My wife said I am wrong…

[Lick]

I helped my cousin closed the deal on her home so I drove to Temecula to check it out for her and fix a few things. She was dating this new guy that I haven’t met so for me it was like killing two birds with one stone.

I get there, she introduce dude to me and for whatever the reason he is not saying much. So I ignore dude’s bad manners and check out her house for her and give her a list of things to buy a Lowes. I thinking dude and cousin is going to get the stuff but no… Dude sends her on her own. So I started to fix the shit I could until she returned with the parts. It was a foreclosure and they removed all of the fixtures and shit so at this point I thinking he would help or do something… It is his girl right? I’m putting up lights and shit and I turn around and this boy is just sitting on the floor drinking a beer. So I said to him and more? He said he was short. Okay… You only have one or two beers. Cool… So my cousin returns the other fixtures and I’m installing shit. She trying to help with handing me tools and shit and I see dude with another beer. No biggie. Then I see him now with his third beer and that is when I turned to my cousin and asked her for a beer. Dude says I only have one more so I gave my cousin some money to go get Becks. She returns with it and now the boy is not drinking his last Miller, he is drinking Becks. Fuck it I’m thinking… It’s just beer and after this she is on her own with this sorry ass little boy she has.

I finished the stuff I said I would, we talked a little and I told her the boy is sorry. Go get a real man. One that will help her with anything. I don’t know what she sees in this boy but it is her life. I try not to judge people. However, I can see law enforcement stopping him often.

So now it is a week later and she calls and said she is in L.A. and wanted to stop by. I said cool but don’t ever bring that dude to my house. He is not welcomed in my home.You can come, have drinks, hang out, whatever but you can’t bring the boy you are dating. She did not say he was with her so when she showed up… With dude I walked outside and told her that she is welcome but he is not.

Even after telling my wife what went down she says I and wrong and I owe my cousin an apology.

So ladies of SOL (and others) I don’t think I am wrong? I would like to hear from others that may see another side.

 

[Izayoi]

Not wrong at all. Why do people think you have to bend over backwards to host people you don't like in your house? Also people need to learn early on that actions have consequences. If dude wants to know why he wasn't invited then she should tell him. He may have just poor home training and not understand that you don't act like an asshole to people trying to aid and assist someone you care about. Your cuz needs to learn too that even if she has reason to put up with dude's shenanigans nobody else really does. So that is her choice to make. I dated a really annoying dude in college once and just told him he couldn't come with me to events because he didn't know how to act. We didn't date long but his ass got the point after that.
It is her mate and her choice.

 

[melonpecan]

I'm agreeing with Izzy on this.

Some people just don't know, they think everyone is rude and all of the 'polite' stuff we do is extra and unnecessary. If you come across dude again you need to tell him face to face why he rubbed you the wrong way and why he is not invited to your house. BUT YOU HAVE TO CLARIFY.


I say this because I have a feud in my family ten years strong because one party refuses to clarify. Don't sugar coat anything just tell him like you called it. You can't do anything for my cousin cause you sorry and rude so until you get it straight, go home. If he a real man he will acknowledge his mistake and apologize to you and his girl. If he a bitch, he'll get loud. If he do get loud maybe your cuz will see what he really is.

 

[Lick]

Not wrong at all. Why do people think you have to bend over backwards to host people you don't like in your house? Also people need to learn early on that actions have consequences. If dude wants to know why he wasn't invited then she should tell him. He may have just poor home training and not understand that you don't act like an asshole to people trying to aid and assist someone you care about. Your cuz needs to learn too that even if she has reason to put up with dude's shenanigans nobody else really does. So that is her choice to make. I dated a really annoying dude in college once and just told him he couldn't come with me to events because he didn't know how to act. We didn't date long but his ass got the point after that.
It is her mate and her choice.

Yeah! Something is wrong with him or he is just a sorry asshole! Your girl buys a house and you are not helping???? That I don't understand and he was short with his words when he did speak to me so there are some issues I say. But I don't have to deal with him he can go to hell.

 

[Lick]

I'm agreeing with Izzy on this.

Some people just don't know, they think everyone is rude and all of the 'polite' stuff we do is extra and unnecessary. If you come across dude again you need to tell him face to face why he rubbed you the wrong way and why he is not invited to your house. BUT YOU HAVE TO CLARIFY.


I say this because I have a feud in my family ten years strong because one party refuses to clarify. Don't sugar coat anything just tell him like you called it. You can't do anything for my cousin cause you sorry and rude so until you get it straight, go home. If he a real man he will acknowledge his mistake and apologize to you and his girl. If he a bitch, he'll get loud. If he do get loud maybe your cuz will see what he really is.

I wish... There is more to the events of that day but I did not want to write a long ass story of he said shit. We had words... I asked him to help and his reply was and I quote "Maine, I don't know that shit". Also, I found out later that day that he had a six pack four beers. Who do you know that buys only four beers?????
She is my second cousin her Mom helped me with some issues when my Dad passed and she asked if I would check this boy out. I curious to see how he is going to act around the rest of the family cause I got fools in my family. He say the wrong thing to the wrong person and someone will die and the other will go back to jail!

I am praying that she leave him somewhere in May or break up with him. It will not go too well if he is at out family reunion!

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Nope you were right. Wifey needs to understand that as your house, you rule the roost and if you don't want that individual in your house it is your right. You told your cousin you didn't want dude there, SHE shouldn't have brought him. He's not welcome. She was in the wrong for bringing him.

 

[Lick]

Nope you were right. Wifey needs to understand that as your house, you rule the roost and if you don't want that individual in your house it is your right. You told your cousin you didn't want dude there, SHE shouldn't have brought him. He's not welcome. She was in the wrong for bringing him.

Thanks... I have to talk to my wife again and maybe this time she will see my point.

 

[xcluesiv]

u are correct sir

 

[Izayoi]

I wish... There is more to the events of that day but I did not want to write a long ass story of he said shit. We had words... I asked him to help and his reply was and I quote "Maine, I don't know that shit".

Yeah, that is really sorry acting. I'm sure your cousin can do better than that. It's like that saying from Red Greene "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

It's ok to not know stuff, but dude passed up an opportunity to help AND maybe to learn. That's a serious red flag on his overall character. He may have been jealous that you were there and that is also very concerning. I'm just speculating, but all in all you don't have to entertain people you don't find respectful.

 

[phatkitty]

You were definitely in the right. 1 Your cousin should have respected your wishes when you said not to bring him. He seems like a douche, even if you are not handy you can hold a flashlight or something, sweep up, go get the person doing the work some lunch. Make youreself useful.

 

[melonpecan]

I wish... There is more to the events of that day but I did not want to write a long ass story of he said shit. We had words... I asked him to help and his reply was and I quote "Maine, I don't know that shit". Also, I found out later that day that he had a six pack four beers. Who do you know that buys only four beers?????
She is my second cousin her Mom helped me with some issues when my Dad passed and she asked if I would check this boy out. I curious to see how he is going to act around the rest of the family cause I got fools in my family. He say the wrong thing to the wrong person and someone will die and the other will go back to jail!

I am praying that she leave him somewhere in May or break up with him. It will not go too well if he is at out family reunion!

If you have done all you can most you can do now is to protect your cousin as best to your abilities but just enough to let her realize her own mistakes. If she really cares for dude, (and she not pulling one of those "I can change him" roles), some harsh talking at a reunion might be what the both of them need.

I got fam that you can't tell them nothing. And sometimes it take A LOT to get through their head. If a fam intervention somewhere down the line doesn't wake someone up...but my energy would be focused on your cousin...to an extent. At least you can let your aunt know the deal; hopefully momma's work would mean something.

Nope you were right. Wifey needs to understand that as your house, you rule the roost and if you don't want that individual in your house it is your right. You told your cousin you didn't want dude there, SHE shouldn't have brought him. He's not welcome. She was in the wrong for bringing him.

This too. But wife shouldn't even be bucking on this. Like said if you are going to focus your attention put it on the cousin cause only she can drop her habit.


Unless you got a REALLY crazy fam and he run...

 

[GET YOU HOT]

A sign of bad manners, laziness and the drinking; your cousin bringing him with her against your wishes, she is already his enabler, no apologies or excuses until she rids herself of that leech...

 

[Lick]

Yeah, that is really sorry acting. I'm sure your cousin can do better than that. It's like that saying from Red Greene "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

It's ok to not know stuff, but dude passed up an opportunity to help AND maybe to learn. That's a serious red flag on his overall character. He may have been jealous that you were there and that is also very concerning. I'm just speculating, but all in all you don't have to entertain people you don't find respectful.

I think you are on point... I was trying to be cool because he don't know me and I don't know him. Maybe he was thinking my cousin was lying to him and that I'm not family. But if so be a man and say something to me. We were there in the alone and we could have talked then. One thing I do know is he has issues... Issues that are not and will not be mine and as long as they are together until he come to me like a man and talk right then he will stay away.

 

[Lick]

You were definitely in the right. 1 Your cousin should have respected your wishes when you said not to bring him. He seems like a douche, even if you are not handy you can hold a flashlight or something, sweep up, go get the person doing the work some lunch. Make youreself useful.

Right... He could have went with her to get the thinks we needed to fix the house!

 

[Lick]

u are correct sir

Thanks!

 

[Lick]

If you have done all you can most you can do now is to protect your cousin as best to your abilities but just enough to let her realize her own mistakes. If she really cares for dude, (and she not pulling one of those "I can change him" roles), some harsh talking at a reunion might be what the both of them need.

I got fam that you can't tell them nothing. And sometimes it take A LOT to get through their head. If a fam intervention somewhere down the line doesn't wake someone up...but my energy would be focused on your cousin...to an extent. At least you can let your aunt know the deal; hopefully momma's work would mean something.



This too. But wife shouldn't even be bucking on this. Like said if you are going to focus your attention put it on the cousin cause only she can drop her habit.


Unless you got a REALLY crazy fam and he run...

Dawg... I got some... He could be on a milk carton next week. He just don't know. What worries me is that she know this... She is not a dumb girl and can do better than him without effort! I remember when I was in my twenties and I knew everything. But I did listen to people I respected. I talked to her mom and she is not feeling dude in any way so it not looking good for him.

 

[Lick]

A sign of bad manners, laziness and the drinking; your cousin bringing him with her against your wishes, she is already his enabler, no apologies or excuses until she rids herself of that leech...

Yeah! Her Mom said the same thing. She should be talking to cats that are trying to do something in life... I don't even think this guy is a rapper!

 

[melonpecan]

Dawg... I got some... He could be on a milk carton next week. He just don't know. What worries me is that she know this... She is not a dumb girl and can do better than him without effort! I remember when I was in my twenties and I knew everything. But I did listen to people I respected. I talked to her mom and she is not feeling dude in any way so it not looking good for him.

If she knows this, and takes your family serious, maybe she IS trying to get ya'll to scare him away for her...sometimes as a chick I can say we bide our time to get our shit straight not letting the dude know until it's the right time to kick his ass out.

But you also gotta know WHEN to kick they ass out yourself.

 

[largebillsonlyplease]

you were right
except you should have threw a light at him once he started drinking the beers you bought
dude is a loser
leave him out there

 

[kwazdog]

Dude is sorry as fuck, I would of had my lady chillin while I help out with the work even though it's not my house. I suspect dude has a fucked up upbringing, he probably doesn't even understand the social mores and severity of such interactions. Still that's no excuse for the obvious bad behavior.

 

[Mo-Better]

I probably would have read him that first day. Doing nothing yet drinking without making any contributions. Trust me after that first day he wouldn't want to be anywhere near me. One thing I can't stand is a sorry MF'er.

No man your 100% correct.

 

[hocjo2626]

Dude is sorry as fuck, I would of had my lady chillin while I help out with the work even though it's not my house. I suspect dude has a fucked up upbringing, he probably doesn't even understand the social mores and severity of such interactions. Still that's no excuse for the obvious bad behavior.

His moms and pops are probably those same mofos brawling in those IHOP, Denny's youtube videos.

 

[kwazdog]

His moms and pops are probably those same mofos brawling in those IHOP, Denny's youtube videos.

 

[hocjo2626]

I don't think you are wrong at all. The only thing I would've done differently is nip that shit in the bud on the first day to his punk ass face.

 

[Lick]

If she knows this, and takes your family serious, maybe she IS trying to get ya'll to scare him away for her...sometimes as a chick I can say we bide our time to get our shit straight not letting the dude know until it's the right time to kick his ass out.

But you also gotta know WHEN to kick they ass out yourself.

you were right
except you should have threw a light at him once he started drinking the beers you bought
dude is a loser
leave him out there

But not a light... It should have been my size 13 up his sorry ass!

Dude is sorry as fuck, I would of had my lady chillin while I help out with the work even though it's not my house. I suspect dude has a fucked up upbringing, he probably doesn't even understand the social mores and severity of such interactions. Still that's no excuse for the obvious bad behavior.

I probably would have read him that first day. Doing nothing yet drinking without making any contributions. Trust me after that first day he wouldn't want to be anywhere near me. One thing I can't stand is a sorry MF'er.

No man your 100% correct.

Yeah… I was trying to be cool due to the circumstances and meeting him for the first time. Anyway he is fucked now. The word is out and a lot of the family doesn’t like what has happen. She call this morning apologizing and I accepted and I told her I’m not cool with him unless he come to me correcting himself. I don’t give a shit about him being 23… Fuck I was there back in the day and never did shit like that.

His moms and pops are probably those same mofos brawling in those IHOP, Denny's youtube videos.

Funny & sad but it may be true!

I don't think you are wrong at all. The only thing I would've done differently is nip that shit in the bud on the first day to his punk ass face.

Yeah... And I probably would have ended up fucking him up… Now I’m in Temecula in a white hood in a house that has just closed escrow… They don’t want our black asses there and once the police get involved everybody goes to jail. I’m in my fifties Dawg and don’t have the time to waste. Now dude looks like that will be like going to another home, free meal and shit while I posting bail and paying a new attorney bill.

I gave it a good thinking Bruh… Fucking his shit up would not have been an issue as far as I could see. He would need a gun for me. But freedom I love!

 

[GET YOU HOT]

Yeah! Her Mom said the same thing. She should be talking to cats that are trying to do something in life... I don't even think this guy is a rapper!

 

[Upgrade Dave]

I know you asked the ladies but I felt compelled to cosign your behavior in this.
You didn't like dude and didn't want him in your house. Your cousin was rude inviting him over.
I can't hold it against him that he didn't talk much, not being big on idle chit-chat myself but I would have at least offered you a beer and helped where I could (I'm not mechanically inclined either).

 

[Lick]

I know you asked the ladies but I felt compelled to cosign your behavior in this.
You didn't like dude and didn't want him in your house. Your cousin was rude inviting him over.
I can't hold it against him that he didn't talk much, not being big on idle chit-chat myself but I would have at least offered you a beer and helped where I could (I'm not mechanically inclined either).

That's all I'm saying Dawg!

 

[GET YOU HOT]

I know you asked the ladies but I felt compelled to cosign your behavior in this.
You didn't like dude and didn't want him in your house. Your cousin was rude inviting him over.
I can't hold it against him that he didn't talk much, not being big on idle chit-chat myself but I would have at least offered you a beer and helped where I could (I'm not mechanically inclined either).

If he were more open perhaps, that would be good and show that he could participate a plus and offering his beer good, then, having enough discipline to not to submit to his needy-ness lol wow

 

[Lick]

If he were more open perhaps, that would be good and show that he could participate a plus and offering his beer good, then, having enough discipline to not to submit to his needy-ness lol wow

Well... We don't have to worry about him any more... Ether he did something to piss her off and her eyes opened or we opened her eyes. Ether way I glad he is in the past and not with my cousin!

 

[hocjo2626]

Well... We don't have to worry about him any more... Ether he did something to piss her off and her eyes opened or we opened her eyes. Ether way I glad he is in the past and not with my cousin!

Good for her.

 

[yureeka9]

I wouldn't apologize at all. Its your house. You call the shots. If she wants to run around with a clown that's HER "lil red wagon".