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Ladies, I have a serious question . . .

DMXtreem

DMXtreem

Rising Star
Platinum Member
Do you think we men (black men especially) hate or are purposefully , deliberately, and hatefully dismissive of you?

I am going to presume that most of you don't have an aversion to the main topic that drives this message board, pornography. I am going to further presume that most of you understand our fascination with you even if it can be bizarre at times.

My concern is the rising level of, IMHO, sex acts that seem to have the sole purpose of, and sigular intent, of degrading the female participant. Additionally, the feelings of some of the critics, none specifically, that IMHO, seem to castigate her performance if its not good / hot. If the women puts out an exceptionally good performance then she is degraded to the point of being a vile something or other for doing the various acts!!

I really do want to hear from you on this ladies!
 
Babe this is one of those questions that I cant answer generally. I mean-No I dont think black men purposly hate or are dismissive of us. But I do think there are some that are ignorant, some that love that almighty dollar and some that truley hate us because they hate themselves.
But then again...There are those that truely love us and wouldnt let any one harm us. I see examples of both on this very board.
 
OnyxFemme said:
Babe this is one of those questions that I cant answer generally. I mean-No I dont think black men purposly hate or are dismissive of us. But I do think there are some that are ignorant, some that love that almighty dollar and some that truley hate us because they hate themselves.
But then again...There are those that truely love us and wouldnt let any one harm us. I see examples of both on this very board.
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CO-SIGN... Well put too...
 
Thanks for the reply Femme, maybe it's just me. I tend to forget that this board is open to the world and what may seem like a bunch of continuosly negative comments, attitudes, and remarks towards my women probably are small in comparison to the other positive feelings.
 
I DON'T THINK SO. I THINK WOMEN WHO ARE IN THE SEX INDUSTRY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. IT IS DEGRADING. JUST LIKE THAT LITTLE GIRL AND BOY IN THAT CLIP DANCING SO PROVOCATIVELY IS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT WE LEARN AS CHILDREN. IF THAT WAS MY LITTLE GIRL OR NIECE I WOULD'VE SNATCHED HER UP SO FAST AND SAID COME HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH JUST TO HURT HER FEELINGS AND LET HER KNOW THAT SHIT IS NOT COOL. INSTEAD ADULTS ARE CHEERING HER ON A LITTLE GIRL PUSHED HER AND SAID GO 'HEAD:smh:

THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES FOR EVERY ACTION SOME WE LIKE AND SOME WE DON'T. THERE ARE WOMEN WHO ARE FURIOUS WITH THEIR MEN B/C THEY WATCH PORN. THEN THERE ARE WOMEN LIKE MYSELF WHO ARE MORE LIBERAL AND DON'T MIND. RESPECT FOR A WOMAN IS DIVIDED INTO TWO. THOSE WHO HAVE IT AND THOSE WHO DONT.
 
Having had the pleasure of chatting with a couple of the women on this board I can tell you there's some very strong and loving women on this board. Some deserving far better than they've received, yet they keep pushing. You don't dismiss women like this you applaud them.

Speaking for myself I applaud the black woman. Be it a mom, aunt, sister or cousin. Regardless or her profession most black women deserve more respect than they get. I see some of the knuckleheads they sometimes mistakenly end up with. Yet they try to hang in there, especially where children are involved.

For me I can't hate or are purposefully hate or be dismissive of the black woman. I don't know how any real black man can. It's a thought that would never cross my mind.

This is not to say your question is isn't valid, because there are many men who are incapable of loving anyone mainly because they have no love for themselves.
 
Having had the *gulp*pleasure of chatting with a majority of the women on this board I can tell you there's some very *radio edit* women on this board. And they pretty much get back what they put out.
 
DMXtreem said:
Do you think we men (black men especially) hate or are purposefully , deliberately, and hatefully dismissive of you?

I am going to presume that most of you don't have an aversion to the main topic that drives this message board, pornography. I am going to further presume that most of you understand our fascination with you even if it can be bizarre at times.

My concern is the rising level of, IMHO, sex acts that seem to have the sole purpose of, and sigular intent, of degrading the female participant. Additionally, the feelings of some of the critics, none specifically, that IMHO, seem to castigate her performance if its not good / hot. If the women puts out an exceptionally good performance then she is degraded to the point of being a vile something or other for doing the various acts!!

I really do want to hear from you on this ladies!
Click to expand...

I think some black men have been so scorned and "mistreated" by black women, for various reasons, they seemed to have taken it as their personal duty to degrade, annoy and treat women hatefully. And, for some men, it's not necessarily hateful treatment, but it's just total disregard for respect that a man may show towards the female population. Others may just blatantly think of women good for futile purposes, and may view women as just "whores," or other trivial images because of how they have been previously been scorned by a black woman or by their mothers. It's a shame that the media, including porn, will give much more notice to those that continue to deface the image of black women. Then again, this is porn we are talking about. The women are already degrading themselves to a certain level, having sex on camera for monetary compensation...
 
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i kid of course. :lol:
 
i think scorned black men are dismissive to black women...i see it alot on here when they complain about the attitudes and perms...but its just a defense mechanism they have created to hide the fact that they have been hurt

i also think some black women feel "damned if you do...damned if you don't"...men will complain that we dont put out when they want us to...but then call us whores when we do

so whats a woman to do :dunno:

i think the way black women have been conditioned to view their sexuality affects how we view sex...which translates to how we act and sometimes how we are treated

men have systematically desexualized women throughout history

but in my opinion black women have had the worst time dealing with this

until us black women start to take control over our own sexuality and become comfortable with who we are sexually we are forced to take what we get:smh:
 
my attitude on this board is a caricature of my true self for the most part. i practice my comedy stuff on here. the only time i take message boards serious is when it's time to talk about the government or some history. i love women, especially black ones, but they are really disappointing me in real life. the few nice women on this board cannot change what niggas see in real life everyday.
 
destrehan said:
my attitude on this board is a caricature of my true self for the most part. i practice my comedy stuff on here. the only time i take message boards serious is when it's time to talk about the government or some history. i love women, especially black ones, but they are really disappointing me in real life. the few nice women on this board cannot change what niggas see in real life everyday.
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I agree. For every two or three cool sisters one might meet on the net, in a store, at an event, etc., there seem to be 15-20 women who are immature, superficial, shallow, and dishonest.
 
To be truthfully honest I'm at a place where I really don't care. I've had men do some shitty shit to me as well as treat me like the queen I know I am. So at this point in my life I'm just comfortable having the respect of the men in my life who I love. I don't have that save the world mentality that I use to have. I'm tired of trying to understand the underlying hatered black men have for us - it gets so fustrating! Esp. when the root of the problem is their own self hatred.

I have my moments where I'll lapse into a debate about why they don't respect, love and treat us as they should. But then I log the fuck off!! and when I read or see enough to make me sick to my stomach I know that there are black men in my life who love, respect and care about me...

And that makes it a little better to deal with....
 
I have never personally encountered a situation with a man who was purposely dismissive/hateful, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist, so to generalize that this is common isn't something I'd do. I think that some men, like women, are on that "Bitches/Niggas Ain't Shit" or that "Ain't no good _____ left" and clouds their judgment when dealing with the opposite sex, and you can't healthy or functional relationships if you go in with that mentality. So I guess in those situations with attitudes like that, yes, they are dismissive....
 
DMXtreem said:
Do you think we men (black men especially) hate or are purposefully , deliberately, and hatefully dismissive of you?

I am going to presume that most of you don't have an aversion to the main topic that drives this message board, pornography. I am going to further presume that most of you understand our fascination with you even if it can be bizarre at times.

My concern is the rising level of, IMHO, sex acts that seem to have the sole purpose of, and sigular intent, of degrading the female participant. Additionally, the feelings of some of the critics, none specifically, that IMHO, seem to castigate her performance if its not good / hot. If the women puts out an exceptionally good performance then she is degraded to the point of being a vile something or other for doing the various acts!!

I really do want to hear from you on this ladies!
Click to expand...
You are asking about 2 separate issues. One is if black men treat us in a derogatory way. The other is about sex becoming more derogatory. I think what people do in the bedroom is individual, so I'll ignore the 2nd question.

As far as black men behaving in a hateful or dismissive behavior toward black women, I find that is an individual thing for the most part. But it is majorly influenced by the upbringing a man had, how he saw his father relate to women, how much real experience he has had with black women who are not related to him, and how much common sense a man has.
 

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