If a male friend invites you out to have a good time do you expect him to pay?

[Top_Bunk]

Why is it that if a female friend invites you somewhere ya'll pay for yourselves but if a male friend asks you out somewhere you expect him to pay for himself and you?

I was talking the other day with women and i couldn't find one woman that said she would pay for herself if the male friend asked her out.

Some of the reasons i heard was "he likes me and it's just his sly way of not wanting to pay for the date".

On the flipside they all said if girl(s) go out they pay for themselves. Unless it's a group of them and one is broke they all chip in.

EDIT*
you can stop avoiding the question "Why is it that if a female friend invites you somewhere ya'll pay for yourselves but if a male friend asks you out somewhere you expect him to pay for himself and you?" anytime now.

 

[BCAA2009]

If he is only a "Friend", then yes, she should pay her own way. The way things are nowadays, so many women are on that, "If he asks me out, he pays" bullshit that they are all just sitting around twiddling their thumbs waiting for a man to approach. Their excuses usually revolve around them saying things like "I don't want to come off as desperate" or they all of a sudden want to be traditional and say "The man asks the woman out" nonsense. Just friends means dutch. Dating means you pay for each other.

 

[doggish_098]

if a girl ask me to go out even if she offers i still pay and if i ask her to go out i shouldnt expect her to pay for herself.

 

[onyxfemme]

I never expect anyone to pay anything for me

 

[Adam Knows]

if you "ask" someone out why would you not pay?

that's pretty pathetic.

you ask them out with no intention of paying their way......

 

[melonpecan]

if a girl ask me to go out even if she offers i still pay and if i ask her to go out i shouldnt expect her to pay for herself.

Thank you doggish - it's called being gentlemanly.


I would go out expecting to pay my own with my own money, but if it is not a group and just the two of you, it is the manly thing to do to treat the woman.

If it is the group thing, you go dutch...but the girl group rule the OP posted is correct.

 

[swiftandsilent]

Thank you doggish - it's called being gentlemanly.


I would go out expecting to pay my own with my own money, but if it is not a group and just the two of you, it is the manly thing to do to treat the woman.

If it is the group thing, you go dutch...but the girl group rule the OP posted is correct.

Just wondering, can you describe the womanly thing since you already stated the manly thing?

 

[Crown&Coke]

I wouldnt ask a female to go out with me unless I was gonna pay. If she insists on paying then thats another story but usually if you ask a lady out then you should be paying.​

 

[swiftandsilent]

I wouldnt ask a female to go out with me unless I was gonna pay. If she insists on paying then thats another story but usually if you ask a lady out then you should be paying.​

I have to agree, but the fact that she wants to pay says a lot for her character. In these days and times of equality, no one person should carry the load all the time.

 

[melonpecan]

Just wondering, can you describe the womanly thing since you already stated the manly thing?

The womanly thing is to always offer - and accept (unless under some messed up circumstances and you don't want to give the wrong idea).


You see what should happen is the woman should offer to pay; the man should then take it upon himself to pay. The womanly thing to do is to accept his offer, (again, I say only if nothing arose that led the woman to think being with said man is a bad idea...you can learn some crazy stuff about a person over dinner).

Women need to learn how to accept a kind hand and be submissive sometimes without always being the dominant one in a relationship/social setting. But this is just my opinion.

 

[swiftandsilent]

The womanly thing is to always offer - and accept (unless under some messed up circumstances and you don't want to give the wrong idea).


You see what should happen is the woman should offer to pay; the man should then take it upon himself to pay. The womanly thing to do is to accept his offer, (again, I say only if nothing arose that led the woman to think being with said man is a bad idea...you can learn some crazy stuff about a person over dinner).

Women need to learn how to accept a kind hand and be submissive sometimes without always being the dominant one in a relationship/social setting. But this is just my opinion.

OK..

 

[doggish_098]

The womanly thing is to always offer - and accept (unless under some messed up circumstances and you don't want to give the wrong idea).


You see what should happen is the woman should offer to pay; the man should then take it upon himself to pay. The womanly thing to do is to accept his offer, (again, I say only if nothing arose that led the woman to think being with said man is a bad idea...you can learn some crazy stuff about a person over dinner).

Women need to learn how to accept a kind hand and be submissive sometimes without always being the dominant one in a relationship/social setting. But this is just my opinion.

so if you offer to pay and he accepts do you expect him to put out?

 

[Mrs.BCAA2009]

I never expected anyone to pay my way. I was raised to always be prepared to pay for myself, even on a date.

 

[Top_Bunk]

if you "ask" someone out why would you not pay?

that's pretty pathetic.

you ask them out with no intention of paying their way......

WTF. i'm a guy. Me and my nigga planning on going to see the pacman mayweather fight already. I dont remeber who suggested it. But what the hell i look like letting a nigga pay for me or me paying for a nigga to go to a sports bar?

The whole point of the thread which has been avoided is why do women expect male friends to pay but not their females friends to pay. Someone answer me that.

 

[BCAA2009]

WTF. i'm a guy. Me and my nigga planning on going to see the pacman mayweather fight already. I dont remeber who suggested it. But what the hell i look like letting a nigga pay for me or me paying for a nigga to go to a sports bar?

The whole point of the thread which has been avoided is why do women expect male friends to pay but not their females friends to pay. Someone answer me that.

good luck getting an honest answer from anyone concerning that.

 

[Top_Bunk]

good luck getting an honest answer from anyone concerning that.

The answer i got in my post was the closest thing to honest i got. chick at the work place told me he should pay because more then likely it will turn into a date or that it's just like a date.

Now i bet if a gay guy and a straight girl go out somewhere they going dutch.


Women dont ask men out....if they do they tell him to ask her out that way he technically is doing the asking out so technically he has to pay. EX: oh when you going to take me out?
Or: I sure would like to go to red lobster wouldn't you?
Guy: yeah wanna go?
her:yeah

Now he gotta pay because he technically asked her out. If this rule wasnt so abused i'd be down with it.

 

[BCAA2009]

The answer i got in my post was the closest thing to honest i got. chick at the work place told me he should pay because more then likely it will turn into a date or that it's just like a date.

Now i bet if a gay guy and a straight girl go out somewhere they going dutch.


Women dont ask men out....if they do they tell him to ask her out that way he technically is doing the asking out so technically he has to pay. EX: oh when you going to take me out?
Or: I sure would like to go to red lobster wouldn't you?
Guy: yeah wanna go?
her:yeah

Now he gotta pay because he technically asked her out. If this rule wasnt so abused i'd be down with it.

You right, it IS abused. But there is a way around it.

Girl: those cheddar biscuits at red lobster are good.
Guy: I bet
Girl: dont you wanna try em?
Guy: not really
Girl: oh....


presto!

 

[Mrs.BCAA2009]

The whole point of the thread which has been avoided is why do women expect male friends to pay but not their females friends to pay. Someone answer me that.

Easy. Social conditioning that says women are to be treated like a butterfly in the hollow of God's hand and all creation (read men) should bend at their command; whether they deserve it or not.

 

[PrettyToney]

Easy. Social conditioning that says women are to be treated like a butterfly in the hollow of God's hand and all creation (read men) should bend at their command; whether they deserve it or not.

I've got a general rule I subscribe to on paying for broads:

The first date will be CHEAP...there's a fish spot not too far from my house. U can get fish, fries, and a drink for $7.50. Don't get it twisted, I'm not a cheap ass nigga...but if we on the first date, chances are I don't know you from a whole in the wall, so why would I spend any substantial amount of money to entertain you when I don't know if this will work out or not? And if the broad really likes you, she won't care where u take her, so long as she's with you.

It's a recession, broads are out here hustlin too...broads have even told me that they've gone on dates with niggas that they didn't like just so they could get a free meal at a fancy spot. I'll spend money on a chick, but ONLY WHEN IT'S BEEN ESTABLISHED THAT SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO SPEND MONEY ON ME TOO.

 

[melonpecan]

so if you offer to pay and he accepts do you expect him to put out?

lol

Some women do...if it were me and I'm digging dude on that level, I'd just hope for a second date.

The whole point of the thread which has been avoided is why do women expect male friends to pay but not their females friends to pay.[Someone answer me that.

Well I told you if it were a group your original statement does apply. If it were two women, the reason why the woman doesn't pay for both is because...wait for it...






they women.


Unless two women go out and one proclaims that she has no money and the first female say "I got you", it is not understood that one female would pay both ways. This is just how it is. Such is life.

 

[charlie dark]

When your a man, sometimes you just have to do some manly type shit!
Paying for a female when you take her out is just one of those things!!!
Just like taking a piss, nothing stops you from sitting down to do it, but it's just not manly!!!!!

 

[Mrs.BCAA2009]

I didn't say it was right but it's true.

I've got a general rule I subscribe to on paying for broads:

The first date will be CHEAP...there's a fish spot not too far from my house. U can get fish, fries, and a drink for $7.50. Don't get it twisted, I'm not a cheap ass nigga...but if we on the first date, chances are I don't know you from a whole in the wall, so why would I spend any substantial amount of money to entertain you when I don't know if this will work out or not? And if the broad really likes you, she won't care where u take her, so long as she's with you.

It's a recession, broads are out here hustlin too...broads have even told me that they've gone on dates with niggas that they didn't like just so they could get a free meal at a fancy spot. I'll spend money on a chick, but ONLY WHEN IT'S BEEN ESTABLISHED THAT SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO SPEND MONEY ON ME TOO.

Prudent strategy you have.

 

[Cleopatra_J]

Just a male PLATONIC friend? I don't expect them to pay, but if they choose to, It's just the right thing to do. I was raised in a house where men paid & women didn't And even when I go out & expect to pay myself, guy friends usually offer to pay.. unless they broke, then everyone gotta pay for themselves..


Women, they all split because.. ..there is no real said reason.. it's just implied.

 

[Top_Bunk]

lol

Some women do...if it were me and I'm digging dude on that level, I'd just hope for a second date.



Well I told you if it were a group your original statement does apply. If it were two women, the reason why the woman doesn't pay for both is because...wait for it...






they women.


Unless two women go out and one proclaims that she has no money and the first female say "I got you", it is not understood that one female would pay both ways. This is just how it is. Such is life.

Please tell me you dont see the shallowness in your post.

What does being having a vagina have to do with rather or not your friend should pay for you if it asks you out or suggests for you to go somewhere?

Because your friend has a dick they should pay and you expect them to pay for you?
But if they have a pussy oh it's ok for everyone to split it......

As a man's man it's hard to look at that shit as anything other then weak ass game

 

[hsm2448]

thats why i dont mess with broke women.

if u follow that rule it will never be an issue.

 

[swiftandsilent]

thats why i dont mess with broke women.

if u follow that rule it will never be an issue.

Can't argue with this logic.

 

[Naha-Nago]

For the women...


It is not the right/honorable/gentlemen thing for a man to pay if YOU ask him out. It would be right/honorable/lady thing for you to do is pay his way if YOU asked him out.

That would be like asking a person over your house for dinner and expecting them to cook the meal.

Inviting someone out and then expecting them to pay your way as well is a sign of low character and grounds for getting cussed out.

Women long for equality until the check arrives..


*two cents*

 

[Top_Bunk]

For the women...


It is not the right/honorable/gentlemen thing for a man to pay if YOU ask him out. It would be right/honorable/lady thing for you to do is pay his way if YOU asked him out.

That would be like asking a person over your house for dinner and expecting them to cook the meal.

Inviting someone out and then expecting them to pay your way as well is a sign of low character and grounds for getting cussed out.

Women long for equality until the check arrives..


*two cents*

Who side are you on cuz im confused

 

[followup]

If a male friend asks me out on a date, I expect him to pay because he is the MAN. There are a lot of other things that I expect from a MAN that I would never do as the woman in the relationship (no I am not going to list them all out for yall to talk shit about). But don't expect to be the man of the house if you're not doing what you need to do.

If a male friend and I are just going to kick it, I pay my way and sometimes pay for both of us if I'm the one who set it up

 

[melonpecan]

Please tell me you dont see the shallowness in your post.

Sorry, I don't.

What does being having a vagina have to do with rather or not your friend should pay for you if it asks you out or suggests for you to go somewhere?

If you ask, you can pay- that is simple. But when it comes to your original question, I have stated my answer.

Because your friend has a dick they should pay and you expect them to pay for you?
But if they have a pussy oh it's ok for everyone to split it......

I don't expect any man to pay for anything that I need or want. I expect my ass to work and stack my own money and buy what I need or want myself. This is what I expect from me and nothing less. If a man wants to treat me, fine. If he wants to say it's on him and I have no problems with our relationship (he isn't a potential threat), that's fine. As far as splitting checks when it's a group of girls, it's the way women socialize. Sometimes we take the whole check, and next time someone else take the check, and so on. It can be different depending on the girls and the situation, but I'm sure there are similar references when it comes to groups that are all male...

As a man's man it's hard to look at that shit as anything other then weak ass game

If you thought what I posed was game, then I take back my previous statement.

For the women...


It is not the right/honorable/gentlemen thing for a man to pay if YOU ask him out. It would be right/honorable/lady thing for you to do is pay his way if YOU asked him out.

This started from the man asking out the woman.

And while I agree with you, dude would get mad cool points if he offered.



I think that is the thing some of you dudes aren't getting. Sometimes it's not about the paying, it's about offering. Same sex outings don't count- they have their own set of rules. But if two people who are or could be dating go out I stick by my previous assessment of the situation. If you could at least offer, I bet the girl would pay for more meals with no hesitation. Socializing is a damn two way street; just cause you ask don't mean you have to take on everything.

 

[LoneStar29]

I never expect anyone to pay anything for me

I never expected anyone to pay my way. I was raised to always be prepared to pay for myself, even on a date.

/thread

I will never order anything I don't have the money to pay for in my own wallet ... anybody who wants to treat me I see it as a bonus, I do not expect it ever ... but more times than not the guy offers to pay especially my guy friends they wont let me pay for nothing hardly

 

[KATDADDY]

If I Have A Coupons

 

[Top_Bunk]

Sorry, I don't.





I don't expect any man to pay for anything that I need or want. I expect my ass to work and stack my own money and buy what I need or want myself. This is what I expect from me and nothing less. If a man wants to treat me, fine. If he wants to say it's on him and I have no problems with our relationship (he isn't a potential threat), that's fine. As far as splitting checks when it's a group of girls, it's the way women socialize. Sometimes we take the whole check, and next time someone else take the check, and so on. It can be different depending on the girls and the situation, but I'm sure there are similar references when it comes to groups that are all male...

But you arent out with your girls. Should he expect to handle things the way that guys handle things (which is dutch)?

You aren't the only gender. amazing...

 

[playaman5]

I've got a general rule I subscribe to on paying for broads:

The first date will be CHEAP...there's a fish spot not too far from my house. U can get fish, fries, and a drink for $7.50. Don't get it twisted, I'm not a cheap ass nigga...but if we on the first date, chances are I don't know you from a whole in the wall, so why would I spend any substantial amount of money to entertain you when I don't know if this will work out or not? And if the broad really likes you, she won't care where u take her, so long as she's with you.

It's a recession, broads are out here hustlin too...broads have even told me that they've gone on dates with niggas that they didn't like just so they could get a free meal at a fancy spot. I'll spend money on a chick, but ONLY WHEN IT'S BEEN ESTABLISHED THAT SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO SPEND MONEY ON ME TOO.

Well said bro!!!

 

[DiamondDeuce]

Everyone should do what "works" for them.

But as a man, I hate women with a sense of entitlement. If we go out on a date the MERE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A VAGINA does not entitle to you a free meal................JUST AS ME HAVING A PENIS does not entitle me to anything from the woman on a date.

Money is not the issue.

In 2011 a woman should be "willing" to contribute to a date or getting to know the other person process.........just as much as the man.

I'm talking to sistas on here.... a good number say that it is hard for them individually to find a "good brother". But... then these same women PUT UP ALL SORTS OF ROADBLOCKS in the way of their own possible happiness.

Again its not about the money.

I've had women pay for the entire first date on multiple occasions.... BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO. This showed me that these females were "just as interested in getting to know me, as a I was getting to know them".