If a male friend invites you out to have a good time do you expect him to pay?

Thank you doggish - it's called being gentlemanly.


I would go out expecting to pay my own with my own money, but if it is not a group and just the two of you, it is the manly thing to do to treat the woman.

If it is the group thing, you go dutch...but the girl group rule the OP posted is correct.

I disagree. If it's a date, then I should pay because I'm asking you out in a different capacity. But if it's just a hang out type/platonic situation, you should bring your purse. I wouldn't pay for my male friend and I shouldn't pay for you.
 
I disagree. If it's a date, then I should pay because I'm asking you out in a different capacity. But if it's just a hang out type/platonic situation, you should bring your purse. I wouldn't pay for my male friend and I shouldn't pay for you.

you will never see a lot of close male/female friendships in comparioson to same sex friendships. They way some women view friendships is pretty much a sexless relationship.
 
you will never see a lot of close male/female friendships in comparioson to same sex friendships. They way some women view friendships is pretty much a sexless relationship.

That's natural but in the context of the OP, there's a difference between a guy asking a girl out on a date and a guy asking his female friend if she's interested in hanging out. If you don't have any money, the answer is "No" and then if he volunteers to treat, it's all good. But that should also be the way if works if the roles were reversed.
 
IMO this is a strange question. If I ask a lady out I'm paying since I asked her out. If she's asking me out that's a different story so it might be a dutch date. But if I'm doing the asking, I'm doing the paying, I see no other way.
 
IMO this is a strange question. If I ask a lady out I'm paying since I asked her out. If she's asking me out that's a different story so it might be a dutch date. But if I'm doing the asking, I'm doing the paying, I see no other way.

truth...
 
IMO this is a strange question. If I ask a lady out I'm paying since I asked her out. If she's asking me out that's a different story so it might be a dutch date. But if I'm doing the asking, I'm doing the paying, I see no other way.

I don't see that. I don't treat my female friends any differently than I do my male friends. I've never "asked them out" that implies a date, I've asked them if they were available to hang out, usually with something that we have a common interest in (wrestling, comic convention, whatever).
 
I was wondering where this thread popped up from...guess I got my answer.

But you arent out with your girls. Should he expect to handle things the way that guys handle things (which is dutch)?

You aren't the only gender. amazing...

I replied at least three times...was my answer not clear enough? Let's hear from the other men - who at least in my head because I could not explain myself fully TWO YEARS AGO - share the same sentiment:

Everyone should do what "works" for them.

But as a man, I hate women with a sense of entitlement. If we go out on a date the MERE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A VAGINA does not entitle to you a free meal................JUST AS ME HAVING A PENIS does not entitle me to anything from the woman on a date.

Money is not the issue.

In 2011 a woman should be "willing" to contribute to a date or getting to know the other person process.........just as much as the man.

I'm talking to sistas on here.... a good number say that it is hard for them individually to find a "good brother". But... then these same women PUT UP ALL SORTS OF ROADBLOCKS in the way of their own possible happiness.

Again its not about the money.

I've had women pay for the entire first date on multiple occasions.... BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO. This showed me that these females were "just as interested in getting to know me, as a I was getting to know them".

I disagree. If it's a date, then I should pay because I'm asking you out in a different capacity. But if it's just a hang out type/platonic situation, you should bring your purse. I wouldn't pay for my male friend and I shouldn't pay for you.

IMO this is a strange question. If I ask a lady out I'm paying since I asked her out. If she's asking me out that's a different story so it might be a dutch date. But if I'm doing the asking, I'm doing the paying, I see no other way.

Did that answer the question?
 
I was wondering where this thread popped up from...guess I got my answer.



I replied at least three timesi gave you 3 different questions....was my answer not clear enough? Let's hear from the other men - who at least in my head because I could not explain myself fully TWO YEARS AGO - share the same sentiment:







Did that answer the question?

Yes they do. But you dont.

You have yet to provide a reason why you wouldn't go dutch with a platonic malee friend but go dutch with a female friend. Saying "because we are female and that's how we socialize" does not explain why you expect him to pay. That could also be the way you socialize with your platonic male friend but you choose not to.

You saying "becaus we are female" is no different then someone explaining why they like basketball as "because it's a sport".
 
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Definition of Reason. This is what you fail to provide melopecan.


a sufficient ground of explanation or of logical defense; especially : something (as a principle or law) that supports a conclusion or explains a fact <the reasons behind her client's action>
 
Yes they do. But you dont.

You have yet to provide a reason why you wouldn't go dutch with a platonic malee friend but go dutch with a female friend. Saying "because we are female and that's how we socialize" does not explain why you expect him to pay. That could also be the way you socialize with your platonic male friend but you choose not to.

You saying "becaus we are female" is no different then someone explaining why they like basketball as "because it's a sport".


:lol::lol::lol:

Ok...

let me rephrase.


I would go dutch with a platonic male friend if the relationship had nowhere to go but platonic. The example in your original post stated the word 'date'...which in any case if my platonic friend wanted to go on a 'date' and not out for a bite to eat, please see my earlier responses.


Hope that helps!
 
:lol::lol::lol:

Ok...

let me rephrase.


I would go dutch with a platonic male friend if the relationship had nowhere to go but platonic. The example in your original post stated the word 'date'...which in any case if my platonic friend wanted to go on a 'date' and not out for a bite to eat, please see my earlier responses.


Hope that helps!

Ok well that makes more sense and your op makes more sense now. I quoted the word date because that's what the women i had asked said. Meaning the women percieved a male friend asking them out as a sly way to get a date without paying.
 
:lol::lol::lol:

Ok...

let me rephrase.

I would go dutch with a platonic male friend if the relationship had nowhere to go but platonic. The example in your original post stated the word 'date'...which in any case if my platonic friend wanted to go on a 'date' and not out for a bite to eat, please see my earlier responses.

Hope that helps!

Melonpecan,

What am I entitled to from a woman, simply because I am a man????
 
No longer in the dating game, but when i was, if i ask, I pay. If she asks, and i agree, i am prepared to pay just in case. She should offer to at least pay her own portion if she calls me up like....hey, let's go to Applebees, Chilis, etc. My rule is that I will pay for the first 2-3 dates tops.

If the thing isn't going anywhere after that and she still wants to go out, we go dutch. They were always briefed this in advance. Honestly, the whole dinner and a movie date thing is stale. I have had much more fun just talking over coffee in Starbucks for a couple dollars. The goal is to socialize and get to know each other.
 
Melonpecan,

What am I entitled to from a woman, simply because I am a man????

In the terms of going our for some grub, or in general?

For the sake of argument let's say in general:


Good convo
No bullshit
An open ear
A leaning shoulder

Note : goes both ways.



If you dating:
1 - see above
2 - if you out to eat, you can pick up the bill one time...she can the next...then you...then her...so on and so forth...I would think that's fair.


If you in that special place...
1 - see first list
2 - if you out to eat, there is no my and your money, it's our money. Argument has become moot.
3 - an occasional blowjob, old fashioned, and / or quickie just because.



If you need me to elaborate on an area I can, I wasn't quite sure which direction to take the answer to.
 
I see some are confused about dating dutch. Let's look at this and ask, why would a man expect a woman he's asking out to go dutch? You see a woman who really impresses you, now your going to approach her then ask her to go dutch? Most likely if she wanted to go dutch she could hang with her friends.

Lets be real most men ask women out in hope of establishing some type of relationship other than platonic. Now with that said your not going to impress many women dating dutch. If she's digging into her purse to help you pay for dinner, its unlikely you'll be digging in that ass, unless she sees you as her jump off. :hmm: The thing is the few dollars you save going dutch might make or break your chances with this woman. Going dutch might end you up in that dreaded "he's just a friend or he's like a brother to me zone." Either way you don't want to be there.
 
In the terms of going our for some grub, or in general?

For the sake of argument let's say in general:


Good convo
No bullshit
An open ear
A leaning shoulder

Note : goes both ways.



If you dating:
1 - see above
2 - if you out to eat, you can pick up the bill one time...she can the next...then you...then her...so on and so forth...I would think that's fair.


If you in that special place...
1 - see first list
2 - if you out to eat, there is no my and your money, it's our money. Argument has become moot.
3 - an occasional blowjob, old fashioned, and / or quickie just because.



If you need me to elaborate on an area I can, I wasn't quite sure which direction to take the answer to.

:confused::smh::confused::smh::eek::cool::smh:
 
Going dutch might end you up in that dreaded "he's just a friend or he's like a brother to me zone." Either way you don't want to be there.

:yes:
No woman likes a cheapskate. You don't have to lavish a woman with food and gifts but depending on the situation it says a lot about a persons character.


I don't know what you are talking about. I did not know the direction of my answer. It is a hodgepodge of feelings and beliefs, which is why I asked for specific clarification if anyone could not decipher it.

Save your :smh: for crazy women who like to bleed mens bank accounts dry.



Thank you! :D
 
I think it depends on how its stated lol... if a male friend asks me would I like to go hang out with them then I think he should pay cause he asked me out... but if a male friend says hey we should meet up for drinks or wateva then I dont really expect him to pay...
 
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