Steve Harvey's pimping a new book for women

[sean69]

And what do you say to Mrs. Upgrade? You be like Sean or do you be like mine? Say what you think?

I don't like this whole common sense thing to women. Men need common sense books.

I think a good spouse tells you what you need,

Ah ha!!!

Quick question. How come you don't buy a wrist watch for you wife as a present?

Whatchu talking about? Watch is one of the standby gifts.

Run outta time and snatch a watch with some diamonds in it.

Now you can't be trying to give her a swatch

Answer: because there's a clock on the stove.

 

[followup]

I would never say his talk is all wrong, that's what makes it attractive to so many. There are some real kernels of truth mixed in with the bullshit.
Nothing wrong with stroking your mate. When you don't, you open the door for someone who will. If you aren't lying to your mate, you don't love them.

letting that sink in

Just using the "does this dress make me look fat" example: you say "No" but then you throw in a "it's not my favorite dress though" or something like that that puts it on the dress, not her. Some people call that "couching" your words but it's still lying. That's a form of stroking your mate's ego (we're not still pretending it's just men with egos, are we?).

Well, then you should have just said, "I don't think that makes you look the best." Why put the 'no' in there if it really makes her fat. We are definitely honest with each other. Kindly honest, but honest all the same. The truth hurts sometimes, but I would rather hear it. As well we have a policy, don't ask if you may not like the answer I will give. It works. I love to stroke an ego, but not by lying.

*picks up mic*

See. That's that female Betty Crocker logic. I have no opinion on Steve Harvey's book because I haven't read the book and I have no intention of reading it. All 'm saying is keep it 100. If you tell your s/o every fucking thing that's on your mind and share every opinion when she asks ...

Quick question. How come you don't buy a wrist watch for you wife as a present?

*runs*

I don't know. Watches are like shoes to me. I think I have at least 7 right now, and I wouldn't mind a couple more with dials of different colors. but you don't have to say everything that's on your mind. If they ask you something, you can tell the truth very gently. Or if you have a suggestion you can make it in a kind way. "Baby, those shoes are loud", 'that lasagna would have been even better with a little more cheese'

 

[soulcontroller]

lol i spoke to the wife and she was like nah he'd never say it like that because he didn't think like that. He said those jeans, that dress is bad on you because your blah blah. Because in his mind, his way of thinking something else does fit you just fine. Wear that.

I think a good spouse tells you what you need, but gives you what you want and need. :smile: Mrs. Upgrade needs to come on here and share her bits about you lol. My hubb was brutally honest, but then we all are. I don't see how relationships exist without real honesty. I've heard that "i lie to you because i love you" stuff. And i've never wanted any part of it to be honest.

Had a chick tell me that just last week, smh. You can't lie to me and tell me you love ME. Because if you knew ME you'd know i want the truth. Always. Tell me what you really think of me. I don't want to live in some false assumptions.

He never pulled a punch. I miss my boobie.

And yeah no one ever does think that it's THEM that's being talked about. But in truth i always like when a woman "gets" it. Yes, it's YOU. You're the hoe,slut,freak,bad wife, that these people have been talking about. That bit of revelation is intoxicating.

sadly not every woman can handle the honest truth. If I dont like something that shit is written all over my face I cant even lie if I wanted to. Sometimes after telling the brutal truth to your woman and her getting upset over it. You would rather lie, but shit the truth hurts.

 

[sean69]

Well, then you should have just said, "I don't think that makes you look the best." Why put the 'no' in there if it really makes her fat. We are definitely honest with each other. Kindly honest, but honest all the same. The truth hurts sometimes, but I would rather hear it. As well we have a policy, don't ask if you may not like the answer I will give. It works. I love to stroke an ego, but not by lying.

I don't know. Watches are like shoes to me. I think I have at least 7 right now, and I wouldn't mind a couple more with dials of different colors. but you don't have to say everything that's on your mind. If they ask you something, you can tell the truth very gently. Or if you have a suggestion you can make it in a kind way. "Baby, those shoes are loud", 'that lasagna would have been even better with a little more cheese'

Nah. FUCK THAT!

 

[Upgrade Dave]

sadly not every woman can handle the honest truth. If I dont like something that shit is written all over my face I cant even lie if I wanted to. Sometimes after telling the brutal truth to your woman and her getting upset over it. You would rather lie, but shit the truth hurts.

Most of people can't. That's why people should learn how to communicate effectively instead of trying to uphold some artificial standard of "honesty". What ends up happening is your mate stops asking you what you think because they don't want that splash of cold water thrown in their face. "Don't ask me if you might not like the answer" is not communicating. It puts up a wall that doesn't need to be there.

 

[followup]

Most of people can't. That's why people should learn how to communicate effectively instead of trying to uphold some artificial standard of "honesty". What ends up happening is your mate stops asking you what you think because they don't want that splash of cold water thrown in their face. "Don't ask me if you might not like the answer" is not communicating. It puts up a wall that doesn't need to be there.

LOL @ telling the truth being 'artificial'. Anyway, keep on lying and when someone tells her/you the truth, enjoy the egg on your face I would argue that if your wife/husband does not ask you important questions, the trust is not there and it's a relationship built on distrust. I trust him completely, so when he gives me advice or his opinion I take it seriously.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

As well we have a policy, don't ask if you may not like the answer I will give. It works.

Or if you have a suggestion you can make it in a kind way. "Baby, those shoes are loud", 'that lasagna would have been even better with a little more cheese'

LOL @ telling the truth being 'artificial'. Anyway, keep on lying and when someone tells her/you the truth, enjoy the egg on your face I would argue that if your wife/husband does not ask you important questions, the trust is not there and it's a relationship built on distrust. I trust him completely, so when he gives me advice or his opinion I take it seriously.

I have no idea why you ladies, women of character and intelligence all, keep arguing with my points when you practice, by your own words, exactly what I'm saying.
Maybe I'm not choosing the words that make you feel comfortable.
That's why I used the word "artificial" because it is. No one is completely honest. When someone tells you they are, they're lying to you. People that are too honest usually are very lonely and rarely are they in long term, committed relationships.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I have no idea why you ladies, women of character and intelligence all, keep arguing with my points when you practice, by your own words, exactly what I'm saying.
Maybe I'm not choosing the words that make you feel comfortable.
That's why I used the word "artificial" because it is. No one is completely honest. When someone tells you they are, they're lying to you. People that are too honest usually are very lonely and rarely are they in long term, committed relationships.

I want to introduce you to my wife. I agree, MOST people aren't completely honest but lets talk about the levels here i guess should be the point. I will not abide lies in any form. Lying is a cancer. Some people are fine with living with cancer. Some are not. You lie about this? Odds are you'll lie about that. I've never lied to my husband or wife. That's part of the game. Who can be more honest actually.

I tell people this all the time, the key to HAPPINESS is for you to BE honest and your SPOUSE to ACCEPT honesty. If your spouse can't take the truth. CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! lol Pardon me i had to get my Nicholson on.

If your spouse can't handle it then why are you with them? Why are you tippy tapping around on eggshells worried about you saying something that will upset them all the time? Watching what you got to say? And if we're probably talking about women here.....Even though men are like this sexually i heard. You guys can't handle the truth either. Which is why so many women fake orgasms.....

But yes a woman if she knows she's not feeling her best and such, shouldn't go fishing for compliments if you can't handle the truth. Wanting your man to lie to you is complete and total bullshit.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

I want to introduce you to my wife. I agree, MOST people aren't completely honest but lets talk about the levels here i guess should be the point. I will not abide lies in any form. Lying is a cancer. Some people are fine with living with cancer. Some are not. You lie about this? Odds are you'll lie about that. I've never lied to my husband or wife. That's part of the game. Who can be more honest actually.

Who are these people?

If your spouse can't handle it then why are you with them? Why are you tippy tapping around on eggshells worried about you saying something that will upset them all the time? Watching what you got to say?

Who said that? It's not tiptoeing, it's knowing the difference between saying something that will uplift and build your partner or something that tears them down just so you can claim you're honest.

And if we're probably talking about women here.....Even though men are like this sexually i heard. You guys can't handle the truth either. Which is why so many women fake orgasms.....

Women that don't know how to talk to their man. Faking orgasms (also something not sex-exclusive) only hurts the person doing the lying. No man is going to be mad if his woman said "I like it like this or like that". Doing it like that means both of you will have a pleaurable experience. Now, you could always say "I never come when we have sex." That would be honest but you didn't achieve anything.

But yes a woman if she knows she's not feeling her best and such, shouldn't go fishing for compliments if you can't handle the truth. Wanting your man to lie to you is complete and total bullshit.

You may feel it is but it's perfectly natural and I know you're a big fan of being natural.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Who are these people?

People who live with lies. Lies are a cancer.

Who said that? It's not tiptoeing, it's knowing the difference between saying something that will uplift and build your partner or something that tears them down just so you can claim you're honest.

I hear ya. I call it tip toeing though.

Women that don't know how to talk to their man. Faking orgasms (also something not sex-exclusive) only hurts the person doing the lying. No man is going to be mad if his woman said "I like it like this or like that". Doing it like that means both of you will have a pleaurable experience. Now, you could always say "I never come when we have sex." That would be honest but you didn't achieve anything.

This is part of the lying i'm talking about. His dick is way to little and he doesn't please you. Don't fake it for 5 years. Tell him from jump. Work it out from jump. Don't live the lie.

You may feel it is but it's perfectly natural and I know you're a big fan of being natural.

I don't believe this is natural, i believe it's a learned behavior.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

People who live with lies. Lies are a cancer.

Cancer is cancer. I get you're being metaphoric but I think people are way too reckless with words and in effect, dilute them.

I hear ya. I call it tip toeing though.

You can call it that but that's not what it is. Not thinking about the effect the words you utter have on your partner is hugely selfish and short sighted, not things that contribute to healthy relationships.

This is part of the lying i'm talking about. His dick is way to little and he doesn't please you. Don't fake it for 5 years. Tell him from jump. Work it out from jump. Don't live the lie.

If it's a size problem, what's to work on? And once you say that, it's over.

I don't believe this is natural, i believe it's a learned behavior.

It's learned naturally by most adults that just because it's in your head does not mean it needs to come out of your mouth and since what a person says isn't always what the other person hears, thought should always go into what you say to your partner.

 

[mo_snitching]

Mostly black men were saying these things...and obviously he could have written a book about manning up and fatherhood like he always talks about on his show--but that wouldn't sell.

No it wouldn't sell. Just like if he were to tell women to pick better men and stop getting pregnant by ray ray and tyrone the mechanic that wouldnt sell amongest black women either.