Random thoughts me and my girl talk about

[nawlinsn931]

recently me and my lady went a week with no sex because she wasnt n the mood cause of other issues and she couldn't understand y i was so angry all the time and frustrated. i tried to get her to understand that for men if u care bout your woman, u aint cheatin, the sex is damn good, and u have it damn near everytime u get around each oter if u get cut off it raises a red flag. she says men think that they are entitled to sex or a woman is obligated to give it to them. i told her if its a part of the relationship u just dont cut a man off that causes problems. she said i havent done anything wrong and i responded y am i gettin punished then? we argued for 2 days but came to an understanding.i told her that men look at sex as a form of appreciation and kinda like a reward for being a good man. and we all know if a man stops givin his woman sex for a week just saying he aint in the mood a woman automatically thinks hes cheating but a man aint supposed to think the same. just wantd to get the ladies thoughts on that

 

[HoneyBerry]

recently me and my lady went a week with no sex because she wasnt n the mood cause of other issues and she couldn't understand y i was so angry all the time and frustrated. i tried to get her to understand that for men if u care bout your woman, u aint cheatin, the sex is damn good, and u have it damn near everytime u get around each oter if u get cut off it raises a red flag. she says men think that they are entitled to sex or a woman is obligated to give it to them. i told her if its a part of the relationship u just dont cut a man off that causes problems. she said i havent done anything wrong and i responded y am i gettin punished then? we argued for 2 days but came to an understanding.i told her that men look at sex as a form of appreciation and kinda like a reward for being a good man. and we all know if a man stops givin his woman sex for a week just saying he aint in the mood a woman automatically thinks hes cheating but a man aint supposed to think the same. just wantd to get the ladies thoughts on that

I definitely feel what you are saying. What if she physically & emotionally could not go through with sex? Would a blow job have been good enough for you?

 

[lilsexii]

It's definitely a sign of SOMEthing. Sex is a healthy part of a healthy relationship. It's something you share as part of your commitment to each other. This is reminiscent of that thread where we were talking about how some women use sex as a weapon or bargaining tool. Maybe there's something she wants to change and she's acting out (knowingly or not). Maybe she wants to get married and she's feeling like you're not thinking about it as long as you're getting everything you want (just a thought) OR it may have nothing to do with you at all. She could be worried about something else altogether. For instance, the holidays bring out weird emotions for a lot of people - family memories, deceased loved ones, the new year bring out concerns about accomplishments and shortcomings, etc. It could be a million things, but the bottom line is that ya'll need some real dialogue. It's not really about the sex...

 

[nawlinsn931]

a blow job would have been fantaboulous but the problem is that her people stress her out and we dont'get our own place till next month plus her friends aren't happy for her so really she's under alot of stress she's not cheatin though and we spend time together its just that she has alot on her mind i just wanted to have sex as a stress relief

 

[HoneyBerry]

a blow job would have been fantaboulous but the problem is that her people stress her out and we dont'get our own place till next month plus her friends aren't happy for her so really she's under alot of stress she's not cheatin though and we spend time together its just that she has alot on her mind i just wanted to have sex as a stress relief

I see. Sometimes it's not easy for us to get in the mood. I know if I have too much going on in my life, I can be an ice cube. Well I'm proud of you for at least letting her know how you feel when she doesn't get physical with you. Keep trying to talk it out with her and you might just have to take care of yourself for a little while until you & her situation gets better

 

[lilsexii]

a blow job would have been fantaboulous but the problem is that her people stress her out and we dont'get our own place till next month plus her friends aren't happy for her so really she's under alot of stress she's not cheatin though and we spend time together its just that she has alot on her mind i just wanted to have sex as a stress relief

There u go...if you can, surprise her and get a hotel room so ya'll can have some privacy. Don't pressure her for sex, but just remove her from the element for a while (a lil pampering couldn't hurt). I bet she'd appreciate that

 

[nawlinsn931]

i took her out to eat and we went to the movies but still wound up arguing its like she gets happy and then remembers that she has to go back to her moms

 

[sizzlelater]

obviously you love you women or you wouldn't be wondering what's wrong. 1st you have to get your on place. if she still being distance looK at your second problem. HER FRIENDS! i'm not hating but women friends are very influential. if they think you aint shit, guess what they're telling her.

now your first problem is about over. what is your plan of attack for your second.

i hate to be underhanded but you have to win her friends over. you're going to have to get one of her friends on your side by sharing a surprise with them.
if you haven't found a place yet get one of her friends to help you find one. are talk to one and tell them you want to do something special for her and you need some help. the moral is get them to understand how you feel for her.

if you love her do what you got to. if it don't matter move on.

 

[lilsexii]

obviously you love you women or you wouldn't be wondering what's wrong. 1st you have to get your on place. if she still being distance looK at your second problem. HER FRIENDS! i'm not hating but women friends are very influential. if they think you aint shit, guess what they're telling her.

now your first problem is about over. what is your plan of attack for your second.

i hate to be underhanded but you have to win her friends over. you're going to have to get one of her friends on your side by sharing a surprise with them.
if you haven't found a place yet get one of her friends to help you find one. are talk to one and tell them you want to do something special for her and you need some help. the moral is get them to understand how you feel for her.

if you love her do what you got to. if it don't matter move on.

Yeah - I have to co-sign on this one in general. Unfortunately, girlfriends (and homeboys) have unnecessarily caused many a breakup. Some of the time they're right, but when its a good thing, once they can see/believe that they're good for each other, they'll leave their girl/boy alone about their mate. Many times its not malicious - they just love them and want what's best for them.

 

[YouLikeMyStyle]

a blow job would have been fantaboulous but the problem is that her people stress her out and we dont'get our own place till next month plus her friends aren't happy for her so really she's under alot of stress she's not cheatin though and we spend time together its just that she has alot on her mind i just wanted to have sex as a stress relief

it was only a week...calm down...and yall dont have your own place. Come on...be a little more understanding. I'm sure she thought you came across as selfish.

 

[thighsneyez22]

this is a weird thought... maybe she see's you unconsciously as apart of the problem... thinking something like, "this n!gga right here sees that I dont like my housing situation, why isnt he doing more to get me out of it...I dont see why I am giving him anything in terms of my body...if he can't see that I am unhappy and make my problems his problems and work towards fixing them."

It sounds like your girl is not necessarily financially stable so if she is doesn't have options in terms of her living situation because of her financial situation, then she might be playing the blame game in her head and thinking...another dude maybe could have helped me out...

...just a weird thought...

 

[HoneyDip]

try takin some of the stressful thoughts off her mind. Take her out or cook for her. make her feel more relaxed.

 

[Noir]

recently me and my lady went a week with no sex because she wasnt n the mood cause of other issues and she couldn't understand y i was so angry all the time and frustrated. i tried to get her to understand that for men if u care bout your woman, u aint cheatin, the sex is damn good, and u have it damn near everytime u get around each oter if u get cut off it raises a red flag. she says men think that they are entitled to sex or a woman is obligated to give it to them. i told her if its a part of the relationship u just dont cut a man off that causes problems. she said i havent done anything wrong and i responded y am i gettin punished then? we argued for 2 days but came to an understanding.i told her that men look at sex as a form of appreciation and kinda like a reward for being a good man. and we all know if a man stops givin his woman sex for a week just saying he aint in the mood a woman automatically thinks hes cheating but a man aint supposed to think the same. just wantd to get the ladies thoughts on that

I think that you need to have another conversation with your girl and find out exactly the reasons that she is currently troubled. Also, you need to support her and to stop implicitly blaming her (see RED) for not having sex for a week (which is really not a long drought). Showing you care for her emotional well being and helping to address the problems will go a long way to bonding the two of you more and bringing the both of back to feeling intimate again.

 

[Chicutie]

I agree with what others have said. Be there for her during on her stressful time. It's hard to focus on someone else's need when you are having issues. It is understandable. Being there for her and being patient is the best thing you could do.

 

[Jam_Jam]

Someone told me a long time ago that for men, sex = love. This would imply that because your woman is withholding sex, she is withholding love. Men automatically assume that a woman who decides to hold out on sex must be seeing another man, i.e., giving the "love" to someone else. This is a huge misconception on the part of the male species. If she wants to take a week off from sex don't assume it is because of you (or her lack of interest in you). I heard that there are two ways to a man's heart. One is through his stomach and the other hangs right below his stomach. I have come to believe that latter is more accurate in the case of most men.

 

[KW13537]

this is a weird thought... maybe she see's you unconsciously as apart of the problem... thinking something like, "this n!gga right here sees that I dont like my housing situation, why isnt he doing more to get me out of it...I dont see why I am giving him anything in terms of my body...if he can't see that I am unhappy and make my problems his problems and work towards fixing them."

It sounds like your girl is not necessarily financially stable so if she is doesn't have options in terms of her living situation because of her financial situation, then she might be playing the blame game in her head and thinking...another dude maybe could have helped me out...

...just a weird thought...

While I don't necessarily disagree, it seems to me that the lack of communication was the real problem. She wasn't feeling right for whatever reason and he should be trying to help her get right (in her head). I have found that women can really get in a negative space when stressed. If it's the housing situation, then the concentration should be on "what can WE do to get out of here", not "he's not doing enough to get me out of here". Only weak women go that route. If as a man you need to step up your game financially, then bust your ass and handle your business. But when handling problems in a relationship, first look to yourself to see if you are the problem (or just contributing to it). If not, then attack it from a "we" perspective. Then ask "Baby, what do you think can make this situation better?" Then work on it together to eliminate the problem. You have to "Bonnie & Clyde" it.

 

[nawlinsn931]

i was workin as bouncer at a club barely makin it but i been at a way better job and no longer do the club thing so that eliminates one problem and its not that sex=love but it depends on the sex u having in my opinion and like i said b4 its like a stess relief and i found out what it was partly her friends and the other part was that she felt like she was worthless to me because she's not working right now and wasn't helping me out financially im payin for everything but i NEVER THROW THAT IN HER FACE i told her theres parts to a relationship sex money time together communication etc if u take one part out it throws the rest off but we good now thanks for the help ladies

 

[Mo-Better]

a blow job would have been fantaboulous but the problem is that her people stress her out and we dont'get our own place till next month plus her friends aren't happy for her so really she's under alot of stress she's not cheatin though and we spend time together its just that she has alot on her mind i just wanted to have sex as a stress relief

I think this (the red area) is the root of the problem. Its not easy for some women to be their sexual-selves when sharing a dwelling with others, let's say inlaws.

You state there's influences from 2 outside sources family and friends. Although they all may mean well their words of advice are rarely favorable towards the man. That's why they got labeled the "War Counsel." Also why many relationships and marrages fail, negative outside influences.

Relationships can be tough without meddling from other so-called well wishers. So you need to talk with her because she's confused right now and you may need to reassure her of where she stands.

 

[femmenoire]

So what if there weren't any other elements involved and she just didn't feel like it?

You'd have a problem with that?

 

[BrownTurd]

recently me and my lady went a week with no sex because she wasnt n the mood cause of other issues and she couldn't understand y i was so angry all the time and frustrated. i tried to get her to understand that for men if u care bout your woman, u aint cheatin, the sex is damn good, and u have it damn near everytime u get around each oter if u get cut off it raises a red flag. she says men think that they are entitled to sex or a woman is obligated to give it to them. i told her if its a part of the relationship u just dont cut a man off that causes problems. she said i havent done anything wrong and i responded y am i gettin punished then? we argued for 2 days but came to an understanding.i told her that men look at sex as a form of appreciation and kinda like a reward for being a good man. and we all know if a man stops givin his woman sex for a week just saying he aint in the mood a woman automatically thinks hes cheating but a man aint supposed to think the same. just wantd to get the ladies thoughts on that

You will never get sex consistently by saying you deserve it. I know as a man I want sex all the time but you have to be careful when you confront your woman about it. A womans Vagina is all she has. Society judges her so harshly by what she does with her Vagina. So giving her body to a man is a big deal. Sounds like your girl is simply stressed and depressed. This can cause a person to not be in a romantic mood. If you truly love her a week without sex is nothing. From your post I question your true love for her. Sex is a privilege for being together and not a right.

From your post you made it seem as if she stop having sex you would get angry and leave. Do you love her or the sex. Woman don't forget!!!! even though you talked it over with her she still remembered what you said. Keep doing what you doing and you will open the door for the next guy who will play the understanding role. You should not have said anything. All you had to do was ask if something was wrong because her routine has changed. She would have opened up to you

 

[nawlinsn931]

1.if there was no real reason and she didn't communicate then yea i wouldve left dont leave me to answer questions on my own but we talked and talked and i listened and listend we came to an agreement and we both understand each other now
2.i love her not just the sex but like i said u don't take one part out of a relationship and not expect it to suffer fuck that 80%bs
3.all a woman has is not her vagina if thats all she brings to the table then thats how she will be judged and treated.
4.i found out the reason was that my baby was pregnant so i'm happy we can go for months without with news like that

 

[bigirl]

A womans Vagina is all she has.

Go eat yourself turd

 

[BrownTurd]

Go eat yourself turd

it is true. A woman can be Smart. Intelligent, beautiful, career minded, and financially stable. Let her fuck around alot and all the attributes I have stated would be null and void. At least 99% of men would not want anything to do with her. Most females would call her a hoe.

No the flip side to all of this is a man can do the same thing but society does not hold him accountable for his actions and simply says "a man will be a man"

A womans mis use of the pussy can be her downfall.