The Jumpoff Rules

[DLateshow]

I use to love jumpout chicks. The rules for me was I am not your man and you are not my women. I won't tell you my problems and I don't want to hear about yours. I come over and we have a few drinks, laugh and fuck. Afterwards one us bounce and were still cool. The key is for the chick to understand we are both getting the joy of sex. Once that rule is established we can both be straight.

Dlateshow and misses those days

 

[Robeson]

I use to love jumpout chicks. The rules for me was I am not your man and you are not my women. I won't tell you my problems and I don't want to hear about yours. I come over and we have a few drinks, laugh and fuck. Afterwards one us bounce and were still cool. The key is for the chick to understand we are both getting the joy of sex. Once that rule is established we can both be straight.

Dlateshow and misses those days

Now that makes sense to me. You come over laugh and fuck, and still be cool. I don't hear the fucking hostility and contempt that I hear in the other posts. It's like some cats are saying, "I want to show you how little I care about you" which is REALY fucked up and kinda sick. If you have a casual understanding with a woman- which we all have had- and express no intention of going any further, that is what it is. But obviously some of ya'll are kinda young if you think that you can repeatedly fuck a woman- I MEAN REALLY FUCK HER GOOD- and nobody will catch some feelings of somekind. Maybey ya'll are a new kinda playa that I'm not familiar with, but I kinda doubt it, because people will be fucking people until the end of time.

I don't give a fuck how many rules you make or read to her. And when she shows up on your damned job asking why you haven't called in two weeks, you read her the fucking jump off rules and get back with me on her resopnse.

 

[Mr.Still Fly]

1. ALWAYS have Condoms with you:You will feel kinda stupid, huh? All that time to convince her, and now….NOTHING! Don’t even think about sleeping with the person without protection. You don’t want to RISK your life for a few hours (if you’re lucky) of pleasure!

2. Do NOT give them your phone number:

The last think you need is a stalker on your back! You need to be fast and sneaky! The less you know about this person (and the less they know about you!) the better one night stand you will make.

3. They MUST be a stranger:

Well don’t mess with your friends! It will become more complicated in case you or the other one starts to have feelings.

4. Do NOT be drunk:

You don’t have to care if he or she is drunk, but you don’t have to be! Have you ever seen how an ugly face transforms into a beautiful one with a fifth of vodka?

5. Do NOT go to your place:

Are you insane? All that time you’ve been trying to hide by not giving your phone number, and you bring your flirt to your place? Wrong! A nice hotel will do the trick, if you like it outdoors, also not a problem. Just don’t go to some place familiar! There is a chance that you will never get rid of them afterwards.

6. Do NOT use your car:

A car is like a symbol! He or she will never forget it! You don’t want every time you’re parked outside a restaurant with someone else to see that person again running towards you! You are too old to be hiding under tables!

7. Do NOT eat anything weird before:

You want to spend some time with that person; not with the porcelain altar! So be careful of your choices. A good salad (without onions or garlic) will do great for that day. Remember: flatulence is NOT a turn-on.

8. Do NOT fall asleep:

You may awake and see an ugly face staring at you. Or even worst, a table full of breakfast ready for both of you to enjoy… Your identity will be exposed, since you were sleeping like a pig and he or she was searching through your stuff! You will also realize that this one night stand might have been a mistake, after all… so be sneaky: do your ninja moves, try to leave the place without anyone noticing.

9. Do NOT leave any tracks:

Be sure that you won’t leave anything behind when you leave! A T-shirt, a lighter, a pair of gloves, even your used protection will be enough for the other person to search the entire world to find you! Anything you will forget might be used against you - learn from all those CSI episodes you’ve spent so much time on!

10. Do NOT kiss them when you leave:

In case that you failed to do something of the above, this would be one huge mistake! That would mean something more than a simple One Night Stand!

 

[qseal00]

1) Don't have a single jump-off. Make sure they are involved.

2) Don't believe anything a jump-off says if they start getting clingy.

3) Stay strapped and stealthy. Use a fake name if possible. Don't bring wallet or phone in the jump-off location above all else.

4) If you are involved keep it out of the city you live in. Period. Somebody you know, knows your jump-off.

5) Bring your A-game, leave that sensitive shit at the door. We here to fuck.

6) Just look at the situation like a hooker you're on good terms with that you do not pay. Easy as cake.

 

[BRUCE LEROY]

The Jumpoff Rules
1) Clearly define rules in the beginning and reinforce throughout jumpoff.
2) Keep the sex passionate, but not intimate.
3) Only make a date if there is sex afterwards.
4) Don't introduce partner to family or friends.
5) Don't ask for non-sexual favors.
6) It's best to only have cell phone numbers.
7) Don't allow the other person to have your address.
8) Don't spend the nite.
9) Realize that all good things come to end so...enjoy it while it lasts.
10) When in doubt, refer to rule #1.

----------------------------
The World According to Bruce
​

 

[swiftandsilent]

Let me make sure I get this.. some of ya'll are fucking so much that you need a protocol to make sure neither party catches feelings for the other? Yet there was enough of a mutual attraction to bring you together to fuck... OK.. I will have to cross check this with the ladies, because the ninjas are just led around by their dicks: Is it just me, or does this seem just a little bit fucked up??? Maybe I guess because I'm a older than a lot of ya'll (40s), but I have the misfortune of kinda liking everybody I happen to fuck. Do I want all of them for a girlfriend? NO. But I mean, why fuck somebody I don't like unless I just straight up give them a couple of C's and be on my way?

Am I missing somethign?

YES YOU ARE MISSING SOMETHING



BUT IT'S OK

 

[DeSiRe]

if i am your jumpoff...and you are mine...here are the rules

1. do not kiss me in my mouth
2. if u cant last more than 15 minutes you will be cut from the team...no questions asked
3. dont ask me for anything else but sex....no food...no money..no holding cds ect..those benifits are included in another position on the team
4. YOU MUST WEAR A CONDOM
5. chronic unavalibilty when summoned will dismiss u from the team
6. do not ask me to meet u at a sleezy hotel
7. do not ask me if its yours...and other similar questions because i will tell the truth...and that will fuck up the mood
8. i wont tell u about my niggas...dont tell me about your females...i dont care
9. one call/text is sufficent...do not blow up my phone
10. i dont do creeps...i have a job...so dont call me for anything after 10pm

 

[Andeyhollawho]

if i am your jumpoff...and you are mine...here are the rules

1. do not kiss me in my mouth
2. if u cant last more than 15 minutes you will be cut from the team...no questions asked
3. dont ask me for anything else but sex....no food...no money..no holding cds ect..those benifits are included in another position on the team
4. YOU MUST WEAR A CONDOM
5. chronic unavalibilty when summoned will dismiss u from the team
6. do not ask me to meet u at a sleezy hotel
7. do not ask me if its yours...and other similar questions because i will tell the truth...and that will fuck up the mood
8. i wont tell u about my niggas...dont tell me about your females...i dont care
9. one call/text is sufficent...do not blow up my phone
10. i dont do creeps...i have a job...so dont call me for anything after 10pm

Check!

Now are these rules universal between mutual parties?

 

[Andeyhollawho]

I hate to say this but the only real way to have a true jump-off is to pay for it!

If it's good enough for you to set up "rules of engagment" then it's good enough to get you into a shitload of trouble. This is if you are in a relationship.

If you are not it can get you into even more trouble because the other person will see no need for you to have an excuse not to hit it off with them at the drop of a hat.

Even if it's just your I'm from Atlanta, but next time I'm in Memphis I'm fucking jump-off. Let her find out you are in Memphis and didn't hit her up! You feel me?

It's a relationship and should be handled like any other relationship. It should be nutured and cared for and considerate of the others feelings. And it should have distinct boundaries with no exceptions.

 

[YouLikeMyStyle]

To me, there are different 2 levels of jumpoffs. You have the ones like Fatsack said, then you have the ones where you can chill with the person on a social level and a sexual level, but you tell the female that you don't want a relationship.....

As far as me, I have no rules....I just go with the flow. No expectations, no regrets. If I have to put limitations on a relationship with a female, or if I see that her feelings may get deeper if we were to sleep with each other, then i'm better off not even going the sex route.

Co-sign on this. Most of my casual sexual relationship are with people I can chill with on a social level. To me, it makes the sex better if you're friends with the person somewhat.

 

[DeSiRe]

Check!

Now are these rules universal between mutual parties?

very much so...i cant expect someone to do something im not willing to do...ya dig

 

[SinaminDelite]

if i am your jumpoff...and you are mine...here are the rules

1. do not kiss me in my mouth
2. if u cant last more than 15 minutes you will be cut from the team...no questions asked
3. dont ask me for anything else but sex....no food...no money..no holding cds ect..those benifits are included in another position on the team
4. YOU MUST WEAR A CONDOM
5. chronic unavalibilty when summoned will dismiss u from the team
6. do not ask me to meet u at a sleezy hotel
7. do not ask me if its yours...and other similar questions because i will tell the truth...and that will fuck up the mood
8. i wont tell u about my niggas...dont tell me about your females...i dont care
9. one call/text is sufficent...do not blow up my phone
10. i dont do creeps...i have a job...so dont call me for anything after 10pm

 

[Andeyhollawho]

very much so...i cant expect someone to do something im not willing to do...ya dig

Women talk that but good dick change the rules real quick!

 

[Robeson]

YES YOU ARE MISSING SOMETHING



BUT IT'S OK

OK, educate me. Let me start off with the premise that I don't have to fuck somebody I don't like, or that lacks the maturity to misconstrue what is obviously a casual fuck. You take it from there...

 

[LeroyDibiase]

OK, educate me. Let me start off with the premise that I don't have to fuck somebody I don't like, or that lacks the maturity to misconstrue what is obviously a casual fuck. You take it from there...

HAHAHA, he tried to son you and he got reverse-sonned.

 

[Legrand]

Many of my male compadres complain that women who agree to or even initiate jumpoffs change the rules after sex.

Now I, myself, have caught feelings after a jumpoff but I know that an agreement is an agreement and I keep it moving.

But what are the jumpoff rules?

How do you establish them and when?

What happens if you (guy or girl) decide you want more after the rules have been established?

And what do you do when one of you decides you want to be more than a jumpoff?

Women Are Much More Emotional Than Men Are.New Study Shows That Women Release Hormones That Attach Them To A Man Emotionally Once They Engage In Joyfull Intercourse.This Same Hormone Is Supposedly Released When She Gives Birth To A Child.This Is Why It Is Usually The Women Who Want More Than To Just Be A Jump Off After The Sex.

 

[Izayoi]

Why participate in something called, a " Jumpoff ".

Is it ever good when you JUMP OFF anything, like a cliff!

I've been on both sides of the "jump off"

caught some feelings... she caught some feelings...

They NEVER seem to work out as planned go figure. So needless to say my sex is kinda exclusive now. Much better that way to me for both sides ya diiiiiig?!?

My roomie said the same thing about me and dudes situation. She hears all the stupid things I tell this man. I told him that two nights ago. I wasn't even trying to be funny... maybe that's why he looked at me sideways. He's the reason I go to the gym at 6 AM. I wake his ass up after sleeping for three hours, his clothes laid neatly on the edge of the bed, talking about, "I'm going to the gym, and you have 5 minutes to walk out this door." I toss his ass some baby wipes (no he doesn't even get a washcloth) and call it a day. He's been doing it for about two months now & I just snapped the other day. I got stories about his trifling ass

@ baby wipes and the stopwatch approach.

Ninja don't even get a cup of coffee huh? Sinn you are wild.

OK, educate me. Let me start off with the premise that I don't have to fuck somebody I don't like, or that lacks the maturity to misconstrue what is obviously a casual fuck. You take it from there...

Hmmm have to C/S that. Wanna fuck - sure! Spend the night- oh goody! Have breakfast- most certainly hope you like pancakes.Does it mean we are now engaged and going to get married, not at all. It seems rather simple that so many rules would not be necessary, but

 

[is300]

Many of my male compadres complain that women who agree to or even initiate jumpoffs change the rules after sex.

Now I, myself, have caught feelings after a jumpoff but I know that an agreement is an agreement and I keep it moving.

But what are the jumpoff rules?

How do you establish them and when?

What happens if you (guy or girl) decide you want more after the rules have been established?

And what do you do when one of you decides you want to be more than a jumpoff?

Only one rule Don't call us, we'll call you!!!

 

[cameo]

Many of my male compadres complain that women who agree to or even initiate jumpoffs change the rules after sex.

Now I, myself, have caught feelings after a jumpoff but I know that an agreement is an agreement and I keep it moving.

But what are the jumpoff rules?

How do you establish them and when?

What happens if you (guy or girl) decide you want more after the rules have been established?

And what do you do when one of you decides you want to be more than a jumpoff?

that's tough. A whole lot changes after a good fuck session, it confuses the situation because you DIDN'T know his dick was gonna be that good, you didn't know her pussy was gonna be that good, jump-off rules are tough. You gotta remember, jump-off sex is usually the bomb, because it could possible be a one time shot, so ego's are on the line. The unknown is what fucks up the whole "rules" thing. It's hard to follow ya rules, when the dick is 10 inches long, and thick, and every stroke got ya eyes rollin up in ya head, got you cummin harder than ever before. It's tough.

 

[Robeson]

that's tough. A whole lot changes after a good fuck session, it confuses the situation because you DIDN'T know his dick was gonna be that good, you didn't know her pussy was gonna be that good, jump-off rules are tough. You gotta remember, jump-off sex is usually the bomb, because it could possible be a one time shot, so ego's are on the line. The unknown is what fucks up the whole "rules" thing. It's hard to follow ya rules, when the dick is 10 inches long, and thick, and every stroke got ya eyes rollin up in ya head, got you cummin harder than ever before. It's tough.

Now maybe it's due a lack of my fuck acumen, but I have never had off the hook, just so fucking good sex on a one night stand. Good sex? Yup, Great sex? Maybe. Off the hook world class fuck session that leaves you talking to yourself for a week? From someone I meet in a bar or a club? Maybe I'm just not a superb dickologist (I consider myself one of the nastier fuckers), but no. I am eager to hear input from the male and female side. For me, I need a couple of sessions to find out where the buttons are (does she like her clit licked or sucked or both?). Once I do, she is fucking through. But this board is full of nothing but world class dicksmen who can look at chick and make her cum, so maybe I'm just out of my league...

 

[Chicutie]

that's tough. A whole lot changes after a good fuck session, it confuses the situation because you DIDN'T know his dick was gonna be that good, you didn't know her pussy was gonna be that good, jump-off rules are tough. You gotta remember, jump-off sex is usually the bomb, because it could possible be a one time shot, so ego's are on the line. The unknown is what fucks up the whole "rules" thing. It's hard to follow ya rules, when the dick is 10 inches long, and thick, and every stroke got ya eyes rollin up in ya head, got you cummin harder than ever before. It's tough.

that just made me burst out in laughter. . .

 

[Suicide]

I swear, I'm about to send this to the cut buddy, because he breaks Nos. 1, 5, 6, & 7 ALL the damn time. And got the nerve to look at me all crazy when I told him don't come over if sex ain't on the agenda. If I need someone to talk to, that's what the roomie and my cell phone is for. This ain't no bed and breakfast, homie bounce.



So true.

WOW! I never knew women like you existed. You have earned my utmost respect.

 

[owl]

I'm always tickled at how some of the most class conscious individuals will take a word that originates in the heart of the hood, and totally unravel it, place new meaning in it, and repackage it for the so-called elite(read: bougie)(Never get my stance wrong...) The term(...steps to the lectern, and sips from his glass of iced tap water...) actual refers to when dudes would talk a female into sex on the spot, usually in a gangway(alley, for you true suburbanites) or in a bed next to saids sister(place any close associate or family member in if you please) and well, JUMP OFF..possibly expecting a friend to follow behind...

(...sips slowly for dramatic effect...)

THERE ARE NO FEELINGS IN A JUMP-OFF!!!!

No calls afterward, no late night hook-ups, nothing...but that damn surreptitious one second glance you give each other when passing holding your respective mates hand....

 

[Robeson]

I'm always tickled at how some of the most class conscious individuals will take a word that originates in the heart of the hood, and totally unravel it, place new meaning in it, and repackage it for the so-called elite(read: bougie)(Never get my stance wrong...) The term(...steps to the lectern, and sips from his glass of iced tap water...) actual refers to when dudes would talk a female into sex on the spot, usually in a gangway(alley, for you true suburbanites) or in a bed next to saids sister(place any close associate or family member in if you please) and well, JUMP OFF..possibly expecting a friend to follow behind...

(...sips slowly for dramatic effect...)

THERE ARE NO FEELINGS IN A JUMP-OFF!!!!

No calls afterward, no late night hook-ups, nothing...but that damn surreptitious one second glance you give each other when passing holding your respective mates hand....

Of course this is the ultimate "to each his/her own" environment, but that just doesn't sound like a lot of fun. Maybe I lack a sense of adventure.

 

[king_country]

Yall left one thing out. Dont say u gonna come thru and then u dont. Me i'm the type of mofo that will pass up old pussy to get some new pussy. I always got a backup plan. But i hate when i hit a shawty up and she talkin bout I'm gonna come thru after da club or whatever and then neva show up. Let me know in advance so I can have my backup plan in effect.

 

[gogolplex12]

Now maybe it's due a lack of my fuck acumen, but I have never had off the hook, just so fucking good sex on a one night stand. Good sex? Yup, Great sex? Maybe. Off the hook world class fuck session that leaves you talking to yourself for a week? From someone I meet in a bar or a club? Maybe I'm just not a superb dickologist (I consider myself one of the nastier fuckers), but no. I am eager to hear input from the male and female side. For me, I need a couple of sessions to find out where the buttons are (does she like her clit licked or sucked or both?). Once I do, she is fucking through. But this board is full of nothing but world class dicksmen who can look at chick and make her cum, so maybe I'm just out of my league...

C/S!!! Real talk right here!

It gets better with practice

 

[owl]

Of course this is the ultimate "to each his/her own" environment, but that just doesn't sound like a lot of fun. Maybe I lack a sense of adventure.

That's true. I mean the topic itself as address by the ladies is not for everyone. I mean, people will kill, yes literally, over emotional games. Attempting to place rules on sex is similar to placing rules on a street fight, somebody is just not going to honor them...

 

[Robeson]

That's true. I mean the topic itself as address by the ladies is not for everyone. I mean, people will kill, yes literally, over emotional games. Attempting to place rules on sex is similar to placing rules on a street fight, somebody is just not going to honor them...

Great point. Also good clarification on the meaning of the term.

 

[DaleMabry]

Now maybe it's due a lack of my fuck acumen, but I have never had off the hook, just so fucking good sex on a one night stand. Good sex? Yup, Great sex? Maybe. Off the hook world class fuck session that leaves you talking to yourself for a week? From someone I meet in a bar or a club? Maybe I'm just not a superb dickologist (I consider myself one of the nastier fuckers), but no. I am eager to hear input from the male and female side. For me, I need a couple of sessions to find out where the buttons are (does she like her clit licked or sucked or both?). Once I do, she is fucking through. But this board is full of nothing but world class dicksmen who can look at chick and make her cum, so maybe I'm just out of my league...

I agree completely.

 

[SinaminDelite]

Now maybe it's due a lack of my fuck acumen, but I have never had off the hook, just so fucking good sex on a one night stand. Good sex? Yup, Great sex? Maybe. Off the hook world class fuck session that leaves you talking to yourself for a week? From someone I meet in a bar or a club? Maybe I'm just not a superb dickologist (I consider myself one of the nastier fuckers), but no. I am eager to hear input from the male and female side. For me, I need a couple of sessions to find out where the buttons are (does she like her clit licked or sucked or both?). Once I do, she is fucking through. But this board is full of nothing but world class dicksmen who can look at chick and make her cum, so maybe I'm just out of my league...

fuck acumen....