^
^
b
u
m
p
^
b
u
m
p
Post your funniest "strip club" experience.
- Thread starter Powerless_Controlfreak
- Start date
@ a little hole in the wall club with my boy and we see this deaf dude, his girl (also deaf) and his boy (not deaf). Anyways from what we can tell the two guys come there often and the deaf one always gets dances from this one dancer. The dancer comes over to him at the bar and walks him over into the makeshift private dance area (a closet with those old hard ass elementary school chairs and a bead curtain).
His girl gets mad and starts signing with the friend. She goes over to the curtain looks in and rushes the dancer and pulls her off her boyfriend! The dancer tries to fight the girl but the guy is between them holding them apart.
After it cooled down the girl starts cussing him out in sign language. It was the most furious signing I've ever seen in my life! The whole club is laughing as she cussed him out as they're leaving the club.
His girl gets mad and starts signing with the friend. She goes over to the curtain looks in and rushes the dancer and pulls her off her boyfriend! The dancer tries to fight the girl but the guy is between them holding them apart.
After it cooled down the girl starts cussing him out in sign language. It was the most furious signing I've ever seen in my life! The whole club is laughing as she cussed him out as they're leaving the club.
Another post-strip club funny moment was going to Club Warehouse in BK on NYE ages ago...wall to wall strippers...we fingered so many bitches that nite niggas hands was smelling like we went fishing and used our hands to grab fish...niggas was in my house smelling like a barrel of fish...one of my boys washed his hands twice w/ dish washing soap + some hot ass water and his hands was still smelling like pussy...nigga couldn't even go home to his gf
Yoooo! First I was like
then I was like 
but the whole time I was like Man I was in this hole in the wall joint with me and a couple of friends... All drunk as shit and lookin to get one of these hoes for the night so it's the end of the night and most of the club is empty..... We fuckin with these strippers in the back by the photo guy..... Tryin to get them in a hotel.... They sound like they bullshittin but they shakin they ass and still fuckin with us...... Grinding on niggas and shit.... The old African dude was back there he was the photo guy and this one chick starts clappin in his face ( mind u this the end of the night and this sweaty ass bitch been dancing and grinding on niggas all night ) dude opens them steanky sweaty checks up and go's to town..... Tearing that shit up like he ant eat all day..... She got the biggest grin on her face...... I notice her lil sack of money on the floor and go for cuz they both distracted.... I'm half way out the door when I hear her screaming to the bouncer " he got my bag... He got my bag " dude is coming at me and I just give the shit up and keep it moving wild night though..... Shit was nasty with that dude though
Well my funniest strip club exp...In Birmingham there was a ratchet strip club name CLub FLight/Club Lava. When you walked in there was a pay window it they was charging ten dollars which was cool, I overheard the dude asking bitches are you working if they said no it was 10 dollars. It was like an open door policy strip club. It was a joint to watch MONDAY night football and after the game it was the fun. this had to be like 08 or 09. It was whenever the Pats played the Saints on MNF. So me and my boy just sitting round the club and notice its more bitches in the club than niggas. But unknown to me the girls werent club goers they were dancers just chilling and watching the game. They were waiting for the cue from the DJ name DJ DOPEBOY to got get changed. When they got changed they were wearing matching bra and panties set and JORDANS twerking on counter tops. There was GERM X stationed around the club so you can finger the bitches and then clean your hands. 95% were bitches out the nearby projects. They popping and smoking black and milds. One bitch came up to me and took my Bud Light and took a sip and tried to give it back i told her she can keep it. She then starts to douche herself with the rest of my beer and does a water show with it. I walk away. I got to another bitch who was popping on the counter top she grabs my dick and was like i want u to fuck me in the ass right here right now 
i decline so she was like "Im just horny, i give you head for like 20. 
and i walk away. I find me homeboy to tell him about this fuckery and point at the bitch who propositioned me. NO LIE 45 sec later after i left some other cat was in the middle of the club getting his dick sucked by the trick. I saw a bad bitch who was like $65 to fuck me and my friend. Her name was Dream, a redbone and bad. Me and my get her # to fuck later. I got outside to get some air, i hate smoke. I see police making a perimeter so me and my boy dip out and 2 others of my boys stayed. Turned out the raided the club bout 30 mins after i bounce. A few days later me and my bot try to get back up with dream. We call her cell she then tells us to call he landline. When we call it an older lady answers the phone, I asked to speak to Dream. She was "Dont know dream live here but if you wanna talk to Crystal, Hold on" 
I never fucked with the bitch after that.
#2 Quick story I walk in the Palace and see a chick I went to High School with. I walk up to her and pull her top down and panties to side, And said I always wanted to know how those looked. And walked away no tip.
I see here another day there and ask her a question thats on my mind. "DO BITCHES WORK ON THEY PERIOD?" she was like yeah, cut the string off and keep it moving NOW I NEVER GET LAP DANCES
. It was a joint to watch MONDAY night football and after the game it was the fun. this had to be like 08 or 09. It was whenever the Pats played the Saints on MNF. So me and my boy just sitting round the club and notice its more bitches in the club than niggas. But unknown to me the girls werent club goers they were dancers just chilling and watching the game. They were waiting for the cue from the DJ name DJ DOPEBOY to got get changed. When they got changed they were wearing matching bra and panties set and JORDANS twerking on counter tops. There was GERM X stationed around the club so you can finger the bitches and then clean your hands. 95% were bitches out the nearby projects. They popping and smoking black and milds. One bitch came up to me and took my Bud Light and took a sip and tried to give it back i told her she can keep it. She then starts to douche herself with the rest of my beer and does a water show with it. I walk away. I got to another bitch who was popping on the counter top she grabs my dick and was like i want u to fuck me in the ass right here right now i decline so she was like "Im just horny, i give you head for like 20. and i walk away. I find me homeboy to tell him about this fuckery and point at the bitch who propositioned me. NO LIE 45 sec later after i left some other cat was in the middle of the club getting his dick sucked by the trick. I saw a bad bitch who was like $65 to fuck me and my friend. Her name was Dream, a redbone and bad. Me and my get her # to fuck later. I got outside to get some air, i hate smoke. I see police making a perimeter so me and my boy dip out and 2 others of my boys stayed. Turned out the raided the club bout 30 mins after i bounce. A few days later me and my bot try to get back up with dream. We call her cell she then tells us to call he landline. When we call it an older lady answers the phone, I asked to speak to Dream. She was "Dont know dream live here but if you wanna talk to Crystal, Hold on" I never fucked with the bitch after that.#2 Quick story I walk in the Palace and see a chick I went to High School with. I walk up to her and pull her top down and panties to side, And said I always wanted to know how those looked. And walked away no tip.
I see here another day there and ask her a question thats on my mind. "DO BITCHES WORK ON THEY PERIOD?" she was like yeah, cut the string off and keep it moving
NOW I NEVER GET LAP DANCES
Was in players club in the Bronx one night... While getting my lap dance and soliciting a price for a pound out session, the fire fighter and police bust in the club and my heart dropped...I thought I was going to jail today but them pigs was just doing the fire code inspection
God how did I forget about this thread. Im talking about the episode where Al took Bud to the strip club and showed him the dollar bill with a string on it.
Let me go back... back in college it was my boys 21st birthday its a Tuesday and im broke as hell. Like I only had 3$ to my name broke. Everyone decided to hit up this club in the D that had two dollar Tuesdays. Admission was 2 bucks. Im like cool grabbed the fifth out the freezer and got my pre game on during the ride.
We get to the club and that bitch is closed. So my boys decide to hit a strip club. Im thinking now what the fuck am I gonna do in a strip club with 3 dollars. Well bgol me would have laid back in the cut gaming strippers without spe nding a dime. OH NO this is young dumb drunk ass me. I take a seat right at the edge of the stage and proceed to spend a dollar take a dollar. Not once I do this for the next three dancers.
So the fourth chick is getting introduced by tje dj when I hear hey guy if your not tipping get the fuck away from the stage. My drunk ass jumps up and starts yelling talking bout how you gonna disrespect in front of everybody. So me a bouncer and the dj are arguing by the front door. My boys looking at me to give them the shut this bitch down signal. I was drunk but I still new better we were in the heart of the eastside somebody was gonna get shot if it jumped off. I ended up letting my boy enjoy his birthday while I took my angry drunk ass to the car and passed out. Nobody got shot and I still had 3 bucks at the end of the night
Several years ago, a dood I worked with and I hit up a strip club on Friday afternoon. For some reason, we both split one large VIP room. He had 2 chicks and I had one.
I had this cute white babe with a bad tit job and normally these chicks were straight up fuckin in there, but this chick was bullshittin. She asked did I want her to get another chick to gimme some head and I told her yeah...I told her I wasn't paying no extras, tho.
She brings back 2 chicks...another lil chick and a sexy as Latina. I'm on a big ass leather sofa...got the bad tit job chick on one side..I'm playing wit her hard tits, and kinda fingering the lil chick, and the Latina is on the floor giving me head....my boy is sittin across the room kinda chillin wit his 2 babes.
So I'm fuckin with these 2 chicks while gettin head and this broad is tellin jokes WHILE she's suckin me off. A few minutes later I start to bust right as she's got me
I don't think I've ever LMAO while busting a nut!
I had this cute white babe with a bad tit job and normally these chicks were straight up fuckin in there, but this chick was bullshittin. She asked did I want her to get another chick to gimme some head and I told her yeah...I told her I wasn't paying no extras, tho.
She brings back 2 chicks...another lil chick and a sexy as Latina. I'm on a big ass leather sofa...got the bad tit job chick on one side..I'm playing wit her hard tits, and kinda fingering the lil chick, and the Latina is on the floor giving me head....my boy is sittin across the room kinda chillin wit his 2 babes.
So I'm fuckin with these 2 chicks while gettin head and this broad is tellin jokes WHILE she's suckin me off. A few minutes later I start to bust right as she's got me
I don't think I've ever LMAO while busting a nut!
Too many to remember.....three that stand out though:
I once saw a fat bad built Mexican stripper in house shoes and a g string do the macarena on stage. Song and all....music kicked in, she kicked off her house shoes and dance the macarena for the entire song.
Once a friend of mine got a lap dance from this chic that was athletic thick. Body was on point. She was feeling him big time. So she get him to go to VIP and after like half the song he come walking out fast as shit, wife beater on and shirt off holding it in front his pants. He was Walking real funny too...He like "gotta go now man come on let's go" we had just got there but since he drove i talked shit but still left. Come to find out the chic was grinding on him too rough and made him nut.....
Another time i left a stripper on the floor crying in pain in VIP. She was giving me a lap dance and she had a rolling office type chair she was using. I moved to the couch and she kept the chair as a prop. So she got her legs on the couch and holding the arms of the chair with her hands. Like her feet are flat on the couch by my waist, she's face up, and holding herself up with her arms. (like a crab walk position) The chair rolled away and flipped over on top of her causing the back of the chair to hit her on the face. She fell HARD! Blood gushing from her nose mixed with tears and her screaming, thinking the bouncers might blame me and kick my ass, i walked out to my car and left. Didn't go back for at least 3 months.
Matt Schaub sucks....that is all
I once saw a fat bad built Mexican stripper in house shoes and a g string do the macarena on stage. Song and all....music kicked in, she kicked off her house shoes and dance the macarena for the entire song.
Once a friend of mine got a lap dance from this chic that was athletic thick. Body was on point. She was feeling him big time. So she get him to go to VIP and after like half the song he come walking out fast as shit, wife beater on and shirt off holding it in front his pants. He was Walking real funny too...He like "gotta go now man come on let's go" we had just got there but since he drove i talked shit but still left. Come to find out the chic was grinding on him too rough and made him nut.....
Another time i left a stripper on the floor crying in pain in VIP. She was giving me a lap dance and she had a rolling office type chair she was using. I moved to the couch and she kept the chair as a prop. So she got her legs on the couch and holding the arms of the chair with her hands. Like her feet are flat on the couch by my waist, she's face up, and holding herself up with her arms. (like a crab walk position) The chair rolled away and flipped over on top of her causing the back of the chair to hit her on the face. She fell HARD! Blood gushing from her nose mixed with tears and her screaming, thinking the bouncers might blame me and kick my ass, i walked out to my car and left. Didn't go back for at least 3 months.
Matt Schaub sucks....that is all
Last edited:
Ayo
My nigga said battery running low
Lemme moonwalk
I'm dead
My nigga said battery running low
Lemme moonwalk
I'm dead
This happened a couple of weeks ago, i'm was in the stripclub and they have lil stages in front of the seats where u get a lapdance so you can either get a stage dance or lapdance. I had just gotten a lapdance, when the stripper left i checked my phone message, soon as i was about to leave another stripper jumps on the lil stage and starts dancing, she was looking good BUT the current song was almost over so i ignored her and kept looking at my phone, soon as the next song started i told her give me a lapdance. She gives me a lapdance, it's garbage, so i only let her do one, when i went to pay her she looks at the money and tries to tell me she did TWO songs
. i just shook my head because i knew what was about to happen. I'm telling her she only did one and she talking shit about she almost got fired before for getting into it with a guy for not paying her what she WORTH. She was talking about she was dump a drink over my head. Only thing calmed her down was i stood up, i'm 6'2 220, looked her right in the eyes and told her "I" only asked her for one dance and she's not supposed to just come up and just start dancing anyway. She walked away but tried to knock my drink out my hand when she was leaving
. i just shook my head because i knew what was about to happen. I'm telling her she only did one and she talking shit about she almost got fired before for getting into it with a guy for not paying her what she WORTH. She was talking about she was dump a drink over my head. Only thing calmed her down was i stood up, i'm 6'2 220, looked her right in the eyes and told her "I" only asked her for one dance and she's not supposed to just come up and just start dancing anyway. She walked away but tried to knock my drink out my hand when she was leaving
I moved from NYC to Houston about 5-6 yrs ago.
Some friends I met when I got here took me to this popular spot called Treasures in Houston. Nice selection of chicks and all. (Was a shock to me that chicks can take dudes upstairs and fuck right in the spot. That's only usually in underground spots in NYC. So was a bit of a culture shock for me moving here.)
So I went out in this enclosed area outside to have a cig. This foine thick white chick walks right up to me asks for a light then grabs my dick.
I reach back under her tight ass dress and grabbed her pussy. She was like wow, no one ever did that before and smiles back at me.
I said I'm sorry, but back in NY this dude I know told a group of guys, we hanging out, a story about how he was getting a super BJ from some street chick he picked up and he wasn't sure to this day if she had an adam's apple. From when he told us that shit, I am always leery of women in the hoe profession, so I gotta do a Crotch Check FIRST. Is what it is...
Some friends I met when I got here took me to this popular spot called Treasures in Houston. Nice selection of chicks and all. (Was a shock to me that chicks can take dudes upstairs and fuck right in the spot. That's only usually in underground spots in NYC. So was a bit of a culture shock for me moving here.)
So I went out in this enclosed area outside to have a cig. This foine thick white chick walks right up to me asks for a light then grabs my dick.
I reach back under her tight ass dress and grabbed her pussy. She was like wow, no one ever did that before and smiles back at me.
I said I'm sorry, but back in NY this dude I know told a group of guys, we hanging out, a story about how he was getting a super BJ from some street chick he picked up and he wasn't sure to this day if she had an adam's apple. From when he told us that shit, I am always leery of women in the hoe profession, so I gotta do a Crotch Check FIRST. Is what it is...
eventho Central Station isn't a strip club.....you wouldnt be able to tell from the way them bitches get up on there on stage, get naked..., risking life and limb to see if they got what it takes to work on a pole. Anyway....i threw a couple dollars on a bitch and she got naked....hoe just got everybody's attention cuz she was bad as fuck. Big ass tattoo on both ass cheeks that said "Candy Apple". Alot of the other bitches that were up on stage started gettin salty cuz that hoe was gettin all the money. One ratchet hoe started feelin some type of way....decided enough was enough....came over and poured a cup of beer on the bitch face while she was layin down on her back poppin that pussy up in the air for me. That bitch got her buttnaked ass up.....and put hands on that bitch like you wouldnt believe. By the time she was done,....the other chick had an eye the size of a slider,....and both them hoes was naked, cuz she beat and stripped everythang off that bitch.
(yes i have footage......)
(yes i have footage......
)
eventho Central Station isn't a strip club.....you wouldnt be able to tell from the way them bitches get up on there on stage, get naked..., risking life and limb to see if they got what it takes to work on a pole. Anyway....i threw a couple dollars on a bitch and she got naked....hoe just got everybody's attention cuz she was bad as fuck. Big ass tattoo on both ass cheeks that said "Candy Apple". Alot of the other bitches that were up on stage started gettin salty cuz that hoe was gettin all the money. One ratchet hoe started feelin some type of way....decided enough was enough....came over and poured a cup of beer on the bitch face while she was layin down on her back poppin that pussy up in the air for me. That bitch got her buttnaked ass up.....and put hands on that bitch like you wouldnt believe. By the time she was done,....the other chick had an eye the size of a slider,....and both them hoes was naked, cuz she beat and stripped everythang off that bitch.
(yes i have footage......
Post the footage .....
eventho Central Station isn't a strip club.....you wouldnt be able to tell from the way them bitches get up on there on stage, get naked..., risking life and limb to see if they got what it takes to work on a pole. Anyway....i threw a couple dollars on a bitch and she got naked....hoe just got everybody's attention cuz she was bad as fuck. Big ass tattoo on both ass cheeks that said "Candy Apple". Alot of the other bitches that were up on stage started gettin salty cuz that hoe was gettin all the money. One ratchet hoe started feelin some type of way....decided enough was enough....came over and poured a cup of beer on the bitch face while she was layin down on her back poppin that pussy up in the air for me. That bitch got her buttnaked ass up.....and put hands on that bitch like you wouldnt believe. By the time she was done,....the other chick had an eye the size of a slider,....and both them hoes was naked, cuz she beat and stripped everythang off that bitch.
(yes i have footage......
bro that one in Garland off miller and Plano is butt naked
gimme a few.....uploading now....
*edit*
here ya go gentleman
http://rapidgator.net/file/e2e5571d561d0be1c5201582443e908b/Central_Station.avi.html
*edit*
here ya go gentleman
http://rapidgator.net/file/e2e5571d561d0be1c5201582443e908b/Central_Station.avi.html
Last edited:
We at this weak ass Strip Club called Jaguars out in El Paso
mind you this the only decent strip club in the area.
Anyway one of my homeboys never been to a strip club so we decided to take this fool for his bday. Man when i tell you this nigga wild out he was beyond gone. First fail was the hr ride there from base we was all pre-gaming in the car off 211 forties. So this nigga ran thru 2 forties by the time we got there.
Anyway we in the line this nigga just yelling. We all talking but he just extra loud like "YEAH I CANT WAIT TO GET IN THIS BITCH N SEE THESE DIRTY ASS MEXICAN HOES"
Everyone looking like oh shit because my dude is 6'4 260 pounds solid. The bouncers already on alert so i tell him to cool out before they make up a excuse for us not to get in this bitch. So he cools out and we get in.......
Immediately the jokes start as we grab a booth and the homie calls a girl over. Now she is a petite little white girl so we like yo this our boys first time blah blah blah so she cool she like since its his first time ill give him a courtesy dance its on the house.....So we like oh yeah we fucks wit you baby girl you cool as fuck.
Man i dont know what got into my friend but he grabs this bitch and she started bouncing up and down on his lap. He screaming "hell yeah bitch" and her face look like he was fucking her thru his clothes. We went from laughing to all silences like yo is he raping her thru the clothes. She started to laugh nervously as my boy begin to scream yeah this lil white bitch make my dick feel good but i aint trying to settling down with one hoe i want more...........
I dont have the time to write all the shit that went down that night so ima wrap it up. First of all this nigga spent all his money and bill money for the month that night on average hoes. I dont know how he did that because we kept him away from the ATM machines so we thought. This nigga was punking the bouncers and the strippers
But the finale was when he was getting a lapdance from this pregnant Filipino chick. She was sexy as fuck but she was pregnant this nigga was rubbing her belly talking about yeah ima be the step pops small price to pay to stick my dick in this pretty muthafucka. Man we rolling im in tears im so drunk laughing at this nigga. When i say he was telling her all kinds of shit this dude was wilding. He told the bitch they couldnt fuck until she had the baby because he didnt want his dick murdering the baby
This nigga said and i quote "girl ill fuck you so silly that baby going to come out dumb as fuck" I dont even know what that means but it was funny.
All night long man this nigga was pure comedy i know when we left all the employees was like thank god!
*dies *
*two cents*
Was in players club in the Bronx one night... While getting my lap dance and soliciting a price for a pound out session, the fire fighter and police bust in the club and my heart dropped...I thought I was going to jail today but them pigs was just doing the fire code inspection
Holy shit. That's fucked up and hilarious.
eventho Central Station isn't a strip club.....you wouldnt be able to tell from the way them bitches get up on there on stage, get naked..., risking life and limb to see if they got what it takes to work on a pole. Anyway....i threw a couple dollars on a bitch and she got naked....hoe just got everybody's attention cuz she was bad as fuck. Big ass tattoo on both ass cheeks that said "Candy Apple". Alot of the other bitches that were up on stage started gettin salty cuz that hoe was gettin all the money. One ratchet hoe started feelin some type of way....decided enough was enough....came over and poured a cup of beer on the bitch face while she was layin down on her back poppin that pussy up in the air for me. That bitch got her buttnaked ass up.....and put hands on that bitch like you wouldnt believe. By the time she was done,....the other chick had an eye the size of a slider,....and both them hoes was naked, cuz she beat and stripped everythang off that bitch.
(yes i have footage......
Central Station in da A??? That shit just closed down not too long ago.
Similar threads
