The 80/20 rule

[femmenoire]

Why do men, and women too, settle for 20%?

Why do some men go for just what a woman looks like and women for what a man can provide financially?

Doesn't it matter that she doesn't cook?
Doesn't it matter that he cheats?
Doesn't it matter that he/she is lazy?

Why aren't we happy with 80%?


BTW, I got this from a scene in Tyler Perry's "Why Did We Get Married?" where the male characters discuss the 80/20 rule.

 

[lilsexii]

For those who didn't see the movie...
The rule says that in marriage you will only get 80% of your needs met. An outsider may offer you the other 20%. If you take the 20% you may risk losing out on the 80% that you were getting and then you’re left with less than you had before.
Clip: http://www.blackfilm.com/20071005/features/wdigm_clip2.shtml

It made sense to me...

I really think it's why nice guys and nice girls get passed over and why females get all caught up with the no good, cheatin, broke baby daddies and dudes end up giving half to the gold diggin chick they married.

...but I'm curious to see what the dudes on the board think about it.

 

[thebxbomber]

man i wish i could find what you talking about!!!!!!
i think if given the opportunity women will do more dirt than men.... shit i know for a fact that women are waaaaaaaaaaay more nastier than men.... more manish than men.... bigger freaks than men......... women hold back on the pussy depending on the type a dude they wit......... "cant fuck him like that he might go crazy" .... that type of shit.....
heard it all day everyday @ wk.... the things that women think, say and do will never surprise me .....

 

[Harbinger]

Isn't it genetic? That whole hunter/gatherer thing? Men look for women who will bear strong, healthy children, which we identify by large breasts and hips? (or however it goes) And women look for providers to ensure the family will be taken care of?

But as we evolve, we should have developed a certain maturity that allows us to reason, and over-ride our base genetic programming. This tells us that the 80% is sufficient, and the twenty will get us in trouble.

But honestly, most everyone I've talked to that has cheated isn't getting their full 80. It's more around 50, not enough to leave, and not enough to stay faithful.

 

[bgbtylvr]

The reality is a simple one: women start out trying to fuck and getting fucked by who they think validates their looks or worth. I.e, men with money, cars or fame. After getting fucked over on the regular, pregnant, dumped, cheated on and ignored, they try to find one the nice guys they've ignored for years to rescue them from their own parental and financial misery. That ain't settling, that's called"Being a dumbass"

Men, on the other hand, start out fuckin lame ducks, chubby chicks, and young dumb chicks until the "ashy to classy" kicks in and hoes who would never speak to them before they could validate their income suddenly wanna holla. So, men settle in the beginning because it is all he can get. Women settle after misusing the pussy and it's power for years until irreversible harm is done and only a simp ass dude will take them and their baggage.

Moral of the story" Men start out nice until fucked over, and women start out mean until fucked over enough to wake up."

Knowledge courtesy of the book :Misinformation: The Female-Perptuated Myths About Men

 

[FIVEFIVE]

The reality is a simple one: women start out trying to fuck and getting fucked by who they think validates their looks or worth. I.e, men with money, cars or fame. After getting fucked over on the regular, pregnant, dumped, cheated on and ignored, they try to find one the nice guys they've ignored for years to rescue them from their own parental and financial misery. That ain't settling, that's called"Being a dumbass"

Men, on the other hand, start out fuckin lame ducks, chubby chicks, and young dumb chicks until the "ashy to classy" kicks in and hoes who would never speak to them before they could validate their income suddenly wanna holla. So, men settle in the beginning because it is all he can get. Women settle after misusing the pussy and it's power for years until irreversible harm is done and only a simp ass dude will take them and their baggage.

Moral of the story" Men start out nice until fucked over, and women start out mean until fucked over enough to wake up."

Knowledge courtesy of the book :Misinformation: The Female-Perptuated Myths About Men

WHOOOOoooo!!!!!!

CO-FUKIN-SIGN!!!

I dunno bout the moral tho....aint nobody innocent in this game here.

 

[FIVEFIVE]

Isn't it genetic? That whole hunter/gatherer thing? Men look for women who will bear strong, healthy children, which we identify by large breasts and hips? (or however it goes) And women look for providers to ensure the family will be taken care of?

But as we evolve, we should have developed a certain maturity that allows us to reason, and over-ride our base genetic programming. This tells us that the 80% is sufficient, and the twenty will get us in trouble.

But honestly, most everyone I've talked to that has cheated isn't getting their full 80. It's more around 50, not enough to leave, and not enough to stay faithful.

I keep saying.....

MONOGAMY IS A HOAX.

Humans arent BUILT for it. you cheat cuz you MUST.
MEN AND WOMEN.

and....REASON...is not a factor when we select sex partners....INSTINCT is.

 

[yekwol]

The reality is a simple one: women start out trying to fuck and getting fucked by who they think validates their looks or worth. I.e, men with money, cars or fame. After getting fucked over on the regular, pregnant, dumped, cheated on and ignored, they try to find one the nice guys they've ignored for years to rescue them from their own parental and financial misery. That ain't settling, that's called"Being a dumbass"

Men, on the other hand, start out fuckin lame ducks, chubby chicks, and young dumb chicks until the "ashy to classy" kicks in and hoes who would never speak to them before they could validate their income suddenly wanna holla. So, men settle in the beginning because it is all he can get. Women settle after misusing the pussy and it's power for years until irreversible harm is done and only a simp ass dude will take them and their baggage.

Moral of the story" Men start out nice until fucked over, and women start out mean until fucked over enough to wake up."

Knowledge courtesy of the book :Misinformation: The Female-Perptuated Myths About Men

Holy Jesus!!
End of discussion

 

[Harvard Blu]

The reality is a simple one: women start out trying to fuck and getting fucked by who they think validates their looks or worth. I.e, men with money, cars or fame. After getting fucked over on the regular, pregnant, dumped, cheated on and ignored, they try to find one the nice guys they've ignored for years to rescue them from their own parental and financial misery. That ain't settling, that's called"Being a dumbass"

Men, on the other hand, start out fuckin lame ducks, chubby chicks, and young dumb chicks until the "ashy to classy" kicks in and hoes who would never speak to them before they could validate their income suddenly wanna holla. So, men settle in the beginning because it is all he can get. Women settle after misusing the pussy and it's power for years until irreversible harm is done and only a simp ass dude will take them and their baggage.

Moral of the story" Men start out nice until fucked over, and women start out mean until fucked over enough to wake up."

Knowledge courtesy of the book :Misinformation: The Female-Perptuated Myths About Men

CHURCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[b0010100]

people settle for the 20% because they lack the will power and personal fortitude necessary to create the life they want. If you know your mind does not have control over you dick/pussy then you should not be married. No one makes the conscious decision to fuck up a marriage they want, they just don't possess marrying qualities. I hate to be the one to break it to ya'll but:
1. Not many people are marriage material.
2. No, there isn't someone for everyone(If you're fucked up in the head, you're just fucked up and no one can save you from whats going on in your head)

It doesn't make sense for you to aspire to be a wife/husband if you know you don't have it in you and you're not working daily to develop strong commitment skills. you're lying to yourself and playing a cruel joke on somebody you've duped into believing the lies you tell yourself. It's as ridiculous as me predicting that I will become the next great sumo wrestler in japan. I'm just not built that way, and I know I'm not putting in the work to make it happen. So why would I expect my self to be a world class sumo wrestler, fluent in Japanese, in the next 5 years?

Monogamy isn't a joke in itself, its just an idea, a great philosophical aspiration of many societies. It's only a joke when its promised by someone thats been a life-long whore.

Plain and simple.


*did you know people would go for 20% if they had 110%? Its called greed, and it runs in everybody's veins the only difference is whether you chose to control it or not.

 

[Imhotep]

The reality is a simple one: women start out trying to fuck and getting fucked by who they think validates their looks or worth. I.e, men with money, cars or fame. After getting fucked over on the regular, pregnant, dumped, cheated on and ignored, they try to find one the nice guys they've ignored for years to rescue them from their own parental and financial misery. That ain't settling, that's called"Being a dumbass"

Men, on the other hand, start out fuckin lame ducks, chubby chicks, and young dumb chicks until the "ashy to classy" kicks in and hoes who would never speak to them before they could validate their income suddenly wanna holla. So, men settle in the beginning because it is all he can get. Women settle after misusing the pussy and it's power for years until irreversible harm is done and only a simp ass dude will take them and their baggage.

Moral of the story" Men start out nice until fucked over, and women start out mean until fucked over enough to wake up."

Knowledge courtesy of the book :Misinformation: The Female-Perptuated Myths About Men

Officially broke down to its subatomic particles........................

 

[GAMETHEORY]

Erick Jerome dickey also had a book on that equation

 

[femmenoire]

this question is bullshit based upon the fact you only said "he cheats"......bitches have niggas thinking it's their kid for 16 years

It's a scenario hon.

 

[sexynbi976]

people settle for the 20% because they lack the will power and personal fortitude necessary to create the life they want. If you know your mind does not have control over you dick/pussy then you should not be married. No one makes the conscious decision to fuck up a marriage they want, they just don't possess marrying qualities. I hate to be the one to break it to ya'll but:
1. Not many people are marriage material.
2. No, there isn't someone for everyone(If you're fucked up in the head, you're just fucked up and no one can save you from whats going on in your head)

It doesn't make sense for you to aspire to be a wife/husband if you know you don't have it in you and you're not working daily to develop strong commitment skills. you're lying to yourself and playing a cruel joke on somebody you've duped into believing the lies you tell yourself. It's as ridiculous as me predicting that I will become the next great sumo wrestler in japan. I'm just not built that way, and I know I'm not putting in the work to make it happen. So why would I expect my self to be a world class sumo wrestler, fluent in Japanese, in the next 5 years?

Monogamy isn't a joke in itself, its just an idea, a great philosophical aspiration of many societies. It's only a joke when its promised by someone thats been a life-long whore.

Plain and simple.




*did you know people would go for 20% if they had 110%? Its called greed, and it runs in everybody's veins the only difference is whether you chose to control it or not.

CO-MUTHAFUCKIN SIGN...

 

[Harbinger]

I keep saying.....

MONOGAMY IS A HOAX.

Humans arent BUILT for it. you cheat cuz you MUST.
MEN AND WOMEN.

and....REASON...is not a factor when we select sex partners....INSTINCT is.

Monogamy is not a hoax, it's based on choices you make. You CHOOSE to cheat or stay faithful, whatever the reason.

And reason is the tool you use to make the choice.

 

[DaleMabry]

The reality is a simple one: women start out trying to fuck and getting fucked by who they think validates their looks or worth. I.e, men with money, cars or fame. After getting fucked over on the regular, pregnant, dumped, cheated on and ignored, they try to find one the nice guys they've ignored for years to rescue them from their own parental and financial misery. That ain't settling, that's called"Being a dumbass"

Men, on the other hand, start out fuckin lame ducks, chubby chicks, and young dumb chicks until the "ashy to classy" kicks in and hoes who would never speak to them before they could validate their income suddenly wanna holla. So, men settle in the beginning because it is all he can get. Women settle after misusing the pussy and it's power for years until irreversible harm is done and only a simp ass dude will take them and their baggage.

Moral of the story" Men start out nice until fucked over, and women start out mean until fucked over enough to wake up."

Knowledge courtesy of the book :Misinformation: The Female-Perptuated Myths About Men

BRILLIANT!!!!

 

[ClevelandDawg216]

The reality is a simple one: women start out trying to fuck and getting fucked by who they think validates their looks or worth. I.e, men with money, cars or fame. After getting fucked over on the regular, pregnant, dumped, cheated on and ignored, they try to find one the nice guys they've ignored for years to rescue them from their own parental and financial misery. That ain't settling, that's called"Being a dumbass"

Men, on the other hand, start out fuckin lame ducks, chubby chicks, and young dumb chicks until the "ashy to classy" kicks in and hoes who would never speak to them before they could validate their income suddenly wanna holla. So, men settle in the beginning because it is all he can get. Women settle after misusing the pussy and it's power for years until irreversible harm is done and only a simp ass dude will take them and their baggage.

Moral of the story" Men start out nice until fucked over, and women start out mean until fucked over enough to wake up."

Knowledge courtesy of the book :Misinformation: The Female-Perptuated Myths About Men

SHIT. case closed.

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

SHIT. case closed.

Exactly

 

[xfactor]

The reality is a simple one: women start out trying to fuck and getting fucked by who they think validates their looks or worth. I.e, men with money, cars or fame. After getting fucked over on the regular, pregnant, dumped, cheated on and ignored, they try to find one the nice guys they've ignored for years to rescue them from their own parental and financial misery. That ain't settling, that's called"Being a dumbass"

Your post would be much more accurate if you replaced women with slut and/or ho.

Men, on the other hand, start out fuckin lame ducks, chubby chicks, and young dumb chicks until the "ashy to classy" kicks in and hoes who would never speak to them before they could validate their income suddenly wanna holla. So, men settle in the beginning because it is all he can get.

It's a difference between settling for gettin some and settling for a relationship. Settling for the latter is a sign of being a true sucka.

Sluts settle after misusing the pussy and it's power for years until irreversible harm is done and only a simp ass dude will take them and their baggage.

If you read enough posts around the forum, it can easily distort the difference between a genuine, classy lady and a sleeze but there are plenty of grounded, mentally stable women out there that don't have to "settle" because they didnt get used up before turning 25.

 

[xfactor]

I keep saying.....

MONOGAMY IS A HOAX.

Humans arent BUILT for it. you cheat cuz you MUST.
MEN AND WOMEN.

and....REASON...is not a factor when we select sex partners....INSTINCT is.

Unless you were raped you always have a choice in choosing who to have or not have sex. Monogamy is about having discipline, self-control, and being loyal to your mate.

That being said, it's only cheating if you're married and if you are married and feel the need to go outside of it, you're stupid for getting married in the first place.

 

[DROOP]

Hey Femm I'm going through 80/20 right now. Its hard but I think my maturity is winning because I know the 20% is not worth it.

And monogamy is some BS yall!

 

[jedimasta]

Unless you were raped you always have a choice in choosing who to have or not have sex. Monogamy is about having discipline, self-control, and being loyal to your mate.

That being said, it's only cheating if you're married and if you are married and feel the need to go outside of it, you're stupid for getting married in the first place.

If it's only cheating when you're married, why bother having an actual relationship at all? Why not just get together and fuck (which is absolutely okay between two consenting, responsible adults) and save the pleasantries?

And if you cheat in a relationship because you're not married, how can you expect anyone to take you seriously or look at anyone else seriously? That's like saying it's only stealing if someone sees it.

I was under the impression that relationships were supposed to be the precursors to marriage, so if someone isn't acting right in a regular relationship why marry them?

I'm going to be single for a long time, society is all fucked up...

 

[DaleMabry]

I agree Jedi. Thought the same thing.

 

[dwnsouth]

as i sat in the theater watching the movie I pondered about the 80 once had.....but she was too big....and still is...despite how much it could change her life for the good.

we still talk to this day....but i refrain from the subject.


Irony,
yes i was sitting with the 20 but she was more like a 50 or 60 cause her only downfall was mood swings and attitude.

 

[superman2004]

The reality is a simple one: women start out trying to fuck and getting fucked by who they think validates their looks or worth. I.e, men with money, cars or fame. After getting fucked over on the regular, pregnant, dumped, cheated on and ignored, they try to find one the nice guys they've ignored for years to rescue them from their own parental and financial misery. That ain't settling, that's called"Being a dumbass"

Men, on the other hand, start out fuckin lame ducks, chubby chicks, and young dumb chicks until the "ashy to classy" kicks in and hoes who would never speak to them before they could validate their income suddenly wanna holla. So, men settle in the beginning because it is all he can get. Women settle after misusing the pussy and it's power for years until irreversible harm is done and only a simp ass dude will take them and their baggage.

Moral of the story" Men start out nice until fucked over, and women start out mean until fucked over enough to wake up."

Knowledge courtesy of the book :Misinformation: The Female-Perptuated Myths About Men

 

[sizzlelater]

as i sat in the theater watching the movie I pondered about the 80 once had.....but she was too big....and still is...despite how much it could change her life for the good.

we still talk to this day....but i refrain from the subject.


Irony,
yes i was sitting with the 20 but she was more like a 50 or 60 cause her only downfall was mood swings and attitude.

Can you live with the mood swings forever? i rather live comfortable then put up with attitude. that's why i gave up the 20%. i love peace.

I GUESS I'M GROWING UP

 

[Hey Julian!]

I'd say women settle more for the 20% ...or at least stick around longer with that said 20% person.
Remember that other rule "Men marry women hoping that they never change and Women marry men hoping that they do change"

 

[Izayoi]

I think there's a difference between settling and compromising. If you are seriously going to settle and knowingly enter into a union that will not satisfy you with a person you feel lukewarm at best about, then you get what you deserve.

 

[Crown&Coke]

I think there's a difference between settling and compromising. If you are seriously going to settle and knowingly enter into a union that will not satisfy you with a person you feel lukewarm at best about, then you get what you deserve.

Co-Sign. People that settle for a person that truly dont want to be with are always the ones that learn to love their spouse but never truly are happy.​

 

[DaleMabry]

I think there's a difference between settling and compromising. If you are seriously going to settle and knowingly enter into a union that will not satisfy you with a person you feel lukewarm at best about, then you get what you deserve.

Couldn't have said it any better myself.

 

[lilsexii]

I think there's a difference between settling and compromising. If you are seriously going to settle and knowingly enter into a union that will not satisfy you with a person you feel lukewarm at best about, then you get what you deserve.

I agree. But you ultimately have to accept someone for who they are - realizing that nobody's perfect and that 80% is pretty damn good. Don't dwell on the 20%. Just focus on the good stuff and the rest is negligible...

 

[xfactor]

If it's only cheating when you're married, why bother having an actual relationship at all? Why not just get together and fuck (which is absolutely okay between two consenting, responsible adults) and save the pleasantries?

And if you cheat in a relationship because you're not married, how can you expect anyone to take you seriously or look at anyone else seriously? That's like saying it's only stealing if someone sees it.

I was under the impression that relationships were supposed to be the precursors to marriage, so if someone isn't acting right in a regular relationship why marry them?

I'm going to be single for a long time, society is all fucked up...

Easy. You have the relationship to see if the woman you are with is worth being married to. If you feel that she is not and you break things off, that is the end of that. It may seem more complicated these days because people like to play house and/or have kids but if you're doing it the right way, nothing of value would be lost but time (and maybe feelings).

If you're legally married, I know kids like to use the term "wifey" and "hubby" now, then it's a lot more complicated to just up and leave.

Nothing is wrong with fuckin' around but it makes no sense to get in a monogamous relationship (or fool your girl into thinking she is in a monogamous relationship) when you KNOW you are going to fuck around.

 

[SuperGenius]

I think there's a difference between settling and compromising. If you are seriously going to settle and knowingly enter into a union that will not satisfy you with a person you feel lukewarm at best about, then you get what you deserve.

Agreed 100%!! That's why i'm still single cause I never settled for less, and I am sooooo glad that i'm not caught up being some woman's baby daddy!

The reality is a simple one: women start out trying to fuck and getting fucked by who they think validates their looks or worth. I.e, men with money, cars or fame. After getting fucked over on the regular, pregnant, dumped, cheated on and ignored, they try to find one the nice guys they've ignored for years to rescue them from their own parental and financial misery. That ain't settling, that's called"Being a dumbass"

Men, on the other hand, start out fuckin lame ducks, chubby chicks, and young dumb chicks until the "ashy to classy" kicks in and hoes who would never speak to them before they could validate their income suddenly wanna holla. So, men settle in the beginning because it is all he can get. Women settle after misusing the pussy and it's power for years until irreversible harm is done and only a simp ass dude will take them and their baggage.

Moral of the story" Men start out nice until fucked over, and women start out mean until fucked over enough to wake up."

Knowledge courtesy of the book :Misinformation: The Female-Perptuated Myths About Men

 

[Izayoi]

I agree. But you ultimately have to accept someone for who they are - realizing that nobody's perfect and that 80% is pretty damn good. Don't dwell on the 20%. Just focus on the good stuff and the rest is negligible...

I agree and to me accepting someone's flaws and annoyances (we all have them) is about compromise not settling. No grown up should even be seeking perfection in anyone in anyway. Settling to me is about being fearful- you're too scared to examine your needs (not wants- there's a difference), and too fearful that you won't find someone that fits them so you take whatever crumbs left on the table. If you forfeit personal satisfaction for a false sense of security then its going to be what it's going to be so don't cry about it later because nobody made you make that settling bitch move. Adults have CHOICES.

 

[sakinnuso]

people settle for the 20% because they lack the will power and personal fortitude necessary to create the life they want. If you know your mind does not have control over you dick/pussy then you should not be married. No one makes the conscious decision to fuck up a marriage they want, they just don't possess marrying qualities. I hate to be the one to break it to ya'll but:
1. Not many people are marriage material.
2. No, there isn't someone for everyone(If you're fucked up in the head, you're just fucked up and no one can save you from whats going on in your head)

It doesn't make sense for you to aspire to be a wife/husband if you know you don't have it in you and you're not working daily to develop strong commitment skills. you're lying to yourself and playing a cruel joke on somebody you've duped into believing the lies you tell yourself. It's as ridiculous as me predicting that I will become the next great sumo wrestler in japan. I'm just not built that way, and I know I'm not putting in the work to make it happen. So why would I expect my self to be a world class sumo wrestler, fluent in Japanese, in the next 5 years?

Monogamy isn't a joke in itself, its just an idea, a great philosophical aspiration of many societies. It's only a joke when its promised by someone thats been a life-long whore.

Plain and simple.


*did you know people would go for 20% if they had 110%? Its called greed, and it runs in everybody's veins the only difference is whether you chose to control it or not.

I remain an optimist and defend the idea of a monogamous marriage. This is the realest, and gets a hearty CO-Sign.