Ladies, how important is it for you to have your man show you off

[Top_Bunk]

Getting over my current girlfriend/jumpoff. Wasn't quite my girlfriend but i got some feeling eventually. Weren't too strong but feelings like a; trust & i could rely on and she could expect the same thing for me.

She just had been acting funny lately and i called her out on it and got to the bottom of it and she was seeing another guy. Which i have allways been kinda ok with just because i know what kind of an impression i have on her. But this new guy had enough of an impression to make her not call me for a week. And she didn't bitch and complain when i didn't call her for 7+ days either.

She said she wish i'd take her out more like the new guy. She meet his family, friends, and he takes her out in public. Now she only meet this guy a month ago and she known me for 2 years & only meet my friends when i called them to give me a jump after my car died, and when i ran into one at a gas station. And a few co-workers here and there.

Shit i barely can get my friends to meet up with each other, family thing aint happening, and taking her out wouldn't be so much of a problem, probably should have did that.

Shit i only got 3 real male friends in detroit that i actually really meet up with. And one that only comes up here once a month.

Ladies is it that important? I thought she would know her pos. as a female that's not my girl but.......

 

[DeSiRe]

and taking her out wouldn't be so much of a problem, probably should have did that.

bingo!

women dont wanna sit up in the house all day

all that meeting the family stuff is extra....but when your idea of spending together consists of laying up together all day at your house shes gonna get restless and may even start asking questions...

 

[onyxfemme]

depends on the woman-to me, it is very important. If I love him and he loves me why cant the world know?

 

[Top_Bunk]

depends on the woman-to me, it is very important. If I love him and he loves me why cant the world know?

That's the thing I don't love her like that. Although she has said she does...I would at least think she wouldn't expect this.

 

[Top_Bunk]

bingo!

women dont wanna sit up in the house all day

all that meeting the family stuff is extra....but when your idea of spending together consists of laying up together all day at your house shes gonna get restless and may even start asking questions...

Oh shit she hasn't even been to my house...

 

[onyxfemme]

Ok why are we having this conversation? Thats what I get for not reading all of it, this isnt a chick you are with??

 

[melonpecan]

bingo!

women dont wanna sit up in the house all day

all that meeting the family stuff is extra....but when your idea of spending together consists of laying up together all day at your house shes gonna get restless and may even start asking questions...

I did this but it was a mutual thing. When we wanted to go out, we went out. Sounds like the plans were a little one sided there...

Oh shit she hasn't even been to my house...

See, you asking the right questions about females about the wrong female.

Live and learn.

 

[Mo-Better]

That's the thing I don't love her like that. Although she has said she does...I would at least think she wouldn't expect this.

Interesting that you don't love her like that. This other guy obviously thinks more of her than you do an she's picked up on that. Plus you yourself called her a jumpoff. Jumpoff's don't get taken anyplace. Not many women want to be treated as a jumpoff.

Think about it can you blame her?

 

[onyxfemme]

Very true! Very very true!

Interesting that you don't love her like that. This other guy obviously thinks more of her than you do an she's picked up on that. Plus you yourself called her a jumpoff. Jumpoff's don't get taken anyplace. Not many women want to be treated as a jumpoff.

Think about it can you blame her?

 

[Top_Bunk]

Interesting that you don't love her like that. This other guy obviously thinks more of her than you do an she's picked up on that. Plus you yourself called her a jumpoff. Jumpoff's don't get taken anyplace. Not many women want to be treated as a jumpoff.

Think about it can you blame her?

Yeah she kinda was a jumpoff. The thing is she would be my girl if she didn't have 5 kids. So that's why she was. She liked to pretend we were a couple though. And hated when I reminded her that this won't last. So in comes new guy and he obviously doing things I'm not doing and she ok wit the things he's not doing that only I can do.

 

[lukas james]

i think you left out part of this story....

 

[SoopamanLuva]

If she got 5 chilluns, why the hell are you even concerned if none of them are yours?? Just move on. Don't give her number 6

 

[Mo-Better]

Yeah she kinda was a jumpoff. The thing is she would be my girl if she didn't have 5 kids. So that's why she was. She liked to pretend we were a couple though. And hated when I reminded her that this won't last. So in comes new guy and he obviously doing things I'm not doing and she ok wit the things he's not doing that only I can do.

The hi-lighted sentences are the root to your problem. Trust me on this, she didn't like pretending you two were a couple. She only went along with that in hope you would commit to her. By reminding her that it wouldn't last you shot yourself it the foot. You were up front with her and that made it easier for her to choose the other guy.

I dated a woman with 3 kids some years ago. (Probably would never do it again) Their agenda is always different from ours, kids do that to a woman.

The sex thing usually works for awhile. But with most women with children they are looking for a man to fulfill the male image missing from their children's lives, aka marriage. Unless the woman is just a straight up ho her kids are always a factor with the men she sees. Some will defy all logic to fulfill that need.

 

[DeSiRe]

Oh shit she hasn't even been to my house...

what

she hasnt been to where u stay?!

im surprised she stayed around as long as she did

sounds like any guy who woulda took her somewhat seriously would have been a major upgrade

Interesting that you don't love her like that. This other guy obviously thinks more of her than you do an she's picked up on that. Plus you yourself called her a jumpoff. Jumpoff's don't get taken anyplace. Not many women want to be treated as a jumpoff.

Think about it can you blame her?

exactly!

 

[swiftandsilent]

Yeah she kinda was a jumpoff.

The thing is she would be my girl if she didn't have 5 kids.

So that's why she was. She liked to pretend we were a couple though. And hated when I reminded her that this won't last. So in comes new guy and he obviously doing things I'm not doing and she ok wit the things he's not doing that only I can do.

 

[Mo-Better]

There are men who will not only date but will marry a woman with a ready made family. There also exist men who have a love for children. That obviously is not your thing judging from your use of emotioncons.

Its commendable when men even enter into relationships with women with children. With so many men running away from their responsibilities and turning a cold shoulder towards women with children, IMO those are the real men. The ones that make positive changes within the black community. The ones who will do community services and volunteer their free time for the sake of giving.

The true measure of a man cannot be accurately measured by his wealth or his possessions. Its measured by the lives he touches and has a positive influence upon.

 

[dHustla]

There are men who will not only date but will marry a woman with a ready made family. There also exist men who have a love for children. That obviously is not your thing judging from your use of emotioncons.

Its commendable when men even enter into relationships with women with children. With so many men running away from their responsibilities and turning a cold shoulder towards women with children, IMO those are the real men. The ones that make positive changes within the black community. The ones who will do community services and volunteer their free time for the sake of giving.

The true measure of a man cannot be accurately measured by his wealth or his possessions. Its measured by the lives he touches and has a positive influence upon.

C'mon man.

I understand your point.... but

another way to look at it is that... said man is allowing said woman to get away with not being accountable for making bad decisions. We are the sum of our decisions, right. She did what she did to get in the circumstance she's in, right? Who's fault is that?
Yeah, it takes two to make a child, but she can only control herself and she can only make her decisions.

I'm not baby-mama bashing, I'm just saying... who we choose to be with is a reflection of ourselves. That goes for the baby-daddy, the baby-mama, and the man that chooses to make the baby-mama his lady.

 

[PrettyToney]

There are men who will not only date but will marry a woman with a ready made family. There also exist men who have a love for children. That obviously is not your thing judging from your use of emotioncons.

Its commendable when men even enter into relationships with women with children. With so many men running away from their responsibilities and turning a cold shoulder towards women with children, IMO those are the real men. The ones that make positive changes within the black community. The ones who will do community services and volunteer their free time for the sake of giving.

The true measure of a man cannot be accurately measured by his wealth or his possessions. Its measured by the lives he touches and has a positive influence upon.

What man wants to raise 5 kids that are not his own? What man would seriously be with a woman who was irresponsible enough to have 5 kids with men that did not stick around? 5 fuckin kids?!?!? Really?!?!

Yes, I love kids...but I want to raise my own family with my own kids. I don't feel obligated to pick up the slack for anybody else's rugrats.

 

[Mo-Better]

C'mon man.

I understand your point.... but

another way to look at it is that... said man is allowing said woman to get away with not being accountable for making bad decisions. We are the sum of our decisions, right. She did what she did to get in the circumstance she's in, right? Who's fault is that?
Yeah, it takes two to make a child, but she can only control herself and she can only make her decisions.

I'm not baby-mama bashing, I'm just saying... who we choose to be with is a reflection of ourselves. That goes for the baby-daddy, the baby-mama, and the man that chooses to make the baby-mama his lady.

I've been where the OP has been I'm speaking from my own personal experiences.

My point is its every man's decision. How one feels personally about matters of life is that man's feeling alone. (My thing is if your not or can't objective about certain issues, you should not comment.)

My comments were due to the hi-lighting and red print of the OP's comment, "The thing is she would be my girl if she didn't have 5 kids." That is that man's opinion and who are we to judge. The OP obviously thinks this woman is someone very special, why else would he seem upset?

An as you said "the said man, allowing said woman to get away with not being accountable for making bad decisions." We don't know the circumstances of her having the 5 kids, it wasn't disclosed. She may have been married, lost her husband to illness. We don't know!

I don't think anyone has the right to judge others without having all the facts.

 

[Mo-Better]

What man wants to raise 5 kids that are not his own? What man would seriously be with a woman who was irresponsible enough to have 5 kids with men that did not stick around? 5 fuckin kids?!?!? Really?!?!

Yes, I love kids...but I want to raise my own family with my own kids. I don't feel obligated to pick up the slack for anybody else's rugrats.

That is your own opinion but what if you were a kid who benefited from a man that made that type sacrifice with your mother?

 

[InFullStride]

There are men who will not only date but will marry a woman with a ready made family. There also exist men who have a love for children. That obviously is not your thing judging from your use of emotioncons.

Its commendable when men even enter into relationships with women with children. With so many men running away from their responsibilities and turning a cold shoulder towards women with children, IMO those are the real men. The ones that make positive changes within the black community. The ones who will do community services and volunteer their free time for the sake of giving.

The true measure of a man cannot be accurately measured by his wealth or his possessions. Its measured by the lives he touches and has a positive influence upon.

I cringed upon reading this silliness.

The reference to real men is such a disruptive reference.

Why is any man less than a man if he chooses not to assume another man's role and responsibility?

I have no problem with you commending the type of man that will assume another man's role and responsibility. But why slight men who don't want to volunteer to walk that walk?

No one is obligated to step in to fulfill that role.

I am the man of my house. All my children live with my wife and I. All of our children came out of her body. That's how we planned and executed our lives for the last 20 years. That's us.

I have a 18 year old son. I tell him to steer clear of women with children. Their children are not his responsibility. I tell him to wait on the young (childless) woman that is waiting on you - a promising young man with no children who has the desire and determination to be a husband and father.

OK. (Switching focus.)

The OP should let that woman go so she can attempt to find happiness with someone else. He doesn't want her - enough.

He should bounce.

She shouldn't be settling for this deficient relationship with a dude that won't have an emotional, intellectual and social relationship with her.

She can't un-have those 5 children.

It been 2 years since they met. Those children are not going to fade away.

The OP has a not-so-intimate relationship of 2 years with a woman he doesn't want.

Come on, dude.

Just move on and fall in love and live happily after with a woman that makes you happy.

There is no happily ever after in your present position.

 

[swiftandsilent]

There are men who will not only date but will marry a woman with a ready made family. There also exist men who have a love for children. That obviously is not your thing judging from your use of emotioncons.

Its commendable when men even enter into relationships with women with children. With so many men running away from their responsibilities and turning a cold shoulder towards women with children, IMO those are the real men. The ones that make positive changes within the black community. The ones who will do community services and volunteer their free time for the sake of giving.

The true measure of a man cannot be accurately measured by his wealth or his possessions. Its measured by the lives he touches and has a positive influence upon.

You are so right.................

 

[dHustla]

I cringed upon reading this silliness.

The reference to real men is such a disruptive reference.

Why is any man less than a man if he chooses not to assume another man's role and responsibility?

I have no problem with you commending the type of man that will assume another man's role and responsibility. But why slight men who don't want to volunteer to walk that walk?

No one is obligated to step in to fulfill that role.

I am the man of my house. All my children live with my wife and I. All of our children came out of her body. That's how we planned and executed our lives for the last 20 years. That's us.

I have a 18 year old son. I tell him to steer clear of women with children. Their children are not his responsibility. I tell him to wait on the young (childless) woman that is waiting on you - a promising young man with no children who has the desire and determination to be a husband and father.

OK. (Switching focus.)

The OP should let that woman go so she can attempt to find happiness with someone else. He doesn't want her - enough.

He should bounce.

She shouldn't be settling for this deficient relationship with a dude that won't have an emotional, intellectual and social relationship with her.

She can't un-have those 5 children.

It been 2 years since they met. Those children are not going to fade away.

The OP has a not-so-intimate relationship of 2 years with a woman he doesn't want.

Come on, dude.

Just move on and fall in love and live happily after with a woman that makes you happy.

There is no happily ever after in your present position.

preach