Moral Maturity and Self Love

[dHustla]

I opened this thread when Onyx bumped it on 12/3/2010 and I just got around to reading it.

Owl really said so much and he did it by saying so little. *DAP*


There is really nothing much for me to add, except probably my solution.


My solution is not for black women.... It's for me.

29 y/o Black man. I will work out more. Eat better and more regularly. I will continue to develop self respect. I will demand respect from women in my life by first demanding that standard of respect for myself. I will not deal with women that do not have respect for themselves or respect for me. Why? Because I deserve, desire, and am willing to work for better. I will work harder and more diligently towards my goals(short-term & long-term). I will take care to keep a shape-up and my hair done. why? Because I've never been nurtured and since I'm grown, if I won't, then who will? And I need to make it through 12 months without gettin locked up (don't judge me )

 

[mailboxpimp]

**From a blog that I visit wanted to share w/ SOL**

It seems that many black women like to pretend to love themselves online but have been in toxic environments throughout their lives where black women were abandoned, demeaned, dishonored and disrespected. Many black women have not seen black women being valued apart from their usefulness as rescuers, enablers and mules. This has impacted the development of self-love among many black girls that has translated into adulthood.

We love to say that black children mean a lot to us but the majority of black women I have spoken to about their family planning have justified repeated patterns of unplanned children. There are scores of black women who make decisions to have more children without having any plans to improve their standard of living and without requiring marriage from the men who are sleeping in their beds and eating their food in their house.

We love to say that blacks don't condone abortion as birth control but there are twice as many abortions of black fetuses than there are live births of black babies. Are all of those abortions due to rape pregnancy or incest pregnancy? I honestly don't believe that they are.

We love to say that we're pro-family but at least 70% of black children are growing up in broken homes and we pretend that homes are not "broken" when children are fatherless.

We love to say that we aren't as promiscuous as white women (which is hardly a standard of measure that we should be mentioning) but many black women do not seem to know how to depict womanhood without fetishizing and objectifying themselves. The "black whore" complex is in full effect in the way that many black women choose to present their sexual definitions and we don't want to talk about it.

We love to say that we don't need a man but in all of the all-black residential areas that I have been in, the ones without large numbers of responsible black fathers supervising their sons seem to be the most toxic and most dangerous for black women and their daughters.

We love to say that we want collective advancement but we often get hostile when we are challenged to dismantle dysfunctional class conditioning and address emotional woundedness.

What will it take for us to be courageous with our stance for moral maturity?

**Discuss**

thanks............. im taking this......lol... gonna post it somewhere else & take full credit for it... just kidding... no im not!....its a good question / observation!!!.....i dont feel likethinking about that type of shit so early in the am... shit is too thought provoking so early in the morning.... so i will not be leaving a response... shit really feels like a life test question.... & i didnt study for this shit today..... so... i'll get back to you!

 

[GET YOU HOT]

So, a man's mind can be attractive to women? Interesting...


*Glad he was blessed with intelligence in addition to his other attributes...*

 

[CT's Finest]

 

[KW13537]

Having two daughters, I strive to be a good and strong father to them. I want them to see how a man should treat them, how a man should behave and carry himself, so that, one day, when they are looking for that man to share their lives with, they can make good choices. I teach them that there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. I want them to be strong and wise individuals so they can have good partnerships, then good families. I want them to understand that they should learn how to be a good friend, THEN learn how be a good girlfriend and later, wife and mother. I want their education to be a source of strength, not a sign of weakness. I tell them that being a woman never means being less than a man. It means that men and women are half of a greater whole. I give my children this example: I lead this family as a man and the head of this house. I make the final decisions in our family because a real man does these things out of love and always in the best interests of his family. It is his ultimate RESPONSIBILITY! Their mother supports me and provides me with the strength to do what I need to do. And we do this together, neither being greater than the other. In being this example to them, my hope is that they will carry on these lessons into their lives and have a happy future.