o Don't start it out with "We need to talk about this relationship"
Ahh man that sentence gets me so
But for real I never had much problem
expressing myself with women.
Serious question for the men on the board...
- Thread starter femmenoire
- Start date
Ahh man that sentence gets me so
But for real I never had much problem
expressing myself with women.
Support by TELLING him that what ever his decision is, you will be there for him. A lot of men will keep it inside because failure is difficult for most men.
o Don't start it out with "We need to talk about this relationship"
What do you think the response would be if you simply said " Oh hell no we don't?"
i know i am late but femm on the real. just leave us alone. let us know that you are there for us when we are ready to talk. maybe do something nice for us. but for the most part just fall back. if a man is really with you and you are his best friend along with being his lady love , he will open up.some women have a tendency to want to pry and that just pisses men off. let us breath and most cats will come around.
Femme, These are pretty much the exact words Dr Gray uses in...
Come to find out...men have 'caves' and women have 'wells'(our version of the cave)...let me shut up and let him tell it...its a good read if you haven't gotten it already.
I've Never Had To Argue With A Female Everytime I've Come Close I Just Take My Frustration Out On Her Pussy And Beat The Breaks Off Of It.
...
DaleMabry...you should write a book...
Femme, These are pretty much the exact words Dr Gray uses in...
Come to find out...men have 'caves' and women have 'wells'(our version of the cave)...let me shut up and let him tell it...its a good read if you haven't gotten it already.
DaleMabry...you should write a book...
^^^For the most part, men like to go off and think about things in solitude when they're bothered about something or have a problem to solve.
At times like this, it's best if we're left alone and allowed to either deal with the situation on our own or actually choose to discuss it with our significant others.
Most men really appreciate the fact that we have good women who care about us enough to want to help us but y'all need to let us open up to y'all out our own speed.
Peace.
Be honest now Femmenoire. What would you rather have, a brooding man caught in a funk every now and then or a whining pussy that tells you every negative thing on his mind? Women expect us to be their protector and provider. How can you trust us as a protector when we lay out all of our fears and insecurities to you?
^^^Real talk.
When a man exposes his deepest fears and insecurities to a woman she loses respect for him. (whether she wants to accept this or not)
It's an innescapable reality that many men would do well to remember.
Whining diminishes your status in the eyes of your woman so dry your eyes and dead that shit with a quickness.
D
DANGEROUSBLACKMAN
Guest
Femme, These are pretty much the exact words Dr Gray uses in...
...
Thanks For The Shout Out Now I Know I Got Fans.
Femme, These are pretty much the exact words Dr Gray uses in...
Come to find out...men have 'caves' and women have 'wells'(our version of the cave)...let me shut up and let him tell it...its a good read if you haven't gotten it already.
DaleMabry...you should write a book...
Thanks Thighs!
And yes Dale is a hoot!
As men we are taught from a very young age not to cry, don't complain, be strong and don't whine. As a consequence when we grow up, and have problems we internalize them, cuz we don't want our women to think we're weak. It is an extremely fine line between showing just enough emotion, and communicating to just being a weak whiny bitch. Most of don't even want to take that chance.
As others have said, give him space, and if you want to help him, do what he asks you to do, NOT what you THINK he needs. This is a huge mistake a lot of women make, it's not your problem to fix.
Be patient, be supportive.
As others have said, give him space, and if you want to help him, do what he asks you to do, NOT what you THINK he needs. This is a huge mistake a lot of women make, it's not your problem to fix.
Be patient, be supportive.
I think this was a good question posed. I've been in this type of situation before also.
I've learned that treating a man like I would any friend is the best thing to do in the situation. I think so many times we try to force ourselves on people and sometimes people just need space and when they are ready to talk they will. I just try to let them know, friend or someone I am in a relationship with, that I am there for them.
I've learned that treating a man like I would any friend is the best thing to do in the situation. I think so many times we try to force ourselves on people and sometimes people just need space and when they are ready to talk they will. I just try to let them know, friend or someone I am in a relationship with, that I am there for them.
So, so true. This is part of the reason that men take Job Layoffs MUCH worse than women do and they have a higher suicide rate due to layoffs than women. We are groomed by society and family to be providers (even in the age of the independent woman who may earn more than we do).
I would look for the actual factual reference, but I am too tired right now. G'night.
This paragraph right here is what every woman needs to know to communicate with men.
This can also keep a lot of brothers out of simp mode.
If the couple truly knows each other, then there's an understanding of when to back off and when to push. For me, I appreciate when my woman cares enough to ask. On the other hand, I prefer to solve things on my own. Like what most of the others said, I become singularly-focused and perceivably sullen. Nothing personal. I'll get through it somehow, even if part of my process for getting through it is getting to that point where admitting that I cannot solve this problem alone and must come to my mate for advice, support, and comfort.
It's when the option of being able to go to that mate is closed off for whatever reason (inability to talk at an equal level or lack of mental intimacy), that your relationship will have problems that tumble out of control.
It's when the option of being able to go to that mate is closed off for whatever reason (inability to talk at an equal level or lack of mental intimacy), that your relationship will have problems that tumble out of control.
For the most part I am the same way, I just don't understand "not talking" at all.
What is the point of a relationship if you don't even speak?
I'm not going through that bullshit.
I expect common courtesy regardless of your situation. Women have to deal with some bullshit at the job and with family too.
What is the point of a relationship if you don't even speak?
I'm not going through that bullshit.
I expect common courtesy regardless of your situation. Women have to deal with some bullshit at the job and with family too.
Well it depends on the chick asking the question,I try to be real
upfront with women I meet. Some know not to even to go there.
I'ma have to agree with the other men, just leave me be, I'll bring myself back around and fix the problem, but alot of women don't know this, or they figure the problem is so bad that got to add a woman's touch, which works but sometimes as a man you gotta put that fuckin hook in your nose just deal with situation head on. After Katrina alot of single people from New Orleans would hook up with each other, because we were all in strange in places and shit, we looked for something familiar so if you were single after Katrina you hooked up because you wanted somebody to cling to. Problem is Post-Katrina life is stressful as hell, and can change the way you normally handle things even down to the way you think.
A woman I dated from January 2006 to September 07, would tend to NOT want to leave me alone when I needed to clear my head or adjust myself, because her excuse was "We going thru this together I know what you're feeling" and she did to an extent but I just needed that time and space to recharge so I dont break down, one day I got pissed and I told her why I just go quiet when shit goes sour and her response was "I know bay, I'ma give you your space next time" but just 3 days later after bitching at my contracter for not getting the doors with the money order I sent him and forcing me to take the grueling 600 mile drive from San Antonio to New Orleans to correct things, she wanted to sit down and tell me what I should do, that didn't help, that pissed me off even worse, that was a situation where I needed her to just be quiet or say as little as possible.
Eventually this killed relationship. Now I feel alot less stressed even the overall stress level is still the same, I dont have anybody trying too hard to calm me down, or saying the wrong things and spreading the fire sorta speak.
If a woman cannot fix whatever problem her man is having, I guess there is still the notion that he'll feel better if he at least expresses it to her. Am I right?
Well, that just depends on the individual. Speaking on it may actually make a person more distraught. Kinda like when people say "It hurts to pray"
There is always a good reason why people don't exactly "open up" about some things...even in a relationship. You're never going to know absolutely everything about a person anyway, right? So you just gotta respect your mate's wishes.
Well, that just depends on the individual. Speaking on it may actually make a person more distraught. Kinda like when people say "It hurts to pray"
There is always a good reason why people don't exactly "open up" about some things...even in a relationship. You're never going to know absolutely everything about a person anyway, right? So you just gotta respect your mate's wishes.
I'm actually very much into communicating (maybe too much) but I had to learn this one the hard way. No matter what she tells you about openness DO NOT FALL FOR THAT SHIT. Keep your weaknesses carefully guarded. One should do that in all situations, truth be told, on some 48 Laws shit.
Mmm hmm. See I'm feeling that BigMario. Every time is not the right time and I am now not shy about saying this issue may be important, but I'm not receptive to talking about it right now. I think more men should do that rather than give the " oh this bitch is nagging again " face. Be upfront and I hope most well meaning people can respect that.
Each man has their own way of dealing with things, but one thing that I dont like personally is being questioned about something i dont want to talk about. It just makes me angry, and will make my girl angry too.
I think the best for women to deal with it is to give him time and let him address the issue. It may be something minor that bugging him that will be forgotten in a few hours.
femm its not bullshit its not even we dont care but understand its like " i love you im with you this aint bout us its just something i gotta deal with im not bringin it home im just a lil frustrated so let me deal cause we good alright honey. " end of story
Bet This Works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
A good understanding bj will loosen us up and start talking to me after about 5 min. of it, but don't stop.
quik fix........seriously
can i get a hell yea?
A good understanding bj will loosen us up and start talking to me after about 5 min. of it, but don't stop.quik fix........seriously
can i get a hell yea?
Most women want to know about everything that is going on with her man. The prodding questions can get very annoying after time. If it's not about the relationship leave it along and let him figure it out on his own. Once you start answering a womans questions it only gets worse from that point on. The best advice I can give is that a women should not have to know everything about his mate.
Dlateshow
Dlateshow
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