And if so, would you let your spouse know of your past if you want to keep the friendship?
Should former lovers remain friends if one of them gets married?
- Thread starter femmenoire
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that's really hard to do, especially if you've been fucking each other. Sexual feelings die the hardest. I know, I still have ex-girlfriends that got married, that would let me fuck em, but Cameo don't do married women, not my style, ..........NO MATTER HOW FINE ! If the reltionship was deep, I would recommend space. Too much risk, ...........the "what if" factor is a bitch, live and let live, wish them well, and let them move on. My grandmother told me, "baby Dee, sometimes .............even the things we love the most.......................are the things we have to love enough........ to let go of it ! Reason why I ain't married now, I loved her enough, not to give her any doubt about her decision to get married. I really wanted her too, but I was so........
too deep for me !
too deep for me !
Hell no, fuck no...what 
when it's over, it's over!!!!!For one reason and one reason only:
MEMORIES!!!
Who wants there significant other to keep in touch with the cat/chick that was previously with???
All the history!!! All that sharing!!!
ALL THAT FUCKIN'!!!
For one reason and one reason only:
MEMORIES!!!
Who wants there significant other to keep in touch with the cat/chick that was previously with???
All the history!!! All that sharing!!!
ALL THAT FUCKIN'!!!
Well what if you got married and you were still friends with an old lover? Would you just cut the ties?
For one reason and one reason only:
MEMORIES!!!
But sometimes things have run their course and their really is no romantic memory lane lingering feelings. I love my ex. He is my best friend, my family in more ways than my blood in some respects. We will always have that, if we wanted things to continue to be romantic then our relationship would have worked out. It didn't. So there's nothing to reminisce about or feel lingering lust or sadness. It is what it is.
please ! I've fucked some real winners body wise, and I'D FUCK UM AGAIN, .......if they weren't married !
Hell no, fuck no...what when it's over, it's over!!!!!For one reason and one reason only:
MEMORIES!!!
Who wants there significant other to keep in touch with the cat/chick that they was previously with???
All that history!!! All that sharing!!!
ALL THAT FUCKIN'!!!
U cannot tell me that you would be comfortable with your spouse being cool with the last one or last one before the last that they were with.
Now...can men and women be friends? Yes...but....not if they got some sex history involved...And if the both of you get married and have kids, so what? There is always a potential for that to take place again.
Call it insecure...call it whatever you want, but hell no, fuck no!
Here is a question:
Why take that chance? We got enuff shit that can strain a relationship, why bring the old shit in too???
Speaking for me...I cannot share the same space with a cat that knows what my woman looks like
feels likeand tastes likeNow...if there is A child involved...My chick better work it out like bizness...no sentiments involved
I got caught like that years ago and like the Jews say, "Never again!"
Done...Stay Black
GET ME THE FUCKIN' SCISSORS!!!!!In all seriousness, there is potential for trouble...even if it does not exist...you are asking for it...If you want to move on with this other person, leave that old shit alone!!!!
Again, no one on this board has answered my question:
Why take a chance???
Why?
Ok Cam I see how you get down. I'm a bit more restrained son. I see your point.
I got caught like that years ago and like the Jews say, "Never again!"
Done...Stay Black
I have not had a problem having a congenial non-sexual casual friendship with my ex's. Did they still want to hit- sure! But I knew my boundaries and they respected it and the man I was with. I'm not the jealous type. If a ninja is going to cheat he can do that with a stranger or an ex. I'm not going to worry about "what if" If I find out something shady that's his ass, but I'm not going to take responsibility or stress on me for someone else's poor decisions.
I can also see your viewpoint. Those are your boundaries and if you let a woman know that upfront and she wants to be with you then hey she has to play that your way.
Bottomline you have to RESPECT your spouse/significant other. I don't feel like its disrespect to keep in touch with an ex, but that's me.
All I can say is. It happens. Good or bad.
I'm doing it with a woman.
But IMO. My wife can have three male friends.
Her Father, her brother, and me.
I'm doing it with a woman.
But IMO. My wife can have three male friends.
Her Father, her brother, and me.
I have not had a problem having a congenial non-sexual casual friendship with my ex's. Did they still want to hit- sure! But I knew my boundaries and they respected it and the man I was with. I'm not the jealous type. If a ninja is going to cheat he can do that with a stranger or an ex. I'm not going to worry about "what if" If I find out something shady that's his ass, but I'm not going to take responsibility or stress on me for someone else's poor decisions.
I can also see your viewpoint. Those are your boundaries and if you let a woman know that upfront and she wants to be with you then hey she has to play that your way.
Bottomline you have to RESPECT your spouse/significant other. I don't feel like its disrespect to keep in touch with an ex, but that's me.
And I can dig where you are coming from...If a muthafucker is gonna fuck around, a muthafucker is gonna fuck around...Strange or not...BUT...when you lay shit done...at the end of the day, you know that in your heart you did what you could to prevent dumb shit from happin'...
PLUS...All of us men know, that a woman loves it when we lay down the law...Now, I am not taking macho bullshit...I am talking about taking the lead as a man...Not that Bruce Jenner shit on the Kardashian's...Husband is head of the household and we ain't standing for no bullshit like that...There are tons of women out there that her ex can get a hold of...Advise homeboy to follow that path, 'cause this one right 'ere ninja, right 'ere ninja, has ended!!!
Stay Black!
somebody here is looking for justification to fuck a married man.
LOL
But this a good question. I wanted to post about this topic, cause I'm kinda going through a similar situation.
I have not had a problem having a congenial non-sexual casual friendship with my ex's. Did they still want to hit- sure! But I knew my boundaries and they respected it and the man I was with. I'm not the jealous type. If a ninja is going to cheat he can do that with a stranger or an ex. I'm not going to worry about "what if" If I find out something shady that's his ass, but I'm not going to take responsibility or stress on me for someone else's poor decisions.
I can also see your viewpoint. Those are your boundaries and if you let a woman know that upfront and she wants to be with you then hey she has to play that your way.
Bottomline you have to RESPECT your spouse/significant other. I don't feel like its disrespect to keep in touch with an ex, but that's me.
I lays the fuckin wood on the ass, I respect marriage, I have never fucked a married woman, ( if I have, she did not tell me) . I don't fuck married women, but some of my ex-booties, ............man, I've fucked some Joi Ryda, Meagan Good lookin women. That's who I want, MEAGAN GOOD !
I would say no also, especially if the woman I'm marrying objects to it, then I would have to respect her wishes on that. To me the past is the past, and the only thing you should bring from that are the memories...
I posted this in response to something cocobeauty said.
I'm celibate so I'm not fucking any man, married or otherwise.
Those are my feelings exactly
It ain't fear, it's FACT!!!
I have been that cat on the other end of the phone...the other side of the bed.
I usta pride myself of knocking off the next man's girl...ESPECIALLY if we had dealings in the past. I would get those calls of, "he don't eat pussy like you did." Or he don't sex me like we usta. C'mon!
I do not get down like that now!
Married? No.
Have a significant other? No.
Just seeing somebody and waiting to see where it goes?
Yes. That translates to "there is a potential for u hitting this outta the park, if u play your cards right."
Now, there are exceptions and I have experienced that as well. But my comments come from EXPERIENCE...no fear.
The potential is just too great. It's nice to hedge your bets.
I guess to each his own.
Done.
I have been that cat on the other end of the phone...the other side of the bed.
I usta pride myself of knocking off the next man's girl...ESPECIALLY if we had dealings in the past. I would get those calls of, "he don't eat pussy like you did." Or he don't sex me like we usta. C'mon!
I do not get down like that now!
Married? No.
Have a significant other? No.
Just seeing somebody and waiting to see where it goes?
Yes. That translates to "there is a potential for u hitting this outta the park, if u play your cards right."Now, there are exceptions and I have experienced that as well. But my comments come from EXPERIENCE...no fear.
The potential is just too great. It's nice to hedge your bets.
I guess to each his own.
Done.
It ain't fear, it's FACT!!!
I have been that cat on the other end of the phone...the other side of the bed.
I usta pride myself of knocking off the next man's girl...ESPECIALLY if we had dealings in the past. I would get those calls of, "he don't eat pussy like you did." Or he don't sex me like we usta. C'mon!
I do not get down like that now!
.
I can see then Invic why you feel so strongly. I don't know if you believe in Karma (I do) so yeah I feel you wanting to draw the line in the sand. I've had a different experience- my ex kept in casual contact with a few of his and 2 of those women actually became pretty good acquaintances of mine. I met my best girl friend that way- she used to date the dude I was fucking and he introduced us. He was a sorry ninja so I ditched him, but kept her and that girl has walked through fire for me over and over again- not a fake bitch, a REAL friend. I keep in contact with maybe 2 men that I dated; when they come to town we have lunch and go our seperate ways. No chillin at the Holiday Inn, no footsie under the table and we don't talk fuck moments. It's mainly "hey how's the family, how's the job, what's new etc etc." They know my intentions are clean and whether theirs are or not, nothing is popping off like that unless BOTH of us are on some bullshit.
Like you said to each his own. I'm not going to try to build an invisible fence around a man's dick. He's either going to do right or do wrong either way. Choices, bra. It always come back to that.
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My woman of almost 3 years is friends with her ex.
At first, I had the thoughts of "damn, this dude has seen my girl naked, and has probably taught her some of the shit she does with me." I'm not going to lie, I still have those thoughts sometimes, but dude and me are cool. We kick it, drink together, hang out, throw down on some fighting games -- it's whatever. That shit between them was over 5 years ago. I'm cool with it.
BUT... The motherfucker she was seeing before we hooked up started calling a good year into our relationship, asking how she's doing, saying shit like "Oh, I heard you messing with some dude that stays in the apt building as your cousin (which I do)... He drives this type of car, he looks like this, that the other..." On some old stalking ME type of shit. I was infuriated to the point where I told her if dude keeps calling you, I'm going to catch a case. I know that muhfucka isn't up to no good, and don't want him calling her. She respects that, and he hasn't been heard from since.
It's all about understanding, and communication. I know that her old ex isn't going to try to rekindle anything, but I know for certain that her most recent ex would try some shit at the drop of a hat.
Now, MY exes, on the other hand... I know that one of them would try to fuck up my spot off GP, so that's why I don't even CONSIDER communicating with that broad. Another one of my exes, who has been trying to communicate with me (and to apologize to me), she might be cool. I don't know for certain, because I've only talked to her twice this whole year, but she seems like she's an "okay" ex-turned-friend.
Bottom line: it's all about what your intentions are, as the new man/woman, and their intentions as just a friend.
At first, I had the thoughts of "damn, this dude has seen my girl naked, and has probably taught her some of the shit she does with me." I'm not going to lie, I still have those thoughts sometimes, but dude and me are cool. We kick it, drink together, hang out, throw down on some fighting games -- it's whatever. That shit between them was over 5 years ago. I'm cool with it.
BUT... The motherfucker she was seeing before we hooked up started calling a good year into our relationship, asking how she's doing, saying shit like "Oh, I heard you messing with some dude that stays in the apt building as your cousin (which I do)... He drives this type of car, he looks like this, that the other..." On some old stalking ME type of shit. I was infuriated to the point where I told her if dude keeps calling you, I'm going to catch a case. I know that muhfucka isn't up to no good, and don't want him calling her. She respects that, and he hasn't been heard from since.
It's all about understanding, and communication. I know that her old ex isn't going to try to rekindle anything, but I know for certain that her most recent ex would try some shit at the drop of a hat.
Now, MY exes, on the other hand... I know that one of them would try to fuck up my spot off GP, so that's why I don't even CONSIDER communicating with that broad. Another one of my exes, who has been trying to communicate with me (and to apologize to me), she might be cool. I don't know for certain, because I've only talked to her twice this whole year, but she seems like she's an "okay" ex-turned-friend.
Bottom line: it's all about what your intentions are, as the new man/woman, and their intentions as just a friend.
I was infuriated to the point where I told her if dude keeps calling you, I'm going to catch a case. I know that muhfucka isn't up to no good, and don't want him calling her.
She respects that, and he hasn't been heard from since <as far as you know>.
The thing is she should have haad the sense to cut dude off knowing what she stood to loose and knowing that this cat is up to no good.
The fact that you had to put your foot down could just mean that she took her shit underground becuase she was not the one that had a problem with it.
Women could do what they want but I let them expressly state what rule they play by and tell them I will be playing by that rule also.
If you want to have "that type of convo" then i'm going to carry on that type of convo too right in fromt of you.
Do so doesn't like so..................
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