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SOL I Need Some Advice.

DAHITMAN

DAHITMAN

Rising Star
I have been dating this girl off and on for about five years. I think she is a great person, she is very intelligent but the one thing that gets me nervous is that she wants to have children with me. But I keep reiterating that we are not emotionally, financially and established enough to have children. I have told her to finish her college degree and that I need to finish my schooling and that I want to goto business school so that I can start m own business. But she keeps asking to make babies and I don't know why is that. It is starting make me think twice about this female. Why is she so infatuated with having kids. And what should I do. Please help Femme.
 
Damn, I have the same problem. My girl keeps doing the same thing. I'm thinking of leaving her though, becuase if I can't take care of myself, how the hell am I going to do with a family. it could be that I'm nervous to have an 18 year commitment, but shit. I don't know. These economic times are a bit too hard for women to be thinking about having babies and shit
 
PainInDAss said:
Damn, I have the same problem. My girl keeps doing the same thing. I'm thinking of leaving her though, becuase if I can't take care of myself, how the hell am I going to do with a family. it could be that I'm nervous to have an 18 year commitment, but shit. I don't know. These economic times are a bit too hard for women to be thinking about having babies and shit
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Man I thought I was in this boat alone.
I think maybe she has some issues what do you think?
 
DAHITMAN said:
Man I thought I was in this boat alone.
I think maybe she has some issues what do you think?
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it could be, think about her family, man, my girl's family is pretty cool, but she was raised by her grandmother and her dad is around, but her moms was on some other level. She'd lost a child before so maybe that's what's going on. she's also a Virgo and I have a friend that told me Virgos are family-oriented . I think, though, that if I marry her, I'd be more stable, business-wise, becuase I won't have to worry about dating. I won't be distracted while going to school becuase I'd have my wife, but now, I guess i'm just nervous about having a baby. But she's been pushing me for a while, and yeah, we've been together for since 2003, so that's why I thought it was so familiar.


I'd ask her why. Like sit her down and ask her. My girl lost a child through miscarriage so that explains her wanting to fill that void, but if I were you I'd ask your girl. Communication is Key in a relationship.

my 2 cents. Good luck
 
y'all need to leave them womenfolk alone....


get your shit together then let the possibility of all that enter your mind.....

the worst thing in the world is resenting a woman for putting you in that situation later on down the line because you couldn't accomplish your goals for the sake of raising a kid too early.
 
Da Don said:
y'all need to leave them womenfolk alone....


get your shit together then let the possibility of all that enter your mind.....

the worst thing in the world is resenting a woman for putting you in that situation later on down the line because you couldn't accomplish your goals for the sake of raising a kid too early.
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Yeah, my boy told me the same thing a couple years ago
 
your boy has great wisdom....

i would not have gotten anywhere if i had to stop and support kids...
 
It is a normal desire for women to want children. Our biological clocks are always ticking when we are of child bearing age. If you've been with her for a while, and she believes you would be a great dad for her kids then you should be flattered. Don't leave a woman because she is feeling what most childless women feel. Her desire to have children is God given, so why resent her for it. What you have to do is just convince her to wait until you two are established both financially and emotionally. You cannot be selfish once you have children. Everything cannot be about you. If you are at a place in your life where everything is about you then you definitely don't need children. When you are ready to have children choose their mother wisely. Find someone who is mature, responsible and has good values. Life can become hell on earth when you have to co-parent with a lunatic.
 
Dude u been fucking with her for 5 yrs!!! Of course she's gonna want to have kids with you. Either piss or get off the pot because with or without your consent, she's gonna get pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then you'll be one of those bro's on here crying about child support. If there's one lesson in life every man should know it's that if a woman wants to get pregnant, she will. nRemember the story posted on here where the chic gave a dude a bj but didn't swallow and inserted it in her? Greg Minor who played in the NBA used a condom she thru it a way(wink) she put that shit in the freezer and fuck him up! Either end it now or get married. You can't be rational when it comes to a woman who WANTS to have youor kid.
 
bgque12 said:
Dude u been fucking with her for 5 yrs!!! Of course she's gonna want to have kids with you. Either piss or get off the pot because with or without your consent, she's gonna get pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then you'll be one of those bro's on here crying about child support. If there's one lesson in life every man should know it's that if a woman wants to get pregnant, she will. nRemember the story posted on here where the chic gave a dude a bj but didn't swallow and inserted it in her? Greg Minor who played in the NBA used a condom she thru it a way(wink) she put that shit in the freezer and fuck him up! Either end it now or get married. You can't be rational when it comes to a woman who WANTS to have youor kid.
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HARSH ... but I've kinda gotta agree ... my boy was with his girl for like 7 years ... for like the last 2 of those years she kept complaining about wanting kids ... when she realized he wasn't bout it she dumped him and got married to some random guy and now they have a kid ... :eek:I know ... the difference between men and women is she's probably looking at it like you've been together for so long so what's the next step while you're like I'm still stacking my paper ... even though I'm female I can relate to your point of view cuz it's the more rational ... you need to weigh out your options and decide if she's the one or not ... if she is sit her down and talk to her ... maybe all she needs to hear is that you do want to have her as the mother of your child but just not now ... give her a time frame maybe ... if she's not the one then move on ... but no matter what happens ... no matter what she says or does ... DO NOT HAVE A BABY WITH HER IF YOU ARE NOT MENTALLY READY ... THAT SHIT'LL FUCK YOU UP ... FOREVER
 
bgque12 said:
Dude u been fucking with her for 5 yrs!!! Of course she's gonna want to have kids with you. Either piss or get off the pot because with or without your consent, she's gonna get pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then you'll be one of those bro's on here crying about child support. If there's one lesson in life every man should know it's that if a woman wants to get pregnant, she will. nRemember the story posted on here where the chic gave a dude a bj but didn't swallow and inserted it in her? Greg Minor who played in the NBA used a condom she thru it a way(wink) she put that shit in the freezer and fuck him up! Either end it now or get married. You can't be rational when it comes to a woman who WANTS to have youor kid.
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I'm wit this on the level of understanding she may want the money you show promise to make -- but not you! Kids guarantee access to the money [and it's so sad to hear women that speak to each other this way as a reality for thier lives].

See if she talks about the pretty babies you two made from her side of the courtroom when asking for support!

If you are not absolutely SURE this is your wife, RUUUNNNN!!

PS. Real life: Sitting in the car dealership convincing someone they can't afford a new car.

Dealer asks; "Do you get support?"
No.
"Don't worry, my kids are grown and gone and my ex is retired. My support payments come out of his retirement checks! Just wait, you'll get it!"


 
Some women's facination of having kids and getting married before you both are ready fucks up alot of relationships....You need to lay down the law, and if she can't accept that you want the both of you to be established before bringing a child into this world, then due to her own selfishness and narrow mindedness....bounce. Save yourself.
 
Dump her.

You're trying to accomplish too much to be held down by having kids.
I don't doubt that she's a good woman, but right now she an obstacle in the way of your success.

My words are harsh, but they ring truth.
 
SuperGenius said:
Some women's facination of having kids and getting married before you both are ready fucks up alot of relationships....You need to lay down the law, and if she can't accept that you want the both of you to be established before bringing a child into this world, then due to her own selfishness and narrow mindedness....bounce. Save yourself.
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C/S. Its always about choices. You seem clear that career and school are your choices, she seems clear that family is hers. The two of you just may not be able to bridge that gap at this time so let it go and let her do what she needs to do for happiness and you yours. No need to create unnecessary hardship for either one of you.- and it is totally selfish to think you can be badgered into being a daddy :smh:
 
Bruh, don't have no Babies while you're in school. Like Lonestar said, if she wanna have a baby, she gonna have it. run for the hills playa. get yourself established before you even think of having kids. and besides, you gotta a sure as you can possibly be that you want to stay with this woman. rasing children at a distance, i.e. you don't live in the same house with them, is difficult as hell. I mean, it's doable but, who wants to? You and her both need to establish yourselves financially somewhat before you start thinking about kids. Imma tell you what'll kill you early on after the baby is born. DAYCARE!!!!!!!!!!! that shit is expensive as hell. eitherone of two things could happen. either you can't afford to send the baby to daycare, which means somebody can't work so they can stay home with the baby. now that puts you down to one income. or you HAVE to send them to daycare and since you can't really afford it, it's like somebody's working for nothing. (meaning you can't get ahead 'cause you can barely survive because of daycare. starting a family is a huuuuge decision. take the time to make the right one.
 
I wrote a song about it like to hear it here it go...

[flash]http://www.youtube.com/v/fVXHdHzTR44&rel=1[/flash]

:cool:

Some women just want children. Be flattered that she picked you to be thier father, but leave it at that. Unless you plan to marry her don't do it. And if you plan to marry her then why not do that first. :cool:
 
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