My New Internet Crush...Amanda Seales
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Amanda Seales Teaches Us How to Dismantle Racism Through Comedy
The star of "Smart, Funny & Black" sits down with Angela Rye to break down the angry black woman stereotype.
Amanda Seales Teaches Us How to Dismantle Racism Through Comedy
AS TOLD TO OLIVIA FLEMING
NOV 6, 2019
For our 2019 Women Who Dare series, Amanda Seales, the star of Smart, Funny & Black and author of Small Doses: Potent Truths for Everyday Use, sits down with CNN political commentator Angela Rye to give us a lesson on how to dismantle racism through humor—and ditch the angry black woman stereotype for good.
Amanda Seales: Angela, you bring humor to politics in such an organic and powerful way. I think a lot of folks don't know that you can take politics seriously while also acknowledging that sometimes you do have to laugh about how loud all this is. I think authenticity will always resonate, and anybody who knows you knows that when you're on camera speaking about these things, the passion is genuine, the comedy is genuine, the commentary is genuine.
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Angela Rye: Hell, I'm not going on air to be funny. I am mad most of the time about what's going on, and so, yes, you get to see real authentic truth coming through on the screen. I think people are tired of the separation of "This is who I am when I'm in my public persona" versus "This is who I am when I'm just sitting with my girls."
Amanda: I know you said nine times of 10 you're genuinely angry—and I don't know how people could not be angry about the things that are going on—but I feel like you're not being negative, you're just calling out how it is. Do people come at you like, "You're being too negative?"
Angela: I don't hear negative as much as I hear angry. They're like, "Why are you so mad?" But, I'm sorry, we were talking about Donald Trump having a foreign entity interfere with the elections, I'm mad about it. So I've embraced the moments where I've just been like, "No, I'm not going to try so hard to avoid the angry black woman stereotype." That's one of the things that I hear about you, people ask why you're always mad on Instagram. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that. Even on your podcast, Small Doses, what are the things that set you off and why do you feel like, "Okay, I'm going to hone in on this today. I'm not going to give you all a devotional or a meditation-wellness moment."
Amanda: [Laughs.] For me, when I look at the macro of how we, as a people, are sensitive sometimes, I can see it in these micro-aggressions that take place. They trigger me, and then I feel like, my God, I've got to address this. So, maybe it was just a little thing that gets to be a big thing. I think once you're a visionary, sometimes people really can't understand that you're looking at something 10 steps beyond the thing that's right in front of you. They're like, "Why are you mad at such a little thing that's in front of you?" And it's like, "Because this little thing is the catalyst to this bigger thing."
Sometimes I feel I'm like the angry professor. I would love to just be the neighborhood philosopher, but on the Internet, I'm represented in a very finite way. I'll have a day of Instagram posts that range from completely angry for a minute to me playing with my cat to me dancing and singing something. But it seems like the angry ones will be what people attach to the most, instead of looking at the big picture. But sometimes, what I'm talking about is not a comedy moment. I think people want us to be one thing, like, you're a comedian, so be funny. I have all these labels that make my blood boil. But at the end of the day, my humor ends up being the tool that I try to work with the most to get folks to resonate with the messages I'm trying to put out.
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Angela: I get it. You know, what has helped me process the anger from the 2016 election is realizing how dark I feel after I've had a negative segment. If it's something where it was super combative, it's me figuring out like, okay, that doesn't serve me either. There are some aspects of the feedback I receive where I'm like, "You know what? That's legitimate. That's a legitimate point." Like, let me process through this with my therapist. [Laughs.] It's been super helpful, because what I've learned is everything doesn't have to be at 10 or, really with me, 1,000. As I go into my 40th birthday, it's like, all right, I can deliver and execute a strong punch without me screaming or without me spazzing out.
Amanda wears a Givenchy top and corset, givenchy.com, and pants, $1,090, bergdorfgoodman.com. David Yurman necklace, $15,000, davidyurman.com. Maria Canale earrings, $4,150, and ring (left), $3,170, saksfifthavenue.com. Bottega Veneta ring (right), $830, bottegaveneta.com.
ALLIE HOLLOWAY
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Amanda: I feel like I'm trying to balance so many things. Right now it seems like an impossible balance to find. That is a journey I'm on too. Sometimes people think because we're in the public eye and on-screen, that we're strategically plotting a way to deliver things to gain a certain response. I won't say that that's not happening sometimes, but honestly, I'm not strategically deciding to be angry. I think I could actually be a lot more conscious of how I process my emotions through my words. I mean, back to your point again, I need to work with my therapist. There's the anger management of it all. How do you crack your response to get the outcome you want? That's not about manipulating the other person, it's more about managing your emotions. I just feel like our brains work so fast that a lot of times our emotions are moving at the speed of light. Our emotions are genuinely, authentically legitimate to what's happening, but sometimes, they don't necessarily serve us. Like what you said about the darkness that comes after it … you're just like, "Oh, man. I'm about to have an anxiety attack." [Laughs.]
Angela: That's such a good point about anger management and it being about getting the outcome you want. I see that so differently now from therapy. It's like there are things that may be a trigger for me that somebody else might look at and be like, "What the hell is wrong?" People will be like, "What is wrong with you? All I said was pass the ketchup." But to you, it brings up that time when you didn't have any of your power left because of someone … Do you know what I mean?
Amanda: Yes.
Angela: The thing that is so interesting to me is you can have a reaction to something and everybody else is like, "Yo, what happened?" [Laughs.] Because they haven't experienced the same traumas that you have or the same upbringing that you had. So with me, it's not about—I know you used the word manipulation—but it's not about getting the outcome you want, it's making sure that you're fully processed and whole so that you can engage differently. Because I stay being mad. If somebody walked behind me in the store, Amanda, I'm ready to Set It Off like Cleo, like, "Can I help you with something?"
Amanda: Oh, my God. I was on a flight the other day, and they were boarding first class. This guy was coming through like old and bold trying to get past me, saying, "I'm in first class." And we were like, "So are we!" Then he goes, "Wait, you're in first class?"
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Angela: Yo, the first-class triggers are real.
Amanda: Instead of giving him a piece of my mind, I just went, "Surprise, surprise," and we kept boarding. He stopped in his tracks, he got all that he needed, and we got on the plane. In the work that we both do, our economy of words is so essential. Sometimes if I'm doing a show, I may only have 10 or 15 minutes to get my point across onstage. You're doing segments where they're like, "Okay, we've got five people up here. Everybody has got to say something in three words or less if you want it to resonate."
Angela: [Laughs.]
Amanda: I'm working on really trying to be more conscious of the economy of words in my regular life and even in my off-days and on the mic, or on my podcast. You really start to see the importance of how critical it is to make sure that the words that you are choosing are not willy-nilly, for lack of a better word. My uncle had said, when I talked to him about writing my book, he was like, "A book is a deposition, so make sure you edit it and edit it twice." Spoken like a true judge, because he used to be the judge in Grenada. But the anger is also a part of the humor. A lot of times, I'm coming from comedic places to try to quell my anger or I am diverting it. But when I can, I'm trying to bring something to people's attention that they may not be willing to hear with volume, but more so with humor.
Angela: Yes. What I love about you is there is a Renaissance man, but you are all things Renaissance woman. You can tap dance, you could've probably been a Living Color Fly Girl, you can do gymnastics, you can do a back flip. Right now on the 'gram, you can act, you're a comedian, you can write, you're now an author. How many more jobs you got, Amanda? What else do you do that I don't know about?
Amanda: [Laughs.]
Angela: Oh, I forgot. Rapper, host of a game show that at some point, somebody is going to get real smart and find that thing up. What else? You are on the panel show. What else, Amanda? You've got 9,000 jobs. What else? Unofficial critical race theory professor …
Amanda: "Unofficial critical race theory professor" is a tattoo that I am going to get.
Angela: It can be a temporary tattoo. Only a temporary.
Amanda: You know what's wild? I will never forget until the day I die that in the midst of everything going on, you sent me a gift certificate to a spa. I was like, "There is a real one out here." In this business, I have had to really navigate solo for a number of reasons, one of them being, there weren't a lot of sisters in those spaces who were forming sisterhoods, so you kind of just have to figure it out. And I just will never forget when you did that. It inspired me, it blew me away, I got emotional.
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Angela: Wait, can we pause on this for a minute? This is another common point. We are—it shows up as anger, but we're actually really sensitive and in need of a lot of hugs. People don't always understand that. But I do have to judge you for a minute on this spa certificate. Because I was like, "What's your favorite spa?" What did you say to me?
Amanda: [Laughs.] I don't know.
Angela: You were like, "I don't really go to the spa." You have to go, Amanda. That's critical.
ALLIE HOLLOWAY
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Amanda: I know, and I see that judgment wholeheartedly. A lot of time, when people are seeing my reactions to things and whatnot, it's like, "Yes, I'm a little on the edge right now, maybe I need to get a massage?" [Laughs.] I would be the first to admit, though, that this year, people have gotten to see me front-and-center adjusting to a whole new life. Going through that process in front of people, partially by my own hands because of me sharing a lot, but also the media is really taxing.
Angela: When you say this has been a year of transition for you, what do you mean?
Amanda: Celebrity is so bizarre to me—the concept of celebrity and of people caring so much about your life beyond your work. In the last year, with the release of my comedy special, I Be Knowin', and now being on tour with my book and putting out music and cohosting The Real, my visibility has changed in terms of my public view and my professional space, who's in my corner and how they're operating. All at once, the people I had trusted and felt like they had my back, proved, horribly, that they did not.
I realized that my passion for my work and for my comedy and for the people is no longer something I'm cultivating in a lab, but now something that is happening in process in real time in front of people, and therefore, it's going to incur all sorts of reactions and responses. And they may not all be positive. It feels like a simultaneously heart-lifting and heartbreaking time for me, because I've got to see such dreams that I have aspired to for a very long time by putting out a special, and completing a book, and doing a bus tour with Smart, Funny & Black … I've gotten to see these things come to fruition, but at the same time incur some darkness from them that I did not foresee. I have to deal with that in front of people who are expecting you to have grace about things they have no idea about.
Angela: On a smaller scale, I went through some things here, too, just in terms of how I thought I was presenting versus how it showed up for the receiver. Politics is small, but I would argue that Hollywood is smaller, and even pettier.
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Amanda: Yes.
Angela: What you instinctively learn is that you have to just really understand your own power. You think you are being straight to the point and direct, and people think you are intimidating, you know? Or people think that you are over the top, and so you have to be mindful of how you receive that criticism. Let me use you as an example: When I see Amanda do this, it puts me off. So, if I'm doing the same exact thing, it's like, Okay, I can't do that. It's not going to be received well. So, my instinct here doesn't matter, it's the impact. I've had to really learn that, and I have had to redo a lot of stuff and reset some relationships. I'm walking in independent, thinking people don't respect me, going against those triggers again, but nobody ever said they didn't respect me. They just see something completely different. So, I'm expecting you to see it my way, but I've never communicated that to you, you know? So, it's like how selfish and egocentric of me. Let me try to, as my mom would say, perspective-take and see that somebody's view is different than mine, and isn't that a blessing? Because now we can have a conversation that's well-rounded and not just one way or one-sided.
Amanda: There is something that you said about the fact that when you have a point of view and you present it in a declarative way, sometimes people think that you don't care about somebody else's point of view. I think there is this aspect of expectation of unsureness that people want specifically from women, and if you don't deliver that, it makes them be triggered. Like if I don't say, "I think," and I say, "I know," or I declare something, I'm being regarded in a certain way that I didn't detect. But I don't find myself willing to want to start presenting as if I don't know something just to make other people comfortable.
Angela: That's real.
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Amanda: My next comedy special is going to be incredibly personal and I haven't really …
Angela: Wait, this is breaking news. When is this special?
Amanda: I'm going to do another special, that's going to happen, it's just a matter of where. But the first thing before I even get to that is me figuring out, okay, if I'm going to do it, what is it going to be about? I use humor to get people in the mud and in the weeds with politics and race relations, and now I feel like I'm challenging myself to use that to get in the mud and in the weeds with myself. I don't know what will come out, but I think it's going to be very therapeutic. I want to be able to have that freedom but not from a place of ego, but rather from a place of liberation.
ALLIE HOLLOWAY
Angela: That's right. If we can get to a place where our freedom, not our past triggers, not—our emotional cocktail is the very thing that sets somebody else free. That hypothesis is what I want to live.
Amanda: I've actually kind of really refocused myself in remembering that my art is my activism. Social media took me down a road, especially after my Caitlyn Jenner moment, where I was just being myself in that space, and it ended up going viral because a lot of folks feel like when they're in those spaces, they can't be themselves, or that they come off as impolite or disruptive. I think that me not being polite and not being sensitive definitely inspired a lot of folks. That set off this journey, social media-wise; somehow I became a personality. But I don't have the personality to be a personality. There is something to be said about people who take on that moniker; they really have a disposition about them that is very amenable and a certain peacefulness and patience for people that I admittedly don't always have.
Angela: [Laughs.]
Amanda: It's my constant work, but it is my work. For me, I find being a personality ends up distracting from what my actual activism work is, and it's rooted in using my voice in an artistic space. That's the thing. I've had to check myself about that, because I think the lines get blurred. Like, oh, you're a comedian, you should stay in your space. I want to be a lot more precise about how I am activating with my art, how I'm activating with my words. That is a strong, powerful responsibility that I take on.
The lines are blurred in that we don't have a choice but to use our voices. We don't have a choice but to use our platform. I have a friend who would say, "You're making that choice," but I feel like I owe that to the ancestors, and I owe that to my dad who sacrificed to be an activist, and I owe that to the future. I feel like when I see an injustice, I went to law school to be an advocate, so that's what you're going to see me do: advocate. And to the extent that it's helpful, I use whatever I can in my toolbox to ensure that we're heard, we're seen, and we're known, right? Especially when we're just trying to survive. My work for this year was liberation, and I'd just be damned if we don't get one step closer to it this year.
Angela: I hope you'll call your next special Trigger [laughs].
Amanda: There'll be a bit about triggers, that's for damn sure. I just wanted to add that I think you and I having a friendship and a sisterhood and so being able to be on the same plane and disagree and agree, that's also an essential part of the movement forward. It doesn't have to be uncomfortable, you know what I mean in that?
Angela: Yes. There's no place for that anymore. I'm getting good at receiving. My 40th birthday is going to be about receiving. I will ask, and I will open my arms out to receive. Now, Amanda, go and be a woman who dares.
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Amanda Seales, sho been at the beach a lot lately
speaking of The Real hosts.. https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/jeannie-mai-xenophobia-coronavirus-pandemic-fear-racist-asians-010354759.html
www.bgol.us
Damn....
This is a damn shame because she is actually not a bad looking woman, but sometimes your mouth could get you in trouble.
One of those iguanas should have bit her silly ass.
She’s campaigning. Onlyfans is next. She’ll claim to be an empowered feminist who owns her sexuality who isn’t controlled by men’s patriarchal restrictions.
Man, lissen. Opinionated women always have trouble finding men or keeping men. I'll bet that in an argument, she can't hear what you say because the whole time you're talking, she's thinking of the next thing she's going to say. That's just a hunch. I do want to cuddle with her though. I'm conflicted.
Truth bars
Naaaa. She really believe that shit, but you're right. She aint that important and so... Nothing to see here.
Exactly this. It's like a game or competition to them. They wanna be right, not come to an understanding, take the lessons and move the fuck on. It's hard being with these women long term because none of the edges get smoothed out, none of th3 miscommunication gets fixed, and nothing gets any better. Pointless endeavor.
trust if u confront her on her cap moments she will pack up and go home, she is a attention queen.
bars that can't be disputed
most people are dense...if you can articulate bullshit seamless enough people take it as gospel ... she is doing nothing but tossing word salad
I just want to lick her bowl when finally she stops talking
Never had a positive interaction with her back in the mtv days