PLACEMENTS AND THE LAW
By Jeffrey G. Allen, J.D., C.P.C.
THE TOP TEN INTERVIEW BLUNDERS
By Jeffrey G. Allen, J.D., C.P.C.
Luckily, there's enough wrongheaded interview advice out there for you to generate offers easily.
That's because after reading the Top Ten Interview Blunders, you won't make them! They're what separates the jobseekers from the jobgetters.
Here they are:
1. Overanalyzing the employer.
This is classic "analysis paralysis" that enables "un-terviewers" to avoid more productive activity – like face-to-face interviews.
Go to any public or college library, and you see those tired-not-hired folks poring over catalogs, annual reports and computers. They're looking for the "best" employers, the "hottest" jobs and the ultimate "hiring authority".
In 5 minutes at your convenience googling on you computer, or by a strategic phone call, you can get more relevant information on any employer than you need. Then you can play it back in the interview that you can get by any one of the 101 ways I cover in Instant Interviews (Wiley, 2009).
2. Eating the wrong food before the interview.
Cholesterol eggs and fatty processed meat, greasy processed potatoes, "enriched" processed bread and sugary processed juice. They're no better with acidic, diuretic coffee than refined flour, refined-sugar and deep-fried donuts.
Yuk! And you're fueling your interviewin' machine with that heart attack?
You'll get gas and then run out of it before you can steer the first interviewer of the day into an offer.
We've developed the only breakfast any candidate could want. It's a delicious, nutritious, energy-packed, mood-enhancing, brain-firing, staying-power smoothie called the "Instant Interview Magic Potion". (It's not really magic. It will only seem that way. You can't help but smile when you feel so good.)
The Magic Potion base is made from protein powder, frozen bananas, instant pudding, almond butter, oatmeal, and a bunch of other stuff in just the right proportions to supercharge that interviewin' machine of yours.
Do 2 of Instant Interviews is entitled "Making and Taking the Instant Interview Magic Potion". I can't take the space to lay it all out for you now, but that's where you'll find all you need to know. Do 3 follows with "Maintaining Magic Potion Potency Throughout the Day" to keep you on your toes through the multiple interviews you get from the gate.
3. Dressing improperly for the interview.
In The Complete Q&A Job Interview Book (Wiley, 2004), I explained how the "actor factor" determines who gets hired. Simply stated, an interview is a screen test – an act. If you know your lines, perfect your delivery and dress for the part, you'll get hired. If you don't, you won't. No retakes, no bit parts.
Every actor knows the drill: Look the part and the part plays itself.
The only problem with the standard "look like a brain surgeon if you want a brain surgeon's job" or "wear a chartreuse suit" is that it misses the only thing that ever gets anyone a job offer. That is identification with the interviewer. People hire people who are like them. It's what makes you choose certain friends, insurance agents and employees. Hiring is all about primordial urges.
So what do you cover that machine with? Whatever the interviewer's wearing! That gets you hopelessly hired.
Call and ask any gatekeeper who answers the interviewer's phone. You can even disguise your voice and stay anonymous if you're scared of a big bite. Your secret's safe with me.
Start with something like, "Hi! I'm Hymie Soon and was just wondering what your dress code is at Gottabekidding Group. I know Oscar Offeror is supposed to be a great dresser. What does he wear?"
Any nonsense like that works. You will too.
4. Arriving at the interview too early or too late.
Any receptionist in the world will tell you that appointment punctuality follows a standard bell-shaped curve: 1/3 of the visitors will be early, 1/3 on time, and 1/3 late. So if you're not sillysavvy, you'll be wrong 2/3 of the time.
No big deal? Not if you want to get practiced rather than offered.
Forget what your motivational guru told you about arriving early. It pressures already crazed interviewers. It makes you look like your time isn't valuable. And if you think it makes you look interested, you never spent any time on the other side of the desk looking at desperation personified.
Arriving late is even worse. Here's some space so you can write in the reasons:
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I covered this and much more in How to Turn an Interview into a Job (Simon & Schuster, 2004).
5. Greeting the interviewer improperly.
There's the "Magic Four Hello", and there's anything else.
Four things must happen simultaneously:
1. Direct eye contact. (If he's too ugly, look at the bridge of his nose.)
2. A smile. (Image consultants give smile classes! Practice in front of a mirror.)
3. The words, "Hi, I'm (first name, last name). It's a pleasure meeting you."
4. A firm but gentle handshake. (No dead flounder dangling at the end of your wrist. No live shark either. Practice shaking one hand with the other. Alone. If you've been in a funk because you've blown the few interviews you got, people already think you're crazy.)
More on this in Do 1 of Instant Interviews entitled, "Appearing Magically – Like a Genie!"
6. Sitting in the wrong place.
I don't mean the floor in the lobby (which feels better to un-terviewers). I mean where to sit inside the interviewer's office.
There's a desk there, yes? With two chairs facing it, yes? And a couch, maybe?
So you head for the chair on the right side if you're right-handed and the left side if you're left-handed. (If you're ambidextrous, jump over the desk and plop yourself down on the interviewer's lap, yes? No. Decide quick and go for one empty chair or the other.)
Sitting on your favored side will dramatically improve your delivery.
Oh -- about that couch. Always sit there if it exists, because it's on the side and wiggles you into a "you and me against the problem of dis here open rec" rather than the confrontational "you against me".
I'm tellin' you. This is primordial stuff!
7. Making the wrong initial comments.
I'd appreciate it if you'd start out with, "I just read Instant Interviews. Zap! You will offer me this gig."
The problem is he or she (sometimes both) will think you are a kleptomaniac who stole the book from his or her (sometimes both)'s desk. Unless you indicated the conviction on your app, you won't be hired.
So jabber with the jobber saying something like, "Is that a photo of your son? What a handsome young man!" Or try, "That statue of Albert Einstein is awesome!" You get the idea. Admire something in the office that she's bragging about.
Then the interviewer starts talking about something she likes, you listen attentively, agree, share some identical banter. A-h-h-h. It just takes your breath away. Everyone else kept sliding off the chair!
Hire that one! It beats like a maraca on the interviewer's drums.
8. Answering the interviewer's questions improperly.
There are only so many questions that are asked and only so many ways to answer them.
Oh, there might be some variations like the pitch of the interviewer's voice or his accent. Instant interviewers appreciate these variations, since otherwise they risk snoring while the offer is being extended.
Here are ones like the toughies we cover (along with jobgetting answers) in the Q&A Book:
"Tell me about yourself."
"What salary are you worth?"
"Why didn't you graduate from college?"
"What do people criticize you about at work?"
"Why did you change jobs so often?"
The key is to drive up the "actor factor" by knowing your lines. When you instantly interview, you're practicing 16 times a day, so it takes about a day.
9. Asking the interviewer the wrong questions.
Properly placed and executed questions enable you to lock in the interviewer and virtually lead him into extending an offer.
Unfortunately, most candidates do just the opposite with questions. They unlock the interviewer, and it's just a matter of her gracefully leading the candidate out the closest door. This can be easily avoided, and questions can be lock-cinch clinchers.
Do 92 of Instant Interviews is entitled "Controlling the Offeror Like a Robot". If that sounds like an overstatement, you don't understand the situation.
Proper questioning is like pushing a button that automatically generates a response. It's done with the precise use of aren't, can't, couldn't. doesn't, don't, hasn't, haven't, isn't, shouldn't, wasn't, weren't, won't and wouldn't.
These 13 words are used at the beginning, middle and end of a question like this:
"Haven't you looked for anyone to help?"
"Since you suspect the staff is overworked, doesn't it make sense for you to hire me?"
"We'd be able to get the job done right away, wouldn't we?"
The timing and articulation of questions is an acquired skill. You can easily learn how to do it naturally and effectively to close practically every "sale".
10. Exiting the interview awkwardly.
This is the reciprocal mating dance to the "Magic Four Hello", known as the "Magic Four Goodbye". A one, and a two, and a . . .
1. Direct eye contact.
2. A smile.
3. A firm but gentle handshake.
4. The words, "This looks like a great match! Thanks very much for taking the time."
More in Do 1 of Instant Interviews.
Paint by the numbers and you end up with the picture on the box – you getting an offer. These are the Top Ten Blunders. Only you won't make them ever again. Now you know how to paint
inside the lines.
I'd wish you good luck, but the only luck you need is that no other candidate knows what to do!
These may sound like common sense but hey.
I will say that I have often made the mistake of being to early thinking it would show me as eager.
