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**Nasty Astrology** Read Your Sign...

mzmillion said:
Virgo
They are picky, sharp tempered, and boring. They are neat freaks. They have no real personality. They are picky control freaks, everything has to be unnaturally neat. Their idea of fun is one glass of wine with friends -- 4 friends, always has to be neat and orderly. They are fussy, hypercritical, hypochondriacs. You have to reassure them in love, constantly tell them you love them. They sickly sweet and that is a Virgo in love. They like to feed there lover and put the toothpaste on the toothbrush for them. They like to treat them like a child. Sex with them is quick, clean, and normal. If you like anything fun, exciting, you are not getting it with them. They like to think of it as healthy. So no smoking a cigarrette after. You'll never be surprised with one because everything is a routine with them, same thing everyday.
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:hmm:
HA? BORING? FUCK OUTTA HERE! :dance::dance:
 
Will y'all please...LAUGH IT OFF...since when does astrology of a whole dictate what you yourself may think, act, etc...

It's all in fun :lol:
 
Aries
They have a fiery temper and are impatient and blunt. They think there are only two way to do anything - their way and the wrong way. They have no real friends. A meaningful relationship to them is a one night stand. They are vain and big headed and over confident. They think life is a game of chess and they play win and make you lose. They are unbelievably competitive and will turn anything into a bet, contest, competition, or gamble. The Aries falls in love at the drop of a hat, or pants. They think their hearts are in there pants and to make them love you, sleep with them. They don't believe anyone could stop loving them. They would sleep with anything given the chance. They think of someone else while they are with you. If it involves pain, humiliation, and degradation, that is the type of sex they like. They use the office as a place for seduction, corruption, or sleep. If they get rich, they will still buy you cheap gifts.



I'm a true aries and I really don't agree with most of this I don't which is worse that I supposedly will give it up to anyone or that I buy cheap gifts....Whoever wrote this pulled it directly out their ass.

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sig by DJRAYRAY
 
The funny thing is that I, as a Capricorn, am traditionally supposed to hate Scorpios. That being said, my last ex was a Scorpio (supposedly a Capricorn's enemy). One of my best friends, a straight edger who brought me to the Bay is a Scorpio as well. My ex-wife, the woman who put my dick through the wringer, is a cancer. The sign I'm supposed to adore.

I think that astrology is spooky in it's accuracy of descriptions, but not in it's assumption on intentions. It assumes that all of these tight assed, rule following Capricorns need a whimsical intuitive love struck cancer to mellow out out our Spok like emotions.

That's bullshit!! Whoever wrote (or most likely stole) these charts forgot that intoxication and partying is the most logical escape of all, especially since it involves only a temporary, and somewhat manageable loss of control. For that purpose Scorpios kick ass!!! the only women who would think to keep $20 worth of cab fare in a hidden pocket are Scorpios. The only women who can talk you down from a bad E trip are Scorpios (especially when everyone else wants to kill you for shit you don't remember saying). The only one who will forgive you for acting a fool when high are Scorpios. If you want to attempt ideas that go sharply against what you family and friends recommend.... (give you a hint, it's your natural enemy)
 
Dannyblueyes said:
The funny thing is that I, as a Capricorn, am traditionally supposed to hate Scorpios. That being said, my last ex was a Scorpio (supposedly a Capricorn's enemy). One of my best friends, a straight edger who brought me to the Bay is a Scorpio as well. My ex-wife, the woman who put my dick through the wringer, is a cancer. The sign I'm supposed to adore.

I think that astrology is spooky in it's accuracy of descriptions, but not in it's assumption on intentions. It assumes that all of these tight assed, rule following Capricorns need a whimsical intuitive love struck cancer to mellow out out our Spok like emotions.

That's bullshit!! Whoever wrote (or most likely stole) these charts forgot that intoxication and partying is the most logical escape of all, especially since it involves only a temporary, and somewhat manageable loss of control. For that purpose Scorpios kick ass!!! the only women who would think to keep $20 worth of cab fare in a hidden pocket are Scorpios. The only women who can talk you down from a bad E trip are Scorpios (especially when everyone else wants to kill you for shit you don't remember saying). The only one who will forgive you for acting a fool when high are Scorpios. If you want to attempt ideas that go sharply against what you family and friends recommend.... (give you a hint, it's your natural enemy)
Click to expand...

:cool:
 
Dannyblueyes said:
The funny thing is that I, as a Capricorn, am traditionally supposed to hate Scorpios. That being said, my last ex was a Scorpio (supposedly a Capricorn's enemy). One of my best friends, a straight edger who brought me to the Bay is a Scorpio as well. My ex-wife, the woman who put my dick through the wringer, is a cancer. The sign I'm supposed to adore.

I think that astrology is spooky in it's accuracy of descriptions, but not in it's assumption on intentions. It assumes that all of these tight assed, rule following Capricorns need a whimsical intuitive love struck cancer to mellow out out our Spok like emotions.

That's bullshit!! Whoever wrote (or most likely stole) these charts forgot that intoxication and partying is the most logical escape of all, especially since it involves only a temporary, and somewhat manageable loss of control. For that purpose Scorpios kick ass!!! the only women who would think to keep $20 worth of cab fare in a hidden pocket are Scorpios. The only women who can talk you down from a bad E trip are Scorpios (especially when everyone else wants to kill you for shit you don't remember saying). The only one who will forgive you for acting a fool when high are Scorpios. If you want to attempt ideas that go sharply against what you family and friends recommend.... (give you a hint, it's your natural enemy)
Click to expand...

So I take it that you got a thing for scorps?
 
ladyscorpio said:
uhmmm so you like long dreadlocked females?? and uhmm exactly what type of name calling? some examples would be good ....:cool: eh hem
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Never had a chance to pull dreads, scouts honor...
Sounds interesting..


I let the cooch tell me what kinda names shes likes.. :yes:
I most likely won't get an honest answer from her mouth...
:dance:
 
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Pisces
They have vivid imagination and often suffer from conspiracy delusions of being followed. They like people to think of them as a lot deeper than they are. They have no real interest, its just an excuse to get people to take there clothes off. There emotions are honed to a point of rawness the rest of us couldn't live with. They hold grudges forever, always suspecting there partner is having an affair. They will drive there lover to adultery just to prove they were right. They'll check garbage, phone bills, and spy on you. They are scuffy little devils with a odd sense of personal hygiene, check there teeth. They are careless about everything. They are messy, unorganized, and selfish. They are indecisive so they don't get rid of lovers. If they get ditched, then they like to show off there emotional side but they don't really care. Having one for a lover leaves you feeling worthless and dirty. Pisces don't need sex, they need power. They like you naked and want you to feel vulnerable so they are in control. They get more people naked than any other sign. They use any tactic, massages, aromatherapy, artistic photos, they might even say they will do your astrology chart, as long as you are naked for it. They are very secretive about there affairs expecting you to tell all your fantasies, and past lovers while they reveal nothing. Knowledge is power to them so if they give you nothing, you have no power over them. They are lax in personal habits, you can't trust them with a bar of soap. So going to bed with one is a gamble, they may have showered, but then again, they may have not. They like to lure people in for weird 3somes, partner swapping, and 10 in a hot tub gathering. They don't do business or jobs really. They will work at a job where people easily take there clothes off, like doctor, nurse, hypnotist.

-A big bag of false.
 
mzmillion said:
Scorpio
They are disruptive and cruel, and they like it like that. They go out there way to irritate everyone around them and are very argumentative. There emotions are so powerful, it will tear us apart. They are a magnet of weak and unstable people and they love to control them. They hate routine and go out of there way for unconventional ways. They steal, kill, and plot with a smile. They dress very well and are always polished. They like to inflict pain on helpless creatures, which means the rest of us. They will commit every sexual taboo their is and invent a few. To fall in love you need a heart, unfortunately they have a lump ice there. If you fall for them, they will dominate, control, and possess you. If you like slave-master relationships, this is perfect. If you are going to sleep with one, make sure you have endurance and stamina. They have super human strength and like to have sex for long hours. They like nasty, sadistic, kinky sex. They are jealous lovers so don't be unfaithful. They seek revenge in blood and pain. If they have a career, they do best in one that has many secrets, like government researcher.
[SIZE="4
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:yes::yes::D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Scorpions Stand up!!!!:lol::lol::lol:
This scorpion has a lump of ice.......and so much honey too .:D
 
this shit is not accurate this is more like it!!
this tells 100% the truth about you

http://www.rainfall.com/horoscop/chinese.htm


this is mine describes me to a T
THE SNAKE
Snakes are romantic and charming. They are deep thinkers and always mysterious. Snakes are graceful and soft spoken. They love a good book and appreciate all of the arts. They lean towards all of the finer things in life. Snakes trust themselves above all others and are seldom wrong; but behind a sophisticated front,Snakes are very superstitious!

Snakes are good with money and don't have to worry about finances. Somehow, when money is needed, it appears. In spite of their good luck with money, Snakes should never gamble. They could suffer big losses if they did, but Snakes learn fast. Once they have made a mistake,they never repeat it. They also never forgive you if you break a promise. By nature they are skeptical beings but keep their suspicions to themselves. They are very private and not concerned with the business of others. Idle gossip is not for them.

Snakes can be possessive in their relationships with others.They are passionate but jealous lovers. You can never tell how far Snakes will go to achieve their aims. They are relentless and their computer-like brains never stop plotting.When you anger them, you feel their icy hostility instead of hearing any sharp words. They will bide their time for revenge, so watch out! Snakes are elegant dressers, well-mannered, and always discrete. They always appear quiet and docile, but watch out, they never betray their true feelings. Their moves are planned out well in advance and they will hold their position to the bitter end. They can be evasive, and just when you think you have them, they slip away.

Snakes make good politicians since they can negotiate just about anything. Snakes also have a great sense of humor, and even in a crisis situation, they can lighten the atmosphere. They never lose their spark even when weighed down by trouble themselves. Being pillars of strength,they always maintain their presence of mind during confusion or crisis.

Snakes have beautiful skin. They possess a cool and classic air about them. They love expensive things,too. Snakes save for the real thing rather than buy an imitation. Snakes admire power and surround themselves with successful people. Their many talents and natural abilities make them sought-after as leaders. People admire and support Snakes even if they don't understand them.

Whatever happens, Snakes always strike out for themselves. They know how to use people and situations to their advantage. They are destined for fame and fortune.
 
Cancer
They have no life of their own so they like to hear about everyone else's. They have no style, they are gullible, and they are destined to be fat no matter what they eat. They are self pitying, emotional, limp rags. They are unstable, borderline barking mad. They spy on people, smother, never take risks, agoraphobic, gossipy, and have no sense of reality. They like to keep their dirty sexual likes secret until you are with them and they expect you to perform some deviant sex act. But once they have their fill, they will ignore you or do anything to avoid sex with you. Bizarre creatures. They can earn a lot of money but they will spend it all on themselves. The often inherit wealth or marry rich.
Click to expand...

:lol:

My first reaction to this was that the author really hates Cancers, but when I read it again I honestly couldn't deny everything. For my part, the majority is untrue, but the second half of the description hits home. I am also quite mad if you didn't already know.
hmlolkz3.png
 
AristotlesOwn said:
:lol:

My first reaction to this was that the author really hates Cancers, but when I read it again I honestly couldn't deny everything. For my part, the majority is untrue, but the second half of the description hits home. I am also quite mad if you didn't already know.
hmlolkz3.png
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Ari you forgot that you are also damn sexy :cool: :yes:
 
AristotlesOwn said:
:lol:

My first reaction to this was that the author really hates Cancers, but when I read it again I honestly couldn't deny everything. For my part, the majority is untrue, but the second half of the description hits home. I am also quite mad if you didn't already know.
hmlolkz3.png
Click to expand...

WAITTTTTTTTTTTTTttttt


your a cancer?!:hmm:


damn i never knew just the thought could make it go thump like a heartbeat...:devil::devil:
 
There seems to be a few scorps here in this thread.

I better be on my best behaviour.......for now.
 

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