Ladies, if we know he's playing us, why do we still go back?!?

[JofromthaNO]

This thread comes out of my frustration for a home girl who asked for my feedback about a guy she had been "dating" for a while, and how she thought he was playing her. He hadn't been returning her calls very often, and seems to always find excuses to back out of dates and plans they make. I posted about it probably a month ago on BGOL...

Anyway, homegirl kept it up with him, despite my plea to just leave him alone, as he seemed to be just stringing her along. However, I know a woman/man must make their own choices, so I let her "make her bed and lay in it."

But, seriously, I must wonder...why does she keep going back for it? Is the sex really that good? Does she have low self esteem? How come she can't just see him for who he really is, and move onto a man who can provide for her the kind of attention she seems to be really seeking? Ladies (and men, you can jump in), why do women put (and keep) themselves in less-than-desirable situations with men?

 

[femmenoire]

Girl I never went for that. I saw my mother deal with infidelity and I wasn't having it.

Now I've been played in other ways but that's a whole other topic.

IMO, if he found some better pussy, let him have it full time so I can find some better dick.

Two can play that game and I play it rather well.

 

[GET YOU HOT]

There is a whole mess of problems in this situation:

Pointers_*>_*>

1.DATE, go out and see how things go...Learn as much as you can about them, ask alot of questions about their past, present, future, what they like to do, what they want, etc...Explain what YOU want too...!!!
2. Hold out for as long as you can, before you have sex, fantasize about having sex with them, if you can't do it, you probably aren't ready to get busy.
3.Establish a relationship-fuck buddies, dating, seeing each other, boyfriend girlfriend, full blown relationship....
4.Let go and let things happen, if you are comfortable with #4, let things blossom on their own...

 

[Harbinger]

I think it's more emotional than anything else. Sex can be a factor, but I've known women with this problem that claim the sex is wack. And self-esteem tends to be huge, but there is a direct emotional connection.

Some a y'all latch on to a man and just won't let go, and in almost every instance, the reason given is love. Some dudes just push the right buttons, and most females tend to want that man, and are afraid to let him go, if he has any redeeming qualities at all. They think they may not find anything better, or someone better may not want them.

I think a lot of women know if they have issues, and think not every man will accept those issues, and if the one she has already knows her faults/skeletons, then she doesn't want to risk trying to find someone else that will.

 

[tig 'ol bittays]

Sheeet, fuck all that, put him on that quick quit method, don't answer calls or the door!

 

[Taken]

This thread comes out of my frustration for a home girl who asked for my feedback about a guy she had been "dating" for a while, and how she thought he was playing her. He hadn't been returning her calls very often, and seems to always find excuses to back out of dates and plans they make. I posted about it probably a month ago on BGOL...

Anyway, homegirl kept it up with him, despite my plea to just leave him alone, as he seemed to be just stringing her along. However, I know a woman/man must make their own choices, so I let her "make her bed and lay in it."

But, seriously, I must wonder...why does she keep going back for it? Is the sex really that good? Does she have low self esteem? How come she can't just see him for who he really is, and move onto a man who can provide for her the kind of attention she seems to be really seeking? Ladies (and men, you can jump in), why do women put (and keep) themselves in less-than-desirable situations with men?

As a man, I will can admit that i've seen men do it to. They feel they wit this woman who is all there is to have and they content wit it. Sometimes I attribute it to low self esteem and sometimes people do wanna start ova. They feel like they kno someone well and they can work it out. People have even told me that the reason that their partner cheats is because they not givin them enough and so they just lookin somewhere else. I feel like people gonna do what you let them. They say love is blind and when you really in to some1, you look past a lot to keep it goin.

 

[bigirl]

because the sex is really good

 

[xfactor]

(and men, you can jump in), why do women put (and keep) themselves in less-than-desirable situations with men?[/B]

Low self-esteem or self-worth.

 

[ugk]

A lot of women out there want to believe they can be the ones to change that man. Or better yet, hope that he will see something in them to make him change his ways.

It's kind of like Captain Save-A-Ho, only switching the roles of genders.

 

[Jam_Jam]

I believe that women adapt to their situations. She probably has dealt with similar situations in the past. Maybe her first boyfriend did not treat her right. Maybe none of her boyfriends treated her right. You see, once you've been treated well, you can never go back to bullshit and be satisfied. If you find that a woman is constantly in situations that are not good for her it is because she has not come to appreciate who she truly is. When you allow a man to treat you badly for an extended period of time, you somehow begin to believe that this is what you deserve. It's similar to becoming a victim of your environment. What you have to do is some serious soul searching. You have to wade through all of the bullshit relationships and take back your self-worth. Anytime you allow yourself to be verbally abused, physically abused, lied to, cheated on or disrespected in any way by a man who claims to love you there is a part of you missing. And it is your job to get her back. You can sit around all day asking "why me?" and feeling sorry for yourself but you must realize that none of that shit would have happened if "YOU" had not allowed it. We have to take responsibility for how we are treated. When you constantly allow a man to dog you, he will begin to believe that you like being dogged. Save yourself alot of problems. The first time you see your man behaving in a way that is "inappropriate" let him know. If he does the shit again, unfortunately you will have to let him go. You cannot change him, but he can change his behaviors. All you can do is let him know. If he cares about you, he will listen to you and do what is necessary to keep you.

 

[Mo-Better]

because the sex is really good

This here is the truth. Its not always about love. Some women won't admit that they fuck for pleasure but we all do it. Its the power of the orgasm. Yeah I said it! If the man gets the job done he's gonna get that call that's why you both keep your numbers handy.

 

[femmenoire]

^^^Please.

Most times abusive men ain't even fucking their woman, and in some cases they are raping them. So it ain't that.

The dude I was with had a teeny penis and that's why his ass was so insecure.

 

[thoughtone]

because the sex is really good

Damn, you really are honest!

 

[swiftandsilent]

because the sex is really good

Yep, that's it in nut shell. Some people just need to keep that GOOD FUCK BUDDY on speed dial.

 

[Mo-Better]

^^^Please.

Most times abusive men ain't even fucking their woman, and in some cases they are raping them. So it ain't that.

The dude I was with had a teeny penis and that's why his ass was so insecure.

Oh come on Femm, the question was pertaining to being played not abused. Plus its unfair to measure other men against some insecure nimrod you were attracted to that didn't measure up to your standards or expectations.

 

[Imhotep]

Girl I never went for that. I saw my mother deal with infidelity and I wasn't having it.

Now I've been played in other ways but that's a whole other topic.

IMO, if he found some better pussy, let him have it full time so I can find some better dick.

Two can play that game and I play it rather well.

 

[AlexandMorgan]

The things u allow or do at the beginning of a relationship set the tone for the entire relationship.

If your date shows up an hour late with a lame excuse and you grin and say no prob well, it can never be a problem.

If you realise your partner has a roving eye when u go out and u refuse to acknowledge it or address it with them then u should have no problem with it afterwards if it keeps up.

If when u start dating them they are continuing to date others then u can not fuss up when they continue with their normal behaviour.

If you start to accept BULLSHIT IT STARTS TO TASTE SWEET LIKE CANDY AND U WILL BE OVERWHELMED BY THE AMOUNT OF CANDY PEOPLE WILL OFFER U.

But that's just my opinion.

 

[GET YOU HOT]

Yep, that's it in nut shell. Some people just need to keep that GOOD FUCK BUDDY on speed dial.

If you are good at fucking, you should have a few friends, (dial a dick) on your blackbook and a drawer full of multi condoms, magnums, studded, flavored, different sizes and flavors, that is....if you got it like that. Make em' leave, as soon as you are done.

 

[femmenoire]

Oh come on Femm, the question was pertaining to being played not abused. Plus its unfair to measure other men against some insecure nimrod you were attracted to that didn't measure up to your standards or expectations.

And again, why would good sex keep women in a relationship? Often times, that is NOT the case. Which is my point.

I know you men really think so highly of your dick, but it ain't really all that.

 

[Cinamiss]

This thread comes out of my frustration for a home girl who asked for my feedback about a guy she had been "dating" for a while, and how she thought he was playing her. He hadn't been returning her calls very often, and seems to always find excuses to back out of dates and plans they make. I posted about it probably a month ago on BGOL...

Anyway, homegirl kept it up with him, despite my plea to just leave him alone, as he seemed to be just stringing her along. However, I know a woman/man must make their own choices, so I let her "make her bed and lay in it."

But, seriously, I must wonder...why does she keep going back for it? Is the sex really that good? Does she have low self esteem? How come she can't just see him for who he really is, and move onto a man who can provide for her the kind of attention she seems to be really seeking? Ladies (and men, you can jump in), why do women put (and keep) themselves in less-than-desirable situations with men?

i KNOW IT SOUNDS FUCKED UP BUT SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE BAD TO APPRECIATE THE GOOD.

 

[djsurf]

Isn't it funny, how many women resort to talking about a man's size, once they've become a woman scorned?! I've heard that same bull from far too many jilted women. It's funny how the sex was "all that and so satisfying", before they found out they had been played.
A former lady friend of mine said that same old weak stuff, only AFTER she walked in on her fiance in bed, butt naked with another woman....only then claiming that "he was so small that "I called his mother and asked her if it was a deformity from birth". Now, before then he was "knocking the box out" (her words). I lost a lot of respect for that woman after she came out of her mouth like that.....nuff said.

 

[KW13537]

Many women think that a little light bulb will turn on in their heads and they'll realize what a good thing they have.

 

[thoughtone]

Many women think that a little light bulb will turn on in their heads and they'll realize what a good thing they have.

…but by then its too late. After a guy gets labeled, “the nice guy” he quickly learns that in order to be successful in dating, you have to be the “bad boy”. That’s when they start complaining about men, but they keep on cumming back.

 

[KW13537]

…but by then its too late. After a guy gets labeled, “the nice guy” he quickly learns that in order to be successful in dating, you have to be the “bad boy”. That’s when they start complaining about men, but they keep on cumming back.

True...... been there, done that. Some women need you to show your ass before they act right.

 

[blackmouth]

uh, people that are NOT married shouldn't act married.

there is NO CHEATING if they are only "dating."

dating implies that two folks are free to do as they please.

dating "exclusively" only means you get the right of first refusal.

 

[bigirl]

uh, people that are NOT married shouldn't act married.

there is NO CHEATING if they are only "dating."

dating implies that two folks are free to do as they please.

dating "exclusively" only means you get the right of first refusal.

yeah ok max

 

[MTL]

because the sex is really good

TRUE!!! Good dick make fools of us.

 

[femmenoire]

Isn't it funny, how many women resort to talking about a man's size, once they've become a woman scorned?! I've heard that same bull from far too many jilted women. It's funny how the sex was "all that and so satisfying", before they found out they had been played.
A former lady friend of mine said that same old weak stuff, only AFTER she walked in on her fiance in bed, butt naked with another woman....only then claiming that "he was so small that "I called his mother and asked her if it was a deformity from birth". Now, before then he was "knocking the box out" (her words). I lost a lot of respect for that woman after she came out of her mouth like that.....nuff said.

That's because women are generally faking it.

 

[BrownTurd]

uh, people that are NOT married shouldn't act married.

there is NO CHEATING if they are only "dating."

dating implies that two folks are free to do as they please.

dating "exclusively" only means you get the right of first refusal.

This is so true that is is funny. I have been saying this all the time. Dating is not marriage. Dating is only for seeing if you can have a long term relationship.

 

[GET YOU HOT]

yeah ok max