My girl is depresssed, can't shed her final 20 lbs

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Her original goal was 40lbs, she's lost 20 so far - but has reached a plateau and has been wavering at her current weight for the past couple months. She's especially upset that everybody else can lose it easily, except for her (her friends, other people at the gym - especially older women, etc.)

I'm also involved in the gym. I have my goals and I've done alot of reading, research, and stuck hard-fast to what I've learned, and my results only get better and better. I've tried talking to her countless times about her diet, her workouts, etc ..... :smh: always a no go and has been a conflict area of our relationship (me trying to give her advice).

So I've learned to completely shut the fuck up, and I used this strategy recently while she cried and told me how fed-up and depressed she was on the matter.

She's doing Weight watchers which seems to teach that you can eat whatever you want, as long as you don't exceed your daily points. She does cardio and some classes at the gym, roughly about 4 days/week on 1.5 hrs.

I've tried telling her that she needs to incorporate weight training, needs to eat 4-6 meals per day, and needs to ditch the whatever you want methodology and start eating a bit cleaner. She finds someway to refute and rationalize all of this.

What am I supposed to do in this situation? How do I even "offer support" when she isn't open to taking real actions to conquer her problems?
 
Tell her to go organic. She will lose 30 lbs and not even have to workout. The downside is that it's a little more expensive and most restaurants dont serve it if you eat out a lot.
Good luck.
 
if she's plateaued, then a changeup is required. is she looking for something specific i.e. stomach, legs, hips, sparetire etc? i think compound exercises and super sets if the way to go so generally, i would recommend women focus on plyometrics exercises weights for the back, legs and triceps and reduce the cardio to say 15 minutes per workout. i think

have her try a three day rotation

legs:
1- olympian squat no weights: stand legs shower length apart, step back and till back leg and front leg is at 90 degrees then raise hands above ahead, hold for 20 seconds each leg do 3 sets superset pushup right away then rest for 45 secs
2 - single leg squat on a bench or box try touching the heel of the suspended leg to the ground do 3 sets 8-10 reps superset dips or tricep presdown right away with 45 sec rest
3 - single leg barbel deadlift - just the bar for her 8-10 reps 3 sets
4 - walking lunges with no mid stop, hand on hips no weights for 40 steps 3 sets
finish off with stair master or incline treadmill speed 3 constant incline 2 for 1 min, incline 4 for 1 min, incline 6 for 1 min, then incline 4 for 1 min, then incline 2 for 1 min and continue for 12-15 minutes max
then finish

all this should take you no more than an 70-75 minues, 45-50 minutes of weights and 15 minutes of cardio
 
I am doing Weight Watchers as well, and while you supposedly can eat whatever you want as long as you do not go over your points, there are a few things you need to tell your partner to consider:

1) It is easy to underestimate points, especially when eating out or not considering all the ingredients in something. Plus is she really tracking EVERYTHING that she eats? Sneaking a candy bar, or crackers at work adds up as well. Even though it is geared towards eating what you want, the plan does encourage you to eat recommended amounts of fruits and vegetables daily.

2) Has she adjusted her POINTS total as she has lost weight? The more weight you lose, the lower your overall daily POINTS total will become. Also, doing things such as cutting out sodas, drinking plenty of water, and eating healthier overall will help.

2) While in the beginning just sticking to the points regimen will lead to weight loss, but the only way to continue it is to include exercise as part of the plan as well. I do not know if you should push her into doing weights, etc., but she needs to get active with some walking, or moderate exercise to start.

3) If she is frustrated with you speaking to her, have her speak to her coach or other members at the WW meetings. If she is an online member, there are dozens of tips and forums on the WW website - that is what they are for. It is normal for someone to hit a plateau, but the coach and other members can help her refocus if she does not want to take your advice.

Besides being supportive and not focusing on the negative (plateau), but the positive (she has lost and kept off 20 lbs), there is not much more that you can do for her, she will have to come to the conclusion that she will have to adjust her eating habits. Let her know weight loss is never easy, it is hard work. Good Luck.
 
First of all, I'm of the opinion that the WW poins and calories in/calories out dogma is about 80% BS in terms of loss and maintenance.

Anyway, make sure she has adjusted her intake to accomodate her new weight. The less you weigh, the less calories you burn.

Cardio is only good for some much. Reiterate weight training with weights that will challenge her (the school of thought that says multiple reps of light weights is also BS).

I'm willing to bet that she eats the typical American diet that is built around a bunch of starch and since she's on WW, she can justify under the points/calories in v. calories out theory. Unfortunately, all those starches are only causing an insulin response that will cause her body to hold on to fat + have an increased appetite.
 
I am doing Weight Watchers as well, and while you supposedly can eat whatever you want as long as you do not go over your points, there are a few things you need to tell your partner to consider:

1) It is easy to underestimate points, especially when eating out or not considering all the ingredients in something. Plus is she really tracking EVERYTHING that she eats? Sneaking a candy bar, or crackers at work adds up as well. Even though it is geared towards eating what you want, the plan does encourage you to eat recommended amounts of fruits and vegetables daily.

2) Has she adjusted her POINTS total as she has lost weight? The more weight you lose, the lower your overall daily POINTS total will become. Also, doing things such as cutting out sodas, drinking plenty of water, and eating healthier overall will help.

3) While in the beginning just sticking to the points regimen will lead to weight loss, but the only way to continue it is to include exercise as part of the plan as well. I do not know if you should push her into doing weights, etc., but she needs to get active with some walking, or moderate exercise to start.

4) If she is frustrated with you speaking to her, have her speak to her coach or other members at the WW meetings. If she is an online member, there are dozens of tips and forums on the WW website - that is what they are for. It is normal for someone to hit a plateau, but the coach and other members can help her refocus if she does not want to take your advice.

Besides being supportive and not focusing on the negative (plateau), but the positive (she has lost and kept off 20 lbs), there is not much more that you can do for her, she will have to come to the conclusion that she will have to adjust her eating habits. Let her know weight loss is never easy, it is hard work. Good Luck.

Thanks alot for your response, emphasis on #4. I'll tell her to speak to her coach and to utilize the forums, I know she isn't doing either of these. She did adjust her point total, but if I remember correctly she said her points went up? I have a very good suspicion that the she underestimates AND under-reports her points but I don't want to call her on it, though somebody needs to. She always 'sugarcoats' her efforts with me so she probably does the same at her meetings. She's just not being honest with herself and I'm sick of hearing her whine about this BS, I feel helpless. Hopefully this goes over well

First of all, I'm of the opinion that the WW poins and calories in/calories out dogma is about 80% BS in terms of loss and maintenance.

Anyway, make sure she has adjusted her intake to accomodate her new weight. The less you weigh, the less calories you burn.

Cardio is only good for some much. Reiterate weight training with weights that will challenge her (the school of thought that says multiple reps of light weights is also BS).

I'm willing to bet that she eats the typical American diet that is built around a bunch of starch and since she's on WW, she can justify under the points/calories in v. calories out theory. Unfortunately, all those starches are only causing an insulin response that will cause her body to hold on to fat + have an increased appetite.

Well I always thought it was well agreed, researched, and proven that calories in <vs> calories out is the defacto forumula for losing weight. Before I took the silence route I did suggest that she needed to either adjust her intake and/or output because of the weight change - she blew it off. When she does eat, its usually 2 meals a day, with dinner being some frozen healthy choice meal :smh: :dunno:

I'll give it one last shot at suggesting these things to her, thanks!
 
Theoretically calories do count. However, if you are getting your calories from the wrong fuel source, that will directly oppose what you're trying to do in terms of weight loss. When I said that, I should have said from the perspective of being a free-range eater as long as you don't go above xxxx calories not necessarily being the most efficient way to lose FAT (not weight) and keep it off without torturing yourself.

As for frozen dinners, loaded with carbs and sodium which equals water retention.

Unless she is bedridden, she needs a diet overhaul. More protein.

I'll try to find some resources and post them later.
 
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Hopefully this should shed some light on why the "eat whatever as long as calories are low" method isn't really a metabolically efficient way to shed excess fat.
 
Listen man, I been there and I'll be the first to tell you, that you're in the most differcult part of your life. But, there is something you can do and its not talking. You have to show her what she's doing to herself, by having her put on a "Calorie counter":dance: The Calorie Counter is a way to count your daily calorie intake and manage your weight. Have her put it on her side for the whole day, so she can see how much calories she burn daily, because everybody is different. After she see how much calorie she burn a day, teach her how to read food labels. Believe me fam, this is the most effective technique, when it comes to loosing weight.

Taking in more calories than you burn= weight gain

Taking in less calories than you burn= weight loss



StayFit-Multi-Function-Pedometer_3047_r.jpg


Damn, I'm giving away all techniques:lol:
 
Thanks fam, this is a good idea - showing her is far better than telling her bc she's like Colin Powell on that listening tip.
:lol:

Will anyone do?

Listen man, I been there and I'll be the first to tell you, that you're in the most differcult part of your life. But, there is something you can do and its not talking. You have to show her what she's doing to herself, by having her put on a "Calorie counter":dance: The Calorie Counter is a way to count your daily calorie intake and manage your weight. Have her put it on her side for the whole day, so she can see how much calories she burn daily, because everybody is different. After she see how much calorie she burn a day, teach her how to read food labels. Believe me fam, this is the most effective technique, when it comes to loosing weight.

Taking in more calories than you burn= weight gain

Taking in less calories than you burn= weight loss



StayFit-Multi-Function-Pedometer_3047_r.jpg


Damn, I'm giving away all techniques:lol:
 
Recreational Fucking And Dancing Will Help Too

Thats a topic for another day.
She claims the sex is great, I give great head, she gets great nuts, but she's never ever in the mood. I would call her a liar except for the fact the she doesn't even masturbate herself. Maybe something's wrong on a hormonal level :confused:
 
Thats a topic for another day.
She claims the sex is great, I give great head, she gets great nuts, but she's never ever in the mood. I would call her a liar except for the fact the she doesn't even masturbate herself. Maybe something's wrong on a hormonal level :confused:

the sex is good & she don't want it???

something ain't right in those waters ... ain't no way my man is giving me bomb ass sex and I don't want it ...
 
the sex is good & she don't want it???

something ain't right in those waters ... ain't no way my man is giving me bomb ass sex and I don't want it ...

Yea, I know what it sounds like. I trust her. She says its pressure and stress from the relationship that turns her off - apparently I'm too critical. I'm working on that, I just don't know how to say shit to her anymore.
Its frustrating as hell but I'm trying to work thru this shit one step at a time, at least to say I tried.
 
man leave her ass alone... she's gonna complain for the rest of her life.... get the fuck out while you can... life is too fuckin short to be with someone thats not listening... especially when it's positive.... roll the fuck out
 
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