Socially retarded

[dHustla]

Here lately, I had 2 different people in my life, that don't know each other, tell me I was "socially retarded".

I'm slowly realizing that they are right.

I'll be back in here with some stories and situations, but for now I wanna hear from y'all... what have you experienced, first hand or witnessed, that was socially retarded?

What has someone said that was socially retarded?

I'm not talking about dimwit shit, or people being naive. I'm talking about people's beliefs being throwed off by past experiences or bad upbringing.

 

[DeSiRe]

what made u think they were correct?

 

[dHustla]

what made u think they were correct?

well....good question, first off. A few things indicated they may be right.

My inability to sustain a relationship, intimate or otherwise, even so far as having regular male friends, etc. was one clue.

My blatant disregard for others' feelings, which had been brought to my attention before, but I reacted with a "it still don't matter " attitude, and didn't realize exactly what people were trying to tell me. Essentially, I wasn't interacting with people well, I wasn't listening to blatant or indirect messages.

I've gotten better, I had to accept that I'm socially retarded and then apply myself towards getting better. Start paying closer attention to body language, start being more attentive to peoples' tone when they say stuff, etc.

I am/was not able to fathom the possibility of someone genuinely caring for me.... and when they attempted to show me that they cared, their actions were met with the "disregard for others' feelings", see above. This drove Spelman away, that's what I call her, search the main board for that story.

I deal(t) with everything on a need only basis with no room for wants. For instance, I needed to hustle to make tuition money.... I didn't need to spend time with a girl that appreciated me, even though I should have wanted to and probably did want to.

I would neglect my wants for my needs....excessively. To the point where I didn't do anything for pleasure, only for necessity. I realize now that all people need balance in everything.

 

[melonpecan]

You are not socially retarded.

You sound internally selfish.



The first step is recognizing. Now you just need to put it into practice. Maybe if you start to give a little more than you think you have and be a little more open you'll see what I mean.

 

[dHustla]

I don't think selfish is the right term.

Whatever it is, it's learned behavior from being in a negative environment and around people that don't mean me well.

I cut some people off and started a legit hustle in order to be around more people that are conducive to my growth, are going in the same direction and people that genuinely mean me well.

 

[melonpecan]

I don't think selfish is the right term.

Whatever it is, it's learned behavior from being in a negative environment and around people that don't mean me well.

I cut some people off and started a legit hustle in order to be around more people that are conducive to my growth, are going in the same direction and people that genuinely mean me well.

Which in turn can make a person selfish. If people don't mean you well, you tend not to look out for the other and look out for the self. Believe me I understand, for years I thought my mother didn't love me. Then I found out she was...guess what?

Selfish.

 

[dHustla]

Which in turn can make a person selfish. If people don't mean you well, you tend not to look out for the other and look out for the self. Believe me I understand, for years I thought my mother didn't love me. Then I found out she was...guess what?

Selfish.

Hmm... interesting. This may apply

 

[melonpecan]

Another term I come into contact with a lot is socially inept. I see it a lot on Korean Dramas.

Your actual feelings come across as something totally different, making people not want to get close...or you not being able to get close to a person because you don't know how so you shun everyone...I think you really just need to get real stripped and let it come to you...

 

[doggish_098]

only child?

home schooled?

 

[dHustla]

Here lately, I had 2 different people in my life, that don't know each other, tell me I was "socially retarded".

I'm slowly realizing that they are right.

I'll be back in here with some stories and situations, but for now I wanna hear from y'all... what have you experienced, first hand or witnessed, that was socially retarded?

What has someone said that was socially retarded?

I'm not talking about dimwit shit, or people being naive. I'm talking about people's beliefs being throwed off by past experiences or bad upbringing.

...

 

[dHustla]

only child?

home schooled?

No.

Nigga!

 

[DeSiRe]

You are not socially retarded.

You sound internally selfish.



The first step is recognizing. Now you just need to put it into practice. Maybe if you start to give a little more than you think you have and be a little more open you'll see what I mean.

i think ur on point

theres a difference between being self centered and socially awkward or retarded...

i was watching the ocd project and one of the guys had social issues...odd speech pattern...awkward or inappropriate statements...weird gestures...all that...and the dr basically diagnosed him with autism...at the age of 30 something...aside from the ocd...he was an living a independent life up until that point

ur right hes going in the right direction by recognizing the issue

maybe u should see a therapist...maybe theres more going on...not saying u may have autism like that guy...but maybe theres something going on preventing u from connecting to people

 

[dHustla]

i think ur on point

theres a difference between being self centered and socially awkward or retarded...

i was watching the ocd project and one of the guys had social issues...odd speech pattern...awkward or inappropriate statements...weird gestures...all that...and the dr basically diagnosed him with autism...at the age of 30 something...aside from the ocd...he was an living a independent life up until that point

ur right hes going in the right direction by recognizing the issue

maybe u should see a therapist...maybe theres more going on...not saying u may have autism like that guy...but maybe theres something going on preventing u from connecting to people

Now I'm self centered? And autistic?

damn

 

[sirrcharrles]

The term is "Introvert". Socially, you will find it hard to get along with people.

 

[dHustla]

The term is "Introvert". Socially, you will find it hard to get along with people.

Y'all know whats really funny... I'm the life of the party sometimes.. I can't understand it myself.


I went to my homeboy's house before his wedding day and the bride's crew was there, all of 'em fine & pretty, we were drinking wine, then the groom's people from out of town came through.... we had a ball.

The next event I couldn't make it and they were asking about me.

But close relationships ....

I don't/didn't have no respect for other people's feelings. I know partly because I felt like nobody ever cared about mine. Shid, I didn't care about my own feelings, I would put my own wants & desires on the backburner, and shrugged when others wondered why.

Life has taught me that feelings come and go like the wind... they should never matter enough to even be considered.


We talking about me, y'all a bunch of regular Dr. Phils, huh?

Talk about y'all's own experiences, whether your own or somebody you know.

 

[sirrcharrles]

Definitely different levels, my wife is the same way. Can be the life of the party and have fun, but I sometime have to act a fool sometimes when it come to one on one. She has done extensive research on the topic.

 

[dHustla]

Definitely different levels, my wife is the same way. Can be the life of the party and have fun, but I sometime have to act a fool sometimes when it come to one on one. She has done extensive research on the topic.

what you mean by "have to act a fool when it come to one on one?"

She be trying you? or just saying the wrong stuff? or at the wrong time?

 

[sirrcharrles]

what you mean by "have to act a fool when it come to one on one?"

She be trying you? or just saying the wrong stuff? or at the wrong time?

Goes into bouts of extreme selfishness! Don't get me wrong she is respectful, but shit all women will try their man in order to test their dominance.

 

[DeSiRe]

Now I'm self centered? And autistic?

damn

i never said i thought u was autistic

Y'all know whats really funny... I'm the life of the party sometimes.. I can't understand it myself.


I went to my homeboy's house before his wedding day and the bride's crew was there, all of 'em fine & pretty, we were drinking wine, then the groom's people from out of town came through.... we had a ball.

The next event I couldn't make it and they were asking about me.

But close relationships ....

I don't/didn't have no respect for other people's feelings. I know partly because I felt like nobody ever cared about mine. Shid, I didn't care about my own feelings, I would put my own wants & desires on the backburner, and shrugged when others wondered why.

Life has taught me that feelings come and go like the wind... they should never matter enough to even be considered.


We talking about me, y'all a bunch of regular Dr. Phils, huh?

Talk about y'all's own experiences, whether your own or somebody you know.

i dont think ur case is as rare as u think

u be surprised how many outgoing charismatic people who prefer to be loners

our society is so text/stadus update friendly....we dont communicate face to face like we used to...and i think that has a large effect on how meaningful relationships are created and maintained

i can feel alot of what u are talking about..

sometimes i dont feel like being bothered...other times im a social butterfly


i can strike up a conversation with a strange...but i do have issues maintaining close relationships

i attribute alot of that with moving around alot as a kid....growing up everytime i got close to someone we moved...and it helped me cope just to forget them and move on

 

[dHustla]

i never said i thought u was autistic

But I am self-centered, huh?

I dont think ur case is as rare as u think

u be surprised how many outgoing charismatic people who prefer to be loners

our society is so text/stadus update friendly....we dont communicate face to face like we used to...and i think that has a large effect on how meaningful relationships are created and maintained

i can feel alot of what u are talking about..

sometimes i dont feel like being bothered...other times im a social butterfly


i can strike up a conversation with a strange...but i do have issues maintaining close relationships

i attribute alot of that with moving around alot as a kid....growing up everytime i got close to someone we moved...and it helped me cope just to forget them and move on

that's why you stank

 

[dHustla]

You are not socially retarded.

You sound internally selfish.



The first step is recognizing. Now you just need to put it into practice. Maybe if you start to give a little more than you think you have and be a little more open you'll see what I mean.

That sounds good, but me opening up and giving more will result in what if I still haven't ridded myself of all the negative people.

Which in turn can make a person selfish. If people don't mean you well, you tend not to look out for the other and look out for the self. Believe me I understand, for years I thought my mother didn't love me. Then I found out she was...guess what?

Selfish.

It's like a cancer, selfishness. It spreads from one person to another boy by way of me, and usually unbeknownst to the recipient.

People make it hard for me to cut the cancer out of my life when I'm in need of their help and they use it as an opportunity to service their own agenda. Conditional help aint really help.....is it?

And these people are kin

My solution would be, and has been in the past, to never need them for shit. If homeless, be prepared to sleep on the street (done it before) before receiving their help.

Its my fault, though. I let myself fall off.