Romance Without Finance: Can A Broke Man Be Mr. Right?

[DeSiRe]

for me...yes and no

it all depends on why hes broke

if hes fucking off his money...not taking his job seriously..has no goals/aspiration/plan for the future...constantly dependant of someone to take care of him...then the answer is no

but everybody falls on hard times....or has to struggle to come up..and if he has goals and aspirations for more...the answer is yes

 

[OnSlaught]

I'm torn right down the middle on this subject.

As a man, It's in my nature to provide. Back in the day, women didn't have shit and their families didn't have shit, so the requirements for a brother weren't as demanding. Back then, If you could at least get her out of the hood and in a little house with picket fence and a fido, you're straight.

Now, most of these women come from the same homes YOU come from, and every generation should be doing better than their parents. Basically, if she came from a lower/middle class home, she'll AT LEAST want that, and that's not all that unreasonable.

Here's where the problems come: The middle class has been almost completely annihilated since the latter half of the bush administration. With the U.S. sharply divided into haves and have nots, ie, those living on credit from check to check and those living with surpluss, that puts us - black men - in shitty assed situations.

Combine that with the well-known fact that black women are presented more job opportunities because they are considered less threatening to their white male bosses, then you have a Willie Lynch-level recipe for a battle of the sexes. Even if a man is working, he's often UNDEREMPLOYED to at least meet the standards of her parents set at the same age, and he DEFINITELY doesn't meet those standards shaped by what she's seeing on television.

So if this question is will a woman Romance without finance, I genuinely believe that a woman will *say* yes, but not really understand that she won't commit to something like that.

Femme, when you used the Ashford and Simpson example, baby those days are done. In the 70's black folks were helping each other up, weren't as color struck (African Americans experimenting with their blackness and marrying pure Africans), and were both at the bottom of the financial totem pole together.

Nowadays? Even with him having a somewhat decent job, the standards of the modern black women are even higher than that of her contemporary Hispanic or White female counterpart. Basically, the brother is being put on a HIGHER expectancy measurement than a non-black man of the same age.

And that shit ain't right.

Good luck, brothers. In the new millennium, if you ain't got no cash, that's yo' ass.

 

[owl]

I'm torn right down the middle on this subject.

As a man, It's in my nature to provide. Back in the day, women didn't have shit and their families didn't have shit, so the requirements for a brother weren't as demanding. Back then, If you could at least get her out of the hood and in a little house with picket fence and a fido, you're straight.

Now, most of these women come from the same homes YOU come from, and every generation should be doing better than their parents. Basically, if she came from a lower/middle class home, she'll AT LEAST want that, and that's not all that unreasonable.

Here's where the problems come: The middle class has been almost completely annihilated since the latter half of the bush administration. With the U.S. sharply divided into haves and have nots, ie, those living on credit from check to check and those living with surpluss, that puts us - black men - in shitty assed situations.

Combine that with the well-known fact that black women are presented more job opportunities because they are considered less threatening to their white male bosses, then you have a Willie Lynch-level recipe for a battle of the sexes. Even if a man is working, he's often UNDEREMPLOYED to at least meet the standards of her parents set at the same age, and he DEFINITELY doesn't meet those standards shaped by what she's seeing on television.

So if this question is will a woman Romance without finance, I genuinely believe that a woman will *say* yes, but not really understand that she won't commit to something like that.

Femme, when you used the Ashford and Simpson example, baby those days are done. In the 70's black folks were helping each other up, weren't as color struck (African Americans experimenting with their blackness and marrying pure Africans), and were both at the bottom of the financial totem pole together.

Nowadays? Even with him having a somewhat decent job, the standards of the modern black women are even higher than that of her contemporary Hispanic or White female counterpart. Basically, the brother is being put on a HIGHER expectancy measurement than a non-black man of the same age.

And that shit ain't right.

Good luck, brothers. In the new millennium, if you ain't got no cash, that's yo' ass.

Great Post...
My sister's father was a well established man, working hard into the night to provide and get us from East St. Louis and the Webbe's(projects). But after she got her degree, she settled down with a brother who I like as a person, but know he is not the same type of provider as her father. My sister lived in a very nice home for all of her teenage years, so I know for a fact that there are sisters out there that will choose a man based on his personality and inner strengths, and have being in short term relationships with her friends(read that as it is...) I know that there are many sisters like her...

Ultimately, black women,hetero and otherwise, are innately drawn to strength. Many women will marry a guy with money, and will cheat with someone with a stronger persona.

Any who, brothers who plan on a road of accomplishment that may take some time, I would suggest developing a good insight, a sense of humor, and being bold enough to take the initiative when seeing a women that you are interested in...

 

[LeroyDibiase]

I won't even read the thread because I know it's filled with hemming and hawing about how money isn't important and love and blah blah blah, stop lying.

 

[Hellfish]

Just curious what some of you ladies consider being broke? I have female friends who consider a man with less than 15 grand in a savings account broke.