Romance Without Finance: Can A Broke Man Be Mr. Right?

Ming Fei Hong

Ming Fei Hong

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
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How important is a man's income to his dating/marriage 'market value'? And does the same standard apply to women?

Gwen Guthrie - Nothin' Goin' On, But The Rent
[FLASH]http://www.youtube.com/v/GYDOdbX5oaE&rel=1[/FLASH]
Bill collector's at my door - what can you do for me-ee, oh

No romance without finance, no romance without finance

Boy, nothin' in life is free
That's why I'm asking you, what can you do for me?
I've got responsibilities
So I'm lookin' for a man who's got some money in his hand

'Cause nothin' from nothin', leaves a nothin'
You got to have somethin' if you want to be with me

Oh-oh, life is just serious, love's too mysterious
A fly girl like me needs security

'Cause ain't nothin' goin' on but the rent
You got to have a J.O.B. if you want to be with me
Ain't nothin' goin' on but the rent
You got to have a J.O.B. if you want to be with me

No romance without finance, I said no romance without finance

Boy, your silky words are sweet
But we're only wastin' time if your pockets are empty
I got lots of love to give
But I will have to avoid you if you're unemployed

'Cause nothin' from nothin', leaves a nothin'
You got to have somethin' if you want to be with me
Oh-oh, life is just serious, love's too mysterious
A fly girl like me needs security

'Cause ain't nothin' goin' on but the rent
You got to have a J.O.B. if you want to be with me
Ain't nothin' goin' on but the rent
You got to have a J.O.B. if you want to be with me

No romance without finance, I said no romance without finance
No romance without finance, I said no romance without finance

Oh, you look good to me, your silky words are sweet
But your pockets sure look empty

Wooh-ooh, nothin' from nothin', leaves a nothin'
You got to have somethin' if you want to be with me

Oh-oh, life is just serious, love's too mysterious
A fly girl like me needs security

Oh-oh, life is just serious, love's too mysterious
A fly girl like me needs security

'Cause ain't nothin' goin' on but the rent
You got to have a J.O.B. if you want to be with me
Ain't nothin' goin' on but the rent
You got to have a J.O.B. if you want to be with me

No romance without finance, I said no romance without finance
No romance without finance, I said no romance without finance

What can you do for me?

I'm looking for a man to put some money in my hand.


​
 
It worked for Valerie Simpson. Nick Ashford was homeless sleeping on a bench when he met his wife.
 
''NICK ASHFORD slept here,'' the brass plaque reads, but his former bed, a wooden bench in Bryant Park, was hardly luxurious. Mr. Ashford, a singer and songwriter, lived in the park when he came to New York from Willow Run, Mich., in the early 1960's with $57 in his pocket and soon didn't even have a dime to call home."

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9405E7DA113FF935A25755C0A961958260&sec=&spon=


Nick wasn't trying to be a singer. He was trying to be a dancer. Val took him in and they became writers for Motown, I believe. He was the one who wrote "I'm Every Woman". Imagine that.
 
femmenoire said:
''NICK ASHFORD slept here,'' the brass plaque reads, but his former bed, a wooden bench in Bryant Park, was hardly luxurious. Mr. Ashford, a singer and songwriter, lived in the park when he came to New York from Willow Run, Mich., in the early 1960's with $57 in his pocket and soon didn't even have a dime to call home."

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9405E7DA113FF935A25755C0A961958260&sec=&spon=


Nick wasn't trying to be a singer. He was trying to be a dancer. Val took him in and they became writers for Motown, I believe. He was the one who wrote "I'm Every Woman". Imagine that.
Click to expand...

Good info
 
femmenoire said:
''NICK ASHFORD slept here,'' the brass plaque reads, but his former bed, a wooden bench in Bryant Park, was hardly luxurious. Mr. Ashford, a singer and songwriter, lived in the park when he came to New York from Willow Run, Mich., in the early 1960's with $57 in his pocket and soon didn't even have a dime to call home."

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9405E7DA113FF935A25755C0A961958260&sec=&spon=


Nick wasn't trying to be a singer. He was trying to be a dancer. Val took him in and they became writers for Motown, I believe. He was the one who wrote "I'm Every Woman". Imagine that.
Click to expand...



ok early 1960's....a woman took in a homeless man off the street where they both eventually became successful man and wife.

any cases of that in the new millenium? just curious.....
 
I think it depends on what else the dude can offer besides the romance. If he stayin home cookin and cleanin or something like that while i'm at work then we cool. He doesnt' even have to do that everyday:yes:
 
Da Don said:
ok early 1960's....a woman took in a homeless man off the street where they both eventually became successful man and wife.

any cases of that in the new millenium? just curious.....
Click to expand...

In this day and age, she'd have a couple of his kids and be pregnant when she comes up missing.
 
femmenoire said:
''NICK ASHFORD slept here,'' the brass plaque reads, but his former bed, a wooden bench in Bryant Park, was hardly luxurious. Mr. Ashford, a singer and songwriter, lived in the park when he came to New York from Willow Run, Mich., in the early 1960's with $57 in his pocket and soon didn't even have a dime to call home."

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9405E7DA113FF935A25755C0A961958260&sec=&spon=


Nick wasn't trying to be a singer. He was trying to be a dancer. Val took him in and they became writers for Motown, I believe. He was the one who wrote "I'm Every Woman". Imagine that.
Click to expand...


That's a great story femm.:yes:

What up with your answer tho':)
 
HoneyDip said:
I think it depends on what else the dude can offer besides the romance. If he stayin home cookin and cleanin or something like that while i'm at work then we cool. He doesnt' even have to do that everyday:yes:
Click to expand...


Damn That's level headed right there. Glad to know there are still some reasonable "Honeys":yes:
 
for a broke Man to be "Mr.Right" he better be a helluva MAN
a Woman will follow a MAN ,even if he is living under a bridge - but he has to have a Vision and give her something to follow i.e help me build this business,publish my book ,sell my artwork .... cuz a Womans nature is too follow ,assist



even if you got money - never lead with your Money
if you're a Millionaire - tell her you work at McDonalds ;)
 
It's possible. There's a difference between a hardworking man who chose to do something that doesn't make much money (teaching, blue collar work) vs. a lazy azz nigga. Lazy is a no-go :smh:
 
Da Don said:
ok early 1960's....a woman took in a homeless man off the street where they both eventually became successful man and wife.

any cases of that in the new millenium? just curious.....
Click to expand...

717jpmc.jpg


NOW CMON, YOU GOTTA BE KITTIN, SISTA'S THESE DAY'S DONT WONT NO BROKE AZZ HOMELESS NINJA, SHHAYIT! PLUS THAT MAFUKA HAD GOOD HAIR, THATS WHY SHE BROUGHT HIM HOME!! SISTAS LOVE A NINJA WIT GOOD HAIR!! I COULD HEAR HER SAYIN TO HER GIRRL FRIENDS RIGHT NOW "HE WAS HOMELESS BUT HE SHO WAS FINE WITH THAT GOOD HAIR"!!!
 
lilsexii said:
It's possible. There's a difference between a hardworking man who chose to do something that doesn't make much money (teaching, blue collar work) vs. a lazy azz nigga. Lazy is a no-go :smh:
Click to expand...

Having been a grad student for a long time and then having a small business I definitely have been broke and the grad student men I dated were broke as hell too! We understood that it was hard, but it was temporary and things would turn around for us both eventually.

How are we defining broke, also because like sexii said a man that teaches, or does other blue collar work is clearly not a lazy man and is a fine choice for a mate in my opinion. I'd rather a man make less money and enjoy his job than a 6 figure bitter ninja. I have a good friend like that- shit load of money but he is always having problems with his relationships because he is forever complaining about his job and is a workaholic.
 
I have been in the situation before where I have gotten involved with a broke ass man and was stuck having to carry him financially. I never want to be in that position again. WAY too much stress. Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't want a "sugar daddy" neither. Just someone who can pull their own weight.

One musician guy, I met him in the VI at a friends house. I invited him to come visit me home for a weekend and set up some gigs for him. Motherfucker wouldn't leave. Had no $. I already told him before he came that there were not regular sustainable gigs like that but just an occasional one off. 5 months later almost all my $ have run out from having to pay everything for 2. The shit really hit the fan when we were out to lunch at this jazz spot where the plates are HUGE and not only did he have the nerve to complain about having to share a plate but he destroyed the fish cuase he didn't know how to split it. I ended up throwing the fish in his face and leaving his ass there. There are way too many other incidents to mention. Damn, broke ass and high maintenance do not belong in the same sentence. :hmm:
 
femmenoire said:
Nick wasn't trying to be a singer. He was trying to be a dancer. Val took him in and they became writers for Motown, I believe. He was the one who wrote "I'm Every Woman". Imagine that.
Click to expand...

He and Valerie are incredible songwriters. Never heard of the dancing thing with Nick. I saw an interview they did onArsenio Hall where they said they met in church.

They will be forever rich, the both of them on royalties alone from some of the greatest songs ever written.


They started their career in the 1960s, writing for artists such as:

Ray Charles ("Let's Go Get Stoned" and "'I Don't Need No Doctor")
The Fifth Dimension ("California Soul")
Aretha Franklin ("Cry Like A Baby")
Joining the Motown staff in 1967, they wrote and/or produced all but one of the late 1960s singles Marvin Gaye recorded with Tammi Terrell, including hits such as the original version of:

"Ain't No Mountain High Enough"
"Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing"
"Your Precious Love"
"You're All I Need to Get By"
Other Motown artists that Ashford & Simpson worked with included:

Diana Ross
"Reach Out and Touch (Somebody's Hand)"
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough"
"Remember Me"
"Surrender"
"The Boss"
"It's My House"
Gladys Knight & The Pips
"Didn't You Know You'd Have To Cry Sometime
"The Landlord"
"Bourgie, Bourgie"
"Taste Of Bitter Love"
Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
"Who's Gonna Take The Blame"
The Marvelettes
"Destination:Anywhere"
The Supremes
"Some Things You Never Get Used To"
The Dynamic Superiors
"Shoe, Shoe Shine"
Other artists with whom they had hits were:

Teddy Pendergrass ("Is It Still Good To You") The Brothers Johnson ("Ride-O-Rocket") Chaka Khan, both on her own ("I'm Every Woman" and "Clouds," ) and with Rufus ("Keep It Comin'" and "Ain't Nothin' But A Maybe" )

In 1978, they were featured as vocalists, along with Chaka Khan, on the hit single "Stuff Like That from Quincy Jones' Sounds...And Stuff Like That album and contributed to the writing of the soundtrack to The Wiz.

Simpson appeared (with Melba Moorman) as part of the "Blood, Sweat & Tears Soul Chorus" on the band's Al Kooper led debut, Child Is Father to the Man.


Around this time, they got married, and in 1973, they resumed their career as a duo with the Warner Brothers album "Gimme Something Real." This was followed by the hit singles, "Don't Cost You Nothin'," in 1977, "It Seems To Hang On" in 1978, "Is it Still Good to Ya" in 1978, "Found A Cure" in 1979, "Street Corner" in 1982, and their biggest hit, "Solid", which they recorded in 1984. They recorded the album "Been Found" with poet Maya Angelou in 1996. (A complete list of their albums can be found in the discography listed below.)

On his own, Ashford produced, along with Frank Wilson, the mammoth hit "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me", which was recorded by Diana Ross & the Supremes in collaboration with the Temptations in 1968.
 
I think our Economy is so messed up nowadays that to not have a job would be useless in the dating game. That being said. I've had a couple chicks who knew I had a part time and we rented videos and order pizza at my place. maybe they wanted a place to stay they lived with their moms/family.....dont' know, but these days women looking for a dude with money tend to be broke....I'm making more money now then back then, so I don't mind dating a chick who doesn't make as much as me as long as she doesn't ask for money. I like to provide, but I'm not your kid's father(I have no kids!!) so don't expect anything other than what I buy for that day the kid's there......
 
bigirl said:
I have been in the situation before where I have gotten involved with a broke ass man and was stuck having to carry him financially. I never want to be in that position again. WAY too much stress. Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't want a "sugar daddy" neither. Just someone who can pull their own weight.

One musician guy, I met him in the VI at a friends house. I invited him to come visit me home for a weekend and set up some gigs for him. Motherfucker wouldn't leave. Had no $. I already told him before he came that there were not regular sustainable gigs like that but just an occasional one off. 5 months later almost all my $ have run out from having to pay everything for 2. The shit really hit the fan when we were out to lunch at this jazz spot where the plates are HUGE and not only did he have the nerve to complain about having to share a plate but he destroyed the fish cuase he didn't know how to split it. I ended up throwing the fish in his face and leaving his ass there. There are way too many other incidents to mention. Damn, broke ass and high maintenance do not belong in the same sentence. :hmm:
Click to expand...



Oh, Dang, this spot(SOL) is definitely a better read than the rest of the other spots.......I'm still crackin' over what happened, LOL
 
UnoBetter2 said:
717jpmc.jpg


NOW CMON, YOU GOTTA BE KITTIN, SISTA'S THESE DAY'S DONT WONT NO BROKE AZZ HOMELESS NINJA, SHHAYIT! PLUS THAT MAFUKA HAD GOOD HAIR, THATS WHY SHE BROUGHT HIM HOME!! SISTAS LOVE A NINJA WIT GOOD HAIR!! I COULD HEAR HER SAYIN TO HER GIRRL FRIENDS RIGHT NOW "HE WAS HOMELESS BUT HE SHO WAS FINE WITH THAT GOOD HAIR"!!!
Click to expand...

I thought Tyler Perry was homeless himself? as well as this one R&B singer that had come out recently
 
bigirl said:
I have been in the situation before where I have gotten involved with a broke ass man and was stuck having to carry him financially. I never want to be in that position again. WAY too much stress. Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't want a "sugar daddy" neither. Just someone who can pull their own weight.

One musician guy, I met him in the VI at a friends house. I invited him to come visit me home for a weekend and set up some gigs for him. Motherfucker wouldn't leave. Had no $. I already told him before he came that there were not regular sustainable gigs like that but just an occasional one off. 5 months later almost all my $ have run out from having to pay everything for 2. The shit really hit the fan when we were out to lunch at this jazz spot where the plates are HUGE and not only did he have the nerve to complain about having to share a plate but he destroyed the fish cuase he didn't know how to split it. I ended up throwing the fish in his face and leaving his ass there. There are way too many other incidents to mention. Damn, broke ass and high maintenance do not belong in the same sentence. :hmm:
Click to expand...

:lol:funny to read but hell to be in! been there done that and never again!
 
lilsexii said:
It's possible. There's a difference between a hardworking man who chose to do something that doesn't make much money (teaching, blue collar work) vs. a lazy azz nigga. Lazy is a no-go :smh:
Click to expand...

Co-sign. I don't mind if you're broke but your doing what you gotta do. But if your broke because you have no ambition, no realistic goals for yourself ("I'm saying ma, I'm shopping this demo, something's gonna jump off soon") I can't stick around :smh:
 
Honestly its not a big deal, long as you are self sufficient and he is not asking for anything. I miss my model quality, good hearted man from long ago. He was broke but smart, loving and willing, I was driven and would not pause for him, I miss that dude...:(
 
Da Don said:
sometimes you have to make those decisions. you can't let anyone hinder you from achieving what ya want, people come and go.....
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No doubt, it was a survival type mechanism, but with affairs of the heart, there are those who stand out. Which is why, I was probably to look the other way for 2years of him being broke. We didn't need money to have a good time and he was there to reassure me, saying shhh, it's going to be okay...
 
I'm torn right down the middle on this subject.

As a man, It's in my nature to provide. Back in the day, women didn't have shit and their families didn't have shit, so the requirements for a brother weren't as demanding. Back then, If you could at least get her out of the hood and in a little house with picket fence and a fido, you're straight.

Now, most of these women come from the same homes YOU come from, and every generation should be doing better than their parents. Basically, if she came from a lower/middle class home, she'll AT LEAST want that, and that's not all that unreasonable.

Here's where the problems come: The middle class has been almost completely annihilated since the latter half of the bush administration. With the U.S. sharply divided into haves and have nots, ie, those living on credit from check to check and those living with surpluss, that puts us - black men - in shitty assed situations.

Combine that with the well-known fact that black women are presented more job opportunities because they are considered less threatening to their white male bosses, then you have a Willie Lynch-level recipe for a battle of the sexes. Even if a man is working, he's often UNDEREMPLOYED to at least meet the standards of her parents set at the same age, and he DEFINITELY doesn't meet those standards shaped by what she's seeing on television.

So if this question is will a woman Romance without finance, I genuinely believe that a woman will *say* yes, but not really understand that she won't commit to something like that.

Femme, when you used the Ashford and Simpson example, baby those days are done. In the 70's black folks were helping each other up, weren't as color struck (African Americans experimenting with their blackness and marrying pure Africans), and were both at the bottom of the financial totem pole together.

Nowadays? Even with him having a somewhat decent job, the standards of the modern black women are even higher than that of her contemporary Hispanic or White female counterpart. Basically, the brother is being put on a HIGHER expectancy measurement than a non-black man of the same age.

And that shit ain't right.

Good luck, brothers. In the new millennium, if you ain't got no cash, that's yo' ass. :smh:
 
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