Simple question...I hear cats always shitting on the institution of marriage. Talking about how it's of no benefit to the man. Is marriage in itself wrong, or did you just pick the wrong woman to marry or be in a relationship with?
Is There Something Wrong With Marriage, Or Just YOUR Marriage?
- Thread starter MaximusBlaque
- Start date
For millions of years man survived, for 1000's of years man survived and recorded his history and family lineage, now within the last 300 years, Marriage certificates, Birth Certificates, SSN Cards, drivers licenses, identification Cards, Joint taxes, Joint assets, ects, ects....
Be a man and do YOU fuck what everybody else thinks, Marriage NOT
a good thing unless it works for YOU!
If it doesn't work remember you did it to yourself!
Be a man and do YOU fuck what everybody else thinks, Marriage NOT
a good thing unless it works for YOU!
If it doesn't work remember you did it to yourself!
Bruh....the sad thing is that...most of the cats who dog marriage have never been married.
They get their wisdom through "word of mouth".
Cats who have divorced...I respect their opinion (but wont take it as gospel of course).
I quoted one cat from the other thread who made the best statement on "Why would any INTELLIGENT Black Man want to get married?".
Here is the same quote.
^^^ full of wisdom, modesty, and self reflection.
You should REALLY think why so many are adamantly against marriage....
mit_dropout
Banned
Marriage has over a 50% failure rate. Of course something is wrong with it.
Too many people go into it liking one or two things about a person yet letting them trump over the things that they don't like. Those little things tend to grow in size after a while and wreck shit.
She may have a phat ass, make pretty kids, etc. but does she keep a clean home, cook, spend money like water, etc?
The phat ass thang gets old after a few years of getting it.
She may have a phat ass, make pretty kids, etc. but does she keep a clean home, cook, spend money like water, etc?
The phat ass thang gets old after a few years of getting it.
The rate is high because 2nd and 3rd marriages fail at 70+%. First marriages divorce rate is well under 50%.
Everybody shouldn't get married. Everybody's not built for it. I like that quote from ScorpDiesel too because it's honest and real. He doesn't put shit on anyone else but his own shoulders. There are quantifiable benefits for men to get married but when marriages fail, it's hell for all parties involved.
Funny thing, the groups that need the benefits of marriage (added income, better living standards, health benefits) are the ones that get married the least. That's not a coincidence.
don't be a lawyer. how can scientists know the internal temperature of the sun? based on predictions, probability and formulas. no one ever experienced the inner core of the sun.
marriage is an tool (in my opinion, a social engineering tool). a good analogy would be college. if you choose the right college with the name brand, the reasonably priced valuable tuition, the right major, the right internships, the probability of landing a job is far higher than without those considered beforehand. throw in luck (irrational or emotional behavior) and the marriage. Like college, marriage is not for everyone.
Marriage is just a reflection of a union between two people it's not something tangible you can blame. If theres something wrong with the marriage then thats the two peoples way in the marriage of saying without taking responsibility theres something wrong with both of them. I think marriage is not condusive to todays society because of what we are exposed to much stuff. Blaming marriage is like the carpenter always blaming his tools for wack ass furniture when it is he who is useless. There is something really wrong with men and women today , marriage is a daunting thought seeing the calibre of women/men today. The other day I sat down to count how many actually decent people with integrity i know around my age and i literally could only count two
I think the romantized concept of marriage is the reason for the downslide of the institution. For thousands of years people joined in marriage for a myraid of reasons and love wasn't the number one reason. Today we call those kinds of relationships marriages of convenience and look down on it but that was the standard for longer than the romantic concept.
for the last few hundred years marriage is seen in a romantic/love concept and that isn't neccesarily a strong foundation or at least not as strong as honesty and trust.
for the last few hundred years marriage is seen in a romantic/love concept and that isn't neccesarily a strong foundation or at least not as strong as honesty and trust.
Have you ever sat down and studied marriage/divorce laws? If you ever do, you will realize how fucked up it is for. a man. You also have to realize tha society has dramaticaly changed in the past 50 years, and marriage no longer meshes well with what's going on today.
C/S
I'm posting from the phone so I can't quote Scorpio diesel's quote. The problem I have with his quote is that he's basically saying that if you don't marry then that means you are immature, and that's some bullshit.
Its not the marriages but the legal system. The legal system has gone bad regarding marriages, in particular child support.
A woman can run to the law over the slightest problem. Cops will arrive and haul your ass away regardless of who's at fault. Women are given the benefit of the doubt the majority of the time. A man would damn near have to be dismembered before the cops would take a woman to jail. An it gets even worse once the courts are involved.
A woman can run to the law over the slightest problem. Cops will arrive and haul your ass away regardless of who's at fault. Women are given the benefit of the doubt the majority of the time. A man would damn near have to be dismembered before the cops would take a woman to jail. An it gets even worse once the courts are involved.
Marriage is the same. Society has changed. If you notice in poor underdeveloped societies marriage is still going strong.
Our grandparents had to rely on each other for economical support. Women got paid well below what men did and often couldn't afford to be independent. Men had to work harder and longer to support a family and often didn't have time to help take care of house and home.
In came women's lib and worker's union.
Our society (including it's legal system) is making everyone self sufficient. Not to mention technology. You can be living under the same roof as someone and have your own separate phone, mail (email), bank account, transportation. Hell you can live (or relive) a separate life online if you wanted to.
Recently it has come to light a lot of marriages that are ending at my job. Noone is really surprised to hear about the divorces, though.
Our grandparents had to rely on each other for economical support. Women got paid well below what men did and often couldn't afford to be independent. Men had to work harder and longer to support a family and often didn't have time to help take care of house and home.
In came women's lib and worker's union.
Our society (including it's legal system) is making everyone self sufficient. Not to mention technology. You can be living under the same roof as someone and have your own separate phone, mail (email), bank account, transportation. Hell you can live (or relive) a separate life online if you wanted to.
Recently it has come to light a lot of marriages that are ending at my job. Noone is really surprised to hear about the divorces, though.
in my opinion there is nothing wrong with the institution of marriage but the days of jumping into marriage in your late teens early 20's and staying married 50 and 60 years growing old together is no longer existing
That's not what he's saying at all. He says very clearly that he's not cut out to be married. The fact is some people, many people, are too selfish and/or immature to be married. That might not be the case for all unmarried people but Scorp didn't say "All" he said "Some".
Maybe where you stay. Here, if a man calls the police on his woman (that rarely happens) she's going to jail. The only way she doesn't is if he backs off (the most frequent occurrence) and there are no visible marks on him.
Shit my marriage was alright, the good times were phenomenal, the ugly times were some of the worst shit any human being has endured, no bullshit
Positives:
Combining incomes to buy shit
My credit was fucked, hers was 720, I got two cribs off the bitch
Two beautiful babies
In house pussy and friendship
Sharing dreams and all of that shit
Having "firsts" e.g., pregnancy, first home, so many stories and good history
Having someone to support and getting supported in exchange
Negatives:
SAMOS day in and day out
Divorce day-All the positives were gone my nigga, had to split up everything down the middle including the kids
Child support even though we share custody, sorry bitch never took control over her career, so she still making entry level money after 10 years at the same job
Knowing that one person has the power and ability to destroy an empire, with a series (or one) bad choice
Bottom Line:
DON'T DO THAT SHIT!
Positives:
Combining incomes to buy shit
My credit was fucked, hers was 720, I got two cribs off the bitch
Two beautiful babies
In house pussy and friendship
Sharing dreams and all of that shit
Having "firsts" e.g., pregnancy, first home, so many stories and good history
Having someone to support and getting supported in exchange
Negatives:
SAMOS day in and day out
Divorce day-All the positives were gone my nigga, had to split up everything down the middle including the kids
Child support even though we share custody, sorry bitch never took control over her career, so she still making entry level money after 10 years at the same job
Knowing that one person has the power and ability to destroy an empire, with a series (or one) bad choice
Bottom Line:
DON'T DO THAT SHIT!
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the institution of marriage:
1. 70% plus of divorces are due to $$$ issues, NOT infidelity. run out of money, you may run out of pussy. remember, "thru good times & bad..."
2. me and my friends have ALL fucked a LOT of married broads... some happy, some separated, some bored, some were just horny. obviously, some women don't give a fuck about marriage or being faithful.
3. most of my married male friends get more "strange" pussy than me. when we go out, those wedding bands act as pussy magnets as women FLOCK to fuck dem niccas. my white friends have a completely out of control "strange" pussy rate; dem white gals LOVE a challenge, i guess.
all i can say is that pussy costs. it costs upfront, it costs in the form of child support, and it really, really costs upon divorce. keep thinking it's free and watch your ass get raked across the coals.
THE ONLY REASON I WOULD EVER GET MARRIED IS TO HAVE CHILDREN. otherwise, fuck dat.
1. 70% plus of divorces are due to $$$ issues, NOT infidelity. run out of money, you may run out of pussy. remember, "thru good times & bad..."
2. me and my friends have ALL fucked a LOT of married broads... some happy, some separated, some bored, some were just horny. obviously, some women don't give a fuck about marriage or being faithful.
3. most of my married male friends get more "strange" pussy than me. when we go out, those wedding bands act as pussy magnets as women FLOCK to fuck dem niccas. my white friends have a completely out of control "strange" pussy rate; dem white gals LOVE a challenge, i guess.
all i can say is that pussy costs. it costs upfront, it costs in the form of child support, and it really, really costs upon divorce. keep thinking it's free and watch your ass get raked across the coals.
THE ONLY REASON I WOULD EVER GET MARRIED IS TO HAVE CHILDREN. otherwise, fuck dat.
same ole shit
the institution of marriage:
1. 70% plus of divorces are due to $$$ issues, NOT infidelity. run out of money, you may run out of pussy. remember, "thru good times & bad..."
2. me and my friends have ALL fucked a LOT of married broads... some happy, some separated, some bored, some were just horny. obviously, some women don't give a fuck about marriage or being faithful.
3. most of my married male friends get more "strange" pussy than me. when we go out, those wedding bands act as pussy magnets as women FLOCK to fuck dem niccas. my white friends have a completely out of control "strange" pussy rate; dem white gals LOVE a challenge, i guess.
all i can say is that pussy costs. it costs upfront, it costs in the form of child support, and it really, really costs upon divorce. keep thinking it's free and watch your ass get raked across the coals.
THE ONLY REASON I WOULD EVER GET MARRIED IS TO HAVE CHILDREN. otherwise, fuck dat.
This is my take on that shit bro, the more you amass (house, kids, cars, vacations, etc) the more money you gonna spend. Me and my ex-folks started off with PLENTY loot, but we was also living in a shitty ass one bedroom apartment, driving the same bullshit cars we got after college-
Once we started living as young, educated, middle class motherfuckers, then all of a sudden that trip to ocho rios for the second honeymoon starts looking bleak, especially when somebody needs braces, football equipment, or the fucking BMW you just had to have starts tripping, (not too even mention the fucked up economy) -
Once that money stress hits anybody hard, and they don't have appropriate coping skills, or have not set appropriate boundaries, they are now easy prey for depression, which turns into convincing yourself you need more/different shit in order to maintain their own sanity-
If you tell yourself a lie enough, at some point you will start to believe that shit
What I'm saying is too many people (dudes and broads) enter into marriage with a fantasy of how it should be, once the reality of what it really is (bills, kids, fuck once or twice a week, work, bills, kids, etc), that shit sends motherfuckers spiraling-
Me I fell into gambling, drinking and just doing single nigga shit I had no business doing. The life stress shit sent my ex into a depression, which in turn led her to find a new "friend" and shit was a rap at that point- I know at least I don't want that bitch anymore
All the reasons them married chicks give you are bullshit justifications, their in crisis, plain and simple and are acting out badly to get a boost of self esteem, which unfortunately isn't gonna come from fucking a strange dude, and the cycle keeps going on until either they get caught, or grow the fuck up and realize happiness comes from within-
some real shit right there.
1/ material possessions (bmw's, keeping up with the jones' etc) should NOT be the base of whether you're happy or not.
2/ i know kids are expensive; so i wouldn't have more than i can afford to feed. my Mom & Dad were broke as fuck in the projects, and they had one kid. me. i asked why she never had any others, and Moms said, "we could barely feed & keep clothes on you... why would we have another kid?"
3/ knowing that happiness comes from within should be ESTABLISHED IN YOUR CHILDREN. grown-ass adults chasing material possessions to make themselves feel worthy is beyond my comprehension. women constantly attention whoring and guys buying car after car to boost their confidence is bullshit.
accumulating a bunch of depreciating assets isn't a smart move... i learned that in engineering college. establishing a budget based on your PRESENT SALARY, living within your means, and buying what you NEED BEFORE BUYING WHAT YOU WANT, are all valuable lessons that have kept me afloat during rough times.
Simply put, there is a high number of marriages that don't work and end in divorce. A better statistic to look at is, how many of them motherfuckers was "REALLY" ready for marriage to begin with? If you are or know your other half to be is triflin' what the hell you expect, honestly? In reference to the niggas that dog the unity, yes the numbers don't look good but why live life without something that truly belongs to you? Ol' rent-a-ho ass niggas! Be realistic not a follower, these children, your children, need their family. That's whats wrong with us. No commitment to anything in life, sadly it starts at home!
Classic
1/ material possessions (bmw's, keeping up with the jones' etc) should NOT be the base of whether you're happy or not.
2/ i know kids are expensive; so i wouldn't have more than i can afford to feed. my Mom & Dad were broke as fuck in the projects, and they had one kid. me. i asked why she never had any others, and Moms said, "we could barely feed & keep clothes on you... why would we have another kid?"
3/ knowing that happiness comes from within should be ESTABLISHED IN YOUR CHILDREN. grown-ass adults chasing material possessions to make themselves feel worthy is beyond my comprehension. women constantly attention whoring and guys buying car after car to boost their confidence is bullshit.
accumulating a bunch of depreciating assets isn't a smart move... i learned that in engineering college. establishing a budget based on your PRESENT SALARY, living within your means, and buying what you NEED BEFORE BUYING WHAT YOU WANT, are all valuable lessons that have kept me afloat during rough times.
Slim, the bottom line is that their was no way under God's green earth that myself, nor my ex-wife were gonna live like fucking ghetto rats- I came from that shit too, and I wasn't about to go back to eating ramen noodles and all of that shit, when we were earning $120K collectively even though I scored the lions share of that shit it was still our money), and I damn sure was not going to have my babies living like that-
We were not the only house on the block that was underwater because of the fucked up housing market, however we were one of the the few who didn't possess the necesarry coping or communication skills in order to overcome that rough patch- Which to be honest doesn't even scratch the surface as far as hard shit that's gonna happen during the course of your life (major illness, long term job loss, etc), so we were fucked either way
I handled it by falling ass deep into vodka, cognac, newports, overspending at bars and running the streets like a single nigga, and she fell ass deep into her co-worker (pun intended)- My shit wasn't a deal breaker for her, but hers was for me-
the institution of marriage:
1. 70% plus of divorces are due to $$$ issues, NOT infidelity. run out of money, you may run out of pussy. remember, "thru good times & bad..."
2. me and my friends have ALL fucked a LOT of married broads... some happy, some separated, some bored, some were just horny. obviously, some women don't give a fuck about marriage or being faithful.
3. most of my married male friends get more "strange" pussy than me. when we go out, those wedding bands act as pussy magnets as women FLOCK to fuck dem niccas. my white friends have a completely out of control "strange" pussy rate; dem white gals LOVE a challenge, i guess.
all i can say is that pussy costs. it costs upfront, it costs in the form of child support, and it really, really costs upon divorce. keep thinking it's free and watch your ass get raked across the coals.
THE ONLY REASON I WOULD EVER GET MARRIED IS TO HAVE CHILDREN. otherwise, fuck dat.
.....
*two cents*
Simply put, there is a high number of marriages that don't work and end in divorce. A better statistic to look at is, how many of them motherfuckers was "REALLY" ready for marriage to begin with? If you are or know your other half to be is triflin' what the hell you expect, honestly? In reference to the niggas that dog the unity, yes the numbers don't look good but why live life without something that truly belongs to you? Ol' rent-a-ho ass niggas! Be realistic not a follower, these children, your children, need their family. That's whats wrong with us. No commitment to anything in life, sadly it starts at home!
how can you gauge a stat like this? as my Dad always says, "sometimes, you actually have to marry the woman to find-out if she's marriage material." in other words, what you see isn't always what you get.
my observation is that some women can't even balance their own checkbooks and have FUCKED-UP credit BEFORE marriage... all of a sudden want to "handle" the family's money on some leave it to beaver type lifestyle.
fuck dat. as i said, over 70% of marriages fail because of $$$, not cheating or beating. it's $$$. and it's usually one or the other fucking-up the $$$ instead of taking care of business.
damn.
Props on this subject and thread. I am not married and the thought of marriage scares me. The reason why is the mentality of people. The world has turned selfish (IMO) and the institute of marriage should be about "we" and "us" and not "I" and "me." In some cases I don't see the 50-50 being put into relationships and couples don't realize marriage like all relationships takes work on both parts. A person in a relationship would have to sacrifice to support the other and at times instead of celebrating their achievement, resentment and jealousy sneaks into the relationship. Then the "what about me" starts and it's not easy to find that person that will truly support you.
The other problem is that people are always looking for the easy way out or "quick fixes." Instead of facing and trying to work their problems, they look for the easy way out which turns into: affairs, gambling, drug use, abuse etc. People need to realize that feeling depression and vulnerability can not be solved in a bottle or someone else bed.
I've also notice many people are getting married in a short period of time. In the past year, I've met clients that knew each other for six months or a year and they decided to get married. Now don't get me wrong, it can be possible but can you really know a person in that short amount of time, to know that you want to marry them and spend the rest of your life with them.
Yes also the legal system. I wrote a paper on what happens to men in these divorce case and it's really sad and unfair. Contrary to popular belief, there are men that want to be part of their children's lives but women have a lot of leverage in the eyes of the court and overall divorce is never a good thing.
These are some of the reasons why I'm scared of marriage but overall it's the issue of trust and what you put into the relationship if your wife and or girlfriend is willing to doing the same and stand by you.
The other problem is that people are always looking for the easy way out or "quick fixes." Instead of facing and trying to work their problems, they look for the easy way out which turns into: affairs, gambling, drug use, abuse etc. People need to realize that feeling depression and vulnerability can not be solved in a bottle or someone else bed.
I've also notice many people are getting married in a short period of time. In the past year, I've met clients that knew each other for six months or a year and they decided to get married. Now don't get me wrong, it can be possible but can you really know a person in that short amount of time, to know that you want to marry them and spend the rest of your life with them.
Yes also the legal system. I wrote a paper on what happens to men in these divorce case and it's really sad and unfair. Contrary to popular belief, there are men that want to be part of their children's lives but women have a lot of leverage in the eyes of the court and overall divorce is never a good thing.
These are some of the reasons why I'm scared of marriage but overall it's the issue of trust and what you put into the relationship if your wife and or girlfriend is willing to doing the same and stand by you.
+ 1. i co-sign this 100%.
women have waaaaaay too much control under marriage; waaaaay too much power upon divorce.
in La, if you are married with kids... and you can catch her cheating, you STILL end-up paying her, paying for your house, and if the furniture ain't paid-for, you'll be paying for the bed some other nicca is fucking her on... in YOUR cot damn house?!?!?!?!?
and they wonder why niccas are filling-up jails on domestic charges around here.