Post your funniest "strip club" experience.

[LSN]

Took place after we left the strip club but still funny to me...

"I pee on bitches for fun"...this was before the R. Kelly scandal backstory was we (2 cuz'ns + me) went to the strip club and dude was drinking hard...he tried to get a stripper's number but got shut down...so we joked him there and all the way home...he just kept drinking quietly...finally when we got to my other cuz'n house dude found his liquid courage and started talking about the bitch and cursing and shit...cuz'n who house we was @ his pops was home and sleeping so we like chill...just stfu go change ya clothes and go the fuck to sleep...dude just drops his pants and yells 'fuck that bitch I pee on bitches for fun' we was young so this was a good while ago shit still crack me up tho

 

[cli-terminator]

never encounter any jealous mofo who sees his girl giving lap dances..?

i remember posting this in a similar thread a long time ago..this blonde girl who had just wrapped up giving me a lapdance,when i tipped her i had got up and was heading towards the restroom..as i was walking i noticed out the corner of my eye this big Deebo-looking brotha had came up to the bar saying he was looking for(name escapes me at the moment),come to find out it was the girl who i just tipped..i ducked into the restroom and stood near the door hearing them arguing loudly,all like"I DONE TOLD YOU ABOUT ALWAYS WORKING AT THIS BITCH LATE!!(dude had a lisp so it was sounding like he was saying BITH LATHH! ) and she was "What you saying? i like working here..",etc (keep in mind this was during afternoon/happy hour)

I had thought that was that,so as i walked back out to where i was sitting i heard dude shout "Well..lets see how you like this place AFTER I SHOOT IT THE FUCK UUPP!!" her and the bouncer were trying to keep him from going to his car i had noticed the fire exit door was slightly cracked open then all of a sudden the DJ was like "Well SHOWS DONE FOLKS IM OUT!!" mofo whipped his headphones off and did like usain bolt going from the booth to the fire exit door,he opened it all the way and kept running..me and a few other ppl followed suit

 

[BigATLslim]

Money in one hand drink in the other...I turn around to go back to my seat and I see my Dad. I said what the fuck, I was so stunned I fell back a little and knocked over a couple of drinks on the table behind me, and dropped my fucking Heineken. Turns out, it was just a big ass mirror covering the whole wall behind me. Everybody has told me my whole life I look just like him, but this was the first time I saw how much I do.

i could be here for weeks

girls falling off poles

we did a boxing match with strippers and a chick got knocked off da stage

some nigga talking shit to some of my bouncer friends and ends up getting tossed down a flight of steps

a shitload of stripper fights

a stripper beating a niggas ass outside with her shoes

a manager getting knocked out in front of me by a customer

2 sets of customers goin at it and deciding when they get outside they'll have a real life game of bumping cars with there whips

running down a firescape to avoid a police raid- i still get joked on about dat-

being in various police raids(the stories i can tell)

the boys comin thru arresting chicks for soliticing in da club..hell funniest 1 when they came thru arrested 2 chicks than as da boys was leaving they juss decided to arrest some random streetwalker dat juss happen to be passing by

watching 2 homos literally fight inside of a car than onto da ground in da middle of da street after coming thru our stripper party(fucking in da closet queers)

chicks getting there shit stolen and literally have to go home with my tshirt as there source of only clothing

watching a promoter get robbed with no weapon outside literally after he got paid

pimp fights

chicks getting nutted on and running around with cum on there face, hair, oozing out there mouth..talking about kick dat customer out they violated

i could go on and on

I have been to the strip club enough to know all of this is true.

 

[bigdog_bx]

Golden Lady in the BX in the late 90's. Me and my boy go in, and they had a special show upstairs. Got up in there, and there was a chick on stage and the DJ or promoter was looking for volunteers to come up and fuck this chick on stage. They pulled this guy with an amputated hand up, after a little conversation, he put a condom on his nub and he proceeded to fuck her with his nub. Went in from his wrist to his elbow. The whole place was rolling Shit was crazy. At that point we saw it all lol

 

[LSN]

... smoke blunts, drink deuces(22 oz Heineken) and rap.

The good old days...that used to be enough for a fun weekend...get smashed then just kick freestyles and shit

 

[brickdome]

The good old days...that used to be enough for a fun weekend...get smashed then just kick freestyles and shit

Yes you aint never lying

 

[Intel Unit]

I was at my local strip club one night and this really sloppy ass mixed chick got up to dance. Bitch had a gunt, raised stretch marks..the whole nine. Nigga I used to go to school with threw 50 cents on stage. That shit was rattling, everybody bust out laughing..she kept going, but the bouncers tossed his ass out like Uncle Phil used to do Jazzy Jeff. The funniest thing to me personally was the time I was in New Orleans near the stage throwing a couple of dollars... about 4 drinks in. Money in one hand drink in the other...I turn around to go back to my seat and I see my Dad. I said what the fuck, I was so stunned I fell back a little and knocked over a couple of drinks on the table behind me, and dropped my fucking Heineken. Turns out, it was just a big ass mirror covering the whole wall behind me. Everybody has told me my whole life I look just like him, but this was the first time I saw how much I do.

Funny as shit!!!

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

chicks getting there shit stolen and literally have to go home with my tshirt as there source of only clothing

damn mofos be sneaking in the dressing room..?

speaking of ppl getting knocked out thats what had happened to the bouncer at another club i used to go to here in AZ when he tried to throw mike tyson and his entourage out..they had all the best-looking dancers at their tables

of course mike was drunk and grabbing/feeling up two of the dancers,so after they complained to the bouncer he went over and told them that they had to leave..tyson was like"MUFUCKA I CAN DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT,IM IRON MIKE..",etc so when the other bouncer came over to say the same mike was all"allright allright.."as he got up he turned around and punched the main bouncer dead in his jaw..dude was spinning around,sounded like i heard him say"GAINTCH!!!" when he was hit one of the watresses tried to step to him(she was the bouncer's girlfriend) and got back-handed into a chair

 

[alexw]

damn mofos be sneaking in the dressing room..?

speaking of ppl getting knocked out thats what had happened to the bouncer at another club i used to go to here in AZ when he tried to throw mike tyson and his entourage out..they had all the best-looking dancers at their tables

of course mike was drunk and grabbing/feeling up two of the dancers,so after they complained to the bouncer he went over and told them that they had to leave..tyson was like"MUFUCKA I CAN DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT,IM IRON MIKE..",etc so when the other bouncer came over to say the same mike was all"allright allright.."as he got up he turned around and punched the main bouncer dead in his jaw..dude was spinning around,sounded like i heard him say"GAINTCH!!!" when he was hit one of the watresses tried to step to him(she was the bouncer's girlfriend) and got back-handed into a chair

 

[BK Pop]

let's see there was this one time it was about 4 us, and we rollred up ion the Ebony Lace by the fed ex hub here in memphis. and were gettin fucked up on the Goldslater. we decided to dollar up and buy one of my boys a lapdance. so we gave him the cheese, and he went to the back with the chick, and he cam back about 5 minutes later, and i was like damn dude that was too quick. He sd "fuck that bitch, she talking about she need 50 more dollars" when he said that this dude who had been sittin at the stage next to us jumped out his seat and said "i don't appreciate you calling my girl a bitch". so then we all stood up like"what" then my boy sd" i'm sure that ain't the first thime tonite someone called her a bitch". dude was pissed s\and swecurity came got him, but we rolled out, siince we weren't stapped.

Another story, four of us rolled into Platinum PLus drunk as hell, and the same cat from the story above started fucking with the strippers, and security came by and warned him. so a few minute later i'm standing and this chick came by and hit me in the nuts, so i complained to the bouncer he went to the manager, and again my boy started fucking with the strippers and the manager tossed us. As we were walking out, the bouncer grabbed him and another pushed me, i got pissed and was ready to fight. I had a half gallon whiskey bottle n my hand and was ready to clock the bouncer, when this midget mutha fucka came from behind him, and hit me in the eye with pepper spray. that shit burned like a bitch! my boys still talk about to this day.

Last story. i went to a bachelor party at the old Deja Vu, and got there late, just as i got settled in and got a beer, the groom tip the stripper in her gstring, and she slapped him. he looked down then looked at me, and before i knew it , he was rushing the stage. needless to say we were kicked out.

 

[alexw]

let's see there was this one time it was about 4 us, and we rollred up ion the Ebony Lace by the fed ex hub here in memphis. and were gettin fucked up on the Goldslater. we decided to dollar up and buy one of my boys a lapdance. so we gave him the cheese, and he went to the back with the chick, and he cam back about 5 minutes later, and i was like damn dude that was too quick. He sd "fuck that bitch, she talking about she need 50 more dollars" when he said that this dude who had been sittin at the stage next to us jumped out his seat and said "i don't appreciate you calling my girl a bitch". so then we all stood up like"what" then my boy sd" i'm sure that ain't the first thime tonite someone called her a bitch". dude was pissed s\and swecurity came got him, but we rolled out, siince we weren't stapped.

Another story, four of us rolled into Platinum PLus drunk as hell, and the same cat from the story above started fucking with the strippers, and security came by and warned him. so a few minute later i'm standing and this chick came by and hit me in the nuts, so i complained to the bouncer he went to the manager, and again my boy started fucking with the strippers and the manager tossed us. As we were walking out, the bouncer grabbed him and another pushed me, i got pissed and was ready to fight. I had a half gallon whiskey bottle n my hand and was ready to clock the bouncer, when this midget mutha fucka came from behind him, and hit me in the eye with pepper spray. that shit burned like a bitch! my boys still talk about to this day.

Last story. i went to a bachelor party at the old Deja Vu, and got there late, just as i got settled in and got a beer, the groom tip the stripper in her gstring, and she slapped him. he looked down then looked at me, and before i knew it , he was rushing the stage. needless to say we were kicked out.

Post your funniest "strip club" experience.

 

[deekang]

Brown Derby in Elizabeth (NJ) lock door party... Dancers looking for volunteers to bring on stage and suck their dicks... This kid was talking mad trash and volunteered.. 2 dancers pull down his pants, start giving him head, one looked at the other one since dude got stage fright, told him to lay on his back... the other dancer (wild ass Latin) squatted down and pissed on son.. Shit was disturbing and funny at the same time.. the look on his face

Another time in Fools Paradise in the Bronx, this old ass dancer we called Gorilla Face pulled out my boys chair (with him in) and sat on his lap grinding and in here gravely (Fred Sanford) voice said "I'm a give him some Christmas Cheer" he jumped up out of the chair and she went down BAM Bouncer came over and said about time somebody did that

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

Brown Derby in Elizabeth (NJ) lock door party... Dancers looking for volunteers to bring on stage and suck their dicks... This kid was talking mad trash and volunteered.. 2 dancers pull down his pants, start giving him head, one looked at the other one since dude got stage fright, told him to lay on his back... the other dancer (wild ass Latin) squatted down and pissed on son.. Shit was disturbing and funny at the same time.. the look on his face

WTF

 

[alexw]

Brown Derby in Elizabeth (NJ) lock door party... Dancers looking for volunteers to bring on stage and suck their dicks... This kid was talking mad trash and volunteered.. 2 dancers pull down his pants, start giving him head, one looked at the other one since dude got stage fright, told him to lay on his back... the other dancer (wild ass Latin) squatted down and pissed on son.. Shit was disturbing and funny at the same time.. the look on his face

yo that nigga didnt lose it on those hoes?

lmbaooooooooooooooooooo

 

[BK Pop]

Post your funniest "strip club" experience.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

Le Girls club in AZ i remember seeing a elderly white guy get kicked in his face (on accident) by this dancer who was spinning on the pole..he had gotten a little too close to the stage (didnt help that there were strobelights flashing everywhere) and when the dancer grabbed the pole and spun around i heard this loud CLACK noise,then when the lights came back on there was dude lying flat on his back everyone was rushing over to him while she was on stage all"ohmygodohmygod.." thing was she was dancing
to that song by EMF called "Unbelievable",and she had kicked him on that part in the chorus where they sampled andrew dice clay's"OHHH!"

 

[ShortyCumStain]

*Place marker*

 

[LSN]

Another post-strip club funny moment was going to Club Warehouse in BK on NYE ages ago...wall to wall strippers...we fingered so many bitches that nite niggas hands was smelling like we went fishing and used our hands to grab fish...niggas was in my house smelling like a barrel of fish...one of my boys washed his hands twice w/ dish washing soap + some hot ass water and his hands was still smelling like pussy...nigga couldn't even go home to his gf

 

[BGLR1212000]

Stripper shoved my boy through the door and mounted him mma style and tried to whup his ass. I'm the one the bitch got mad at. Dunno why she rushed my boy instead. I officially gave up going to the strip club that night.

 

[LennyNero1972]

During amateur night at the now defunct Jazzy T's a fat ass'd white bitch jumped on stage and the crowd yelled "....YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK...." shit had me in tears.

 

[ShortyCumStain]

Another post-strip club funny moment was going to Club Warehouse in BK on NYE ages ago...wall to wall strippers...we fingered so many bitches that nite niggas hands was smelling like we went fishing and used our hands to grab fish...niggas was in my house smelling like a barrel of fish...one of my boys washed his hands twice w/ dish washing soap + some hot ass water and his hands was still smelling like pussy...nigga couldn't even go home to his gf

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

Stripper shoved my boy through the door and mounted him mma style and tried to whup his ass. I'm the one the bitch got mad at. Dunno why she rushed my boy instead. I officially gave up going to the strip club that night.

damn did he not tip her right or something..?

 

[BGLR1212000]

damn did he not tip her right or something..?

Long story short, we was like 20 deep in an outta town strip club for my boy bachelor party. We had been stunting all night, all the broads was going crazy cuz we was spending money like that. Some dumbass stripper who I hadnt seen all night had a huuuge bag of money we threw out, I said some slick shit to her cuz I was drunk and I hadn't seen her dance not one song for us, but the bitch was stunting. anyway, she threw some kinda fake punch at me, I promised the bitch I'd grab her by the throat and throw her through the wall. my boy said something, next thing I know she rush his ass through the door. that, plus a buncha other shit happened, and the club decided we was too much trouble and threw us all out, but we had our fun by then then my boy hanging out the window like 2Pac shooting his .45 in the air while we peeling out the parking lot. thank God we got my boy to the altar the next day. mind you, this happened THIS year, the youngest person with us was 27 years old.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

Another post-strip club funny moment was going to Club Warehouse in BK on NYE ages ago...wall to wall strippers...we fingered so many bitches that nite niggas hands was smelling like we went fishing and used our hands to grab fish...niggas was in my house smelling like a barrel of fish...one of my boys washed his hands twice w/ dish washing soap + some hot ass water and his hands was still smelling like pussy...nigga couldn't even go home to his gf

those strippers mustve just woke up,skipped the shower and what not then headed straight to the club

 

[LSN]

those strippers mustve just woke up,skipped the shower and what not then headed straight to the club

Idk...it was a regular pussy smell just multiplied by all the bitches we was fingering

 

[tallblacknyc]

man you need to write the full stories for most of these



sounds like these are mostly closed door parties instead of strip clubs

(especially hoes getting facialed)

lol like i said i could go on for weeks..xmas was my 13 yr anniversay for goin to the stripclub and my 10 yr anniversay for doin bizz in the game..so 13 yrs around dis shit and 10 yrs doin bizz(even though i was getting money in it b4 dat) around it u seen lots of shit..oh yeah those stories are mix with both underground and commercial strip events

k quick version of 1 story...we doin a closed door party like 8 yrs ago..broads doin stage shows doin wild tricks getting bread..i'm in thee vidtaping everything..anyway a paticular dancer decides to go up and do her show..her show usually consists of dildo's and sticking fruits in her pussy and ass..well shorty doin her show and proceeds to stick a fruit in her ass..well because i'm the closes to her bein dat i'm vidtaping..the aroma created from hell hits me first- i can't even describe wtf it smelled like- i literally go awww man battery running low let me get out ur way as i moonwalk off the stage..my boy like yo whats wrong with ur face ..i'm like u didn't smell dat scent..he like naw..all of a sudden u see mad niggas in da spot like wtf dat smell..niggas smelling there shirts they smelling other people, dancers is smelling themselves and smelling other people trying to fig out where that scent comin from..me bein da idiot that i am i take my flashlight and start flashing it on da dancer and scream out ground zero..some people hear me and bust out laughing..the smell grows and nigs like fuck dat shit i'm out...no bs every dude juss walks out the event like fuck dat shit..the event ended a half hr early cause of dat broad

 

[GT2BK007]

lol like i said i could go on for weeks..xmas was my 13 yr anniversay for goin to the stripclub and my 10 yr anniversay for doin bizz in the game..so 13 yrs around dis shit and 10 yrs doin bizz(even though i was getting money in it b4 dat) around it u seen lots of shit..oh yeah those stories are mix with both underground and commercial strip events

k quick version of 1 story...we doin a closed door party like 8 yrs ago..broads doin stage shows doin wild tricks getting bread..i'm in thee vidtaping everything..anyway a paticular dancer decides to go up and do her show..her show usually consists of dildo's and sticking fruits in her pussy and ass..well shorty doin her show and proceeds to stick a fruit in her ass..well because i'm the closes to her bein dat i'm vidtaping..the aroma created from hell hits me first- i can't even describe wtf it smelled like- i literally go awww man battery running low let me get out ur way as i moonwalk off the stage..my boy like yo whats wrong with ur face ..i'm like u didn't smell dat scent..he like naw..all of a sudden u see mad niggas in da spot like wtf dat smell..niggas smelling there shirts they smelling other people, dancers is smelling themselves and smelling other people trying to fig out where that scent comin from..me bein da idiot that i am i take my flashlight and start flashing it on da dancer and scream out ground zero..some people here me and bust out laughing..the smell grows and nigs like fuck dat shit i'm out...no bs every dude juss walks out the event like fuck dat shit..the event ended a half hr early cause of dat broad

 

[alexw]

lol like i said i could go on for weeks..xmas was my 13 yr anniversay for goin to the stripclub and my 10 yr anniversay for doin bizz in the game..so 13 yrs around dis shit and 10 yrs doin bizz(even though i was getting money in it b4 dat) around it u seen lots of shit..oh yeah those stories are mix with both underground and commercial strip events

k quick version of 1 story...we doin a closed door party like 8 yrs ago..broads doin stage shows doin wild tricks getting bread..i'm in thee vidtaping everything..anyway a paticular dancer decides to go up and do her show..her show usually consists of dildo's and sticking fruits in her pussy and ass..well shorty doin her show and proceeds to stick a fruit in her ass..well because i'm the closes to her bein dat i'm vidtaping..the aroma created from hell hits me first- i can't even describe wtf it smelled like- i literally go awww man battery running low let me get out ur way as i moonwalk off the stage..my boy like yo whats wrong with ur face ..i'm like u didn't smell dat scent..he like naw..all of a sudden u see mad niggas in da spot like wtf dat smell..niggas smelling there shirts they smelling other people, dancers is smelling themselves and smelling other people trying to fig out where that scent comin from..me bein da idiot that i am i take my flashlight and start flashing it on da dancer and scream out ground zero..some people hear me and bust out laughing..the smell grows and nigs like fuck dat shit i'm out...no bs every dude juss walks out the event like fuck dat shit..the event ended a half hr early cause of dat broad

lmbaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


more nigga more!!!!!

 

[8/11Streetz]

We at this weak ass Strip Club called Jaguars out in El Paso


mind you this the only decent strip club in the area.


Anyway one of my homeboys never been to a strip club so we decided to take this fool for his bday. Man when i tell you this nigga wild out he was beyond gone. First fail was the hr ride there from base we was all pre-gaming in the car off 211 forties. So this nigga ran thru 2 forties by the time we got there.

Anyway we in the line this nigga just yelling. We all talking but he just extra loud like "YEAH I CANT WAIT TO GET IN THIS BITCH N SEE THESE DIRTY ASS MEXICAN HOES"

Everyone looking like oh shit because my dude is 6'4 260 pounds solid. The bouncers already on alert so i tell him to cool out before they make up a excuse for us not to get in this bitch. So he cools out and we get in.......


Immediately the jokes start as we grab a booth and the homie calls a girl over. Now she is a petite little white girl so we like yo this our boys first time blah blah blah so she cool she like since its his first time ill give him a courtesy dance its on the house.....So we like oh yeah we fucks wit you baby girl you cool as fuck.

Man i dont know what got into my friend but he grabs this bitch and she started bouncing up and down on his lap. He screaming "hell yeah bitch" and her face look like he was fucking her thru his clothes. We went from laughing to all silences like yo is he raping her thru the clothes. She started to laugh nervously as my boy begin to scream yeah this lil white bitch make my dick feel good but i aint trying to settling down with one hoe i want more...........

I dont have the time to write all the shit that went down that night so ima wrap it up. First of all this nigga spent all his money and bill money for the month that night on average hoes. I dont know how he did that because we kept him away from the ATM machines so we thought. This nigga was punking the bouncers and the strippers

But the finale was when he was getting a lapdance from this pregnant Filipino chick. She was sexy as fuck but she was pregnant this nigga was rubbing her belly talking about yeah ima be the step pops small price to pay to stick my dick in this pretty muthafucka. Man we rolling im in tears im so drunk laughing at this nigga. When i say he was telling her all kinds of shit this dude was wilding. He told the bitch they couldnt fuck until she had the baby because he didnt want his dick murdering the baby
This nigga said and i quote "girl ill fuck you so silly that baby going to come out dumb as fuck" I dont even know what that means but it was funny.

All night long man this nigga was pure comedy i know when we left all the employees was like thank god!

 

[alexw]

We at this weak ass Strip Club called Jaguars out in El Paso


mind you this the only decent strip club in the area.


Anyway one of my homeboys never been to a strip club so we decided to take this fool for his bday. Man when i tell you this nigga wild out he was beyond gone. First fail was the hr ride there from base we was all pre-gaming in the car off 211 forties. So this nigga ran thru 2 forties by the time we got there.

Anyway we in the line this nigga just yelling. We all talking but he just extra loud like "YEAH I CANT WAIT TO GET IN THIS BITCH N SEE THESE DIRTY ASS MEXICAN HOES"

Everyone looking like oh shit because my dude is 6'4 260 pounds solid. The bouncers already on alert so i tell him to cool out before they make up a excuse for us not to get in this bitch. So he cools out and we get in.......


Immediately the jokes start as we grab a booth and the homie calls a girl over. Now she is a petite little white girl so we like yo this our boys first time blah blah blah so she cool she like since its his first time ill give him a courtesy dance its on the house.....So we like oh yeah we fucks wit you baby girl you cool as fuck.

Man i dont know what got into my friend but he grabs this bitch and she started bouncing up and down on his lap. He screaming "hell yeah bitch" and her face look like he was fucking her thru his clothes. We went from laughing to all silences like yo is he raping her thru the clothes. She started to laugh nervously as my boy begin to scream yeah this lil white bitch make my dick feel good but i aint trying to settling down with one hoe i want more...........

I dont have the time to write all the shit that went down that night so ima wrap it up. First of all this nigga spent all his money and bill money for the month that night on average hoes. I dont know how he did that because we kept him away from the ATM machines so we thought. This nigga was punking the bouncers and the strippers

But the finale was when he was getting a lapdance from this pregnant Filipino chick. She was sexy as fuck but she was pregnant this nigga was rubbing her belly talking about yeah ima be the step pops small price to pay to stick my dick in this pretty muthafucka. Man we rolling im in tears im so drunk laughing at this nigga. When i say he was telling her all kinds of shit this dude was wilding. He told the bitch they couldnt fuck until she had the baby because he didnt want his dick murdering the baby
This nigga said and i quote "girl ill fuck you so silly that baby going to come out dumb as fuck" I dont even know what that means but it was funny.

All night long man this nigga was pure comedy i know when we left all the employees was like thank god!

 

[tallblacknyc]

lmbaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


more nigga more!!!!!

ummm real quick..anotha lockdoor event yearssssss ago..there wasn't no special rooms juss an all out fuckfest..anyway custy got head from a dancer than dude paid her..shorty goes to her pimp with the bread..pimp nig looks at the bills and goes wtf dis shit is fake..tells chick go to dude and get bread..she goes to him like u gave me fake money let me get my real money..custy like fuck off bitch..dancer goes tell her pimp what happen..nig goes ova to the custy like wtf kinda games u playing..custy like nah i gave her real money blah blah..pimp like u got 10 secs to give me the bread or imma beat ur ass than dig in ur pockets..custy like u ain't gonna do shit..pimp straight 2 piece da nig and dude falls out on the floor with mad used condoms on it..pimp digs in his pocket takes all his bread..dude still layed out on the floor everybody laughing and shit..a few mins lata bouncer notices dude..they try to pick him up and mad used rubbers is stuck to dis dude clothes, face, head..bouncer like oh shit mad nut oozing out the condoms on dis nig yuck..they let go of dude and he drops to the floor again on more used rubbers..bouncer bugging out get me some tissue and water i got some of dat shit on me..meanwhile dude still out cold on da floor..a few other bouncers come and they put on gloves and literally dragged dude out by his ankles..once again me bein an idiot i'm like damn nig guys come to da event to skeet on chicks and dis guy come to the event and gets skeet on him..bouncers start laughing they ass off..they dragged dat nig outside and left him there

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

lol like i said i could go on for weeks..xmas was my 13 yr anniversay for goin to the stripclub and my 10 yr anniversay for doin bizz in the game..so 13 yrs around dis shit and 10 yrs doin bizz(even though i was getting money in it b4 dat) around it u seen lots of shit..oh yeah those stories are mix with both underground and commercial strip events

k quick version of 1 story...we doin a closed door party like 8 yrs ago..broads doin stage shows doin wild tricks getting bread..i'm in thee vidtaping everything..anyway a paticular dancer decides to go up and do her show..her show usually consists of dildo's and sticking fruits in her pussy and ass..well shorty doin her show and proceeds to stick a fruit in her ass..well because i'm the closes to her bein dat i'm vidtaping..the aroma created from hell hits me first- i can't even describe wtf it smelled like- i literally go awww man battery running low let me get out ur way as i moonwalk off the stage..my boy like yo whats wrong with ur face ..i'm like u didn't smell dat scent..he like naw..all of a sudden u see mad niggas in da spot like wtf dat smell..niggas smelling there shirts they smelling other people, dancers is smelling themselves and smelling other people trying to fig out where that scent comin from..me bein da idiot that i am i take my flashlight and start flashing it on da dancer and scream out ground zero..some people hear me and bust out laughing..the smell grows and nigs like fuck dat shit i'm out...no bs every dude juss walks out the event like fuck dat shit..the event ended a half hr early cause of dat broad

this was probably what u were smelling..

 

[tallblacknyc]

this was probably what u were smelling..

sadly enuff because i been around dis shit so long i actually kno what a yeast infection smell like...it wasn't a yeast infection.. god u juss made me remember da first time i smelled a yeasty i still can't get dat smell out of my head..female dressing rooms sounds like heaven on earth but it really is a bad joke from hell

 

[W.M.D.]

So im throwing a bachelor party for my boy. We got the entire second floor of a deja vu rented out. The owner was cool so he let me bring my own drank for the party. So I got the place set up right bottles behind the bar wings on deck a table with cards set up. Had that shit looking like an old-school house party with naked bitches dancing around.

So its still early only a third of the guest are there. Im already fucked up and my drunk ass tells the hoes they can have some chicken. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE. These hoes attacked the chicken like that scene from Gremlins. So I tell the mamager that the hoes eating all my chicken before all the guest are here so tell them they cut off. He walks back to the dressing room and comes out and says "you good" so were standing there choppin it up when this girl walks out of the dressing room straight up to the wings grabs one and bites it in my face. I fucking lost it I yelled out BITCH and went to choke the shit out of her. My boy grabs me before I could get to her. The manager grabs her by the hair and drags her back to the dressing room.

We spent the rest of the night making it rain an joking about how I was gonna choke a bitch over a piece of chicken. I made damn sure that ho didn't make any money that night from me or my crew.

I got another story about how I was kicked out a club for getting my Al Bundy on.

 

[djkidrich]