"Desperation" doesn't necessarily have to come into it, Don. Also, it depends on what you mean by "phone sex." Many, many, many times I have been having sexually charged conversation with a woman and it would come out that she was dripping wet and playing with a toy while talking to me. Often that was not my intention when initiating or receiving the call. It all depends on the effect you have on each other. Sex for me is at least one half psychological- I'm not saying that is good or bad or normal, that's just me. I like sexual conversation both in person and over the phone. It may result in someone coming and it may not. If she or I needs relief, we take it, but often it's just a buildup for later.
I just want to respond to the desperate characterization, and share with the peeps that there may be some "desperate" cats out there, but I ain't one of them. There are many cats out there I am sure getting a lot more pussy than me, but I can attest to turning down at least two direct sexual offers almost every day. But I like sexual conversation (the "red toenail polish on white walls..." line by Jill just fucks me us), think it's healthy, and don't think we engage in it enough as a way to establish our own sexual landscapes and setting a context for our potential partners. This may be a little too complicated for many people, but the women I deal with eat this shit up. I think women are a lot more sophisticated sexually than we realize, and are capapble of all kinds of fun shit. I just found out the woman I am seeing CAN PUT HER FUCKING FOOT BEHIND HER HEAD!!! She said she has ALWAYS been able to do this, and I just never asked her to. Way to withhold critical information, girl!
From your posts, it's obvious that you are widely travelled, and I will wager widely read, so I am not disagreeing with your take; I'm only saying that one does not have to be desperate to enjoy heavily sexual conversation. If that's "phone sex" per se, then so be it. I LOVE it, and wish more women were into it (but plenty are).