my turn for advice!

[DeSiRe]

so there is this guy i was in a relationship with about 7 years ago

we broke up and still messed around for about 2 years after that

then he started seriously dating someone else so i cut it off

now he still calls me on major holidays to wish me me "happy <insert holiday> "...or he will call randomly to just say "hi"

last time we spoke which was about 2 years ago i told him very bluntly we will not be fucking anymore

but he still calls

often time its from a restricted number (i never answer restricted calls)...so i rarely answer...he just leaves voicemails 9 times out of 10

he recently called me last night to go out

1. why is he still calling when i made it very clear no sex will be involved

2. what else can i say to this man so that he can fully understand that moment has passed

thanks for the advice

 

[onyxfemme]

You gave him that "diamond" treatment. He wants you, but who he is w/ needs him. He longs for you, but his current situation has him stuck. You are his "one that got a way" and you will forever be a chase to him. If you really dont wont to deal w/ him anymore....DONT TALK TO HIM. Let him leave voice mails, he will be alright. Eventually he will see you have moved on. Again DONT TALK TO HIM.

 

[femmenoire]

so there is this guy i was in a relationship with about 7 years ago

we broke up and still messed around for about 2 years after that

then he started seriously dating someone else so i cut it off

now he still calls me on major holidays to wish me me "happy <INSERT holiday>"...or he will call randomly to just say "hi"

last time we spoke which was about 2 years ago i told him very bluntly we will not be fucking anymore

but he still calls

often time its from a restricted number (i never answer restricted calls)...so i rarely answer...he just leaves voicemails 9 times out of 10

he recently called me last night to go out

1. why is he still calling when i made it very clear no sex will be involved

2. what else can i say to this man so that he can fully understand that moment has passed

thanks for the advice

Girl men don't ever stop trying. And they never believe no means no. Because one day no will mean yes if they try hard enough.

 

[Lick]

so there is this guy i was in a relationship with about 7 years ago

we broke up and still messed around for about 2 years after that

then he started seriously dating someone else so i cut it off

now he still calls me on major holidays to wish me me "happy <insert holiday> "...or he will call randomly to just say "hi"

last time we spoke which was about 2 years ago i told him very bluntly we will not be fucking anymore

but he still calls

often time its from a restricted number (i never answer restricted calls)...so i rarely answer...he just leaves voicemails 9 times out of 10

he recently called me last night to go out

1. why is he still calling when i made it very clear no sex will be involved

2. what else can i say to this man so that he can fully understand that moment has passed

thanks for the advice

Don’t answer any call, emails or anything! He should catch on and if not you may have to file a restraining order on him.

 

[MCP]

D.

I would say in this matter that you're gonna have to cut off all contact with this man. As long as their is dialogue as far as he's concerned, there will always be a chance.

 

[bigreg2007]

girl stop playing. you keep "entertaining" this niggaz calls and shit because deep down u still want him. go head and give dude some more pussy, you know u want to.

 

[P03t]

he probably still has feelings for you...cuz when you said to him that you won't be sexing him he still calls to say hi...he obvious cares about you or has some deep rooted feeling for you...not alot of men can express a want from a female that ain't sexual....

coming from a man...alot of guys feel that once "with you" always with you...lol....he feels he probably still has some pull with you...thats why he disregard your comments....he probably still loves your ass....you need to politic with him...on a serious level....he will probably open the fuck up or just say fuck it....

good luck...

 

[Crown&Coke]

Just dont ever answer any calls or respond at all. Its that simple. Some people it takes longer than others but eventually they get the point. That means dont even answer on holidays or these random "hi" calls. Just cut all contact.​

 

[BrownTurd]

so there is this guy i was in a relationship with about 7 years ago

we broke up and still messed around for about 2 years after that

then he started seriously dating someone else so i cut it off

now he still calls me on major holidays to wish me me "happy <insert holiday> "...or he will call randomly to just say "hi"

last time we spoke which was about 2 years ago i told him very bluntly we will not be fucking anymore

but he still calls

often time its from a restricted number (i never answer restricted calls)...so i rarely answer...he just leaves voicemails 9 times out of 10

he recently called me last night to go out

1. why is he still calling when i made it very clear no sex will be involved

2. what else can i say to this man so that he can fully understand that moment has passed

thanks for the advice

ummmmmm sista. May be you did not type the entire story...but where in your post did he ask for some sex

Plus you stated you dated then broke up and then messed around for 2 years. My question to you is ....what so different now?

The brotha is one up on you. He is in your head! He has you denying advances that he has not even made yet. Meaning he has you thinking. See a man will never close the door on some pussy. He will keep the lines of communication open just enough to keep the pot warm. I think you already know that. Also he knows he can get it. He dated you for along time. No matter what you tell us or to yourself he knows what buttons to push.

The question is why wont you have sex with him anymore?

 

[DeSiRe]

You gave him that "diamond" treatment. He wants you, but who he is w/ needs him. He longs for you, but his current situation has him stuck. You are his "one that got a way" and you will forever be a chase to him. If you really dont wont to deal w/ him anymore....DONT TALK TO HIM. Let him leave voice mails, he will be alright. Eventually he will see you have moved on. Again DONT TALK TO HIM.

@diamond treatment

very interesting perspective...i think there might be some truth there

Girl men don't ever stop trying. And they never believe no means no. Because one day no will mean yes if they try hard enough.

lol...never say never huh

Don’t answer any call, emails or anything! He should catch on and if not you may have to file a restraining order on him.

D.

I would say in this matter that you're gonna have to cut off all contact with this man. As long as their is dialogue as far as he's concerned, there will always be a chance.

i dunno where he is getting this "chance" from

girl stop playing. you keep "entertaining" this niggaz calls and shit because deep down u still want him. go head and give dude some more pussy, you know u want to.

there was a time when i did want him...but im def not entertianing him...we havent spoken in 2 years! yet he still calls

like i said in the orginal post...last time we actually spoke i bluntly told him we arent fucking anymore...i actually remember him getting off the phone mad

he probably still has feelings for you...cuz when you said to him that you won't be sexing him he still calls to say hi...he obvious cares about you or has some deep rooted feeling for you...not alot of men can express a want from a female that ain't sexual....

coming from a man...alot of guys feel that once "with you" always with you...lol....he feels he probably still has some pull with you...thats why he disregard your comments....he probably still loves your ass....you need to politic with him...on a serious level....he will probably open the fuck up or just say fuck it....

good luck...

intersting perspective...i dunno if i wanna open that can of worms with him tho

Just dont ever answer any calls or respond at all. Its that simple. Some people it takes longer than others but eventually they get the point. That means dont even answer on holidays or these random "hi" calls. Just cut all contact.​

i havent responded in 2 years!...how long will this take

 

[BrownTurd]

You gave him that "diamond" treatment. He wants you, but who he is w/ needs him. He longs for you, but his current situation has him stuck. You are his "one that got a way" and you will forever be a chase to him. If you really dont wont to deal w/ him anymore....DONT TALK TO HIM. Let him leave voice mails, he will be alright. Eventually he will see you have moved on. Again DONT TALK TO HIM.

sistas really......Do you actually believe that? He does not want her. A man will never close the door on some pussy. If you watch sports then use basketball for an example. She use to be his star player but they could not work together so he traded her for another 1st round draft pick. Now she is a bench player. He may call her off the bench occasionally.

Think about it. They dated for years and messed around an additional 2 years. Do you think it took this nigga a decade to figure out she was the right one

 

[DeSiRe]

ummmmmm sista. May be you did not type the entire story...but where in your post did he ask for some sex

Plus you stated you dated then broke up and then messed around for 2 years. My question to you is ....what so different now?

The brotha is one up on you. He is in your head! He has you denying advances that he has not even made yet. Meaning he has you thinking. See a man will never close the door on some pussy. He will keep the lines of communication open just enough to keep the pot warm. I think you already know that. Also he knows he can get it. He dated you for 5 years. No matter what you tell us or to yourself he knows what buttons to push.

The question is why wont you have sex with him anymore?

we didnt date for 5 years

technically we were only "together" for a little under a year...but we continued to have sex 2 years after that

the next two years we remained cool...but i made a decision that we would not be physical anymore because he was in serious relationships....he would still ask me for sex....durring that time ill be honest i would laugh off his sexual advances instead of being firm and explict...

the last time we actually spoke, which was 2 years ago i finally told him we arent fucking....we wont be fucking...EVER....i know he understood me cause i remember him getting off the phone mad...and i thought to myself "looks like ill never hear from him again"

well in the past 2 years around every major holiday he will call to wish me whatever holiday it is....or he will call randomly just say hi (these have all been voicemails)

like i said earlier....i dont answer his calls becausee its from a restricted number and i dont answer those

to answer your question here is why i wont fuck him anymore...
1. cause he has a girl (reason why hes calling me from a restricted number)
2. just cause we fucked in the past doesnt mean we will always fuck....ya snooze u loose

 

[BrownTurd]

we didnt date for 5 years

technically we were only "together" for a little under a year...but we continued to have sex 2 years after that

the next two years we remained cool...but i made a decision that we would not be physical anymore because he was in serious relationships....he would still ask me for sex....durring that time ill be honest i would laugh off his sexual advances instead of being firm and explict...

the last time we actually spoke, which was 2 years ago i finally told him we arent fucking....we wont be fucking...EVER....i know he understood me cause i remember him getting off the phone mad...and i thought to myself "looks like ill never hear from him again"

well in the past 2 years around every major holiday he will call to wish me whatever holiday it is....or he will call randomly just say hi (these have all been voicemails)

like i said earlier....i dont answer his calls becausee its from a restricted number and i dont answer those

to answer your question here is why i wont fuck him anymore...
1. cause he has a girl (reason why hes calling me from a restricted number)
2. just cause we fucked in the past doesnt mean we will always fuck....ya snooze u loose

How strong are you? Does he have a lot of pull on you? Is he someone you can get wrap up into emotionally easily? If you answered yes to the questions I asked then not speaking with him is a good thing

But if the answer is no then their is no point in ignoring his calls. If he is mainly calling on Holidays then I don't see anything wrong with having a convo with him. Because you dated and shared special things together does not mean you can't be cordial to each other.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

Don't worry about it.

I broke up with my ex 3 years ago. She's moved on twice now, there's zero chance for sex, I live in another state and yet we still talked for over an hour last night. It was just a friendly conversation. I was glad to hear from her and she was glad to talk to me. We went for dinner a few weeks before I moved. Again, no sex. Neither of us even tried.

Sometimes that's all it is.

 

[Crown&Coke]

i havent responded in 2 years!...how long will this take

Who knows? Just dont ever respond. He will get the point eventually.​

 

[Harlem's Angel]

Wait, did he call saying he wanted sex? Maybe you guys can just be friends

 

[DeSiRe]

How strong are you? Does he have a lot of pull on you? Is he someone you can get wrap up into emotionally easily? If you answered yes to the questions I asked then not speaking with him is a good thing

But if the answer is no then their is no point in ignoring his calls. If he is mainly calling on Holidays then I don't see anything wrong with having a convo with him. Because you dated and shared special things together does not mean you can't be cordial to each other.

honestly...i dont know what he wants anymore...im just going off past behavior

i just dont want to find the situation exactly where it was last time we talked

i guess u cant find that out until we talk again

 

[DeSiRe]

Don't worry about it.

I broke up with my ex 3 years ago. She's moved on twice now, there's zero chance for sex, I live in another state and yet we still talked for over an hour last night. It was just a friendly conversation. I was glad to hear from her and she was glad to talk to me. We went for dinner a few weeks before I moved. Again, no sex. Neither of us even tried.

Sometimes that's all it is.

thats great yall have a relationship like that

do u think things would be different if yall lived in the same city?

 

[BrownTurd]

honestly...i dont know what he wants anymore...im just going off past behavior

i just dont want to find the situation exactly where it was last time we talked

i guess u cant find that out until we talk again

It has been two years. So things most likely will be different. If you don't like the way things are you could always go back to not answering the phone

 

[Dannyblueyes]

thats great yall have a relationship like that

do u think things would be different if yall lived in the same city?

I only moved to Oakland about a month ago. Things were pretty much the same before I left. In fact we went for dinner back in April.

 

[Jamaone]

interesting thread, i would say communication is the key.

1/ if you do not want any type of relationship at all, then next time he calls, answer the phone and politely let him know that you do not wish for him to continue calling you.

2/I think the reason he is calling is because he still has feelings for you, i find it suspecious that he calls from restricted phones, how will you know that he is the one calling.

3/Some people can be friends after relationships, but if you do not want this and it is obvious, i think instead of saying I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU, that you should speak with him and let him know, I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU IN General, i have moved on and you should too, or just CHANGE YOUR number.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

You need to BLUNTLY say it and not in that way that you women say things all coy and shit. Break off all communications with him and maybe, just maybe, he'll stop actin like a fool.