No its not being selfish, it that we learn about our mortality through the death of people we connect with.. In a sense a part of us also dies when they die.. By asking how they died, is almost like inquiring how they coped or delt with their death, and ultimately it may help us all when we get to the point when we are ready to die..
I think what most of us want to know is, did he know he was dying or was it sudden, because if he knew he sure was brave, strong and courageous about it, if it was sudden we can only hope and pray he did not suffer..
But for every love one we lose we gain a bit of wisdom, this is why I urge the youth to listen to their elders, because many of us over 40 have a lifetime of loss and pain, that can be used to guide the next generation to help them not only in their time of pain, but also to help them avoid some of the mistakes that many of us have fallen victim to..