Ladies, I Propose A Question....

[OnSlaught]

I'm sitting here studying and I decided to go ahead and write what's been on my mind tonight. I was wondering, from a woman's perspective, what's more important:

a. A man that has the material assets that would make life easier

b. A man that is willing to nurture you and the relationship

I know that there have been previous threads that have touched lightly upon this subject but I'm asking what comes to mind first, the bread or the head (not that type of head ladies! ...the kind that the brotha is caring with)?

The only reason I ask is because I notice that a lot of young brothas fall into either one category or the other, rarely both. At a later point in life it starts to level out with a man having matured in both aspects, in which I suppose why women go after older men. However, it makes me wonder why there are a large majority of women out there that cry for a good man, because when I talk to some of my male friends and aquaintances of whom I know are good men, they tell me that they are passed up for a brotha who had more material assets than they do. I'm not even speaking about brothas that have remedial jobs, but those that are aspiring to be professionals, are in college or just graduated. Seems more and more like there are more gold diggers out there than before.

Give me your thoughts on this...

 

[OnSlaught]

Damn, why no one responding?

Ninjas lookin' at the thread like they're here:

 

[melonpecan]

The head.

How can we make being broke without good conversation? Money can't buy you everything. It'll make life easier but it won't make you happy.

Be without possessions and grow strong on the foundation you build together.

 

[DigitalAngel2007]

I'm sitting here studying and I decided to go ahead and write what's been on my mind tonight. I was wondering, from a woman's perspective, what's more important:

a. A man that has the material assets that would make life easier

b. A man that is willing to nurture you and the relationship

I know that there have been previous threads that have touched lightly upon this subject but I'm asking what comes to mind first, the bread or the head (not that type of head ladies! ...the kind that the brotha is caring with)?

The only reason I ask is because I notice that a lot of young brothas fall into either one category or the other, rarely both. At a later point in life it starts to level out with a man having matured in both aspects, in which I suppose why women go after older men. However, it makes me wonder why there are a large majority of women out there that cry for a good man, because when I talk to some of my male friends and aquaintances of whom I know are good men, they tell me that they are passed up for a brotha who had more material assets than they do. I'm not even speaking about brothas that have remedial jobs, but those that are aspiring to be professionals, are in college or just graduated. Seems more and more like there are more gold diggers out there than before.

Give me your thoughts on this...

I couldn't have said it better.

 

[HoneyDip]

B is way better to me.... I rather a dude nurture me or our relationship than just spend money on me all the time. I mean both would be nice but like u said its rare to find. I rather have emotions though than money

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

I'm sitting here studying and I decided to go ahead and write what's been on my mind tonight. I was wondering, from a woman's perspective, what's more important:

a. A man that has the material assets that would make life easier

b. A man that is willing to nurture you and the relationship

I know that there have been previous threads that have touched lightly upon this subject but I'm asking what comes to mind first, the bread or the head (not that type of head ladies! ...the kind that the brotha is caring with)?

The only reason I ask is because I notice that a lot of young brothas fall into either one category or the other, rarely both. At a later point in life it starts to level out with a man having matured in both aspects, in which I suppose why women go after older men. However, it makes me wonder why there are a large majority of women out there that cry for a good man, because when I talk to some of my male friends and aquaintances of whom I know are good men, they tell me that they are passed up for a brotha who had more material assets than they do. I'm not even speaking about brothas that have remedial jobs, but those that are aspiring to be professionals, are in college or just graduated. Seems more and more like there are more gold diggers out there than before.

Give me your thoughts on this...

A man that is willing to nurture you and the relationship is what matters to me most. I don't need the financial help,and you can bring all the money you want but if I am unhappy it will not work. I am an emotional and affectionate person and I need to have someone around me who is nurturing and down for me.

 

[Mo-Better]

B is way better to me.... I rather a dude nurture me or our relationship than just spend money on me all the time. I mean both would be nice but like u said its rare to find. I rather have emotions though than money

A man that is willing to nurture you and the relationship is what matters to me most. I don't need the financial help,and you can bring all the money you want but if I am unhappy it will not work. I am an emotional and affectionate person and I need to have someone around me who is nurturing and down for me.

I must say I'm impressed. I knew there still existed some ladies that didn't just focus on the materialistic things in life.

Bravo ladies Bravo!

 

[ladyscorpio]

I must say I'm impressed. I knew there still existed some ladies that didn't just focus on the materialistic things in life.

Bravo ladies Bravo!

MB there are lots of us. However the focus is usually on the ones that do enjoy the finer things in life, the superficial ones. Why because this is perhaps the new expectation. I have a friend who is constantly surprised at my lack of wanting anything other than mindful stimulation. Things are just that. Things.
Like my sister said you can have all the $$ in the world but if this has NOT brought you any happiness then really what is the value.











Peace n Love

 

[HoneyDip]

I must say I'm impressed. I knew there still existed some ladies that didn't just focus on the materialistic things in life.

Bravo ladies Bravo!

There truly are more women out there like that... I know alot to be honest wit u. Most of my friends rather have a man who wants to spend time with them. Ladies like to cuddle!!!!

 

[APOPHIS]

I personally think most women lie to themselves when they say they would rather want a caring and nurturing man rather than someone who can provide and secure them financially.

Money itself in today's society has become a means of security and protection.
Being in love w/ a man who is struggling to keep a roof over your heads only puts strain on a relationship.

 

[bigirl]

I personally think most women lie to themselves when they say they would rather want a caring and nurturing man rather than someone who can provide and secure them financially.

Money itself in today's society has become a means of security and protection.
Being in love w/ a man who is struggling to keep a roof over your heads only puts strain on a relationship.

Heres the thing tho: I can make $ for myself. I cannot cuddle myself or hug myself or give myself emotional support.

Nobody wants anyone of any gender who is not pulling their own weight but they don't have to be rich or anything. For me as long as they have enough that I don't have to be carrying them its cool.

 

[NOHOTTIE_1996]

I personally think most women lie to themselves when they say they would rather want a caring and nurturing man rather than someone who can provide and secure them financially.

Money itself in today's society has become a means of security and protection.
Being in love w/ a man who is struggling to keep a roof over your heads only puts strain on a relationship.

THAT IS TRUE HOWEVER IF A WOMAN KNOWS SHE HAS A GOOD MAN AINT NOTHIN LIKE HELPING TO PROVIDE SECURITY. WHEN IT GETS GREATER LATER THAT MAN WILL BE PRONE TO MAKE SURE THAT HIS WOMAN IS TAKEN CARE OF.
BUT MEN DON'T WANT WOMEN WHO ARE REAL THEY DO WANT THE SUPERFICIAL WOMEN WHO ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM. THE ONES WHO ARE NATURAL, OR THE ONES WHO DONT SPEND THEIR LAST BIT OF MONEY TO LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE PLENTY, OR THE ONES WHO WHILE OUT U CAN SEE THEIR BRAINS FROM THE BOTTOM OF THEIR SKIRT. THE GUYS SHOULD BE REAL ABOUT WHO THEY WANT AS WELL.

 

[Izayoi]

I personally think most women lie to themselves when they say they would rather want a caring and nurturing man rather than someone who can provide and secure them financially.

Money itself in today's society has become a means of security and protection.
Being in love w/ a man who is struggling to keep a roof over your heads only puts strain on a relationship.

Apophis I can agree to an extent but it's about maturity level and being honest about what's important to you. A woman with her own resources is more looking for a partner to share her life and self with. If a woman wants to be a stay at home mom (and not knocking that) and not work then yeah she's going to need a man that is going to provide and can't act like that doesn't matter.

It doesn't have to be either/or. Just depends on where the man and woman are both coming from.

 

[Mo-Better]

MB there are lots of us. However the focus is usually on the ones that do enjoy the finer things in life, the superficial ones. Why because this is perhaps the new expectation. I have a friend who is constantly surprised at my lack of wanting anything other than mindful stimulation. Things are just that. Things.
Like my sister said you can have all the $$ in the world but if this has NOT brought you any happiness then really what is the value.

Peace n Love

There truly are more women out there like that... I know alot to be honest wit u. Most of my friends rather have a man who wants to spend time with them. Ladies like to cuddle!!!!

Ladies I know there are some of you left but there seems to be fewer and fewer of you. To those of you who love intimacy and place the material things second I take my hat off to you.

 

[Robeson]

Most of the women in my social circle (social and not fucking circle) are professional and perhaps not rich but in possession of both real and liquid assets. While they don't need you to pay their bills, if you want to tag along with them to Europe or China, you had better be able to pay your own way cuz they sure as hell ain't.

On the other hand, my midnight crew needs some bills paid, simple as that. They are not ugly about it, nor even unpleasant, but rent and lights gotta be paid. They work, but you gotta make a good bit of dough to get a head of the game these days. I have no problem with a sexual relationship having a financial angle to it (and I don't even go to strip clubs). This is not never never land, and I most certainly ain't Prince fucking Charming.

But I hear the ladies, though, and think they speak truth. In the final analysis, all the loot in the world doesn't replace someone truly caring about you. Until that comes along, if a chick needs a few bills paid, and the cat is kind of flush, why the fuck not? Young cats want to stand on principle "I WILL NOT PAY FOR PUSSY" I got no beef with them. The money thing just isn't that important to me either way. If you want a $100 (or $200 or $300) pair of shoes and I want some pussy, what the fuck???

 

[bigirl]

While they don't need you to pay their bills, if you want to tag along with them to Europe or China, you had better be able to pay your own way cuz they sure as hell ain't.

See now this is more what I am talking about. I get real tired of if I want a guy to come home or elsewhere with me and vice versa he can't afford to pay or go. I have paid for them several times and am beyond done with it. It would be nice to deal with someone who could. However, this comes behind them being sweet and all that. If they're not I would never go anywhere with them to begin with. I am just tired of doing everything by myself all the time.

 

[PainInDAss]

I personally think most women lie to themselves when they say they would rather want a caring and nurturing man rather than someone who can provide and secure them financially.

Money itself in today's society has become a means of security and protection.
Being in love w/ a man who is struggling to keep a roof over your heads only puts strain on a relationship.

well, with all due respect(not to you) a nurturing man would be mature enough to handle his finances. a man who can't handle his finances will always have a "hustle" going on and will not have time to nurture a relationship. He'll just want to fuck. A disciplined man will nurture his woman to the point that she doens't have to worry about finances because he's taken care of it even before it comes to mind.

there are some immature mothafuckas in here who are just curious as to how to get some ass, so they pretend to be sincere. it's really funny. If you're a mature dude, you should be disiplined enough to handle your finances. You can nurture a woman because you're not worrrying about keeping a roof over your head. An intelligent woman will know this by getting to know you first.

My Two cents

 

[nick177th]

THAT IS TRUE HOWEVER IF A WOMAN KNOWS SHE HAS A GOOD MAN AINT NOTHIN LIKE HELPING TO PROVIDE SECURITY. WHEN IT GETS GREATER LATER THAT MAN WILL BE PRONE TO MAKE SURE THAT HIS WOMAN IS TAKEN CARE OF.
BUT MEN DON'T WANT WOMEN WHO ARE REAL THEY DO WANT THE SUPERFICIAL WOMEN WHO ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM. THE ONES WHO ARE NATURAL, OR THE ONES WHO DONT SPEND THEIR LAST BIT OF MONEY TO LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE PLENTY, OR THE ONES WHO WHILE OUT U CAN SEE THEIR BRAINS FROM THE BOTTOM OF THEIR SKIRT. THE GUYS SHOULD BE REAL ABOUT WHO THEY WANT AS WELL.

that is sooooo not true. We all want what we peceive to be the "ideal" mate. I want a women who is real. A woman who would (if the day ever came) give me her last if I needed it.. As i would do for her. I'm not Financially "set". But, by no means am I hurting for anything. I'll tell you what I don't want. i don't want a woman with eight baby daddy's with a whole bunch of drama, expecting me to come to the rescue and take care of her. That AIN'T gonna happen. Ideally, we could take care of each other. And no, i don't mean financially. I have my own money, house, cars and whatever. I mean, if my baby ain't feelin' good, I'll feed her, rub her head and hold her 'till she falls asleep. THAT kind of "take care". Don't lump all men in one basket. I hate that. I don't lump all women in one basket. Each of you are unique in your own way.

 

[PainInDAss]

See now this is more what I am talking about. I get real tired of if I want a guy to come home or elsewhere with me and vice versa he can't afford to pay or go. I have paid for them several times and am beyond done with it. It would be nice to deal with someone who could. However, this comes behind them being sweet and all that. If they're not I would never go anywhere with them to begin with. I am just tired of doing everything by myself all the time.

Damn, baby girl, you got played like that. I always pay my way, and even buy her stuff if I'm vacationing with her. it's only right that I do so, I'm trying to make her my main girl so why not. I have no problem with that. now if they're ugly(yeah, there are some) I'll play broke to see how far I get, so you have to analyze those men in your life. a man that really wants you will go out of his way to make you feel pampered, whatever. all that "simping" shit that these niggas are claiming is simply becuase they are the simps online claiming only simps pay for dinner or even for the movies without getting any!!!

It's really hillarious, becuase I've done that and I don't care if I dont' get none. I'll find out who you are by getting to know you though, and if I find out you're on some scheme(women slip too, they just know how to cover it up quick) then I won't bother with you, plain and simple. it's not hard. All you have to do is listen to the woman. You can usually tell if you ask enough questions

 

[bigirl]

now if they're ugly(yeah, there are some) I'll play broke to see how far I get,

 

[PainInDAss]

My bad, that was what I used to do when I was younger. I'd rather not play with your head anymore, but I'll see bullshit clearly and leave you alone, that's all. if you keep sweating me, I'll have no choice though.

I'm speaking like some of these niggas that do pull this shit with ugly women, that's all. They'll front and say they dont' do that, but it's bullshit. Even women pull that shit on ugly niggas so WTF

 

[nick177th]

well, with all due respect(not to you) a nurturing man would be mature enough to handle his finances. a man who can't handle his finances will always have a "hustle" going on and will not have time to nurture a relationship. He'll just want to fuck. A disciplined man will nurture his woman to the point that she doens't have to worry about finances because he's taken care of it even before it comes to mind.

there are some immature mothafuckas in here who are just curious as to how to get some ass, so they pretend to be sincere. it's really funny. If you're a mature dude, you should be disiplined enough to handle your finances. You can nurture a woman because you're not worrrying about keeping a roof over your head. An intelligent woman will know this by getting to know you first.

My Two cents

thinking like that is exactly why some women miss there man. when a brother comes correct, they (some women) think a brother tryin' to run game. Brothers can't win for losin'. A classic example (although unrelated) is when a brother asks a sister did she cum. I have actually read in magazines where women think that is self serving. Why can't a brother be asking because he wants to make sure you are enjpying yourself?
The thing that really cracks me up, is when a woman knows a guy is running game and still hooks up with him. Then, when the next brother comes along sincere as hell, they question that. Most mature men and women on this board know that gettin' sex is not all that hard. Actually, it's not hard at all. You don't have to run game to get it. Bottom line up front, most of the time a brother comes at you correct, he's sincere. You should be able to spot a playa a mile away. 'cause a true playa ain't tryin' to hide it.

 

[kurrupt]

 

[nick177th]

Damn, baby girl, you got played like that. I always pay my way, and even buy her stuff if I'm vacationing with her. it's only right that I do so, I'm trying to make her my main girl so why not. I have no problem with that. now if they're ugly(yeah, there are some) I'll play broke to see how far I get, so you have to analyze those men in your life. a man that really wants you will go out of his way to make you feel pampered, whatever. all that "simping" shit that these niggas are claiming is simply becuase they are the simps online claiming only simps pay for dinner or even for the movies without getting any!!!

It's really hillarious, becuase I've done that and I don't care if I dont' get none. I'll find out who you are by getting to know you though, and if I find out you're on some scheme(women slip too, they just know how to cover it up quick) then I won't bother with you, plain and simple. it's not hard. All you have to do is listen to the woman. You can usually tell if you ask enough questions

I saw this woman's page on my space and her little quote was " if money ain't a thing let a bitch know i'm the type to empty your account how far are you willing to go?" Is there any wonder her staus is "single"?

 

[Harlem's Angel]

I personally think most women lie to themselves when they say they would rather want a caring and nurturing man rather than someone who can provide and secure them financially.

Money itself in today's society has become a means of security and protection.
Being in love w/ a man who is struggling to keep a roof over your heads only puts strain on a relationship.

I have to agree. I'm sitting here reading all of these posts by these women saying they want someone who nurtures over someone with money. I want both. I have both. I know for a fact that when we are financially strapped the relationship gets strained because we have to argue over finances. You can bring in all the money you want but if you have to support you and your man that money aint goin but so far and yall asses gonna be sittin on the couch every weekend doing nothing. And no one can that doesn't cause a few issues.