Is it ok to discipline step children w/out biological father's consent?

[the_male_feminist]

So you dating this woman. And she has a kid aalready yall eventually cohabiting together. The child is acting up, behaving bad, not listening, bringing company/friends over the house that are stealing, getting bad grades, skipping school, pissing in the garbage can, leaving dirty clothes on bathroom floor, not doing chores etc...

Do you have the right to punish the child if the mother is not doing it? Some women allow their kids to get away with murder and usually men are the disciplinary force. Nothing like dad's ass whooping or even making your dad ashamed of you. But you the step daddy. So you have to intervene at some point. Do you sit back and let the mom do it all? What if you have biological kid(s) also do you whoop your own kid but not whoop the step kid?

And on the flip side from the other perspective: if your baby mama's boyfriend is discipling your kids is that ok? What if you bought your son a new x box and a basketball rim. And he got a C+ on his report card and his steo daddy discipline him by taking away his X box and basketball rim you just bought him. What if he take it away if he got a D on his report card? What if he whooped your son/daughter

 

[xxxbishopxxx]

In both your scenarios, there is nothing wrong with the step parent stepping in. In the case of the second one I would appreciate the assistance in making sure my kid is doing right in school. As long as he dishing proper punishments such as what you described, there should be no issues. However, under no circumstances would I be cool with a stranger putting hands on my child, especially if all they are doing is not applying themselves at school.

As to the first scenario, you have an absolute right to step in if the kid is doing all that shit to place you are living in as well. However, if the mom is letting the kid get away with all that, it probably best to move on if all possible. Cause with kid like that gets that bad, you will be forced to either beat his ass, try to move him out (good luck with that conversation with his mom) or move out yourself and find something better. OF course I am assuming the biological dad is nowhere in the picture in this scenario.

 

[bxclark]

In that situation now. No one can put their hands on my children except me. If they are acting up he can verbally discipline but laying hands is off limits. It's different if I wasn't in their lives. If I was a deadbeat and not around then I could understand feeling the need to potentially take discipline to another level as long as their mom is comfortable.

 

[0utsyder]

In that situation now. No one can put their hands on my children except me. If they are acting up he can verbally discipline but laying hands is off limits. It's different if I wasn't in their lives. If I was a deadbeat and not around then I could understand feeling the need to potentially take discipline to another level as long as their mom is comfortable.

This is a conversation that needs to be had with all parents. I don't discipline my kids while I am angry. So if my standard is that high then you're gonna have to meet or exceed my standards.

 

[the_male_feminist]

In that situation now. No one can put their hands on my children except me. If they are acting up he can verbally discipline but laying hands is off limits. It's different if I wasn't in their lives. If I was a deadbeat and not around then I could understand feeling the need to potentially take discipline to another level as long as their mom is comfortable.

So that's proper punishment? Everyone has their own way of parenting, i know some of us brothers grew up getting that old fashioned ass whooping.

There are new ways of parenting though.




There are people that genuinely think this is ok parenting.

What i described as good discipline someone else might not agree. But apparently you have boundaries right? What if the person crosses those boundaries but doesn't do anything illegal?

If anyone ever had a kid they know that people will try to tell you how to raise your own kid.

Cause everyone parents differently. So if people will tell you how to raise your own child you know people will tell you how to raise their child if you step daddy to their child.

In that situation now. No one can put their hands on my children except me. If they are acting up he can verbally discipline but laying hands is off limits. It's different if I wasn't in their lives. If I was a deadbeat and not around then I could understand feeling the need to potentially take discipline to another level as long as their mom is comfortable.

Ok no one can discipline your child but you. What if he decide to take away all his personal stuff that you bought him.

His x box, his jordans, gotta wear the same pair of shoes/boots. Takes away his allowance or anything he buys with it, takes away his cell phone computer and television......curfew.....

No x mas presents

 

[the_male_feminist]

This is a conversation that needs to be had with all parents. I don't discipline my kids while I am angry. So if my standard is that high then you're gonna have to meet or exceed my standards.

but is this a convo all 3 should have before your baby mama dates him and moves in or after? When does this convo happen?

no 2 people parent the same.


If you know kids and are honest about kids you know there will come a time your kids will try you. They will try you at 2 years old they will try you at 8 years old and they will try you at 13, and more and more kids are boomerang kids. Leave the nest and come back.

So kids will try the step daddy to. They may even say "you not my real daddy" esp if the biological father is active in their lives.

So when your child tries his step daddy you expect him to be Ghandi in terms of discipline? Now days kids be smoking, sneaking out.....man kids bad as hell.

 

[crazyace718]

In that situation now. No one can put their hands on my children except me. If they are acting up he can verbally discipline but laying hands is off limits. It's different if I wasn't in their lives. If I was a deadbeat and not around then I could understand feeling the need to potentially take discipline to another level as long as their mom is comfortable.

That takes all the power away from the step parent that is in the house with them every day. How is a child going to respect a man that says "wait until I tell your father". Most people need immediate consequences to respect an authority figure.

 

[REDLINE]

That takes all the power away from the step parent that is in the house with them every day. How is a child going to respect a man that says "wait until I tell your father". Most people need immediate consequences to respect an authority figure.

The man said the step parent could “Verbally Discipline” his child.

Just because he won’t allow the step parent to puts hands on his child that takes their power away?

Interesting...

 

[Goingmark40]

hell yeah its ok...as long as you don't put hands on anybody or the opposite its what gotta be done. i'm a stepfather ...been through all that. His father seen i was a stand up dude ...stayed out my way. Bottom-line you got a household ...your family gonna love you and they gotta hate you. Lot of days I knew my wife and step son were gonna be hot at me but I always stood my ground and made the best decision for our family. They will get mad or whatever but in the end they understood and every night I slept good cause I got shit off my chest.

 

[the_male_feminist]

hell yeah its ok...as long as you don't put hands on anybody or the opposite its what gotta be done. i'm a stepfather ...been through all that. His father seen i was a stand up dude ...stayed out my way. Bottom-line you got a household ...your family gonna love you and they gotta hate you. Lot of days I knew my wife and step son were gonna be hot at me but I always stood my ground and made the best decision for our family. They will get mad or whatever but in the end they understood and every night I slept good cause I got shit off my chest.

But now do you have any biological children with this same woman?

Did he tell you that you cant whoop his kids?

 

[the_male_feminist]

That takes all the power away from the step parent that is in the house with them every day. How is a child going to respect a man that says "wait until I tell your father". Most people need immediate consequences to respect an authority figure.

It aint your child! The child will understand evetually. Doesnt matter if it is immediate or not. Do you whoop your kids immedialty when they get bad grades or when you find out? When and who does the discipline isnt important long as the step father dont whip his step kids.

You can chastise your the child verbally

 

[Goingmark40]

But now do you have any biological children with this same woman?

Did he tell you that you cant whoop his kids?

yeah we had another child. his father said do what you must. i never had to whoop him anyways.

 

[Eclipse99]

I respect any man that is willing to raise or even help raise someone else seed...My brother is doing that shit now (step son is sort of grown now 22 and out his house) but he raised my nephew ever since he was three.

I think there are two major concerns when dealing with this subject... If the biological father is active in the child's life or if the biological father ain't nowhere to be found or only comes around once in a blue moon.

If the father is active... both men should have a sit down or phone conversation discussing each others position when it comes to parenting. That's a must. Respect is huge here. If you're the step dad and the childs father is active, it's a must you respect that man but let him know what you will and will not tolerate in your home.

Father is not active... then you need to do what you need to do to raise that child to the best of your ability. It's not the child's fault the father ain't around.

 

[LordSinister]

Any kid in my house is getting my discipline. That, or kick rocks to your crack head daddy.

 

[the_male_feminist]

I respect any man that is willing to raise or even help raise someone else seed...My brother is doing that shit now (step son is sort of grown now 22 and out his house) but he raised my nephew ever since he was three.

I think there are two major concerns when dealing with this subject... If the biological father is active in the child's life or if the biological father ain't nowhere to be found or only comes around once in a blue moon.

If the father is active... both men should have a sit down or phone conversation discussing each others position when it comes to parenting. That's a must. Respect is huge here. If you're the step dad and the childs father is active, it's a must you respect that man but let him know what you will and will not tolerate in your home.

Father is not active... then you need to do what you need to do to raise that child to the best of your ability. It's not the child's fault the father ain't around.

Do you think Omarion needs to have a sit down with Lil Fizz? Since his friend/bandmate is fucking his baby momma?




Only a real man can date a single mom.

 

[Eclipse99]

Do you think Omarion needs to have a sit down with Lil Fizz? Since his friend/bandmate is fucking his baby momma?




Only a real man can date a single mom.

Yes.

Take the emotions of fucking baby momas, friends, all that extra bullshit out of it... at the end of the day it's about the child. That child has nothing to do with all the bullshit the parents/adults are doing.

As men we should see pass all that and focus on the child. Have a conversation about the child and keep it respectful.

 

[lightbright]

"Is it ok to discipline step children w/out biological father's consent?"

Whaaaaaaaaat ….. no thread from your …. point of view ?
I'm outraged !!!

Is it ok to discipline step children w/out biological mother's consent?


.

 

[the_male_feminist]

Any kid in my house is getting my discipline. That, or kick rocks to your crack head daddy.

Chances are you living with her. Most single moms rather have their name on the lease because you cant kick them out cuz they got kids. So they more secure with their name on the lease.


With that being said, a real man would take care all her kids, pay all her bills & let the biological father discipline the child.

 

[kogalee-muhammad]

No it is not. If I had any kids, the only man whoopin their asses when they mess up, is ME.

 

[the_male_feminist]

"Is it ok to discipline step children w/out biological father's consent?"

Whaaaaaaaaat ….. no thread from your …. point of view ?

Is it ok to discipline step children w/out biological mother's consent?


.

Watch me work.

The mother is in the home already. So it is important to see it from the non custodial parent point of view

 

[chilibrick]

I respect any man that is willing to raise or even help raise someone else seed...My brother is doing that shit now (step son is sort of grown now 22 and out his house) but he raised my nephew ever since he was three.

I think there are two major concerns when dealing with this subject... If the biological father is active in the child's life or if the biological father ain't nowhere to be found or only comes around once in a blue moon.

If the father is active... both men should have a sit down or phone conversation discussing each others position when it comes to parenting. That's a must. Respect is huge here. If you're the step dad and the childs father is active, it's a must you respect that man but let him know what you will and will not tolerate in your home.

Father is not active... then you need to do what you need to do to raise that child to the best of your ability. It's not the child's fault the father ain't around.

this right here should ended the post.

 

[the_male_feminist]

Is thaa

No it is not. If I had any kids, the only man whoopin their asses when they mess up, is ME.

What no muslim garbage?

 

[kogalee-muhammad]

Is thaa

What no muslim garbage?

I ain't never talked no muslim garbage, you feminine male!

All Islamic teachings of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad I preach is the 100% pure TRUTH!

 

[bxclark]

That takes all the power away from the step parent that is in the house with them every day. How is a child going to respect a man that says "wait until I tell your father". Most people need immediate consequences to respect an authority figure.

To each his own. My kids are respectful so I don't ever think it would get to that point. I am on both sides of this situation. They can respect him without his ability to put his hands on them. To the other dudes point, that's not the only way to discipline. I've rarely had to discipline them to that extent and I would be damned if someone else does. Immediate consequences don't have to involve physical discipline.

 

[bxclark]

So that's proper punishment? Everyone has their own way of parenting, i know some of us brothers grew up getting that old fashioned ass whooping.

There are new ways of parenting though.




There are people that genuinely think this is ok parenting.

What i described as good discipline someone else might not agree. But apparently you have boundaries right? What if the person crosses those boundaries but doesn't do anything illegal?

If anyone ever had a kid they know that people will try to tell you how to raise your own kid.

Cause everyone parents differently. So if people will tell you how to raise your own child you know people will tell you how to raise their child if you step daddy to their child.

Ok no one can discipline your child but you. What if he decide to take away all his personal stuff that you bought him.

His x box, his jordans, gotta wear the same pair of shoes/boots. Takes away his allowance or anything he buys with it, takes away his cell phone computer and television......curfew.....

No x mas presents

The questions were geared toward physical punishment. I got beat for next to nothing as a child so I am not inclined to beat my kids. That said, my Dad always said... "if you don't hear, you will feel". He is right. Kids nowadays don't give a fuck about a bark. Sometimes a bite is the only option to get through and to teach them consequences. Ultimately every child is different and to each his own.

I could care less if he takes their shit away if he feels it's necessary. I believe that I cannot tell a man what to do in his house with the exception of putting his hands on my children who live there due to me no longer being with their mom.

I always hear someone say they want to have a sit down and talk to the non-biological parent. That person owes you nothing. The only thing I need to make clear is not to put his hands on my kids. If he feels that level of discipline is necessary, it their mom or my responsibility. Not his. Simple and plain. If he crosses that line, then it's me and him.

 

[34real]

Your house your rules and if you don't society will.

 

[Cross]

In that situation now. No one can put their hands on my children except me. If they are acting up he can verbally discipline but laying hands is off limits. It's different if I wasn't in their lives. If I was a deadbeat and not around then I could understand feeling the need to potentially take discipline to another level as long as their mom is comfortable.

I agree, discipline is one thing but when it comes to spanking that should be left to the biological parents to handle. I dated a woman with kids and I insisted that we sit down with the father and have an adult conversation about how to handle disciplining the kid and after a few rough patches we were in a good place their son hated it because whatever punishment he was on at our house was continued at the father's home.

 

[LordSinister]

Chances are you living with her. Most single moms rather have their name on the lease because you cant kick them out cuz they got kids. So they more secure with their name on the lease.


With that being said, a real man would take care all her kids, pay all her bills & let the biological father discipline the child.

I wish my stepson would have had the temerity to do some shit in my home and think only his biological could discipline him. A real woman respects the man who takes her and her children in as his own. Now I know for certain you're a confused young bird or a homosexual beta male.

Stepdad puts up the money and takes a back seat in his own home while your deadbeab baby daddy gets to be a father by proxy?

Your children will grow up to despise you once they meet real adult humans.

 

[power lord]

Some people confuse abuse with discipline if your child is living in another man's home and the man punch him in face for spilling something on the floor that's abuse but if gives him a couple of swats on his butt for for running through the living room and breaking a lamp after being told not to run in the living room that's different.

 

[gw1933]

Yet another reason I dont date single mothers

 

[spider705]

I told my ex and her new boyfriend flat out the day he puts hands on my children is the day he visits the coroner.

That's not his job. Ever.

 

[big enos burrnet]

manne you better beat them fucking bad ass kids...and dont you ever second guess yourself again either...

 

[LordSinister]

I told my ex and her new boyfriend flat out the day he puts hands on my children is the day he visits the coroner.

That's not his job. Ever.

That's cool and all, but if your kid is in the home I'm paying for and I'm feeding him and his mom and he breaks the rules he's getting punished. That, or I'll drop him off with you and he can't ever come to my house.

Your choice. No beef, but if you think your child can be in another man's home with diplomatic immunity well...

 

[papa_spank32]

"Fuck them kids"

-Kobe Bryant-

 

[the_male_feminist]

I wish my stepson would have had the temerity to do some shit in my home and think only his biological could discipline him. A real woman respects the man who takes her and her children in as his own. Now I know for certain you're a confused young bird or a homosexual beta male.

Stepdad puts up the money and takes a back seat in his own home while your deadbeab baby daddy gets to be a father by proxy?

Your children will grow up to despise you once they meet real adult humans.

Any household in which I as a non-custodial parent and paying for the roof over my child's head at another man's living in you better believe that I have some say in what that man does or doesn't. I pay child support I pay for that child to have lights over his head and you are occupying that space. You also are contributing to my bills so you better believe that I have say with my child let somebody whoop my child I wish they would