I See Why Black Women Hide Behind Weaves and Perms. & It's Real Deep

[Cinamiss]

I wrote this while I was at work trying to make myself feel better.

For some time now. I’ve been growing out my natural hair. I’ve been hiding it under braids and weaves while in my transition. I see some length in it so I finally got up the nerve to wear it out. I went to work with mixed emotions. In one thought, I’m so proud of myself for going this long without putting any chemicals in my hair & taking out the the fake hair. In my other thoughts I’m skeptical about it being socially acceptable.
Anyway to make a long story short. When I went to work, I heard snickers all day. As the day progressed, it just got worse. I caught people making faces behind my back. And I overheard them laughing at me. Some people that usually speak would not even look at me. They stared at me and I felt like I was the joke of the day. By the end of the day I was even contemplating on buying a textur-izer. True story..............
With that said. I understand why black women hide behind weaves and perms. Because they try to make you hate yourself and who you are in your natural state. I also realized that you have to be a really strong female to wear naked virgin hair in this day and age.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

Ah fuck them haters.

Do you. People always hate what they don't understand or can't comprehend. No one could understand why a woman wouldn't want to process their hare. I have no problem with it either way as long as you can make it look good.

 

[yureeka9]

Its good to see a black woman that's awake. I hope you infect your sisters with the same mindset.

 

[ladyscorpio]

Cinnamiss here are my thoughts. As a natural sista I have learned it takes confidence and self knowledge to be able to deal with the naysayers. From what you are saying here your level of esteem is not up to the level where you really don't give a care what others think. Sista if you want to be natural you have to walk and talk like you own it. You doubted you own vibe therefore others doubted it as well.

Do NOT let anyone tear you down.



Peace

 

[Big Preme]

I would type some shit about inner strength and confidence but I don't feel like it so just listen to this a few times until you feel better;


[FLASH]http://www.youtube.com/v/bZd1KeZhjfU[/FLASH]​

 

[305slugga]

From a Male prespective.......a lot of men prefer to have a woman with natural hair than weave. You let that natural look do you and fuck what all them other females think bout you. They are the ones having to hide behind that weave to look good and try and attract some attention.

 

[Cinamiss]

Cinnamiss here are my thoughts. As a natural sista I have learned it takes confidence and self knowledge to be able to deal with the naysayers. From what you are saying here your level of esteem is not up to the level where you really don't give a care what others think. Sista if you want to be natural you have to walk and talk like you own it. You doubted you own vibe therefore others doubted it as well.

Do NOT let anyone tear you down.



Peace

Sad to say, but this is my first time being natural since I was a child. This is all really new to me and I wasn't prepared for the reactions that I would get. You are so right I need to own it. I need to have the same confidence I had when I would just get a brand new weave. I could act like I don't care but inside I just got so angry.

 

[followup]

Well all I can say is that if you don't put harsh chemicals in your hair or wear weave you are going to have some "bad" hair days. Comes with the territory. Just be comfortable with how you look and forget the nay sayers. And there is nothing wrong with a weave if you want to change your style up or wait until your hair gets to the length you want

 

[Harlem's Angel]

If you had walked into that office with the proper level on confidence you could have been 500 lbs wearing a pink sweatsuit and no one could've said shit to you.


...Ok so not exactly to that extent but you know what I meant. Get that confidence level up and the respect will come.

Oh and how was the style you were wearing? Maybe it wasn't the natural hair, maybe the style didnt work for you....

 

[Mad Boma]

stopped talking? snickers? where you work, 6th grade?

 

[Cinamiss]

If you had walked into that office with the proper level on confidence you could have been 500 lbs wearing a pink sweatsuit and no one could've said shit to you.


...Ok so not exactly to that extent but you know what I meant. Get that confidence level up and the respect will come.

Oh and how was the style you were wearing? Maybe it wasn't the natural hair, maybe the style didnt work for you....

I had a puff with a headband on. like the last pic in this video

http://youtube.com/watch?v=z6y7pW-ZhRg

 

[Cinamiss]

stopped talking? snickers? where you work, 6th grade?

That's what it felt like

 

[Harlem's Angel]

That's you in the vid? That last style looked damn good. hmm I dunno bout ur coworkers man...

I have to say though. You gave me hope that I could do it too lol... Maybe after the wedding. dont wanna make any sudden moves before!

 

[Cinamiss]

That's you in the vid? That last style looked damn good. hmm I dunno bout ur coworkers man...

I have to say though. You gave me hope that I could do it too lol... Maybe after the wedding. dont wanna make any sudden moves before!

No thats not me in the video but that is the style I had. I just watch those videos for inspiration. It's easier when you see other black women doing what your trying to do. heres another good one
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-UWyiVmWalw

 

[melonpecan]

Fuck dem bitches.

I been trying to get my hair back to how it was to wear it natural. The most wonderful thing ever. If people can't accept that shit, fuck em. Only you need to accept what you got.

 

[onyxfemme]

If you would have walked in confident....Everyone would have been trying to rock the same do.
What kind of work do you do?

 

[Harlem's Angel]

No thats not me in the video but that is the style I had. I just watch those videos for inspiration. It's easier when you see other black women doing what your trying to do. heres another good one
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-UWyiVmWalw

Oh man! I'm seriously second thinking this now..... So how do you take care of it on a daily basis? How different will it be from taking out a wrap and putting in a part every morning?

 

[Digital Angel]

I wish a nicca would laugh at me in my face or behind my back... I have naturally curly hair that tends to work well in a natural style. but if my shit was nappy I'd rock that hairdo and not think twice about it. I bet it was some hating ass broads that were laughing who were afraid to wear their own hair to work.

 

[Cinamiss]

I wish a nicca would laugh at me in my face or behind my back... I have naturally curly hair that tends to work well in a natural style. but if my shit was nappy I'd rock that hairdo and not think twice about it. I bet it was some hating ass broads that were laughing who were afraid to wear their own hair to work.

Actually, they were puerto rican, philipino dominicans, indians & whites.
The black people didn't really say nothing they kind of just stared at me.

And you know what gets me. They talk about black women if we wear a weave. They say why do you wear fake hair and they think we want to be like them that's why we straighten our hair. And then they act like that when we wear our own hair. In my eyes me wearing my natural hair says NO I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE YOU AND I AM NOT ASHAMED OF WHO I AM. And so now i'm a threat & they don't feel like they have anything over me. That's why they laughed at me because they lost that little thing they had over me and now they are really the insecure ones. They think I don't know they put shit in their hair to.

I'ts deeper than you think. I know that they feel superior to me when I have a weave in. They don't think it's nice they think you look stupid and you are trying to imitate them. Once I realized that then I knew it was time for a change.

 

[Cinamiss]

Oh man! I'm seriously second thinking this now..... So how do you take care of it on a daily basis? How different will it be from taking out a wrap and putting in a part every morning?

Go to youtube and type in natural hair. You will get so much information, tutorials, and ideas from it. GoodLuck & Welcome Home

 

[Cinamiss]

If you would have walked in confident....Everyone would have been trying to rock the same do.
What kind of work do you do?

I doubt it.
In there eyes there are not enough of us wearing this for it to be cool.
Instead they try to make you feel like you have made a bad choice.
In the 70's even white people tried to have afros because everybody was wearing it so it was cool.
And the sense of black pride was strong. That's not what is going on today. I work in a very diverse enviroment with many different races.

 

[Cinamiss]

Its good to see a black woman that's awake. I hope you infect your sisters with the same mindset.

You know what scares me the most is the end results of perms.
I'm talking about older black women in their 40's & 50's needing hair transplants. They are going bald from all of the perms they have put in their heads over the years. You may not see it because they are still hididng it under wigs and weaves.

 

[LoneStar29]

To the OP ... girl I feel you 100% on this tipWhen I first started growing my hair out natural I got CLOWNED by almost everybody. I never put a weave in while it was growing I just used to have my homegirl braid it for me ... now this was before the video hoes made braids on a woman cool so the boys told me I looked like a boy ... asking me what happened to my "nice straight hair"and these were Black men making these commentsThen when my natural hair grew to a certain length I cut my permed hair off and just rocked a short curly do ... oh boy ... this lady told me never to leave my house like that ... my girls would laugh at me ... but I had a bigger picture in my head so I just took it and chilled

Fast forward over 10 years later and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall I hear now is "OMG ... your hair is so beautiful" from all that showed hate before ... I aways remind them "remember when you used to clown me?" ... lol ... moral of the story is DO YOU CUZ AT THE END OF THE DAY IT WILL PAY OFF

 

[Mo-Better]

Cinnamiss here are my thoughts. As a natural sista I have learned it takes confidence and self knowledge to be able to deal with the naysayers. From what you are saying here your level of esteem is not up to the level where you really don't give a care what others think. Sista if you want to be natural you have to walk and talk like you own it. You doubted you own vibe therefore others doubted it as well.

Do NOT let anyone tear you down.



Peace

Don't let others dictate who you are or what you look like. It's your life and your decision. If your still confused about your decision then heed the words of Ladyscorpio, she's right on target with her view.

 

[gonzo8402]

I wrote this while I was at work trying to make myself feel better.

For some time now. I’ve been growing out my natural hair. I’ve been hiding it under braids and weaves while in my transition. I see some length in it so I finally got up the nerve to wear it out. I went to work with mixed emotions. In one thought, I’m so proud of myself for going this long without putting any chemicals in my hair & taking out the the fake hair. In my other thoughts I’m skeptical about it being socially acceptable.
Anyway to make a long story short. When I went to work, I heard snickers all day. As the day progressed, it just got worse. I caught people making faces behind my back. And I overheard them laughing at me. Some people that usually speak would not even look at me. They stared at me and I felt like I was the joke of the day. By the end of the day I was even contemplating on buying a textur-izer. True story..............
With that said. I understand why black women hide behind weaves and perms. Because they try to make you hate yourself and who you are in your natural state. I also realized that you have to be a really strong female to wear naked virgin hair in this day and age.

post a link

maybe your hair was just lookin wack

To the OP ... girl I feel you 100% on this tipWhen I first started growing my hair out natural I got CLOWNED by almost everybody. I never put a weave in while it was growing I just used to have my homegirl braid it for me ... now this was before the video hoes made braids on a woman cool so the boys told me I looked like a boy ... asking me what happened to my "nice straight hair"and these were Black men making these commentsThen when my natural hair grew to a certain length I cut my permed hair off and just rocked a short curly do ... oh boy ... this lady told me never to leave my house like that ... my girls would laugh at me ... but I had a bigger picture in my head so I just took it and chilled

Fast forward over 10 years later and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall I hear now is "OMG ... your hair is so beautiful" from all that showed hate before ... I aways remind them "remember when you used to clown me?" ... lol ... moral of the story is DO YOU CUZ AT THE END OF THE DAY IT WILL PAY OFF

That's what I'm sayin'. It probably looks like something to be made fun of. In time, when it's hot, people will compliment it

 

[Iron]

And you know what gets me. They talk about black women if we wear a weave. They say why do you wear fake hair and they think we want to be like them that's why we straighten our hair. And then they act like that when we wear our own hair. In my eyes me wearing my natural hair says NO I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE YOU AND I AM NOT ASHAMED OF WHO I AM. And so now i'm a threat & they don't feel like they have anything over me. That's why they laughed at me because they lost that little thing they had over me and now they are really the insecure ones. They think I don't know they put shit in their hair to.

I'am glad that you wrote this.
I think that this is what it ultimately breaks down to.
Top it off with ignorance,immaturity and not having any manners.
Why would you laugh at a women wearing her hair out?
Probably because you looked so much more comfortable than what you normally do.
when I see women with natural hair they give off a warm healthy and intelligent feeling.
They look royal, worldy, and much more approachable.

To the OP ... girl I feel you 100% on this tipWhen I first started growing my hair out natural I got CLOWNED by almost everybody. I never put a weave in while it was growing I just used to have my homegirl braid it for me ... now this was before the video hoes made braids on a woman cool so the boys told me I looked like a boy ... asking me what happened to my "nice straight hair"and these were Black men making these commentsThen when my natural hair grew to a certain length I cut my permed hair off and just rocked a short curly do ... oh boy ... this lady told me never to leave my house like that ... my girls would laugh at me ... but I had a bigger picture in my head so I just took it and chilled

Fast forward over 10 years later and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall I hear now is "OMG ... your hair is so beautiful" from all that showed hate before ... I aways remind them "remember when you used to clown me?" ... lol ... moral of the story is DO YOU CUZ AT THE END OF THE DAY IT WILL PAY OFF

That's crazy lone.


you have pretty hair no matter what lenght it is.

I love women with short hair cuts.

My best friend and my g/f used to keep their hair short and pin curled for me.

 

[Harlem's Angel]

Go to youtube and type in natural hair. You will get so much information, tutorials, and ideas from it. GoodLuck & Welcome Home

You're my new best friend

 

[Harlem's Angel]

You know what scares me the most is the end results of perms.
I'm talking about older black women in their 40's & 50's needing hair transplants. They are going bald from all of the perms they have put in their heads over the years. You may not see it because they are still hididng it under wigs and weaves.

My mom
Her hair is thining in the front and we have no idea what to do with it.

 

[ladyscorpio]

I doubt it.
In there eyes there are not enough of us wearing this for it to be cool.
Instead they try to make you feel like you have made a bad choice.
In the 70's even white people tried to have afros because everybody was wearing it so it was cool.
And the sense of black pride was strong. That's not what is going on today. I work in a very diverse enviroment with many different races.

listen sis Onyx told you the same thing I did but in shorter form. you yourself agreed with me. You put it out there that you were uncomfortable with your look and people naturally pick up on these things. No one can make you feel anything about yourself that you are not already feeling.

Again I will reiterate this for you. Be proud of yourself. Be happy with you and no matter how many jeers you get you will NOT be phased. You are the only one who can take anything away from you.
Hold yourself dignified and strong.



Peace

 

[LoneStar29]

You're my new best friend

 

[Cinamiss]

listen sis Onyx told you the same thing I did but in shorter form. you yourself agreed with me. You put it out there that you were uncomfortable with your look and people naturally pick up on these things. No one can make you feel anything about yourself that you are not already feeling.

Again I will reiterate this for you. Be proud of yourself. Be happy with you and no matter how many jeers you get you will NOT be phased. You are the only one who can take anything away from you.
Hold yourself dignified and strong.



Peace

Yeah i did agree with you. I should have owned it but i doubt that they will try to rock the same hairdo. I already explained why

I DO NOT CLAIM TO BE PERFECT

Honestly, this thread is not really about confidence or self esteem because I know who I am. & If i had no confidence I would not even wear it out. As far as I'm concerned that took a lot of nerve. I'm just sharing my experience on what happened to me and I'm just saying I understand why black women hide behind weaves and perms because of these types of situations that occur.

 

[Cinamiss]

To the OP ... girl I feel you 100% on this tipWhen I first started growing my hair out natural I got CLOWNED by almost everybody. I never put a weave in while it was growing I just used to have my homegirl braid it for me ... now this was before the video hoes made braids on a woman cool so the boys told me I looked like a boy ... asking me what happened to my "nice straight hair"and these were Black men making these commentsThen when my natural hair grew to a certain length I cut my permed hair off and just rocked a short curly do ... oh boy ... this lady told me never to leave my house like that ... my girls would laugh at me ... but I had a bigger picture in my head so I just took it and chilled

Fast forward over 10 years later and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall I hear now is "OMG ... your hair is so beautiful" from all that showed hate before ... I aways remind them "remember when you used to clown me?" ... lol ... moral of the story is DO YOU CUZ AT THE END OF THE DAY IT WILL PAY OFF

lOOKING FORWARD TO IT

 

[Cinamiss]

post a link

maybe your hair was just lookin wack





That's what I'm sayin'. It probably looks like something to be made fun of. In time, when it's hot, people will compliment it

yEAH KINKY HAIR IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE MADE FUN OF its wack

 

[Upgrade Dave]

I wrote this while I was at work trying to make myself feel better.

For some time now. I’ve been growing out my natural hair. I’ve been hiding it under braids and weaves while in my transition. I see some length in it so I finally got up the nerve to wear it out. I went to work with mixed emotions. In one thought, I’m so proud of myself for going this long without putting any chemicals in my hair & taking out the the fake hair. In my other thoughts I’m skeptical about it being socially acceptable.
Anyway to make a long story short. When I went to work, I heard snickers all day. As the day progressed, it just got worse. I caught people making faces behind my back. And I overheard them laughing at me. Some people that usually speak would not even look at me. They stared at me and I felt like I was the joke of the day. By the end of the day I was even contemplating on buying a textur-izer. True story..............
With that said. I understand why black women hide behind weaves and perms. Because they try to make you hate yourself and who you are in your natural state. I also realized that you have to be a really strong female to wear naked virgin hair in this day and age.

Good for you for wearing your hair in a style of your own choosing.
But damn, what kind of slaves do you work with? I see women who wear their hair in more natural styles in my workplace everyday and I'm in the heart of the most conservative, button-down, corporate city in the South (Charlotte).
It's sad that you got that type of response at all.



Now if it wasn't cute, that's different.

 

[alyric]

Yeah i did agree with you. I should have owned it but i doubt that they will try to rock the same hairdo. I already explained why

I'm natural but I don't hate on sistas who use chemicals. I hate on sistas who continue to make unhealthy choices for their hair.

and I guarantee you that there is somebody that has seen what you've done and she is now thinking of a healthier choice