Why did I stop?
The main reason I stopped shooting this summer was that I was burned out. As much as I wanted to be strong and not admit defeat, it’s what happens. The body of work I built only took me 6 months. My life at the time was without moderation; it was completely consumed with all things porn. I shot constantly and I didn’t hold anything back, and my body started to hate me for it. And once my body wasn’t feeling it, my head checked out. Porn had become more business than pleasure and that’s not what I wanted. Porn should be fun for the performers or it’s just not fun to watch.
The blog I posted the day I quit wasn’t intended to be an end-all be-all and neither is this one. I didn’t ever use the word “retired” because it’s like saying “always” or “never”. And we all know that it’s NEVER a good idea to speak in finites. However, I realize I do live a relatively public life via Twitter and porn, and my actions raise some questions. I’m all for clarification. I see these ADT boners scrambling, trying to read between the tweets and piece together a full picture of my life because they have nothing better to do than dissect the lives of pornstars. They call themselves fans but they aren’t. Fans are people who support you because they like the person you are, no matter what you’re going through and including doing whatever makes you happy. This post isn’t for the forum rats. This post is for those who’ve witnessed and shared with me all of my crazy experiences of growth throughout my sexual documentary.
Why am I shooting again?
Am I making a “comeback”? Sure. I’ll shoot some more porn. I mean, I kinda just did. My body has recovered and I honestly miss it. I couldn’t be happier with my job in the Talent Dept. at Kink.com and that still very much remains my priority, but I don’t see why I can’t sprinkle in some “me time”…
If you ask me, I don’t think I really ever left. My scenes haven’t stopped coming out from the first round of shooting, a couple scenes still unreleased to this day. I’ve been working full-time with the Talent Dept. at Kink, webcamming on Naked.com, and keeping my Instagram/Twitter feeds pretty sexy. If I never posted that blog saying I was “gracefully backing out of porn”, ya’ll would’ve hardly noticed!
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