The Official Ted Cruz Thread


Super Moderator
John Boehner has less-than-positive things to say about Ted Cruz: ‘Lucifer in the flesh’
John Boehner isn’t exactly Ted Cruz’s biggest fan.

The former Speaker of the House candidly talked about the presidential hopeful during a Wednesday talk at Stanford University — and his opinion of the Texas Senatoraccused of being the Zodiac Killeris less than stellar.

“Lucifer in the flesh,” Boehner said,according to the Stanford Daily.“I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a b---h in my life.”


House Speaker John Boehner called Ted Cruz "Lucifer in the flesh" Wednesday.
Boehner, surprising no one with his blunt insults, said he wouldn’t vote for Cruz, in the off-chance the candidate becomes the republican nominee. He will, however, happily vote for Donald Trump: He is “texting buddies” with the billionaire businessman and the pair have golfed together for years, he said.

Cruz fired back at the former speaker Thursday.

“Tell me again who will stand up to Washington? Trump, who's Boehner's "texting and golfing buddy," or Carly & me?” he tweeted a day after he named ex-tech boss Carly Fiorina as his running mate.

VIEW GALLERYNew York Daily News front pages on the presidential election


Boehner also touched on the rest of the 2016 candidates during the Wednesday night talk. He has soft spot for the third Republican still in the race, Ohio Gov. John Kasich, he said.

“[Kasich] requires more effort on my behalf than all my other friends,” he said without elaborating on what that means. “But he’s still my friend, and I love him.”

The former speaker of the house said Ted Cruz is a "miserable son of a b---h."
Boehner said he expected Trump to clench the Republican nomination, despite speculation that a contested convention could yield an unlikely candidate.


And don’t rule out the possibility of an upset in the Democratic field either, the former Speaker warned. While Hillary Clinton will likely secure her party’s nomination, there’s always a chance of last-minute surprises — especially from Vice President Joe Biden.

“Don’t be shocked … if two weeks before the convention, here comes Joe Biden parachuting in and Barack Obama fanning the flames to make it all happen,” Boehner said,according to the newspaper.


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Stephen Has Some Tips For Potential VP Candidates (Not You, Carly)


Super Moderator

Carly Fiorina was once a pretty big fan of Hillary Clinton

2:34 p.m. ET

(Garan Santicola/Courtesy Narratively)

A lot can change in eight years — as Carly Fiorina knows. While the former Hewlett-Packcard CEO is now Ted Cruz's vice presidential nominee, Fiorina actually sung Hillary Clinton's praises back in 2008. While on the campaign trail for Republican presidential nominee John McCain, Fiorina described Clinton as "incredibly intelligent, focused, tough, determined."

"As a woman, I take great pride in the fact that Hillary Clinton ran for president," Fiorina said.

Fiorina added that, "Bold women, women in power are characterized, scrutinized differently than their male counterparts are." Fiorina has since joined the chorus of conservative voices who have accused Clinton of "playing the woman card," saying that "Hillary Clinton, first of all, calls everybody a sexist and that's not a fair game."

A representative for Fiorina clarified for CNN that the vice presidential candidate "thinks Hillary Clinton is smart and hardworking, but she also believes she is profoundly misguided on the important issues facing this country."

Watch the surprisingly different tone Fiorina had less than a decade ago, below. Jeva Lange


Super Moderator
This is TOO FUNNY... was that a secret handshake or are Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina just THAT awkward together?

Daen de Leon They're exchanging fluids through slits in the human suits. It only looks awkward to human eyes -- on their planet, it's a thing of beauty.
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Wes Sorrell
That's an image of never getting out of my head
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Daen de Leon
Wes Sorrell You think that's bad? Just wait until the gestational period is over ...
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Occupy Democrats
You won the internet with this one!
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Tracy O'Sullivan
Fiorina is like, "Ew, stop touching me!" Cruz is like a snake, you wonder if he feels slimey or clammy.
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Walter Craig
This reeks of McCain and Palin picking a woman running mate thinking that would help him get the women's vote
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Christine Shield
Cruz has to be the most awkward person on the planet. Even his kids think he's a joke.
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Stephanie Steele
Haha!! It looks to me like her hand was on top and he was struggling for the top spot as they raised their hands. Looks like he was still fighting even after their hands were in the air. What a mess!
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Karla Rivera
I think what happened is Cruz didn't want to feel dominated by Fiorina when she was going to go and have her hand on top as a sign of authority and initiative. Ted Cruz obviously wasn't going to let that happen and so now u see what happens when 2 idiots come together #prayforUSA
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Daniel Feeney
I think they were trying to sneak in a quick thumb wrestling match, but couldn't agree on the rules of engagement.
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Jim Vibber
I think it was Cruz's idea to lift their hands overhead in a "victory salute" and when he grabbed Fiorina's hand she thought he was trying to do something else. It looks like she was trying to pull her hand AWAY from the guy, interestingly enough.
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Michael Aziz
KKK or trailer park conspiracy? Just kidding when it was an Obama fist bump, it was considered evil and ghetto by some Republicans.
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Josh Misner
It's a power struggle, and I would wager that they both knew exactly what was happening, given the amount of nonverbal training these candidates obtain:
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Andrew Bandish
Fiorina to Cruz: " Give me your god damned clammy hand. You want my help getting the Women's vote? You my bitch, now!
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Timothy Storrs
This is a 'who's hand is on top' issue, an issue i have noticed in prayer's a Dominate thing...


Super Moderator

Moments after The Donald shoved Ted Cruz out of the presidential race, the failed candidate elbowed his long-suffering wife out of a hug. Literally.

The Republican senator from Texas mistakenly smacked Heidi Cruz in the face as he leaned in to embrace his father on Tuesday night.

Ted Cruz accidently smacks his wife Heidi during his concession speech in Indianapolis.
“I love each and every one of you,” Cruz said, addressing his supporters at the Crowne Plaza Downtown Union Station in Indianapolis, Ind., while suspending his presidential campaign.


It’s unclear if that statement applied to his wife of 15 years, after he elbowed her in the face during the on-stage trainwreck captured on camera.

Cruz ended his presidential campaign after a big loss to Donald Trump in Indiana.

VIEW GALLERY10 Things Ted Cruz Looks Like

The Goldman Sachs staffer apparently moved on from the accidental smackdown and joined a hug between her husband and father-in-law, Raphael Cruz.

Cruz called it quits on his White House bid after losing to New York billionaire Donald Trump 53% to 36% in Indiana.


Super Moderator
SNL brings back Dana Carvey as 'Church Lady' to interview Ted Cruz, Donald Trump doppelgangers
Sunday, May 8, 2016, 1:00 AM
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Dana Carvey reprises his role as Church Lady, who interviews "Ted Cruz" during an episode that aired May 7, 2016.

SNL to Ted Cruz: See you in Hell.

Comedian Dana Carvey reprised his role as the morally superior “Church Lady” to challenge the failed presidential candidate’s piety on “Saturday Night Live.”

The sketch comedy recruited the former castmember to probe Taran Killam’s Cruz on his next move after the senator from Texas dropped out of the White House race Tuesday.

Carvey kicked off an interview with the Cruz doppelganger by introducing him as a variation of former Speaker of the House John Boehner’s viral nickname for Cruz: Lucifer in the Flesh.

“Was it god’s plan to be humiliated by an orange mannequin?” Carvey’s Enid Strict asked Killam’s portrayal of the Southern Baptist.

Cruz’s second-place loss during the Indiana primary inspired a sobering talk between Cruz’s doppelganger and the talk show host after voters crowned Donald Trump the Republican pick for president.

Dana Carvey reprises his role as Church Lady in a skit showing Ted Cruz as a demon while Donald Trump and his wives look on during an episode that aired May 7, 2016.
SNL poked at Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump's messy desk hours after he spoke at a rally in Lynden, Wash.
Dana Carvey reprised his "Church Lady" role to parody Sen. Ted Cruz's foray toward evil after dropping out the White House race.
“Tell me, Ted Man Walking,” Carvey asked. “What are you going to do now?”

Instead of returning to rank-and-file duties in the nation’s Capital like Florida Sen. Marco Rubio did before him, the faux Cruz pitched a plan B.

“I have been thinking about turning evil for awhile — going to the Dark Side,” Killam said as Cruz. “I mean I have been told to go to hell so many times I think it’s finally time to check it out.”

The Church Lady then turned her focus to Darrell Hammond’s Trump, who returned to SNL at the tail end of the cold open to ponder the New York billionaire’s pick for vice president.

Trump may have earned an endorsement from the Church Lady, but he did not escape the Weekend Update crew.

Michael Che and Colin Jost analyzed Trump’s infamous “Taco Bowl” photo he tweeted, pointing out the ridiculous number of blueprints leaning against a wall, two Trump bobbleheads and a stack of newspapers under his Cinco de Mayo lunch.

Co-anchor Colin Jost calls Donald Trump the "Orange Menace" during the Weekend Update.
After nearly a year into Trump’s presidential campaign, the Weekend Update co-anchor also pondered how Trump managed to snag the Republican nomination.

“No matter how I say that, it still sounds less like a headline and more like the ominous beginning of a Star Wars movie,” Jost added.


Rising Star
BGOL Investor
source: CNN

How Ted Cruz helped get Dinesh D'Souza his presidential pardon

Washington (CNN)Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz played a key role in convincing President Donald Trump to pardon Dinesh D'Souza, a well-known conservative filmmaker and writer, who pleaded guilty to making illegal campaign donations in 2014.

According to D'Souza, it was Cruz who raised the issue with Trump and made D'Souza's pardoning a priority.

D'Souza told CNN in a phone interview Friday that roughly a month ago, he and his wife Debbie met with Ted and Heidi Cruz for dinner at the Cruz's home in Houston. It was at the dinner, that the issue came up and according to D'Souza, Cruz made it clear that he wanted to help D'Souza be pardoned.

"Ted Cruz said he had a strong conviction that I had been treated badly and unfairly and was determined to raise the issue with President Trump about me getting a pardon," D'Souza said.

After Cruz spoke to Trump about the issue, D'Souza said that Cruz called him and told him that the issue had been raised and Trump seemed receptive, but Cruz cautioned D'Souza that the process was not guaranteed and that the was a long review process still ahead.

D'Souza said he "cautiously" took it as good news.

A spokesman for Cruz told CNN that "we did raise it with them and we are happy they made the decision they did," however the spokesman declined to get into any details about the conversations surrounding the pardon.

Trump had told reporters Thursday that no one had asked him to pardon D'Souza

Thursday, Cruz celebrated via tweet.

"Bravo! @realDonaldTrump Dinesh was the subject of a political prosecution, brazenly targeted by the Obama administration bc of his political views. And he's a powerful voice for freedom, systematically dismantling the lies of the Left—which is why they hate him. This is Justice."

According to D'Souza, he and Cruz's relationship dates back to 2012 when D'Souza recalls that Cruz had rented out a movie theater to show his 2012 film about Obama, "2016: Obama's America," to supporters.

The relationship expands beyond the political to the personal.

In 2016, Cruz's father Rafael Cruz, a well-known preacher, married D'Souza and his wife Debbie.

"My wife Debbie is a life-long Texan," D'Souza said. "She is a native of Venezuela and she came to America at the age of 10. She has lived in Texas since then. She was the head of a large Republican club called Spirit of Freedom... in that capacity she knows a lot of the political figures in Texas. She has organized a lot of events that Ted Cruz has participated [in.] She is friends with Ted Cruz and politically well-connected in Texas."

D'Souza told CNN he was "elated and relieved" to be pardoned.

"I think I have come through it strong, and I've tried not to let my troubles deter me from speaking out on public issues," he said. "It is wonderful to have a full restoration of my rights and a full restoration of my American dream."

The conservative author and filmmaker pled guilty to violating federal campaign finance laws in 2014 after he was indicted earlier that year on charges that he illegally used straw donors to contribute to Republican Senate candidate Wendy Long in New York in 2012.

He previously accused Obama of adopting "the cause of anti-colonialism" from his Kenyan father. In a 2010 Forbes magazine cover story he also referred to Obama's father as a "philandering, inebriated African socialist, who raged against the world for denying him the realization of his anticolonial ambitions."


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Ted Cruz tries 'gotcha' question on Buttigieg at hearing… and fails MISERABLY