question regarding rape

Adam Knows

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black woman, white husband.

black woman already had a daughter age 3 at the time when they got married.

over the years as the girl got older, the white guy would molest her, by making her give him hand jobs or he would do things when he got older like go up her dress if she was say laying down in front of the tv.

fast forward 30 something years.

mother has a stroke. daughter moves in for a while to help mother recuperate.

white step father begins drilling holes and mounting cameras in places to watch her when she's in her room or in the bathroom.

he's caught when she is in the bathroom and keeps seeing a lights source flicker on the door. (keyhole) she rushes to open the door and he falls through crouched.

he cries and apolizizes and for some reason she forgives him all for the sake of not hurting her mothers feelings.

fast forward 5 years later. she tells me this as well as several other incidents from men. by the time she was 10 she had been molested by 3 men. as an adult she was voyeured by one and raped by another (whom i had the pleasure of beathing down the african when i met him 2 years ago.)


this is my question. it all came out into the light recently. her brothers, her cousins, family, etc. now know.

why is she defending this idiot?


my part in all of this? i'm the one that told. i'm the one that put it beyond reasonable doubt into her family members heads. small insignificant things are what put it together between them as we talked...

things like;

he bought her a radio after the voyeur incident to listen to at work (one cousin remembers how she that how odd that was to just buy a grown woman a transistor radio)

holes in the apt (son remembers the holes)

she confided bits and pieces of the voyeur incident to one of her cousins and she confirmed what i said she just didn't know the whole story.
 
and like i said before she was molested by 3 men before she was 10

in preschool theres was an old guy that worked at the nursery with a gold tooth...she said she had asked the guy how to get a gold tooth, he took her into a room and had her perform oral sex upon him (a 5 year old) several occasions telling her that's how you get a gold tooth


the other incident was with a male babysitter when she was around 7. it was the paperboy the mom paid one day to babysit her and he use to dry hump her.
 
There may be something going on emotionally. Its a pyschological thing trust me,so don't think any different of her because of it. Rape really messes you up emotionally and she may never stop defending him:(
 
MOD EDIT

Acts of rape are a serious thing not taken lightly.
If you have nothing to add to this thread do NOT
enter again. :hmm:



Peace
 
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Im going to make sure you get banned for that remark dumb ass.You fucking act like she deserved it or some shit
 
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There may be something going on emotionally. Its a pyschological thing trust me,so don't think any different of her because of it. Rape really messes you up emotionally and she may never stop defending him:(

very true sis :smh: her scars are too deeply embedded.
 
The best thing anyone can do for her is get her some sort of counseling:smh:. She has been emotionally, mentally and physically bruised. There isnt much you or her family can do for her. Even if (and I hope it happens) the mom leaves the step dad...She is left w/ all of that baggage..A sad situation, but she can overcome it.
 
I didnt see what absolut wrote...i kinda wish i did, but more glad i didn't

rape is so serious and i feel for those people who have been violated. women are truly preyed on in a lot of situations and it's underestimated by men & women both
 
She might be defending him because that's the only father she knows. She also might be worried about making enemies with her mom. When it comes right down to it the prospect of going through life without parents is pretty damn scary, no matter how old or independent you are. Sometimes it can be a lot worse then actually holding them accountable for all of the things they did.
 
She might be defending him because that's the only father she knows. She also might be worried about making enemies with her mom. When it comes right down to it the prospect of going through life without parents is pretty damn scary, no matter how old or independent you are. Sometimes it can be a lot worse then actually holding them accountable for all of the things they did.

Co-sign....

Me and a friend of mine got into a heated discussion about rape last night. People fail to understand that sometimes its hard to just get over it, no matter how many years.

I also think she is scared to face it for what it really is. She is afraid that people will look at her and treat her differently. Especially when she has thoughts of "maybe I should have told", or "why did it keep happening to me". It's hard to relive and come through and be judged.
 
why is she defending this idiot?

he's her father. in her eyes. and people make mistakes, at least that's probably how she sees it. but i know not too much of this topic just IMO
 
Co-sign....



I also think she is scared to face it for what it really is. She is afraid that people will look at her and treat her differently. Especially when she has thoughts of "maybe I should have told", or "why did it keep happening to me". It's hard to relive and come through and be judged.

i think you are correct in this assumption because i spoke to her today and she's already stated she either wants to move where i'm at or to florida.
 
It really saddens me to hear this.

A relative of mine was repeatedly molested by her stepfather... then assaulted twice in her teen years on 2 separate occasions by 2 diff. men (they're both in jail and I hope they STAY there). She's gone thru alot of emotional soul searching... she's spiritually forgiven her stepfather and her mom but will never forget. I CAN'T forgive HIM... the mom ... I feel sorry for her b/c she seems not to really comprehend her decisions and actions by staying with that piece of shit. She was doing SO well too... being apart from him for about 2 yrs... lost weight... cut down on her smoking... BUT... now she's back with the bastard... he's "changed"... but everytime I see him... I have to hold back and fight the urge to beat his old ass. I've surpassed his skill level (he taught kung fu) but Whenever I see him, it's ALWAYS in a public place or where there's other ppl that could get hurt. muffucka!!!

the relative, she's doing VERY well... got her doctorate... married to a good man... has 3 kids... I'm very proud of her...

I will pray for your friend, brother.
 
CO-SIGN to all of the excellent points above.

This is what makes rape such a horrible crime. IT IS NOT ABOUT SEX, it goes much deeper than that.

The effects of a rape can affect the victim's self-esteem, sense of reality, emotionality, psychology, and the list goes on . . .

The victim from the OP's post suffers even more because the abuse came from a parent, whom children generally love unconditionally and feel can do not wrong. Then she is abused more by other adults, who children generally are socialized that the are to be trusted.

I hope this victim can begin to reclaim a semblance of her life through counseling and support from those that truly care for her well-being in her life.
 
i have a friend that was raped, and her outlook was this, she said she's not a victim because she did nothing wrong. he violated her, and rather than feeling helpless about it, of course she had him prosecuted and sent to jail for life, since this wasn't ole dude's first rape.

so to any woman that's been raped, remember you did nothing to bring it upon yourself, so while you may feel guilty for whatever reason, remember keep your head up and never let the rapist kill your spirit.

I know i'm not a woman and all, but i feel women need to understand that you all can't blame yourselves for something that a rapist has done to you. It's not your fault he's sick, it's not your fault he chose you, and it's not your fault that "he's" the one with inadquencies and low self esteem forcing himself on you to committ a vile act.

I know i sound preachy but if my girl can hold her head up, then i want other rape victims to do the same, cause once again, it's not your fault.

all rapists, should die slow gruesome deaths :mad:
 
i don't know what to do on this one...

i was "officially" told not to contact her again. she'd rather live a lie. what's even more fucked up is the fact one of her brothers always knew and won't say anything. her oldest brother me and him got into an argument because he thinks i'm lying and have some ulterior motive as to tell him, plus he can't cope with the fact she told me and never told him. her ony cousin and aunt believes me because of things that i said in the story that they knew were true because of small detail i knew about that i shouldn't. her mom is ignorantly oblivious....

i'd really hate to lose a friend/partner but nothing i can do.
 
This is so weird because I know someone who was/is in this exact situation.

Mom gets remarried has three kids. New husband ends up sleeping with the youngest girl while the mom is at work. She ends up with a two kids a year after her brother is born...

Fast forward; chick moves out but moves back in after her mom dies.



Needless to say the mind is a damn mystery. Do what you can as support but trying to figure it out might kill ya.
 
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