Question For Black Women

DaTakeOver

DaTakeOver

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I have a question to ask you ladies, regarding the comment about "70% of Black women are single in America". My question is, do you all really believe that's true? Or do you believe this is possibly racist propaganda that racist white society is trying to create? What I mean is, I don't know if it's me, but the indication I get when I hear "70% of Black women are single" seems to have a bad connotation to it. Meaning, society seems to make it look like, as if Black women are not marriage material, uncompromising and the subliminal message seems to be, if you want a mate to settle down with, get you a non-Black woman instead.

Besides, how can anyone say these statics are actually correct? Because society has ways of throwing things in your face, and doing so repeatedly, to where the majority of the people become convinced, that what they see and hear all the time is "truth".

Plus, we all know, it's no secret either that racist white society views Black people (both men/women) as public enemy #1 anyways, therefore they will do what they can to keep us down and divided. They do so, by creating these agendas, and having people convinced that anything negative pertaining to Black people is true. The stereotypes of Black men not going to college, and most of them are in jail, type of jargon. It makes you wonder, what's really going on. So again, what is everyone's take on this?
 
Some black woman are single because they are not to bright when it comes to relationships with men
 
blackmarriagestatistics-4b082zm2s.jpeg




i found this on the Census gov't website

WE THE PEOPLE: BLACKS IN THE UNITED STATES

http://www.census.gov/prod/2005pubs/censr-25.pdf


its not as bad as its claimed....this show shows how u can "manipulate" stats for ur agenda.

if u add up the women that have never been married along w/ the separate, the widowed and so on THEN you will get about 70%


so hopefully this will put this question in perspective
 
BrownTurd said:
Some black woman are single because they are not to bright when it comes to relationships with men
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:rolleyes:

jucurious said:
blackmarriagestatistics-4b082zm2s.jpeg




i found this on the Census gov't website

WE THE PEOPLE: BLACKS IN THE UNITED STATES

http://www.census.gov/prod/2005pubs/censr-25.pdf


its not as bad as its claimed....this show shows how u can "manipulate" stats for ur agenda.

if u add up the women that have never been married along w/ the separate, the widowed and so on THEN you will get about 70%


so hopefully this will put this question in perspective
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If you're not married, you are single. So the statistics is pretty much correct.
 
DaTakeOver said:
I have a question to ask you ladies, regarding the comment about "70% of Black women are single in America". My question is, do you all really believe that's true? Or do you believe this is possibly racist propaganda that racist white society is trying to create? What I mean is, I don't know if it's me, but the indication I get when I hear "70% of Black women are single" seems to have a bad connotation to it. Meaning, society seems to make it look like, as if Black women are not marriage material, uncompromising and the subliminal message seems to be, if you want a mate to settle down with, get you a non-Black woman instead.
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LD the bold is what i was addressing....if u add up the married, divorced, widowed and separated....a good portion of black women are/were married at some point in time. :rolleyes:
 
jucurious said:
LD the bold is what i was addressing....if u add up the married, divorced, widowed and separated....a good portion of black women are/were married at some point in time. :rolleyes:
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That's wasn't the point of the stat and you know it. The stat (and the discussion behind it) originated from Oprah's show that was basically stating that 70% of women are single. Not that they haven't been married, not anything else, except for that RIGHT NOW they are not married.
 
LeroyDibiase said:
That's wasn't the point of the stat and you know it. The stat (and the discussion behind it) originated from Oprah's show that was basically stating that 70% of women are single. Not that they haven't been married, not anything else, except for that RIGHT NOW they are not married.
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here we go again

1) i don't watch Oprah so I don't know where it originated from
2) i addressed it in the context of THIS conversation...you know the OP...not LD or Oprah

this is gettin tired...go troll somewhere else lol
 
jucurious said:
here we go again

1) i don't watch Oprah so I don't know where it originated from
2) i addressed it in the context of THIS conversation...you know the OP...not LD or Oprah

this is gettin tired...go troll somewhere else lol
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No one's trolling. I love it when people bring that out. We're having a discussion. I was explaining to you the origin of the whole discussion about 70% of Black women are single. I'm "trolling" because I don't agree with you? :rolleyes: The OP asked if the stats were correct or where they racist propaganda to divide us. You claimed it wasn't as bad as it seemed. I pointed out that the stats you posted show that the number of 70% single IS correct, regardless of what status they HAD in the past. The part in bold is reflected, for the most part, in the stats you posted. The part about getting with a non-white woman has not been addressed in THIS thread at all. If it comes up, I would like to have a discussion about that too because I somewhat feel that way.

But I'm "trolling"....:smh:
 
interracialmarriages-4b098asy7.jpeg


this is what i could find....here's the source that wiki posted

# ^ Table FG4. Married Couple Family Groups, by Presence of Own Children/1 In Specific Age Groups, and Age, Earnings, Education, and Race and Hispanic Origin/2 of Both Spouses: 2006, <http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/hh-fam/cps2006.html>

i went to the same website but the info is scattered so they put it together...i didn't want to post it cuz wiki is a lil shakey but ehhh
 
jucurious said:
interracialmarriages-4b098asy7.jpeg


this is what i could find....here's the source that wiki posted

# ^ Table FG4. Married Couple Family Groups, by Presence of Own Children/1 In Specific Age Groups, and Age, Earnings, Education, and Race and Hispanic Origin/2 of Both Spouses: 2006, <http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/hh-fam/cps2006.html>

i went to the same website but the info is scattered so they put it together...i didn't want to post it cuz wiki is a lil shakey but ehhh
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This means...? This correlates...?
 
LeroyDibiase said:
This means...? This correlates...?
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It seems to show that black men are 3-4 times more likely to marry outside their "race" than black women are (as a percentage of their intra-racial marriages), which naturally reduces a black woman's "marriage" options. White men don't marry outside their "race"as often as black men either, which also doesn't help black women. A black woman's loyalty leaves her stuck with limited options. Under these circumstances, carving out a life as a SINGLE person makes sense, especially since black women who are not stuck raising children alone and have completed their education, are more successful financially than white women and comparable to white men (e.g. Condi Rice, ...etc).
 
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Blunt said:
It seems to show that black men are 3-4 times as likely to marry outside their "race" than black women are, which naturally reduces a black woman's "marriage" options. White men don't marry outside their "race"as often as black men either, which also doesn't help black women. A black woman's loyalty leaves her stuck with limited marriage options.
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Or it can be interpreted that Black men are cross-race compatible and Black women are not which increases the likelihood of interracial marriages. Nowhere in that chart can it be extrapolate that Black men intentionally seek out women of other races. Nor do they say that Black women are, for the most part, incompatible with other races. The numbers are the numbers, my friend. The numbers are the numbers.
 
My issue with any discussion on why black women are single is that it's never looked at as a whole. When I see the stat that 70% of black women aren't married, I think that black PEOPLE need to get their family lives together. I think about how our families were broken up long ago. I also think about how it's cool to have babies out of wedlock and how people look at me crazy because I'm 27 and childless.

The issue I have with the OP is that he automatically takes the view and asks if we think it makes us (black women) look bad. That's his first thought. He didn't frame this question as an issue for the black community.

When I first heard that stat I didn't think it made me look bad at all.

It shows that issues in relationships are ALWAYS put on women, which is why someone made that comment that we're not "too bright" when it comes to relationships. Yes, they are many women who aren't so smart when it comes to relationships. But guess what, that goes both ways. Men f*ck up, women f*ck up, you learn, fix your issues and move on. It's as if one black woman's mistake in one relationship colors all black women everywhere.
 
YouLikeMyStyle said:
My issue with any discussion on why black women are single is that it's never looked at as a whole. When I see the stat that 70% of black women aren't married, I think that black PEOPLE need to get their family lives together. I think about how our families were broken up long ago. I also think about how it's cool to have babies out of wedlock and how people look at me crazy because I'm 27 and childless.

The issue I have with the OP is that he automatically takes the view and asks if we think it makes us (black women) look bad. That's his first thought. He didn't frame this question as an issue for the black community.

When I first heard that stat I didn't think it made me look bad at all.

It shows that issues in relationships are ALWAYS put on women, which is why someone made that comment that we're not "too bright" when it comes to relationships. Yes, they are many women who aren't so smart when it comes to relationships. But guess what, that goes both ways. Men f*ck up, women f*ck up, you learn, fix your issues and move on. It's as if one black woman's mistake in one relationship colors all black women everywhere.
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Nothing else needs to be said.
 
Brilliant dialogue, just brilliant. There may be some hope for us after all.

Like many of you, I travel in circles of professional (Master's level and above) black women. I haven't taken any stats, but anectdotally it appears that most of them are single (like LD, I don't even want to get into the never married/was married dispute- they are single now). Some of them are the most decent, well tempered, witty, and stable people you would want to meet (fine as shit, too). Some of them are absolute fucking lunatics (also fine). I know several in their late 30s early 40s- gorgeous- who have never been married. I know them pretty well, and from what I see they don't appear to have overtly lofty expectations for guys- as long as he keeps an honest job he's a candidate.

Bottom line (before LD gives me a Colin) is that I haven't the faintest fucking idea what's going on, and would welcome insight from either sex. I'm doing fine, because there is a steady supply of willing partners, but I do have concerns about the long term interests of our people when so many apparently good women do not have mates.

Comments???
 
Robeson said:
Brilliant dialogue, just brilliant. There may be some hope for us after all.

Like many of you, I travel in circles of professional (Master's level and above) black women. I haven't taken any stats, but anectdotally it appears that most of them are single (like LD, I don't even want to get into the never married/was married dispute- they are single now). Some of them are the most decent, well tempered, witty, and stable people you would want to meet (fine as shit, too). Some of them are absolute fucking lunatics (also fine). I know several in their late 30s early 40s- gorgeous- who have never been married. I know them pretty well, and from what I see they don't appear to have overtly lofty expectations for guys- as long as he keeps an honest job he's a candidate.

Bottom line (before LD gives me a Colin) is that I haven't the faintest fucking idea what's going on, and would welcome insight from either sex. I'm doing fine, because there is a steady supply of willing partners, but I do have concerns about the long term interests of our people when so many apparently good women do not have mates.

Comments???
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I know women like that and have noticed that most of the reason they dont have a man is that some dont make themselves open to meet people. Not to say they are mean or talk down to people but alot of them dont make themselves open to anybody outside their circle.

And I have noticed the women that SAY they will accept a regular guy but you will never see them with one.​
 
Crown&Coke said:
I know women like that and have noticed that most of the reason they dont have a man is that some dont make themselves open to meet people. Not to say they are mean or talk down to people but alot of them dont make themselves open to anybody outside their circle.

And I have noticed the women that SAY they will accept a regular guy but you will never see them with one.​
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This may be true of the women you know, and may be true for some of the ones I know, but I have watched several of them extend themselves for years, combing the brush for a decent guy for a relationship. Nice looking women, too. Oh they could get dick, no problem there. But a serious relationship was another issue. And I mean dames with money, education, social standing- the whole nine. Damn...

Seventy percent seems awfully high to me, but who's to say it is?
 
YouLikeMyStyle said:
My issue with any discussion on why black women are single is that it's never looked at as a whole. When I see the stat that 70% of black women aren't married, I think that black PEOPLE need to get their family lives together. I think about how our families were broken up long ago. I also think about how it's cool to have babies out of wedlock and how people look at me crazy because I'm 27 and childless.

The issue I have with the OP is that he automatically takes the view and asks if we think it makes us (black women) look bad. That's his first thought. He didn't frame this question as an issue for the black community.

When I first heard that stat I didn't think it made me look bad at all.
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We draw different inferences from the OP's question, which is just fine. I didn't see him as necessarily accepting the stat a valid, or even if the stat is valid, that it necessarily puts black women in a bad light. Even if the stat is accurate, there could be all kinds of reasons for it that have nothing to do with the marriagability of black women.

I understand your reflex in warding off potential slights (as black folks, we have a lot of practice in warding off slights), but I read his words a little differently. As I said, though, I am curious why it appears so many apparently family-ready black females are single. And I am telling you explictly that I am not assuming this is due to some deficiency in black women (though I have my suspicions LOL)
 
Robeson said:
This may be true of the women you know, and may be true for some of the ones I know, but I have watched several of them extend themselves for years, combing the brush for a decent guy for a relationship. Nice looking women, too. Oh they could get dick, no problem there. But a serious relationship was another issue. And I mean dames with money, education, social standing- the whole nine. Damn...

Seventy percent seems awfully high to me, but who's to say it is?
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I dont think the number is that high. 70% seems crazy. It may just be the women I know but everybody is different so you never know.​
 
There are issues to be worked on both sides.

Black women should work on: being more open; letting go of the ideal black man (IBM), which is a professional, tall, dark & handsome perfect man; not being so hard on black men; being willing to date someone not on their professional level; getting therapy to get over their existing issues toward men (which usually stems from not having a father); respect the black man's struggle

Black men should work on: not resenting black women for their "success" in college, jobs, etc.; getting into college; getting therapy to get over their existing issues toward women (mostly risen in single parent female lead households where they were the king/man of the house); realize that times are changing and that women can bring something to the table besides the ability to have kids; respect the black woman's struggle

(These are not meant to be all-inclusive lists)

I think respect is a huge issue between black men & women. Black women resent black men because our struggle with racism and civil rights has always been told through the man's eyes. Issues specific to the black female have never been at the forefront and are often ignored. This makes black women completely reject black men in many ways. I think we're messed up way more than we think or realize...
 
YouLikeMyStyle said:
There are issues to be worked on both sides.

Black women should work on: being more open; letting go of the ideal black man (IBM), which is a professional, tall, dark & handsome perfect man; not being so hard on black men; being willing to date someone not on their professional level; getting therapy to get over their existing issues toward men (which usually stems from not having a father); respect the black man's struggle

Black men should work on: not resenting black women for their "success" in college, jobs, etc.; getting into college; getting therapy to get over their existing issues toward women (mostly risen in single parent female lead households where they were the king/man of the house); realize that times are changing and that women can bring something to the table besides the ability to have kids; respect the black woman's struggle

(These are not meant to be all-inclusive lists)

I think respect is a huge issue between black men & women. Black women resent black men because our struggle with racism and civil rights has always been told through the man's eyes. Issues specific to the black female have never been at the forefront and are often ignored. This makes black women completely reject black men in many ways. I think we're messed up way more than we think or realize...
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I tried hard to come up with some profound, pretentiously philosophical reply to this, but I just can't. Your take pretty much sums it up. For all of the individual bullshit we see in each other, both sides pretty much have to grow the fuck up and deal with what is less than an ideal situation. You hit both sides pretty hard, but I think you were completely accurate in your take.

I kind of hate to say this (and never thought I would on this board), but I have nothing to add, and not the slightest contention with what you said...

uhhhhhh.... you "situated"???? LOL
 
propoganda?....maaaaybe....i dont put anything past people these days

but...i do believe that a great deal of black women are NOT in marriages...and that is the majority..70%...i dunno if its that high tho

what i find funny about this stat is that i have yet to see the stat of how many black men are married...now that might be revealing
 
Robeson said:
I tried hard to come up with some profound, pretentiously philosophical reply to this, but I just can't. Your take pretty much sums it up. For all of the individual bullshit we see in each other, both sides pretty much have to grow the fuck up and deal with what is less than an ideal situation. You hit both sides pretty hard, but I think you were completely accurate in your take.

I kind of hate to say this (and never thought I would on this board), but I have nothing to add, and not the slightest contention with what you said...

uhhhhhh.... you "situated"???? LOL
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LOL...thanks. I really try to be fair. I just can't stand talkin about marriage on only one side!
 
DeSiRe said:
what i find funny about this stat is that i have yet to see the stat of how many black men are married...now that might be revealing
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Fewer black men are married than any other male group. More black women have been married (at least once) than black men have.

The high rates of death, jail, disease and educational incompatablity for black men skew the marriage numbers for black women.
 
Blunt said:
Fewer black men are married than any other male group. More black women have been married (at least once) than black men have.

The high rates of death, jail, disease and educational incompatablity for black men skew the marriage numbers for black women.
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And all of the factors you cite except "educational incompatabilityh" are factors beyond the control of black women. No matter what they do, if they seek 1 on 1 relationships the arithmetic is against them. As for educational incompatability, I think many (most?) black women have accepted the probability that they will get a partner with less education than they have. If not, they had better (if they plan on settling down with a black man, that is). The numbers for black males in college are not rosy, and don't appear to be turning around any time soon. I know we have a bunch of hot shot engineers and IT types in here, but I can tell you factually they are the exception and not the norm. What we are going to do about educating black males is the subject for another thread, but somebody had better start addressing it...

Yet another very solid take. Why can't we be so civil in the other threads?
 
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ahh....this is what I love about stats, you can look at the same table of information and derive different conclusion based on your agenda.

I was posting that table b/c it showed that black men and women are marrying each other more than other races but BLUNT you are correct.

now we cannot confer why this happens but I was just presenting the facts.

and YouLikeMyStyle....you hit it RIGHT ON THE HEAD...*high five*
 
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