Ladies A Question?

[infamous-online]

Guys you can comment as well, but I have to ask, why is it we as young black couples are afraid of public display of affection?

Especially in our generation, I saw an older black couple around 60-70ish, making out and saying i love you and shit, then a couple around my age, looked at them like they had killed somebody.

So, I have to ask, whats the shame in showing pda with your mate, especially if you have been together for years and such?

 

[LoneStar29]

I don't think there is anything wrong with PDA ... to a point ... open mouth kissing in public by anybody is grossBut seriously I think it is really sweet that the older couple was so affectionate ... I would kiss closed mouth and maybe hold hands in public but that is it

 

[bigirl]

I am 37 and have never been into PDA. I get very uncomfortable seeing a couple sucking face in public. I don't wanna see that shit. A hug, lil kiss, hand holding(which I am also not that into) is fine. Heavy petting should be done in private IMO.

 

[jucurious]

i'm 24 and i'm down for PDA....as long as it doesn't look like foreplay in public


kisses

hugs

holding hands

being silly and walkin while being hugged up from behind...(i love it)


stuff like that...i'm down


BUT

tonguin me down

walkin with ur hand on the top of my ass

smackin/pinchin my ass in public

grabin/ playing with my chest

me grabbin ur crotch

and stuff like that in public (trust me i have seen this done)

is inappropriate


i mean if we are in public and i feel the need to whisper somethin in ur ear and kiss/suck on ur ear real quick....i'll do so but i would be DISCREET about it...some ppl are just real extra with it



i think that in my generation....some ppl see PDA for a guy as a sign of being whooped...and God forbid your boys see that shit

shit..i even know girls like that

 

[mzmillion]

I don't have a problem with it to an extent. I love to see people in love in public, especially laughing and joking, maybe acting like kids a little bit, it's sweet to me. I don't like seeing shit that you might put a censor blur on if it was shown on tv though. When I can see the tongues in each other mouth, groping, and damn near dry humping, its not for the public, that shit is supposed to be private.

 

[LoneStar29]

One time I saw this one young white couple making out so hard ... the guy was throwing her up against the wall and kissing her all open mouth ... then turned her around and was kissing her all passionately from the back and shit ... everybody was like ... I didn't know wether to get mad or join in ... DAMN ... that was mos def too much

Another time I saw an older white couple who were very affectionate ... she sat on his lap and they began kissing ... that wasn't so gross to me ... I actually thought it was sort of sweet

 

[infamous-online]

i'm 24 and i'm down for PDA....as long as it doesn't look like foreplay in public


kisses

hugs

holding hands

being silly and walkin while being hugged up from behind...(i love it)


stuff like that...i'm down



that right there is perfect, and of course i see nothing wrong with that either.





BUT

tonguin me down

walkin with ur hand on the top of my ass

smackin/pinchin my ass in public

grabin/ playing with my chest

me grabbin ur crotch

and stuff like that in public (trust me i have seen this done)

is inappropriate


you can get away with that in like a dark place like a movie theather, as long as it's not obvious.

i mean if we are in public and i feel the need to whisper somethin in ur ear and kiss/suck on ur ear real quick....i'll do so but i would be DISCREET about it...some ppl are just real extra with it

some people have no shame, or they could just be some freaks.

i think that in my generation....some ppl see PDA for a guy as a sign of being whooped...and God forbid your boys see that shit

shit..i even know girls like that

sad, i tell ya, then that woman would be the main one talking about how all the good ones passed me by and blah blah. we do it too sad to say, i'm making no excuses for us, especially since we do it quite a bit.

 

[mrjody]

I am 37

Hmph. You don't say..

 

[Crown&Coke]

Hugs, kisses, and playing around in public is one thing, but all that open mouth kissin and public foreplay is too much.​

 

[whoalilmomma]

Some people are so extra about their PDA. Like, I know she's got a fat ass, I don't need to see your hand resting there. It's like they're trying to prove something.

But anywho, I think closed mouth kisses and just generally being affectionate (hugs, discreet tiuches, playing around), is very cute. It's like those people are doing it because they sincerely enjoy being around their partner, not just to put on a show.

 

[AristotlesOwn]

Ah PDA. I've never really been into it. Whispering nasty stuff into an ear is something I can get down with, but holding hands makes me uneasy for some reason.

 

[jucurious]

Ah PDA. I've never really been into it. Whispering nasty stuff into an ear is something I can get down with, but holding hands makes me uneasy for some reason.

for some reason?


hmmmm care to explore some possible reasons?

hypothetically speaking....if you were with your girl walking around in public and she grabs for your hand...what come to mind? what are you feeling?

be honest

 

[Harlem's Angel]

i'm 24 and i'm down for PDA....as long as it doesn't look like foreplay in public


kisses

hugs

holding hands

being silly and walkin while being hugged up from behind...(i love it)


stuff like that...i'm down


BUT

tonguin me down

walkin with ur hand on the top of my ass

smackin/pinchin my ass in public

grabin/ playing with my chest

me grabbin ur crotch

and stuff like that in public (trust me i have seen this done)

is inappropriate


i mean if we are in public and i feel the need to whisper somethin in ur ear and kiss/suck on ur ear real quick....i'll do so but i would be DISCREET about it...some ppl are just real extra with it



i think that in my generation....some ppl see PDA for a guy as a sign of being whooped...and God forbid your boys see that shit

shit..i even know girls like that

Guilty as charged.
But I wont do it in the middle of Herald's Square but if there aren't alot of ppl around we can get a little freaky. I love him and wanna sex him and I want the world to know lol.....

I don't like to see two guys tongue kissin though... I dunno why.

I also don't tongue kiss. Only a lil sumpin sumpin lil pecks.

 

[AristotlesOwn]

for some reason?


hmmmm care to explore some possible reasons?

hypothetically speaking....if you were with your girl walking around in public and she grabs for your hand...what come to mind? what are you feeling?

be honest

I know exactly WHAT the reason is.

What comes to mind is "I don't want to hold your hand".

I feel uneasy about the feelings behind the 'hand holding'. I don't really want to connect on that level. I also don't want to be a dating showpiece.

I think for the right woman all of this would be moot, but I haven't found her yet.

What I do like to do and do often is speak really nasty things I want to do into my significant other's ear when we're out. She has no choice but to suck it up until we get somewhere where we can release.

 

[LoneStar29]

I know exactly WHAT the reason is.

What comes to mind is "I don't want to hold your hand".

I feel uneasy about the feelings behind the 'hand holding'. I don't really want to connect on that level. I also don't want to be a dating showpiece.

I think for the right woman all of this would be moot, but I haven't found her yet.

What I do like to do and do often is speak really nasty things I want to do into my significant other's ear when we're out. She has no choice but to suck it up until we get somewhere where we can release.

It's funny to me how you think holding hands is too deep of a connection but whispering in her ear that you're gonna fuck her doggystyle when you get home isn't

I can't front cuz I wont hold a mans hand in public either even if we are having sex cuz to me that means he's claimin' me to the world and I can't have that ... I mean ... what if my future Mr.Right comes along and sees thatBut if I really like the guy then I'm down for it if it'll make him happy

 

[Cleopatra_J]

PDA is ok.. in moderation, but like others have said.. if your dry humping in public I don't really want to see that... I am guilty of some PDA.. but little things.. I'll smack a booty on the sneak... or rub his head... and I don't mind being caressed in public...

 

[AristotlesOwn]

It's funny to me how you think holding hands is too deep of a connection but whispering in her ear that you're gonna fuck her doggystyle when you get home isn't

I can't front cuz I wont hold a mans hand in public either even if we are having sex cuz to me that means he's claimin' me to the world and I can't have that ... I mean ... what if my future Mr.Right comes along and sees thatBut if I really like the guy then I'm down for it if it'll make him happy

You basically said the same thing I did. Fukkin' is one thing, but holding hands...on a different plane of intimacy in my opinion.

ps. did you get my gift?

 

[PrincessC]

I really don't like PDA, personally. But I have found that I don't mind watching other people makeout.

 

[jucurious]

I know exactly WHAT the reason is.

What comes to mind is "I don't want to hold your hand".

I feel uneasy about the feelings behind the 'hand holding'. I don't really want to connect on that level. I also don't want to be a dating showpiece.

I think for the right woman all of this would be moot, but I haven't found her yet.

What I do like to do and do often is speak really nasty things I want to do into my significant other's ear when we're out. She has no choice but to suck it up until we get somewhere where we can release.

uh huh...that is what i thought ur reasoning was. and yeah...holding hands is past fucking (sounds crazy but yeah)

there is a certain way i WONT hold someone's hand unless we are in love ... and i have only been in love twice, and only got to the point of holding dudes hand in the "forbidden" way once. you know when you interlock all of your fingers w/ the other person? yeah i wont do that....that really means something to me (yeah i'm corny)

but thanks for being honest w/ yo sexy ass...i saw ur pics today in the locs/goatee thread and ....uhh

*regains composure*

yeah thanks for being honest *nervously smiles & quickly exists*

 

[AristotlesOwn]

uh huh...that is what i thought ur reasoning was. and yeah...holding hands is past fucking (sounds crazy but yeah)

there is a certain way i WONT hold someone's hand unless we are in love ... and i have only been in love twice, and only got to the point of holding dudes hand in the "forbidden" way once. you know when you interlock all of your fingers w/ the other person? yeah i wont do that....that really means something to me (yeah i'm corny)

but thanks for being honest w/ yo sexy ass...i saw ur pics today in the locs/goatee thread and ....uhh

*regains composure*

yeah thanks for being honest *nervously smiles & quickly exists*

, check your pm

 

[Harlem's Angel]

big girl what if you man is into that? Are you telling me you wouldn't cut for you man??

www.schoolofdating.com

*looks around* No one caught that?

 

[Crown&Coke]

*looks around* No one caught that?

Thats fucked up. I didnt notice it the first time.​

 

[infamous-online]

so for the ones that feel like they need to be discreet about their partner, be honest is it due to shame, or fear of being labeled as easy or both?

honest answers now.

 

[infamous-online]

I know exactly WHAT the reason is.

What comes to mind is "I don't want to hold your hand".

I feel uneasy about the feelings behind the 'hand holding'. I don't really want to connect on that level. I also don't want to be a dating showpiece.

I think for the right woman all of this would be moot, but I haven't found her yet.

What I do like to do and do often is speak really nasty things I want to do into my significant other's ear when we're out. She has no choice but to suck it up until we get somewhere where we can release.

awww you wild dawg.

 

[bigirl]

Hmph. You don't say..

 

[bigirl]

big girl what if you man is into that? Are you telling me you wouldn't cut for you man??

www.schoolofdating.com

One g not 2

Its not all about what he wants

 

[Harbinger]

LOL,

I can see why so many people have trouble with meaningful, lasting, PERSONAL relationships.

Such inhibitions.

Intimacy ain't all about fuckin', it's actually a very small part.

But I guess from some of the comments, some of y'all ain't tryin' to get into anything meaningful and longterm.

"forbidden" way of holding hands????

LOL

 

[Harlem's Angel]

so for the ones that feel like they need to be discreet about their partner, be honest is it due to shame, or fear of being labeled as easy or both?

honest answers now.

Well sometimes I get funny if my man grabs my butt and someone gives me a look because i look younger than I am (and even if I looked my age), people look at me like a loose little girl. Someone once asked me why my momma let my ass out the house at this time of night wit some pissy tailed boy. I was 20 and living on my own...

 

[jucurious]

LOL,

I can see why so many people have trouble with meaningful, lasting, PERSONAL relationships.

Such inhibitions.

Intimacy ain't all about fuckin', it's actually a very small part.

But I guess from some of the comments, some of y'all ain't tryin' to get into anything meaningful and longterm.

"forbidden" way of holding hands????

LOL

me sayin forbidden was a sarcastic joke

everyone has their "thing" which means something dear to them and that is mine.

when i hold someone's hand like that or were sitting across the table at a diner on the late night drinking smoothies (damn i'm having flashbacks) and we are holding each others hands interlocked, laughing, and being all "lovey dovery"....for me that signifies that i feel safe and secure with that person. it has nothing to do w/ it being in private or in public but the act of actually doing it...interlocking fingers which is much stronger and unified then just a regular hand clasp

anyway

everyone has their "thing" and that is mine

 

[jucurious]

, check your pm

*faints*

 

[Harbinger]

me sayin forbidden was a sarcastic joke

everyone has their "thing" which means something dear to them and that is mine.

when i hold someone's hand like that or were sitting across the table at a diner on the late night drinking smoothies (damn i'm having flashbacks) and we are holding each others hands interlocked, laughing, and being all "lovey dovery"....for me that signifies that i feel safe and secure with that person. it has nothing to do w/ it being in private or in public but the act of actually doing it...interlocking fingers which is much stronger and unified then just a regular hand clasp

anyway

everyone has their "thing" and that is mine

Hey, I'm really not trying to be an ass, it just sounded funny. My point though, was, if you're going to be in a relationship, BE in the relationship. Go all out, don't hold back, live it like this is the last one you'll ever have. Sure you run the risk of being hurt, but that just means you need to make better choices, cuz when it's good, it's REALLY GOOD. There's no other feeling like it, kids notwithstanding.

It just seems these days people hold back too much, always worried about getting hurt, or being taken advantage of, or what will my friends/family think. And oddly enough this restraint will often be what kills the relationship.

I believe in that cliche'/poem whatever it is, that says 'sing like no ones listening, dance like nobody's watching' or however the hell it goes.

Let go, really enjoy yourself, you will get over any hurt feelings or embarrassment.

Honestly, no one has ever died from a broken heart (although some HAVE committed suicide, but I digress!)

 

[jucurious]

Hey, I'm really not trying to be an ass, it just sounded funny. My point though, was, if you're going to be in a relationship, BE in the relationship. Go all out, don't hold back, live it like this is the last one you'll ever have. Sure you run the risk of being hurt, but that just means you need to make better choices, cuz when it's good, it's REALLY GOOD. There's no other feeling like it, kids notwithstanding.

It just seems these days people hold back too much, always worried about getting hurt, or being taken advantage of, or what will my friends/family think. And oddly enough this restraint will often be what kills the relationship.

I believe in that cliche'/poem whatever it is, that says 'sing like no ones listening, dance like nobody's watching' or however the hell it goes.

Let go, really enjoy yourself, you will get over any hurt feelings or embarrassment.

Honestly, no one has ever died from a broken heart (although some HAVE committed suicide, but I digress!)

yes...when it's good its damn near euphoric...lol

i agree, people are very very afraid of letting go and giving their all to a relationship....if you find the time...peep the thread on bgol about advice the men were given about woman, it just screams "i'm scared, gotta keep her at a distance". (i will post a link later).

but yeah i give my all, cuz if i'm in a relationship w/ u, I obviously think your worthy of it...until proven otherwise. so until, we gonna ride that bitch to the wheels fall off...hahaha

i can def dig ya!

 

[Eva Hornae]

I love, love,so i'm not afraid of PDA as long as it's mild & flithy!

 

[Eva Hornae]

Hey, I'm really not trying to be an ass, it just sounded funny. My point though, was, if you're going to be in a relationship, BE in the relationship. Go all out, don't hold back, live it like this is the last one you'll ever have. Sure you run the risk of being hurt, but that just means you need to make better choices, cuz when it's good, it's REALLY GOOD. There's no other feeling like it, kids notwithstanding.

It just seems these days people hold back too much, always worried about getting hurt, or being taken advantage of, or what will my friends/family think. And oddly enough this restraint will often be what kills the relationship.

I believe in that cliche'/poem whatever it is, that says 'sing like no ones listening, dance like nobody's watching' or however the hell it goes.

Let go, really enjoy yourself, you will get over any hurt feelings or embarrassment.

Honestly, no one has ever died from a broken heart (although some HAVE committed suicide, but I digress!)

real talk! :groupwave

 

[Eva Hornae]

there is no better feeling than feeling like a child getting a new toy and playing with it! love is great as long as the other person reciprocates!