The Divorce, Custody, Visitation Reform Initiative Thread

[OnnaReal]

Re: The Power of the Black Father

Appreciate this post!

Would like truly positive fathers to create / join and initiative to make divorce/support/custody/visitation reform a reality.

If family is really that important to all of you, would you join me in lobbying for change that supports family.

• Make support an initiative to grow the separated family's wealth as a whole [make both mommy and daddy financially responsible for wealth development and ensure BOTH use vehicles for future wealth transfer to children].
• Former friend of my lived in the home of his divorced wife [in the basement] for more than 5 years to ensure his children continued to see him as "Daddy" for all of their formative years. Why can't custody and visitation place this kind of emphasis on family protection?
• Remove vultures like Jeffrey Levings from the divorce horizon forever. Provide a real vehicle to remove lawyers seeking only to profit from the destruction of a family. Search it out, Jeffrey Levings, the "father's rights" attorney represented a woman in chicago nearly killed by her husband during the divorce. While I'm sure the divorce work was not purely the sole factor that lead to this, what part did this attorney play in pissing off this man so much he attempted to "stab his wife in the head!"
• Mediation panel as a requirement! I say panel, because I've heard the stories of "mediators" that are just as prejudiced in breaking up families as the courts have been.
• Get off the theory that "Mom knows best", Dads are proving repeatedly and consistently they hold just as much affection for their children as moms do.
• ERASE "BABY_______" FROM OUR VERNACULAR IMMEDIATELY!!!
  In my view, nothing shows how much we devalue each other than to label each other as a "thing" that possesses my "things". We degrade in thought of the kids quickly from there.

As long as we are faced with financially reforming our country, we should take on morally refocusing our country as well. This, too, would have to happen outside of the cliches of the past [meaning a moral reform is NOT a religious right free reign of change, but a real recentering of what is right for all of us as a society].

Then, we can truly celebrate "Father's Day".

 

[QueEx]

<font size="3">
The post above was excerpted from "The Power of the Black Father"
thread and placed here to start a new thread on the reform of laws
relating to divorce, custody and visitation -- if you see that there is a
need for such reformation.

</font size>

QueEx

 

[QueEx]

Divorce, Custody & Visitation

to get things started . . .

Make support an initiative to grow the separated family's wealth as a whole [make both mommy and daddy financially responsible for wealth development and ensure BOTH use vehicles for future wealth transfer to children].

How ??? Explain this one and give some examples.

Former friend of my lived in the home of his divorced wife [in the basement] for more than 5 years to ensure his children continued to see him as "Daddy" for all of their formative years. Why can't custody and visitation place this kind of emphasis on family protection?

If he lived in the basement with children just above his head, why was custody/visitation even an issue ??? Almost uniformly, courts allow the non-custodial parent reasonable visitation which, in many cases, means the non-custodial parent has the children every other weekend, either Christmas or New Years, and at least 2 weeks during the summer.

What do you propose ???

Remove vultures like Jeffrey Levings from the divorce horizon forever. Provide a real vehicle to remove lawyers seeking only to profit from the destruction of a family. Search it out, Jeffrey Levings, the "father's rights" attorney represented a woman in chicago nearly killed by her husband during the divorce. While I'm sure the divorce work was not purely the sole factor that lead to this, what part did this attorney play in pissing off this man so much he attempted to "stab his wife in the head!"

Family law cases are some of the most hotly contested cases before the courts. The parties (both sides) usually have issues and their attorneys are hired to represent them and present those issues. I wouldn't dare say a lawyer is guilt-free in the process, but if the lawyer was representing you, I feel pretty certain that you would want your issues, whatever they may be, to be pursued aggressively. As I said, family law cases come with a lot of baggage and sometimes, spillover is inevitable.

Mediation panel as a requirement! I say panel, because I've heard the stories of "mediators" that are just as prejudiced in breaking up families as the courts have been.

If a mediator can be viewed as biased towards one party or the other; what makes you think a group of three (3) cannot be equally biased ??? Sure, three are more likely to have different opinions than one; but in domestic cases, if a mediator is trying to bring some resolution of hotly contested issues, isn't he or members of a panel likely to piss off one or the other party ??? Mediation is not "binding" -- just an attempt to resolve issues without costly, time consuming and bitter litigation.

Who pays for the panel ??? One or both of the parties; the government/taxpayers; who ???

Get off the theory that "Mom knows best", Dads are proving repeatedly and consistently they hold just as much affection for their children as moms do.

I agree here; but the mom's knows best is usually limited to the "Tender Years Doctrine" where there is a presumption that mothers are more fit to handle and care for very young children, especially babies. If, however, a father can demonstrate that he is as fit as the mother to deal with an infant, hey, more power to him.

How many you think want this; as oppose to dodging that responsibility all together ???

ERASE "BABY_______" FROM OUR VERNACULAR IMMEDIATELY!!!
In my view, nothing shows how much we devalue each other than to label each other as a "thing" that possesses my "things". We degrade in thought of the kids quickly from there.

Hell I agree; LOL -- but how do we do it ???

Child Support

You didn't say too much about this in your original post. What about it ???

Are men paying too much; not enough; what ???

What about women paying support to men having custody ???

What about men ducking out on the obligation ???

___________

QueEx