The Official BGOL " All About Women" Thread....

[Naha-Nago]

Fellas you dont need to sleep with a gang of women to "understand" women at all....all people can be judged by their choices within circumstances and attitudes....

its funny because I now have women throwing themselves at me, I could not even give a fuck unless I want to....

fellas I read a story in an old african history book that described the relationship between the first men and women who existed...the book said that the women would hunt down,mate with, and eat the men until one man decided that he wanted peace...my point is that women in alot of cultures were not described as all weak and shit..they were often powerful, especially over men who were afraid of them (madonna/whore complex) and men who couldnt control themselves....

which brings me to my next point, now I dont have the highest numbers or even high numbers (like most men, but many women cant say the same) but the value of self control is vital...there are some beasts out here that will eat you alive and they rely on your desire for validation ("I gets pussy nigga"etc) to control you...its a hustle...

I learned the hard way that, as men, if we were focused more on our own self development,values,principles,etc than we would have 75% less problems with women because women would be seen in context (ours and their own, via their choices)...I noticed how even if a woman is married she still wants another (desireable) mans desire...it boosts her ego...without that desire she has no choice and control/options...yeah women choose , but thats only if they are desired in the first place , which explains why alot of women try to force and bully men/attack their egos to accept their bullshit ("Im thick, not fat. Im strong and independent, your weak if you dont want me. You must like white girls,etc") and use "pussy rationing" mixed with his high desire to control him....

random shit

if a man has standards and many women dont meet them,or simply dont like them (or it turns them on, they want to "tame" him with their magic pussy) I noticed some women like to bully a man to lower his standards or try to get him to make himself invalid as a man

if some women have standards, she may go on abc news and talk shit about others, because she knows she cannot hide her bullshit behind her front from the men who know she is looking for captain sav a hoe....

some women dont like to hear what men think, unless they know they can take advantage of him, some women on this board, on youtube and other spots would not play the victim/avoid answering questions in real life if they were attracted to the men they met here...they would try to play the role and use his values against him...

women dont hate other women, they just smell their bullshit from a mile away because they are women. Ever brought a girl over to the fam and the women were like "sssshhhhhhiiiiiiiitttttt"? Its funny though because alot of times they are right, the woman in question aint shit...


most women who talk about what a "real man" is, will never be "real women"....

the feminist movement only revealed how some women think/act out here...the old saying "mommas baby,daddys maybe" bears witness to this

predators in the forest dont want to be seen, until it is too late....

some women who talk about "not judging her" for sleeping around are those predators...its funny b/c they blame men while its women who create and maintain that sexual stigma in order to have influence over the general male population...they know that most men would be happy with a nice supply of sex from a horny woman they are seeing....pimps know how to flip this...

fellas,

we will never have a tv special about our concerns outside of sports and entertainment, its important for us to keep our voices and minds because in america we are persona non grata...and the fact that alot of black women dont care while alot of us are simping says more about us, the women, and how we relate..

THANK YOU.


*two cents*

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

Single or settle?

Is there a time in life that all good women should stop playing the field and settle down with Mr Good Enough. Sex columnist Dorothy Black says bollocks to that...


Over this past week I've come to learn that I am very, very smart. Apparently women who drink red wine have more sex and – apparently – lots of sex is good for your brain and makes you smart.* Ergo: me + wine + sex = smart me.

I'm not generally good as such complex logicalising so I must be doing ok. However, I reckon I should enjoy this increased brain function for all its worth now because it's sure to wane after near three months sans sex. There's only so far wine and wanking can get you.

Ah. The life of the uncoupled thirty-something.

Actually, apart from the lack of sex on tap and missing out on all the yummy cosiness I don't mind the single thing so much. I mean, I don't think we're meant to be alone and cuddleless forever, but I usually muddle along quite well being single – party here, work there, try a boy here, try a boy there – with the assumption that I'll one day bump into someone really cool and that'll be that (whatever 'that' is). I call it the fate-driven pursuit of relationship happiness if you will.

But it seems, apparently, that time is against my smug belief in finding someone I actually really like.

Just as I was doing the whole 'yeah, yeah thirties are, like, TOTALLY the new TWENTIES', I found Lori Gottlieb's 'Marry Him!' article in The Atlantic. Then she wrote a book called Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. I didn't read it. The article was bad enough. The premise is, basically, that if you're in your 30s you shouldn't kid yourself that:

a) You'll actually find someone that makes your toes tingle/someone you love
b) You won't wake up in your late single, barren-wombed 30s desperate and longing for a husband and child
c) Marriage is anything more than a passionless partnership for the sake of raising children.

Awesome.

Lori seems to believe that marriage with children is the ultimate goal and that if you're to avoid the pitfalls of lonely spinsterhood, the best thing to do is stop being so picky and settle for someone – anyone it seems – to avoid the regret of looking back at all the men you could've had as husband fodder but didn't.

I don't have time for princesses with lists and lists of what the ideal man should look and act like. And by the sounds of things that's generally who Lori's referring to. But she just goes overboard with what anyone should accept. As in: 'Even if you get a cold shiver down your spine at the thought of embracing a certain guy, but you enjoy his company more than anyone else’s, is that settling or making an adult compromise?'

Shoo. Really? A cold shiver down your spine? I generally think of that as a very bad sign.

It's probably the first time I've started wondering about nearing the end of my marriageable shelf-life. I didn't think I was in last-chance saloon? Am I really deluded? (Lori seems to think so.) Should thirty-something women the world over find someone, anyone, to settle down with. Should thirty-something men?

A few weeks back I was at a restaurant opening and got to chatting with a Highly Eligible Bachelor (by Lori's standards this would be someone with a steady job and a sperm supply). I was surprised to hear the words 'marriage', 'children' and 'suburbia' be thrown into the conversation.

Turns out HEB is looking to settle down. On the hunt basically for wife material. 'It's time,' he said. I said: 'But my god, you're only 34!' (I say 'said' but it was more a horrified whine.) He said: 'I'm not getting any younger you know.' And then he added: 'Besides all my mates are married...so...'.

Gulp. I was gone in 60 milliseconds. When did peer pressure go from lighting up a fag to tightening up a nappy?

I'm clearly out of the loop here. And frankly this is where I'm happy to stay. I don't know what happily ever means, hell I don't even know what it means when a relationship 'works out' (is a relationship worked out when you get engaged? Get married? Is it worked out when you have kids?)... I've just always reckoned that when two people dig on each other their relationship is a constantly evolving process, not some means to an end.

Besides, I'm pretty sure there's not a guy out there that would like to think his wife or girlfriend has simply settled for him. Men are people too you know.

But this could all be foolish, idealistic banter by a woman who's brain is clearly going to rot from a lack of sex. Or maybe it's my hormones acting up in a fit of panic at my empty womb. Fortunately I'll be trawling dating sites for the next column. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll find a good husband shag.

* All verified by men in white coats I'm told.

http://www.women24.com/LoveAndSex/SinglesAndDating/Single-or-settle-20100831

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

The Top Ten Reasons Why It's Hard to Date a Black Woman by Matthew Lynch

Unlike black women who struggle against the current of the apparent man shortage, searching for eligible candidates is not an arduous task for black men, and never has been. Studies show that for every available man, there are at least seven single, willing and able Black women who are ready to be signed, sealed and delivered to the first derivable and desirable bachelor who crosses their path. Black men can just about have their pick when it comes to choices in the dating arena. Not to mention, online dating in the last 5 years has even widened their circle of choices to national and international possibilities. Still, fewer and fewer are choosing to date black women.

When observing the condition of our intimate interaction, African Americans are no longer interested in courting, dating or harvesting the patience essential in the process of selecting the appropriate partner for our lives. To piggy back off of that point, many of us men especially - in the African American community are slowly becoming more and more apathetic to concepts of relationships and marriage, let alone entertaining courtships with someone with the same color skin. Percentages of Black men and women dating outside their races have increased significantly over the last decade. More so now than ever, it has become more common to see a Black man with a white woman (or non-African American) on his arm. Though black women are no longer sitting around waiting on her black savior to come to his senses, as they have also begun testing the waters of alternative nationalities, the reasons as to why successful black men are not choosing black women once they reached the top remains a mystery. What is it about black women that compel black men to choose differently when it comes to dating?

As dating preferences should no longer be relevant in this day and time, conversations shared between men and women indicate that we as a race are puzzled to some degree as to why we are no longer interested in each other. Have we become bored? Is the sex more engaging with women who are not black? Are we intimidated by women who can take care of themselves and/or are we turned off by women who hold a strong sense of independence? Or is it something as simple as, interracial relationships provide for more amusing discussion over candlelight dinners or vacations to exotic resorts? Are we no longer going against the grain and finally succumbing to the innate intrigue of gravitating towards and attaining something that is different? Or are we running from self hatred that is mirrored in the eyes of our black women?

Recently, first-time filmmaker, Erik Gordon, held a screening of his documentary, Why Do Black Men Date White Women at the High Museum of Arts Hill Auditorium in Atlanta, Georgia. His angle was to pack up his camera and microphone, trek the streets of downtown Atlanta and boldly ask willing participants the question that became the title of his first film. Though much like this article, Gordon created this project to provide insight on what once was considered taboo, which has now become a social trend that no longer provokes reaction (other than a few disgruntled black women). Gordon explains, "It's basically keeping it real and addressing the stereotypes. It's a battle between the sexes within the race. It has to do with white women, but it's more about the bond between black men and black women." (Gordon is currently working on another documentary entitled, The Reality of Marriage).

It's not surprising that men have banned together in appreciation for the project that illustrates exactly why more brothers have been inclined to choose dating outside their race. To say the least, there were some women on the other hand who were not as receptive. "A lot of Black Men are Dumb" I think it's so funny when I see or read about these black male celebrities getting ripped off by these white women. They marry them, have kids, then in less than 2yrs the white woman is divorcing them, and walking off with half of everything like that wasn't her plan from jump street. And just to think, they call black women Gold Diggers," one female stated in response to Gordon's project. Another says, "My friend told me he dates white girls because they give no hassle and that they are more practical for him....PRACTICAL?!! Some black men are using white girls and its not fair on the white girls at all who think these black men actually like them" he said that getting a white girl is easy p^ssy," says another.

The list of possibilities in our search for understanding can go on forever. Thus, I conducted surveys with 5 African American males in efforts to dispel some of the negative myths created by Black women, and possibly gain true insight as to the lack of intimate camaraderie we have with them. The objective is to illustrate issues relating to our interaction or lack thereof - with black women, and not necessarily what white women do for black men that black women don't. Listed below are the top 10 out of 50 reasons why Black men find it hard to date Black women:

1. Black women make black men feel under appreciated, unwarranted and irresponsible and regressive.
2. Black women are too aggressive and no longer patient in waiting on the pursuit of a man.
3. Black women are strong headed, too independent which presents great challenges in relationships.
4. Black women are masculine in that they are controlling and like to run the relationship.
5. Black women expect too much. They are gold diggers who will not look twice at a blue collar black man.
6. Black women are hot headed and have bad attitudes.
7. Black women stop caring about their appearance after a certain age.
8. Black women are not as sexually open as other races, especially in regards to oral sex.
9. Black women's tolerance is far too low; they are no longer empathetic to the black man's struggle in white America.
10. Black women do not cater to their men.

Amid sharing these ten reasons with several Black women, some agreed to these assessments while others retorted (proving issue number 5) with negative connotation in their sentiments, placing blame on the opponent rather than listening and evaluating the dynamics that have prevented them from obtaining and maintaining relationships with their black men. Those women shared speculations such as: white women have low self esteem and are easy to manipulate; white women are nasty, take abuse and will do anything to keep a black man; white women are still considered trophies and black women considered big lipped, loud-mouthed jigga boos that hold black men back; black men are lazy and don't want to be responsible or held accountable for their lives, their children and their families; white women make it easy for them to escape.

Some were thankful for having heard the truth in answers that came from the mouths of men themselves, rather than the resentful loose-lipped, bitter and angry women who probably hold valid reasons for their singleness, which may have nothing at all to do with race. Though society may no longer flinch at the sight of a black man with a white woman, it is apparent that some women are still scarred by the neglect and oversight imparted by their counterparts.

In Why Black Men Date White Women (An explicit excision in sexual politics), Rajen Persaud speaks about the soiling of the black female and the sexual distance between us that was caused by the misappropriated mentalities introduced during slavery. "Throughout American history, the white male and Black females have had an open sexual relationship. Not consensual by any means, it was born out of rape, humility and control." He goes on to explain, "Without any rights, legal recourse or protection from the local or state authorities, a black woman could make no decision concerning anything that affected her life she was completely incapable of rejecting her master's wishes her alternatives were to do or die." Apparently, the devastation experienced by black slaves caused inertia amongst the male population; thus prompting a reduction in perceptions of royalty and motherhood into likes of derogatory notions amounting to nothing more than sexual brood mares used to increase the slave population. From the looks of it, the once fertile and revered impression of the Black Queen held by black men was devalued and has yet to be recovered.

Perhaps the problem really boils down to the fact that we no longer listen to one another. Dialogue must take place to gain better understanding of the pain that resides on both sides of the gender fence. There is large ground to be covered in the restoring of our relationships with one another if we are to preserve our people. We as humans have every right to exercise our preferences; however, we should really begin to stop and think about "the browning of our nation," as interracial children are being born every day. We are already losing the race in different aspects of society. The least we can do is work harder at congregating in love as man and woman. We should ponder if love really conquers all; even when we are on the verge of becoming an endangered species. It is, however, harshly possible that we may never be able to come together in harmonious attempts to survive as a race.

http://www.blackstate.com/dateblackwomen.html

 

[True Real Info]

http://www.women24.com/LoveAndSex/SinglesAndDating/Single-or-settle-20100831

some women who have no options pretend to be content with the fact that they cant choose from the men they want because they have no desire for her....

many women do that....believe that they are settling if all of their demands are not made....completely ignoring the fact that the man in question has a life/mind of his own.....and this is where the bullying comes in...make him a willing victim and act against his own self interest.....using shame,guilt,fear, ego attacks,etc,etc..

it also reveals that she believes a relationship is a one way street....all about her...run for the hills brothas....

 

[True Real Info]

http://www.blackstate.com/dateblackwomen.html

This to me is unwarranted and unnecessary, we dont have to explain anything to the women in question (some black women) because if they went, in mass, to white men many would parade it in our faces and we would either brush it off and keep moving or tell them to just leave us alone.....the more weak amongst us would be on some jealous type of shit and start trouble, misrepresenting the whole group in the eyes of many of the women since they tend to overestimate their desirability to black men..


if the women really cared, they would want to see us happy no matter who we are with....they would ask how can we be mutually fulfilled and explore ourselves before we get involved with another person...thats what black men are told to do ("you just picked the wrong girls",etc)...but the fact that they dont speaks volumes.....

 

[True Real Info]

alot of brothas are used to having our concerns ignored when we finally speak up and stand our ground we do it defensively instead of offensively..the women want us to be defensive because it makes us look guilty (most of us arent)...

 

[(0_0)..l.. finger]

Info, please keep going brotha, there is a lot of people reading and paying attention.

 

[True Real Info]

Info, please keep going brotha, there is a lot of people reading and paying attention.

well Im just listenin to older dudes and callin it how I see it...yall keep postin as well because, in my lurker days, bgol help me get out of the fog...im talkin bout years before the requirement to pay 10$

 

[jwilliam85]

13 Quotes About Life & Women
By Roosh (www.rooshv.com)


1. “Your wife has got to understand that no matter how much you love her, you’re a hunter, and your hunting is no threat to her. But no wife will ever understand that. No, no woman will ever understand her man.”
—The Book Of Laughter & Forgetting by Milan Kundera

2. “Don’t you see that a man’s whole personality is bound up with his income? His personality is his income. How can you be attractive to a girl when you’ve got not money? You can’t wear decent clothes, you can’t take her out to dinner or to the theatre or away for weekends, you can’t carry a cheery, interesting atmosphere with you. And it’s rot to say that kind of thing doesn’t matter. It does.”—Keep The Aspidistra Flying by George Orwell

3. “I am afriad that women appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their masters, all the same. They love being dominated.”
—The Picture Of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde

4. “The curious little talent that I happen to possess—the ability to hypnotize a woman with words—very seldom lets me down. It is not, of course, done only with words. The words themselves, the innocuous, superficial words, are spoken only by the mouth, whereas the real message, the improper and exciting promise, comes from all the limbs and organs of the body, and is transmitted through the eyes. More than that I cannot honestly tell you about how it is done. The point is that it works. It works like cantharides. I believe that I could sit down opposite the Pope’s wife, if he had one, and within fifteen minutes, were I to try hard enough, she would be leaning toward me over the table with her lips apart and her eyes glazed with desire. It is a minor talent, not a great one, but I am nonetheless thankful to have had it bestowed upon me, and I have done my best at all times to see that it has not been wasted.”—The Visitor by Roald Dahl

5. “At the time, I often thought that if I had had to live in the trunk of a dead tree, with nothing to do but look up at the sky flowering overhead, little by little I would have gotten used to it. I would have waited for birds to fly by or clouds to mingle, just as here I waited to see my lawyer’s ties and just as, in another world, I used to wait patiently until Saturday to hold Marie’s body in my arms. Now, as I think back on it, I wasn’t in a hollow tree trunk. There were others worse off than me. Anyway, it is one of Maman’s ideas, and she often repeated it, that after a while you could get used to anything.”—The Stranger by Albert Camus

6. “Words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish. And yet it also pleases me and seems right that what is of value and wisdom to one man seems nonsense to another.”—Siddhartha by Herman Hesse

7. “It happens quite easily that he only sees the thing that he is seeking; that he is unable to find anything, unable to absorb anything, because he is only thinking of the thing he is seeking, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: to have a goal; but finding means: to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal.”—Siddhartha by Herman Hesse

8. “I am, as you may have gathered, a fairly resilient fellow. I explode when provoked, but I never brood about it afterwards. I scrub it out. There’s always another day. What’s more, nothing stimulates my mind so much as a whopping disaster. In the aftermath, in that period of deadly calm and absolute silence that follows the tempest, my brain becomes exceedingly active. As I sat drinking my whiskey during that terrible evening amidst the ruins, I was already beginning to ponder and plan my future all over again.”—My Uncle Oswald by Roald Dahl

9. “Men make their own history, but they do not make it as they please; they do not make it under self-selected circumstances, but under circumstances existing already, given and transmitted from the past. The tradition of all dead generations weighs like an Alp on the brains of the living.”
—Karl Marx

10. “The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.”—The Picture Of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde

11. “And beneath his pessimism, his bleak conviction that all the machinery was rigged against him, at the bottom of his soul was a faith that he was going to outwit it, that by carefully watching the signs he was going to know when to dodge and be spared. It was fatalism with a loophole, and all you had to do to make it work was never miss a sign. Survival by coordination, as it were. The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but to those who can see it coming and jump aside. Like a frog evading a shillelagh in a midnight marsh.”—The Rum Diaries by Hunter S. Thompson

12. “Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.”
—The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

13. “Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there. It doesn’t matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.”—Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury


Bonus...

14. In the body of every mack/player/womanizer/ ladies man/rake lies the scorned heart of a romantic who learned the true nature of women the hard way...


*two cents*

Whoa

 

[True Real Info]

real women dont demand chivalry and all that shit...to women who do, its nothing but a means to maintain power and a mans desire...alot of men are not taught self control and self respect...its more important to be 100 with themselves and with the women as opposed to jumping through some hoops in hopes of getting some.....

women who get treated chivarly dont put themselvesi lifestyles or situations that would cause men to question their integrity...

this is why real hoes get respect (that doesnt mean trick, it means at least they arent lying) while fake hoes get checked and disrespected...

if women were not traditionally taught self control, they would be more randy than most men...see it on college campuses, all the girls fucking the same groups of dudes and its like that in most cities....most dudes aint gettin it like many women are...even the fat chicks...so when women complain about men, they are either talkin bout the same group of dudes, or their lack of options (once they get older and once they cant compete)

 

[True Real Info]

alot of dudes forget that women aint all bad, they are just more people.

problem is alot of dudes got this idealized notion of women in general (created and promoted women, ironically, for control purposes) and found it to be false...so reality sets in and alot of men are like "fuck it"

if anyone,especially a woman, puts a man in a no-win situation, its time to plan the exit

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

DR. BOYCE: Black Women Can’t Find Good Men? Oh Really?

I watched an ABC News special the other night featuring Steve Harvey, Jacque Reed, Sherri Shepherd and my homeboys Hill Harper and Jimi Izrael. The show covered a tried and true topic that is sure to get sky rocket ratings from the black community: The topic was, Why successful black women can’t find a good man. I am not going to risk bringing on the wrath of black women by saying things that some of them may not want to hear, but I have to be honest about what I saw. Let me just cut to the chase and lay the issues out one-by-one:

1) Why are black women taking relationship advice from Steve Harvey? Not to disrespect Steve’s ability to drop knowledge, but isn’t he a comedian? If we are taking relationship advice from a comedian and our relationship turns into a joke, who do we blame in the end? Bottom line – perhaps learning how to love another person means that after you put aside the book by the comedian, you should go out and buy a book by a relationship expert.

2) Most good women have little trouble getting married to decent men: One has to be skeptical of the beautiful, intelligent, fully capable woman who simply says that she can’t find a good man anywhere. Most women I know who are well-balanced and who also appreciate the idea of respecting men in the same way they would like to be respected have no trouble finding suitable mates. Sorry to break this to you, but the only constant variable in your relationships is a person called YOU. Rather than pointing the finger at the world, a bit more introspection might be called for: perhaps you have to reconsider your laundry list of expectations or wonder if you’re not doing a good job finding men who are open to commitment (it’s easy to find a man, just not easy to find a man who is willing to be with you and you only- maybe different types of men should not be held to the same standards). You may be fishing in the wrong ponds in the first place or using the wrong bait to catch the fish you’re bringing home.

3) If you want something bad enough, take a class: There are classes on relationships and marriage out there that don’t cost much money. If you are determined to be the best mate you can possibly be, it might make sense to take a class (not just the counseling you get from your pastor) that explains all the subtleties and challenges of being married. A relationship is not about a mate filling your long and detailed list of needs and expectations. The bottom line is that if you hope to receive more, you must first fully commit yourself to giving more. Some of us are taught that we should expect the world and not offer anything in return: that’s a perfect recipe for getting dumped.

4) Big mistake – always chasing the alpha male: I know a lot of “regular guys” who are unable to find a woman that is interested in being with them. This is especially true in their mid-twenties, when everyone is single and living fancy-free, with little expectation for long-term commitment. Some of the women these ”regular guys” are interested in are not paying them much attention, mainly because the woman has become enchanted with the dream-like alpha male: the guy who fits every single portion of the checklist (height, income, education, toe nail length, swag, etc.), but who may not be available for a monogamous, long-term relationship. What many women seem to forget is that there are some men who always have room for another woman on the roster. If you’re wasting all your time with the lying, cheating, super dog, you might miss out on the chance to be with the man who will love you forever and father all of your children. He may not come in the same package, and by comparing the two without considering the differences in what each of them offers, you may be passing up on your opportunity.

5) Relationships should not be a pissing contest: One of the by-products of many black children growing up in single parent homes is that their relationships become highly contentious. I once saw a neck swinging, energized woman say, “I need a man who can handle me!” What I wanted to tell her is that your man should not have to “handle” you as if you are a wild bull with his testicles sewn together. The act of love is a process of being open, feeling and sharing, not trying to dominate one another. So, if you need to be “handled” in your relationships, realize that you are likely going to only attract men who are mean, rough and insensitive enough to handle you effectively. Fighting and domination is not the same as love – let’s not get it twisted.

6) There’s nothing wrong with a few gender roles: Sherri Shepherd, during an especially volatile segment of the ABC News show, swung her hands around in the air saying, “I don’t have time to validate you every day!” – referring to the fact that she doesn’t feel that it’s her job to make her man feel good about himself on a regular basis. What’s interesting is that most women want their man to make them feel beautiful and to feel like a woman. So, why is it not acceptable for a man to expect his wife to make him feel like a man? A man doesn’t want to marry another guy – or rather, a woman who feels that any and all gender roles are an insult to her feminine independence, who expects the man to be willing to be regularly emasculated. It’s O.K. to make your man feel like he’s THE man, a king and a leader. A good man will surely return the favor and make you feel like a beautiful woman.

7) Let’s be real- many men aren’t as excited about marriage as women: As much as we want to believe that men grow up fantasizing about their wedding day the same way that many women do, the truth is that this is not the case. Many men see marriage as a frightening commitment that will cause them to be vilified for actions they can engage in without consequence when they are single (notice the millions of dollars that Shaquille O’neal and the rapper Nas have paid to get out of their marriages – every man gets petrified when he reads these stories). A woman who gets her husband is the one who makes the man WANT to be married: she let’s him feel free, strong, needed, loved and supported. While this may seem to be a primitive concept, the reality is that the reverse is true for sex: Men and women both want it, but men know they have to work just a little bit harder to “get some.” They’ve got to buy flowers, take the woman to dinner, and make her feel comfortable. It would be silly for a man to think that a woman should buy him flowers and beg him to have sex with her. The converse is true for marriage – where getting a man to overcome his anxiety is a great way to get him to give you what you want.

http://newsone.com/nation/boycewatkins/dr-boyce-black-women-cant-find-good-men-oh-really/

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

bump....

 

[mariano42]

http://newsone.com/nation/boycewatkins/dr-boyce-black-women-cant-find-good-men-oh-really/

number 4 is some real talk right there.



females only do it to themselves, then they get angry when they get dogged out.

 

[True Real Info]

I underestimated how deep the matriarchal shit goes in our community...I also underestimated the wherewithal of the men who still stand for themselves...

Its gotten to the point where alot of men adopt the phrases and quotes by women and actually measure themselves by what the woman says she wants...nothing is more damaging to his self...

I think it was gameboy who said that alot of women want their mans happiness to revolve around her....couldnt be more true....it gets more interesting in that if his happiness revolves around something else independent of herself, she has to consider his likes and wants....ie his humanity..

alot of women who demand "upper crust/higher status" men fail to ask themselves whether they are what interests that man, they ignore him as an individual and use him as a toy/prop to feed her ego...

most who demand those men are not attractive or interesting to those men......and the men get blamed for it..

the mind games/verbal contorting that a number of these women do is indicative of a sociopathic people....

most men, especially on this board, are taught to be self sacrificing and when they get shitted on they get upset...which is funny because the women are the ones who promote the self sacrificing but also blame the man when she shits on him...he is forced to deal with it on his on while she calls the whole world to its attention when she plays the victim of her bad choices ("you chose that no good dude" etc)...look at the black feminism and the government promotion of welfare (only if no man is present)...the brothas had said black was beautiful, formed original gangs meant to protect women and the community and basically gave of themselves (in aggregate) only to get shitted on as a group for some white womens movement that wasnt even historically valid to begin with....

womens concerns get promoted often, while a man is taught to ignore his own concerns, except when they benefit everyone else.....

civilization is built/legends are built on men being praised for doing (readerform) while women are praised for simply being (read:existing)....this can lead to codependency in its most ruthless form......romanticism...

women as a group were never oppressed by men....they just opted to stay home because the environment was unstable, violence was the norm, and men were at each others throats.....

some women used these men via covert prostitution to get the resources that these men fought for....

feminism and the belief of a mass patriarchy is nothing but projection on behalf of women who use men in the manner they claim they are being used...

 

[True Real Info]

I was reading this:

http://www.tulane.edu/~femtheory/journals/paper5.html

and its an excellent example of projection on her part...she mentions black liberation being based on black manhood as if men are stopping the women as opposed to sacrificing themselves, as in war men always get the short end of the stick....losing their life. It then goes on to describe the women as a victim of black men and the black family...

 

[True Real Info]

many women say they want a successful dude, but they want him on her own terms...if he is living his life on his own terms, and she cannot dictate to him how to live, she will try to chase and tame him, for her own benefit and play victim if she fails....

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I feel i am more qualified to speak on women than any male in this thread. A real woman wants what everyone else wants. They want to be happy. They want their children safe and cared for. They want them to have a chance in this world. They want a man to support and love. And give the same to them. They want someone they can respect and admire.

A real woman doesn't a thug or a gangster because she knows those guys aren't going to live very long. They're not going to be in the picture for very long. Either by their own accord or by outside forces. A real woman doesn't want a mealy mouthed coward either. See above where i said someone she can look up too.

A real woman doesn't want to be in charge. She doesn't want to be all powerful. That stuff is work that is against a woman's nature. Women are support. We're diagnostics, logistics. We're the heart and beat of the family and community. Women want leaders. We want a man who is take charge. Unafraid and just.

Fear alot of times makes a woman APPEAR like she's strong. But she's not. She's afraid and reacting out of that fear. She's afraid things will happen to her and those she loves, and she's afraid also for her males. She's afraid of losing her security.

Any of you guys ever been with a woman who you can't get down with unless, all the doors or locked? Does she wander the house checking things? Does she check on the kids? It's security above all else in this world a woman cherishes and is afraid of losing. A woman in her proper mind will do a great number of things RIGHT and WRONG to maintain her sense of security.

Many people understand this. Many in this under 40 generation do not.

Women combat 2 inner turmoils. Her instincts and her learned behavior. What she wants to happen, vs what WILL happen. Nature vs. Nurture all that crap.

I've seen in some posts where guys say women are followers. Yes. They are followers. That's what they're supposed to do. It's in them to do so. We're followers because it's the way we were designed to be. They way i seeit men are the spear head. They're the progenitors. They're the ones who get out there and meet things head on. Their support? Their driving force? Is the woman behind them.

Females in this day and age don't understand this, because society keeps trying to teach them they're not supposed to be this way. And this is completely false. This is completely WRONG. It flies in the face of all that is natural. Black women got told they were free and independent, and they had the right to have equal status to men. When we already DID. Balance was what we already HAD. You are the man, you go out you hunt, you kill, you put your life on the line for the family, for the village. And we women made it so when you got home to us we fed you and healed you.

That was the balance. That is EQUALITY. You can't make it without me. I can't make it without you. I'm not bred or designed to be a hunter. I'm a nurturer. This is what women WANT to do. You guys see it as oh she wants to control. No she doesn't. And if she says she does it's because she didn't know any other way to put it. The whites told her that's what it was and she believed that's what it was.

This is wrong. We don't want control over you. We do see the potential in black men. We know in our hearts what you're capable of. And we still stick to you to try to nurture that along. The question is asked why do females pick this or pick that. They pick it for any number of reasons but the base reason of all? She feels he'll take care of her. In some fashion. It's nature. It's how it is.

A real woman should know when a good thing comes along, but honestly if she turns a guy down who's a good guy? Maybe she knows in her heart that she's not good enough for him. I've seen this happen. If she knows she's not ready, why get involved with you and mess up both your lives? The same should go for a woman who wants to be with a guy.

I don't think a woman or a man sshould be with 1 another when neither of them are ready to settle down. This is why i don't like "talking" to each other. This is why i believe in dating. Courtship. You shouldn't "be" with anyone until you're 27 or 30. You're just nto ready. There's so much more LIFE to live. There's so much more things to do. This is a society based on foolishness and all around thrives on sorrow and mischief.

Women will make a foolish mistake based on something she percieved in a male, who just wasn't ready. Now she's saddled with that child for the rest of her life as a reminder of her foolish mistake. And she'll get mad at him. For decieving her. Which...she's wrong for. But over time hopefully she'll learn that. Many times a woman doesn't see things as clearly as she should.

Males want women to think like them. If we thought like males, we wouldn't want to be with you(I still don't see why they do lol). We think like women. Females. We have emotions and our emotions are different than yours. They effect us differently than males. This is 1 of the first things you should know.

Once again, we are equal. We're just equal in a different way. Where i am weak, you have to be strong. And vice versa. Any woman who wants a man to think like her? Is really a lesbian. That's just the truth to that right there. No woman who doesn't love women, wants a MAN who thinks like her. I never wanted my husband to think as i do. I just wanted him to understand it. I wanted him to see where i was coming from(and he did). He was a man, i am a woman. We're not the same. I have things clonking around in me that he doesn't have.

And i liked it that way! And vice versa. So all this, " a woman thinks like this and it's stupid blah blah" That's ridiculous. Of course sometimes it doesn't make sense to you. You're not really supposed to have it make sense. Just seek understanding from that woman you're with. You'll be a lot happier.

Real women understand that time is a funky thing. And a real woman understands that everything you have can be gone tomorrow. 1 day it's here the next it's gone. The desire for material things, is a sign that she's not secure. She doesn't feel secure. She doesn't feel safe. Remember we talked about security before? That's at the heart of just about everything she does.

Admittedly sometimes she backs the wrong pony. And nobody will kick her as much as she kicks herself once she realizes she's done this.

 

[(0_0)..l.. finger]

many women say they want a successful dude, but they want him on her own terms...if he is living his life on his own terms, and she cannot dictate to him how to live, she will try to chase and tame him, for her own benefit and play victim if she fails....

I will add more when I get home...

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

I will add more when I get home...

^^^------> Speak On it bruh !!

 

[Top_Bunk]

Don't feel like texting it from the black berry so someone take this and run with it. Most Women don't know how to handle a guy that is self respecting.

 

[Top_Bunk]

Bumpage

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

many women say they want a successful dude, but they want him on her own terms...if he is living his life on his own terms, and she cannot dictate to him how to live, she will try to chase and tame him, for her own benefit and play victim if she fails....

This the EXACT dilemma I'm faced with

 

[Llano]

I haven't read all the posts in this thread but I'll chime in a little on this topic. Now I'm not saying I'm the "Mack of the Year" nor am I the "ultimate Jedi" when it comes to dealing with women but at this stage in my life, I can confidently say that I'm hitting my stride .

I might not be saying anything new that hasn't already been said in this thread but the 1st thing cats must do before dealing with any woman is to know who they are, or as Socrates put it "Know thyself". Keeping it 100 with yourself will save you a lot of mishaps in the game. Your reputation and self image is everything so once that is built up, things will become more fluid. That's why it's important for us to to be clicking on all cylinders of our lives especially physically, mentally, financially and autonomously.

Secondly, cat's must know what type of woman they are dealing with. I've been a victim just like any other man of getting into a relationship with a woman I had no business getting in . For the sake of my post, I'll keep this directed towards black women because that's who I deal with and have the most attraction towards. I truly believe it takes a certain type of man to deal with a black woman because otherwise they'll eat a nigga for breakfast . From my experience the, the best way to deal with black women right from the beginning to the end is not to let any bullshit slide and not show too much emotion. I've been known to go hard at a chick (not physically) when a situation permits and I've been called everything from asshole to insensitive but at the end of the day I'm still respected by whomever chick I'm dealing with. When I say go hard at a chick I'm basically saying that I'm not giving in to any of their fairy tale views/demands that they usually trap simps with. Logic is your best defense when calling women out on their bullshit. Western society has truly fucked up the mindset of our women and have them thinking they can do whatever they feel towards us. I can't say that I fully blame them because a lot dudes have thrown up the flag on their manhood. Dudes have to treat women accordingly and throw that nice guy, Mr. Reliable, I'll do anything for the pussy gimmick out the window. On a related note, I know this is a porn board and I love poon like the next man but its a dam shame what some of you cats will say or do to get some ass from some of these women who's not really worth it (gain some dignity).



I could go on but I'm sure by now you get my drift when I say you have to develop the mindset that your not the one to stand for the BS and don't get all your emotions involved (I can't stress that enough). A lot of dudes like to trash black women as too toxic to mess with but I have to disagree. There are still some good ones out here and if a dude has his shit together and knows how to break down the facade that some of these chicks like to throw at us, you'll eventually see numbers turn your way.

Also, I want to recommend one book that really helped opened up my eyes, changed my level of interaction and dealings with black women:

I don't know if its been posted before but its a real good book that gives true insight.

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

bump.................

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Getting too quiet in here

 

[True Real Info]

another woman can give a man straight game when she has been done wrong by her female cohorts....just talk in terms of what they do to her and it will reveal alot..

many women bank on a mans desire to have and hold him and use him as she sees fit...the ultimate mind fuck is getting men to accept this position by overestimating her beauty and putting too much value on the pussy...thus giving her advantage..

there is a book calld "sexual surrender" or something like that, and in the book it talks about women who basically frigid...everyone is profiled, from the high achieving woman to the daddys girl to the slut bitch...and the common theme was a childhood episode, be it minor or major that put a psychological block in the woman to respond to her dude the way she was made to....

sexual liberation was all about women chasing after random dick instead of them chasing dudes who they could exploit for money....

black women are in a position to have great influence and power if they just give up the matriarchal stuff...underdeveloped men=underdeveloped society....

women hate each other, because they know the truth about each other...

beauty has been many a womans weapon of choice for millenia...only when it is rendered useless by right thinking can a man assess her for what she is...

women are just as capable as being intellectual as men, since they are clever enough to decieve many...its just that many women dont need to develop these capacities because they learn early on that a man would do it for them...

 

[True Real Info]

women are just as influenced by the hindbrain (hypergamy) as men are (polygamy) alot of women can fuck who and when they want.....alot of men can fuck only when they can....

the rub


women determine who they want to get ass, men determine who they want to marry.....so some women use pussy as a tool to trap a man into marriage,effectively making it a control issue....

alot of dudes are so wrapped up in their egos, they dont see when they are being played for fools...so they make fools of themselves...

if all men had some older dude to give them the real on women, most of the bs would not be happening these days....

many women only join conversations to dominate it and control it, not because they have anything useful to say....this is evident when they dont answer straight questions...

 

[True Real Info]

many women are not as emotional as they put on...especially the ones who claim so......they are actually colder and more ruthless.....

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

Info..speak on this "many women say they want a successful dude, but they want him on her own terms...if he is living his life on his own terms, and she cannot dictate to him how to live, she will try to chase and tame him, for her own benefit and play victim if she fails...."

 

[True Real Info]

Info..speak on this "many women say they want a successful dude, but they want him on her own terms...if he is living his life on his own terms, and she cannot dictate to him how to live, she will try to chase and tame him, for her own benefit and play victim if she fails...."

my father told me that, so did my uncles and women in my family...

it basically means that a number of women use their pussy to make demands on a man who has desire for it, ie bring me a house, car,etc...its pseudo-prostitution....

women also think with their egos like many men, its human nature...alot of women think they are the shit and that they can catch,trap and keep a man by just fucking him and playing house...we know its far from the truth....they especially like to do this to aggresive dudes (the "thug") or dudes that are desired by other women...

some women live to control men and are intimidated by a successful black man...that "men are intimidated by me" stuff is projection...a successful man has options and self control or else he would not be were he is...he also may not relate much to the woman in that he is on a whole nother level...alot of women resort to using pussy as a tool on these dudes if it works, and play victim if it dont...

they want a man with the trappings of success, as long as he is naive enough not to act on his own best interest and can be controlled by her via his own values and principles....or the ones she thinks he has...

 

[True Real Info]

^^^^^^^^^

A perfect example is the one where a woman rejects a man for a superficial reason....sees man years later, she has miles on her and he has his shit together...she wants him but he does not want her....then "he aint shit"...

or the black women who complain that the brothas are dating out too much, even though they didnt want most of those brothas before the "other" woman had him, ie the other woman saw something in him/may recieve something from him that the sista feels entitled to...but when black women date out its "something new" and "expanding options" as opposed to reactionary ego medicine...

 

[True Real Info]

Info..speak on this "many women say they want a successful dude, but they want him on her own terms...if he is living his life on his own terms, and she cannot dictate to him how to live, she will try to chase and tame him, for her own benefit and play victim if she fails...."

it goes back to the utilitarian mentality that alot of women have regarding men...if she cant use him then something is wrong with him or he is a bad person or he aint on her level....lol

men return this shit by betting their ego on pussy, looking to women for validation they didnt get as kids and so forth...we are just taught to hide it....

 

[True Real Info]

Exactly, like I've said, white men play by a different set of rules. Sistas have no issue marrying a white dude who looks like Bob Newhart. But would not marry the black equivalent of that. Bob Newhart doesn't have to be over 6ft, but Latrell does.

Ive seen this too many times....alot of women are superficial as hell which is why they are into shit that hides it....deep people dont have to convince others that they are so.....ie "im so emotional"....

 

[True Real Info]

if a woman did not want a man in the past...but now wants him...only to be upset that he does not want her....she does not want him, but what he can do for her...if she did she would be glad to see him happy...

the old saying "if mom is not happy nobody is" is fucked up, women who want control want a mans happiness to revolve around her while her....if anything else makes him happy then "something is wrong with him"lol, no something is wrong with you....reverse the roles and she would be planning her exit and justify it by playing the victim..