I'm out there... You probably seen me if you in the A. I may have hit it.
I probably have seen you.
You most definitely have not hit it.
Seriously Ladies Can We Get Real......Again?
- Thread starter Mo-Better
- Start date
I probably have seen you.
You most definitely have not hit it.
Some women do it because they see a few men wanting it.
Some women do it because they see other women that look like it so they want it.
Some women do it because they see said women with it and they see them with men, so therefore in order to get men, they have to do it.
Even if there are chicks who are low maintenance or appear as though they have a high self value (in their natural or near to natural state) doesn't mean they don't have low self esteem...they just don't feel like going through the bullshit of keeping up a false body. Don't attribute every case of fakebodyitis to low self esteem, doesn't work.
Did I cover it all?
See Mel, your first comment is what I've been saying all along. Some women do it because they see a few men wanting it. Some is not the majority so why cater to the lesser. The logic just isn't there. The majority of guys I know want natural women.
That's not to say women with enhanced bodies don't appeal to the eye that would be a lie. But some have taken these operations to the extreme and when it looks extreme its less appealing.
As far as the self esteem issue is concerned I have to agree. When a woman looks at another woman with a man then decides getting implants will better her chances at landing someone, she has serious low self esteem issues. But some are doing it in hopes it will get them past their other short comings.
The bottom line is it probably won't. If she's not attractive, got a belly with a waist that bulges like a 50lb bag of potatoes its not going to work.
There's no short cuts to looking great. Many women know this and its probably why I see hundreds of women in the gym every week working at keeping fit or trying to get fit. They're on stair masters, tread mills, body sculpting classes, zumba, water aerobics and cycling classes and lifting weights, I applaud them all because they're trying. Some will achieve some won't but at least they are trying. Plus they are at least getting some exercise.
First off let me say I'm all for exercise. It builds discipline and I keep seeing people with gastric bypass and lipo get fat again...smh. (Oh yeah Zumba is the shit.)
To answer you though one of the main reasons why women do stuff that only a few men like is the generalization rule. If I see a few men like x then all men must like x. Then they meet that one of many that bucks the rule and then they rationalize that they are getting fed lines of what they WANT to hear because dude want the pussy. When in fact they are being sincere and chick just can't take the truth...believe me I do it all the time (just not in this context). I'll be the first to say I have image issues but even I wouldn't go so far with the surgeries and chemicals...but then again I don't know how I'd feel if I was on the slim side
First off let me say I'm all for exercise. It builds discipline and I keep seeing people with gastric bypass and lipo get fat again...smh. (Oh yeah Zumba is the shit.)
To answer you though one of the main reasons why women do stuff that only a few men like is the generalization rule. If I see a few men like x then all men must like x. Then they meet that one of many that bucks the rule and then they rationalize that they are getting fed lines of what they WANT to hear because dude want the pussy. When in fact they are being sincere and chick just can't take the truth...believe me I do it all the time (just not in this context). I'll be the first to say I have image issues but even I wouldn't go so far with the surgeries and chemicals...but then again I don't know how I'd feel if I was on the slim side
Mel, we all have image problems it could be weight, thinning hair, our height, health whatever but we find ways to live with our issues. To your credit your not presenting a false package pretending your someone your not. Generally speaking the people you meet are accepting you for who you are which makes me think their interest "would" be more sincere.
Women and men have always attempted to make themselves more presentable and I have no problem with that we should. We all do it but there has to be a cutoff point. A listed side effect to all surgeries is possible death (read the fine print before you sign) that should be the cutoff. To ignore the risk of death just to enhance ones shape in hope of securing a mate is a sign of desperation.
Exercise takes hard work and a lot of discipline and the rewards are not instantaneous. Which is why the surgeons knife is the choice of so many. But as you stated some people still fail at weight loss and fail to reach their goals in spite of the surgeries.
For me on thin women verses not so thin (not fat) its usually not the body so much as the overall appearance, personality and then conversation. I do know some thin women tend to feel insecure to women who are more shapely. But what they don't realize is many larger women wish they were smaller. I've seen and dated both ends of the spectrum in regards to size. So the bottom line is not many people are happy with their bodies.
Help me out.
That would be grotesque and I'd be very afraid of the man with those on.
I'll help you out of those panties is what i'll help you out with.
And this is why i said what i said.
You don't know all guys. And you don't know the guys that maybe this woman is trying to attract. Like i said. If you don't like it. Then it's not FOR you.
First off let me say I'm all for exercise. It builds discipline and I keep seeing people with gastric bypass and lipo get fat again...smh. (Oh yeah Zumba is the shit.)
To answer you though one of the main reasons why women do stuff that only a few men like is the generalization rule. If I see a few men like x then all men must like x. Then they meet that one of many that bucks the rule and then they rationalize that they are getting fed lines of what they WANT to hear because dude want the pussy. When in fact they are being sincere and chick just can't take the truth...believe me I do it all the time (just not in this context). I'll be the first to say I have image issues but even I wouldn't go so far with the surgeries and chemicals...but then again I don't know how I'd feel if I was on the slim side
Most men really just don't care about what Mo is talking about. Guys speak all that natural this and that. And then pine for women with the weave, and boob and butt implants. Get to talking to the chick. Get to hitting the chick and then boom. They're together.
We're all the same.
I'll help you out of those panties is what i'll help you out with.
But I agree with Mo!
I want to believe that there are more men like him! (Not that I have that problem with looking or anything of that sort), but I want to believe that men are not that shallow and backwards thinking and that they are progressive.
But then I wake up and I realize that I have as much of a chance of seeing that day as I do of wearing a size 4.
And this is why i said what i said.
show me where I said "all guys." 
You told the truth when you said its not for everyone. But it seems speaking the truth and accepting the truth is another matter.
Just because you can't seem to accept the fact that some men (I really believe its the majority) prefer natural women over those medically altered or enhanced is not my problem. You seem to have a problem accepting this fact. Its simply a matter of choice.
As I stated before I'm not knocking it I'm just trying to understand it. Just wanted to open a conversation to discuss and understand the mindset and I now understand it better. Some women simply lack confidence in their appearance, its that simple.
What you don't seem to understand is I could go out tonight and meet a woman with implants and spend my life with her but it wouldn't be because of her body.
But I agree with Mo!
I want to believe that there are more men like him! (Not that I have that problem with looking or anything of that sort), but I want to believe that men are not that shallow and backwards thinking and that they are progressive.
But then I wake up and I realize that I have as much of a chance of seeing that day as I do of wearing a size 4.
Trust me Mel we're out there. We are always looking if you look nice you will catch someone's eye. Its just that simple and no surgeries are necessary.
But I agree with Mo!
I want to believe that there are more men like him! (Not that I have that problem with looking or anything of that sort), but I want to believe that men are not that shallow and backwards thinking and that they are progressive.
But then I wake up and I realize that I have as much of a chance of seeing that day as I do of wearing a size 4.
Mo's shallowness not withstanding. Yeah. We're judged by our looks. Our value is even placed on our looks. Assumptions are made about us because of them. One of the most INSULTING things i've ever heard to this day wasn't racial, it was about my looks. It hurt my feelings and everything. Hell i'm delusional in the fact that i want to be valued by my intellect and not my looks. I know i won't be. I know i'll be misjudged all the time. But it's still a little spec in the back of my head that wishes someone would like me because of what i know instead of what i look like.
lol i even went to the store today and put on something "nice". I wore heels! Why? I have no idea why. I felt good, i took my hair down out of the bun. Fluffed it out. Combed it. Put up lipstick and everything. I wasn't going nowhere but to the store! lol. We're all so fucked up. lol
You told the truth when you said its not for everyone. But it seems speaking the truth and accepting the truth is another matter.
Just because you can't seem to accept the fact that some men (I really believe its the majority) prefer natural women over those medically altered or enhanced is not my problem. You seem to have a problem accepting this fact. Its simply a matter of choice.
As I stated before I'm not knocking it I'm just trying to understand it. Just wanted to open a conversation to discuss and understand the mindset and I now understand it better. Some women simply lack confidence in their appearance, its that simple.
What you don't seem to understand is I could go out tonight and meet a woman with implants and spend my life with her but it wouldn't be because of her body.
Mo you said....... The majority of guys i know. While you may no 100 guys and out of those 100 60 SAY they like women au naturale. That's just the 60 guys you know bro. That is not ALL men. Your whole point started with, "men like..." And i'm just saying mmm no. You're not the majority. Just like women, what a guy says and what he does are often 2 different things depending on the situation. As you stated.
Trust me Mel we're out there. We are always looking if you look nice you will catch someone's eye. Its just that simple and no surgeries are necessary.
I know ya'll are. But it's almost the same with self depreciating Black folk, women sometimes need it as a hard, active fact and CONSTANT. Sometimes I think this is the key thing lacking. When a dude like you tries to tell a woman, sometimes it's not constant. It's here and there which (for some people) can make them think "oh well that was just one time...he don't feel like that all the time".
I really think this is a mis conception issue first...communication issue second.
No sneaks?!
Wait...I think the sky just fell on the building next to me.
Nope. I figured out why i wanted to be all pretty and girl today. I was channeling her. lol These guys don't understand i think what it's like for a woman to live in this country. Grow up in this country as a black female. And gain the hate and ire of everyone. And be told how horrible you are. As a woman period though. You're never ever going to be appealing or good looking to anyone if you don't have __________ fill it in. That's something that's very hard to overcome.
I know ya'll are. But it's almost the same with self depreciating Black folk, women sometimes need it as a hard, active fact and CONSTANT. Sometimes I think this is the key thing lacking. When a dude like you tries to tell a woman, sometimes it's not constant. It's here and there which (for some people) can make them think "oh well that was just one time...he don't feel like that all the time".
I really think this is a mis conception issue first...communication issue second.
No sneaks?!
Wait...I think the sky just fell on the building next to me.
Mel, so many of us don't understand our true worth. We tend to look at ourselves as being inferior and it covers a wide rage of issues.
Society itself lumps us into a category called minority, a "lessor than," than what? Black people work for companies train new employees only to see that same new employee later get promoted over them. With so many subtle aspects of our lives showing us we're inferior I can see some people being conditioned to think along those lines.
As we now know some women have bought into this fallacy. Thinking that we "all" want bigger women. Some of us do but not all of us. Especially if being bigger means getting implants or eating yourself to a bigger size.
I can see doing this if your in the adult industry and your ensured of recouping your investment but the everyday woman has no guarantee. A man will dump her if he sees something he thinks is better regardless of implants or not.
I agree.
But its not something the common woman thinks of. The high lofty ideas of a true gold digger - probably. They know with money they can augment, take out, put back in, etc. For the common woman it's all about having consistent dick. We need consistent reminders so we don't go crazy (for those that need it), but when folks do it's all for consistent dick. Women try not to be old fashioned in this day and age but they want the old fashioned idea of a woman's life. Just folks got modern means to do it.
Now about the other element of your reply. If I remember to elaborate when I get back from work I will, but look up the concept of the 'other'. Back in school we had different trains of thought on the 'other' but I honestly believe that being 'Black' and 'the minority' constitutes us as such and therefore we deserve our own category. Not to say that women of other colors don't do the same thing (white girls want booties too, east Asians want to be white as do most Indian women) but the conditions as to WHY I think Black women here look to do such to their bodies is a culture all it's own.
If I were in a position to travel I'd take this on the circuit.
Of course I understand the game Mel. I also know women outnumber men about 8 to 1. So those who can afford it are looking to give themselves what they perceive as an advantage. Its pretty much the reason why women in the porn industry get implants, bigger boobs and a bigger ass means more opportunity. At least that's the belief.
At least you were real with it. To me its funny how few are willing to be honest with themselves when confronted with the question. We all do things to attract its what we do.
But the things that wins over most of us and keeps us isn't implants, a pretty face or a slamming body. Its taking care of home, being supportive, strong and fucking the shit out of us when we need it. Any woman should be able to do that, no implants necessary. But it is good to know we still have women with enough self confidence to be true to there natural self. These are the real women I want.
By all means please elaborate.
There are different ways to define the other. Some will argue it covers a plethora of people, others will claim in this time and place there is no need for the term and categorization. But this site here seems to sum it up the best as it was taught to me; here's a quote :
Phew! Mel your going to mess around and raise the cultural levels of this and the main forum quoting Aristotle. This would be of course a good thing.
However I don't buy into the idea of women being naturally defective. This may apply to some but I'm not even thinking the majority. On the other hand neither do I believe that man is perfect. We all have our faults, insecurities misguided ideals but that's what makes us human.
Its funny you selected this particular philosopher. When I was in school he was the one philosopher everyone enjoyed questioning. My guess is because he discredited the views of other philosophers.
My bottom line in all this is simple, a woman's strongest asset is her mind. Yeah her looks will always get attention but looks alone won't keep a man satisfied. Your body is only going to be exciting once that's the first time I see it. After that I know what to expect, the fantasy is gone I know what to expect. So what keeps me coming back for more?
We see beautiful looking women being divorced almost everyday. So if man is as visual as its been stated why is this happening? A woman's body only makes up a small percentage of who she is and what a man wants. Good pussy even good head isn't even enough to keep a man. She better have something upstairs.
^^^
Unfortunately what you are talking about I'm just learning. I mean the whole 'keep coming for more' thing. It's more than just the eurocentric or extra Black features that keep a woman hypnotized - more to it than that.
I'm not a big fan of Ari, Plato, and Soc...fuckin' thieves. But I quoted him because I thought it funny that I look up the 'other' and here I see this apropos quote on how others see women
. Funny, but thanks .
I do agree about the whole something upstairs. We look for it in men too...I don't want my man to just be some breadwinner while I get to sit at home, I want conversation and good ones. Help me to try to be better, if I'm not on your level I want to get there. But as a women my man needs to AT LEAST be on my level. If he is to be the dominating force then I want something to aspire to (but that is another thread so let me digress).
Speaking on the 'other' again, everyone here can come up with a different theory on how women are how they are either in this global perspective or isolating Black women in the US...which brings out a whole 'nother can of worms that is unique to any other group out there. What I take from this is that by being classified as this group, multiple times (minority v. non-minority, descended of a colonized/slave group, female) there is no real definitive way to pinpoint WHY women really do what we do. Too many factors. BUT what we can definitely say is that somewhere something in the social construct went wrong. Whether it is how the sexes communicate or the media portraying images of women - I don't know. Just how we have to take men one at a time, maybe we have to take cases of delusional women one at a time... (forgive the rant I just woke up 
)
Unfortunately what you are talking about I'm just learning. I mean the whole 'keep coming for more' thing. It's more than just the eurocentric or extra Black features that keep a woman hypnotized - more to it than that.
I'm not a big fan of Ari, Plato, and Soc...fuckin' thieves. But I quoted him because I thought it funny that I look up the 'other' and here I see this apropos quote on how others see women
. Funny, but thanks .I do agree about the whole something upstairs. We look for it in men too...I don't want my man to just be some breadwinner while I get to sit at home, I want conversation and good ones. Help me to try to be better, if I'm not on your level I want to get there. But as a women my man needs to AT LEAST be on my level. If he is to be the dominating force then I want something to aspire to (but that is another thread so let me digress).
Speaking on the 'other' again, everyone here can come up with a different theory on how women are how they are either in this global perspective or isolating Black women in the US...which brings out a whole 'nother can of worms that is unique to any other group out there. What I take from this is that by being classified as this group, multiple times (minority v. non-minority, descended of a colonized/slave group, female) there is no real definitive way to pinpoint WHY women really do what we do. Too many factors. BUT what we can definitely say is that somewhere something in the social construct went wrong. Whether it is how the sexes communicate or the media portraying images of women - I don't know. Just how we have to take men one at a time, maybe we have to take cases of delusional women one at a time...
(forgive the rant I just woke up )
^^^
Unfortunately what you are talking about I'm just learning. I mean the whole 'keep coming for more' thing. It's more than just the eurocentric or extra Black features that keep a woman hypnotized - more to it than that.
I'm not a big fan of Ari, Plato, and Soc...fuckin' thieves. But I quoted him because I thought it funny that I look up the 'other' and here I see this apropos quote on how others see women
I do agree about the whole something upstairs. We look for it in men too...I don't want my man to just be some breadwinner while I get to sit at home, I want conversation and good ones. Help me to try to be better, if I'm not on your level I want to get there. But as a women my man needs to AT LEAST be on my level. If he is to be the dominating force then I want something to aspire to (but that is another thread so let me digress).
Speaking on the 'other' again, everyone here can come up with a different theory on how women are how they are either in this global perspective or isolating Black women in the US...which brings out a whole 'nother can of worms that is unique to any other group out there. What I take from this is that by being classified as this group, multiple times (minority v. non-minority, descended of a colonized/slave group, female) there is no real definitive way to pinpoint WHY women really do what we do. Too many factors. BUT what we can definitely say is that somewhere something in the social construct went wrong. Whether it is how the sexes communicate or the media portraying images of women - I don't know. Just how we have to take men one at a time, maybe we have to take cases of delusional women one at a time...
You once told me you had a vivid imagination, when I saw you quoting Aristotle it took your comment to a new level.
As for the "other" I agree with you. But if its ever going to change black people collectively must do it. Seems everyone has a voice but us. People like Warren Valentine and Al Sharpton cannot be expected to address all the ills that plague black communities. For some strange reason black people think today there is no struggle. But we do need to address and put a stop to others labeling us.
As for the classification of minority v. non-minority. Your right again, they are still playing that game. If you notice the term is never used to address others. If an Asian does something wrong its the Asian community, for Jews its the Jewish community but when black people are involved here comes the labels, minority section of ____________. So the term is one of convenience...their convenience.
^^^
Unfortunately what you are talking about I'm just learning. I mean the whole 'keep coming for more' thing. It's more than just the eurocentric or extra Black features that keep a woman hypnotized - more to it than that.
I'm not a big fan of Ari, Plato, and Soc...fuckin' thieves. But I quoted him because I thought it funny that I look up the 'other' and here I see this apropos quote on how others see women
I do agree about the whole something upstairs. We look for it in men too...I don't want my man to just be some breadwinner while I get to sit at home, I want conversation and good ones. Help me to try to be better, if I'm not on your level I want to get there. But as a women my man needs to AT LEAST be on my level. If he is to be the dominating force then I want something to aspire to (but that is another thread so let me digress).
Speaking on the 'other' again, everyone here can come up with a different theory on how women are how they are either in this global perspective or isolating Black women in the US...which brings out a whole 'nother can of worms that is unique to any other group out there. What I take from this is that by being classified as this group, multiple times (minority v. non-minority, descended of a colonized/slave group, female) there is no real definitive way to pinpoint WHY women really do what we do. Too many factors. BUT what we can definitely say is that somewhere something in the social construct went wrong. Whether it is how the sexes communicate or the media portraying images of women - I don't know. Just how we have to take men one at a time, maybe we have to take cases of delusional women one at a time...
While we do want someone to love and appreciate us for our minds, we're still women. And we still want to be attractive to our men. And because we seek to gain attention it's why so much value is placed on our looks. I spent alot of time shunning the crap out of guys who approached me because i knew why they were approaching me. I knew they didn't see my resume. They didn't see my accomplishments. Alot of men don't seem to understand, even when not trying to appeal to them there are plenty of those who will still approach.
The kids and i were just up at the ice cream shop. Ice cream guy is trying to holla. I've got no make up on but when i got back in the car i realized my nipps were poking. I've got 14 children with me and you work at an Ice cream counter(i'm going to franchise this btw) what the hell man!?
Similar threads
