Is there a polite way to tell a sista she needs to lose weight?

[kenbgco68]

I think I love the woman I'm seeing, but I'm concerned about her weight. When we first met about 10 years ago, I liked her slightly chubby body, and told her so often. We just reignited our relationship, but she gained about 40 lbs! She talks about eating salads daily and exercising, but I don't see it on her figure. She's in her upper 30s, so I know she can easily gain weight unless she takes some action. I'm concerned about her health, too. It's kinda my fault because I tell her I like curvaceous women, but not as fat as she's getting. I don't want to sound shallow, but this will be a dealbreaker if she doesn't lose some weight.

Ladies, what's the most polite way to ask a woman to lose weight?

While we're on the subject...

Has someone ever asked you to lose weight?
Have you ever asked someone else to lose weight?

P.S. As for me, I don't look like Ray Victory in his prime, but I'm not obese. I exercise, but I'm still working on a small pair of love handles.

 

[LADYTEE]

Next time you go workout ask her to tag along..

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I say dump her. It's just going to get worse. And you're going to resent her and cheat. Odds are. Best to avoid all of that now and get you a woman who's visually appealing to you. I've never asked anyone to lose weight. Someone's asked me to gain weight.

 

[Izayoi]

A combination of the above responses

Gentle way: "I love you and you are beautiful no matter what, but I'm concerned about your health. We BOTH need to exercise more and eat right so we can enjoy our future together..."

Yeah she might still be a little pissed off and hit you with the "So you trying to say I'm fat ninja!" However, after she calms down she will hopefully realize that you are saying this out of love. Emphasize "we"; "WE are putting on weight" and "WE should go running 3 days a week." and it's not about "US being crackhead skinny- just healthier and having more energy as a couple."

IF that doesn't work after a period of time, I agree with When. People have to love themselves enough to want to make better decisions for their health. That's a problem if people ignore the things that are killing them and their relationship.

 

[doggish_098]

Next time you go workout ask her to tag along..

last line suggest that he doesnt work out as much as he thinks she should

 

[Rick Ronson]

It's whats inside that counts.

 

[Steve Lurkle]

It's whats inside that counts.

Seems to be gravy in this case.

 

[melonpecan]

Seems to be gravy in this case.

I'm sorry...

 

[LADYTEE]

last line suggest that he doesnt work out as much as he thinks she should

Oh ok so he got a busted can of biscuits too

 

[kenbgco68]

I say dump her. It's just going to get worse.

Typical male response. That's why I already thought of it.

Next time you go workout ask her to tag along..

I workout at home. Got all the toys I need, 1 hr a day, 3x week.

It's whats inside that counts.

Seems to be gravy in this case.

She (and I) would laugh at both those replies.

Oh ok so he got a busted can of biscuits too

And I suppose you and everybody else on the internet has a 6pack set of abs and an ass you can bounce a quarter off of? I'm within the BMI range for my height (5'9"), but there's always room for improvement.

Like I said, I like jiggle, I just don't like jello. And it'll get worse if I don't say something. Otherwise it'll be one of those mystery breakups where I don't tell her why.

Gentle way: "I love you and you are beautiful no matter what, but I'm concerned about your health. We BOTH need to exercise more and eat right so we can enjoy our future together..."

Best response.

 

[Cybts1]

I would like to see a picture of this woman that you say needs to lose weight.

 

[gdhow12]

Fuck the nice guy shit tell her she is heavy and keep it moving....she knows she fat.....whats inside is clogging her heart

 

[DragonXJC]

Alot of "I'm on the internet" tough guy responses, most of you won't say those things to a woman you care about. So cut the "you fat I'm leaving" lines.

 

[doggish_098]

Alot of "I'm on the internet" tough guy responses, most of you won't say those things to a woman you care about. So cut the "you fat I'm leaving" lines.

you can save money on KY and other lubes when your girls natural lube smells and taste like applewood bacon

 

[DragonXJC]

you can save money on KY and other lubes when your girls natural lube smells and taste like applewood bacon

Sounds good, big girls got the natural gravy







I'm joking

 

[Izayoi]

you can save money on KY and other lubes when your girls natural lube smells and taste like applewood bacon

Ewwwwwww If I'm fucking and smell some bacon grease that is it. smh

 

[Upgrade Dave]

A combination of the above responses

Gentle way: "I love you and you are beautiful no matter what, but I'm concerned about your health. We BOTH need to exercise more and eat right so we can enjoy our future together..."

Yeah she might still be a little pissed off and hit you with the "So you trying to say I'm fat ninja!" However, after she calms down she will hopefully realize that you are saying this out of love. Emphasize "we"; "WE are putting on weight" and "WE should go running 3 days a week." and it's not about "US being crackhead skinny- just healthier and having more energy as a couple."

IF that doesn't work after a period of time, I agree with When. People have to love themselves enough to want to make better decisions for their health. That's a problem if people ignore the things that are killing them and their relationship.

you can save money on KY and other lubes when your girls natural lube smells and taste like applewood bacon

Make a sex tape. When she sees all that extra flesh moving around, she'll switch it up.
I'm not the one to tell you what to say because I can be lose with the lips and doing things my way gets people hurt.

 

[nukdollars]

Nope

 

[Izayoi]

Make a sex tape. When she sees all that extra flesh moving around, she'll switch it up.

You know if a woman has a but of vanity, that is actually a damn good idea!

 

[incogneg]

If she was out of shape, or overweight when you met her, most likely is that's how she'll be for the long term. She may fluctuate a bit, but it is what it is... If she was truly an ex-athlete and went through depression or baby weight gain then you're in luck.

Otherwise, like someone mentioned above, move on to someone that lives a healthy lifestyle when you meet them, or just focus on her better qualities without making the weight gain a big deal or making her feel insecure... There's really no point.

 

[Ballhandler]

keep taking her to the spots where the fine bitches hang at, she will get so upset she will start working out.

On the real that weight watchers shit WORKS, totally worth the 30 bucks a month or whatever it costs.

 

[Mo-Better]

When asked how does this look on me, say that outfit looked great 2 years ago but we've both put on some extra pounds and now its not fitting right.

Tell you what, take that piece and lets work at losing this extra weight we've both put on. When it fits right we'll go someplace really nice to show it off.

Its called incentive, you've given her a goal. She can focus on a getting her body right for that trip/outing. Plus that outfit will be right there in her closet helping to focus on her goal.

 

[4North1Side2]

Alot of "I'm on the internet" tough guy responses, most of you won't say those things to a woman you care about. So cut the "you fat I'm leaving" lines.

Nah, I remember in 08 when my Wife blew up I got really mad and said "You are fat as hell and I'm not attracted to you anymore" and wouldn't even look at her for 2 days.

Last week I told her that "I am really proud of you attending the gym on a daily basis and taking the strides to eat heathier foods with careful portion control....but you should be losing much more than 1lb a week at your weight. Your ass needs to stop playing around and hit that cardio hard for a hour."

Finally last night I told her I want a trophy Wife in a joking but serious manner... "I want a trophy Wife, I want to be proud to sport you on my arm while we are out and about where folks break they neck. It's not fair that I stay in great shape and you just stay stagnent. I was always under the assumption that just being in the mere presence of your signigant other makes you want to improve on all facets of life to please them.... I guess I don't do that for you. I know it sounds shallow but attraction is a major component of keeping a relationship successful."

:::sigh::: We'll see how this goes.

 

[ronmch20]

Why bother?? Trust me all people know when they're overweight, so you wouldn't be telling them anything they don't already know and besides, you run the risk of being told to mind your fuckin' business.

 

[TurellSmith]

Nah, I remember in 08 when my Wife blew up I got really mad and said "You are fat as hell and I'm not attracted to you anymore" and wouldn't even look at her for 2 days.

Last week I told her that "I am really proud of you attending the gym on a daily basis and taking the strides to eat heathier foods with careful portion control....but you should be losing much more than 1lb a week at your weight. Your ass needs to stop playing around and hit that cardio hard for a hour."

Finally last night I told her I want a trophy Wife in a joking but serious manner... "I want a trophy Wife, I want to be proud to sport you on my arm while we are out and about where folks break they neck. It's not fair that I stay in great shape and you just stay stagnent. I was always under the assumption that just being in the mere presence of your signigant other makes you want to improve on all facets of life to please them.... I guess I don't do that for you. I know it sounds shallow but attraction is a major component of keeping a relationship successful."

:::sigh::: We'll see how this goes.

Good advice.

 

[xcluesiv]

you can save money on KY and other lubes when your girls natural lube smells and taste like applewood bacon

 

[Uncontainable_Spirit]

You have to make it a team effort. A project that the both of you can do. Make it fun... be encouraging. Do it together.