who is willing to learn. There are too many people out there (in this case women) who feel they know it all. Allot of folks are too set in their ways and don't want to adjust to their situation. Star, this kind of attitude is a great start. It shows that you are willing to humble yourself enough to figure out the best way to start and maintain a relationship...

 

[AristotlesOwn]

I am a good listener. I try to help people and offer advice if they need it. I can't offer patience because I don't have any.I offer good conversation,and I can make people laugh also

you and me both.

Good thread.

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

you and me both.

Good thread.

I think the patience bug skipped me. Because my patience last all of a few seconds,lol.

 

[Cleopatra_J]

I really had to think of this answer because its just too easy to say, "me."


I think I'm an excellent listener. I will listen to whatever you have to say most of the time. I'm going to engage you in meaningful conversation. I want to bring out the best in whoever I'm in a relationship with. If you say, "I wanna do ________" I'm gonna help you strategize and plan and do that. All my friends tell me they love that I'm always down for everything. At the same time, I'm not gonna sugarcoat. I'm going to tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. I'm not the controlling type of girl. I think those are things that'll keep someone around more than just saying, "Oh, i cook a mean dinner or I clean a mean house..." A good relationship is so much more than that.

I hope I'm answering the question the way the op wants it to be answered. I mean, I don't think I do anything particularly special.. I'm just me when I meet someone... I don't front... I let you see the good and the bad.. you can take it or leave it...

 

[melonpecan]

I offer ME to the relationship!

Dammit you took my answer!


But anyway, that's all I have to give. I don't mind giving up the last fry or sip of coke. I'll listen even if I'm not interested. The fact that I like most of what men like anyway is a plus.

I am all I have to give...and a womb.

 

[onyxfemme]

Most men love great sex, and the worst sex can be is good. So other than sex, what do you offer (skills)outside the bedroom that no other woman can? honest question......

Honesty and humor as I mentioned......I also stated what the men I have dated said about me.
My husband says-love, motivation, loyalty stability, commitment, peace of mind and he also said a certain "appeal" not just sexaul he couldnt explain, insight and most importantly my heart.
Again per my husband

 

[dHustla]

I know the OP directed this towards the ladies, but I'd like to make this a coed thing and reveal myself as well.

I got a late start on social life and didn't "start know myself", as Mr. J.J. calls it, until I was more than a few years out of my mama's house. Thus, it was even later that I began to learn how to "know" others.

Others' perspective:
I'm very ambitious, strong willed, problem solver, teacher(women always say they learn a lot from me). Can be extremely charming, enough to make a woman see it as a threat to our relationship. Intelligent and very funny at times. Always told I was "wiser than my years", so I have great conversation. Give people the benefit of the doubt, almost to a fault. Was inconsiderate as hell(read above), but a lot better now. Just as, and at times even more, sweet(I'm told). Loyal, even when it's not reciprocated, and even when I stand to gain nothin @ me. A man of principal (missed out on SO much because of this one, no one respects principals). A romantic(colored roses w/ witty note), good listener, no respect for feelings, even my own(until these last few years), brutally honest(read: won't spare your feelings ), no patience..


All of which are in varying degrees of transition.
But as much as I've learned about myself(and women).... I know I have tons more to learn and hopefully I'm able to hold on to my positive attributes while leaving behind the baggage that comes w/ bad experiences.

 

[dHustla]

I don't consider myself a "great catch" ... I think I am a woman who is still learning and willing/wants to learn more ... meaning I don't feel I have all the great relationship qualities but I am willing to learn how to treat the man I care for if he is willing to teach/show me what he wants as long as he is willing to do the same for me ... but one thing I have been told by every boyfriend I have ever had since I was teenager is that I am good at and take great pride in "taking care" of my man

This resonates with me for a few reasons.

You show humility and a desire for self-improvement. These things are GREAT qualities that many undervalue.

I am good at and take great pride in "taking care" of my man

I won't claim to "know you", but I do recall a few exchanges in past threads where you were talking about men using you or taking advantage of you... for whatever.
The bolded, as well as those past exchanges, tell me you have a heart of gold... and, sweetie, you have to be mindful of who you surround yourself with, and careful with who you show your heart to.

People, men & women alike, will take advantage for their own selfish reasons... and use you up!

 

[dHustla]

*clears throat*