I just don't get it (female issues).

[WattDogs]

I have a little situation and wanted some advice from the ladies up here. Hopefully, you guys can help. BTW, it might be a little long, but I do appreciate any comments made.

Alright, I have a female friend who I've known since 7. I've always had a thing for her so when I came home from San Diego, I let her know. She wasn't feeling me in that way but we became good friends, even wound up working at the same job together. I tried off & on to get with her over the years but it was always a no-go.

About 3 years ago, I wound up hooking up with one of her friends (no help from her but I met the girl through her), who is still my GF to this day. Since that day, my female friend (let's call her Ann) has nothing but hatred, commentary & snide comments to say about my GF. There is no love lost between my GF & her either, but that comes from a situation in the past that has nothing to do with me. However, my GF doesn't care or comment about her at all.

Earlier this week, another one of her friends (let's call her Renee) called me, just to talk (I'm cool with everybody) and mentioned that she wanted to hang out sometime this weekend and for me to call her. When I told Ann (on some let's plan to do something...the whole gang), she flipped out, telling me that its wrong for me to try and get with the girl, that I was doing my GF wrong, and on and on. It was really strange because all I said is that I needed to call Renee back. That's it.

Later on, Ann continued to complain, stating that she doesn't think it's a good idea to hang out with any of her friends if I have a girl. I told Ann that if that was the case, then I shouldn't hang out with her, being that I had a thing for her. She then stated that she doesn't think that it's a good idea for me to get with any more of her friends, since I have a habit of telling her business (which is a story in and of itself. Long story short, Ann was telling my GF & her friends an assortment of lies about me & the girls themselves and when they all stopped talking, it came out. I basically verified info I heard & wound up, along with almost everyone, cursing Ann's ass out about her lies).

We wound up getting into an argument. I stopped once I realized that this girl is crazy.

So, guys, help me out. What do y'all think is wrong with her? I'm confused. It can't be jealousy, because she could've been with me way before my current GF. I don't think that its because she doesn't want me to hook up with one of her friends because when my GF & I were going through a rough patch, she was the first person trying to get me with one of her friends. BTW, she considers me her best friend.

But seriously, let me know what y'all think. Sorry for this being so long and if you need any clarification of any issues you read, just let me know.

Appreciate the help, family.

 

[cameo]

Women change by the minute, it's fuckin unreal. Basically she didn't think you was on her level, but seeing her friend glow with happiness, is killing her mentally. She's saying to herself " damn, I was being a bitch, and now my friend got him" all kinds of shit, so her defense is to hate on it, because it wasn't "suppose" to work out like that. You were suppose to be a nobody, and she wanted to play her games, you moved on too fast, and scooped her friend, and that wasn't the game plan.

When you snooze, you lose.

 

[WattDogs]

Women change by the minute, it's fuckin unreal. Basically she didn't think you was on her level, but seeing her friend glow with happiness, is killing her mentally. She's saying to herself " damn, I was being a bitch, and now my friend got him" all kinds of shit, so her defense is to hate on it, because it wasn't "suppose" to work out like that. You were suppose to be a nobody, and she wanted to play her games, you moved on too fast, and scooped her friend, and that wasn't the game plan.

When you snooze, you lose.

I didn't really think of it in this fashion. I was more along the lines of that she was back to lying on me to her other friends. I assumed that Renee actually liked me and that's why Ann flipped. She told those lies before (and more than likely afterwards) to keep them away from me. My question in this line of thought would be...why? It goes back to the fact that she had me. I'm telling you, she HAD me. I was hers.

However, I see your point as well. It's just hard for me to wrap around for a person who has known me basically most her life.

Thanks for the advice. It is appreciated.

 

[femmenoire]

She's being a baby.

It's like the spoiled brat who throws away their toys but get mad when you give it to another child.

Good thing she saved you the drama.

 

[Eva Hornae]

homegirl, didn't know what she had until it's gone!

 

[melonpecan]

She like you.


Women are weird.

 

[WattDogs]

She's being a baby.

It's like the spoiled brat who throws away their toys but get mad when you give it to another child.

Good thing she saved you the drama.

It's funny that you say that, Femme.

She is mad possessive about me& quite the attention queen. Sometimes I just look at he like she's half-crazy.l

 

[femmenoire]

It's funny that you say that, Femme.

She is mad possessive about me& quite the attention queen. Sometimes I just look at he like she's half-crazy.l

Believe me sweetie, she did you a favor by turning you down. Sick thing is, she probably knows it and hates herself for it. And it's making her uglier and uglier.

She needs to "be gone"!

 

[Harlem's Angel]

She's being immature. She played games until you found someone else and now she feels stupid for letting you go. She wants you.

 

[BrownTurd]

You did two things wrong. You and Ann are best friends. You didn't realize that by talking to any of her friends puts a strain on her relationship with you and her friends. When ever anything happens in your relationship she will ALWAYS be caught in between. If she consults you she would be considered hating on her girlfriend. If she consults her girl friend she would be considered hating on you. She will take heat from both sides. Ann also knows her girl friend better then you. She knows all the dicks her girl friend sucked and the men she fucked and the cum she swallowed and all the lies she has told. (sorry to be graphic just making a point)Ann just like any friend wants the best for you. This is were you really messed up you wrote:

Ann was telling my GF & her friends an assortment of lies about me & the girls themselves and when they all stopped talking, it came out. I basically verified info I heard & wound up, along with almost everyone, cursing Ann's ass out about her lies).

You NEVER place your best friend in between any of your relationships. What you did in this situation is TOOK SIDES. Now you are calling your best friend since 7 a lier. I feel Ann will always have your best interest in mind even if it means sacrificing her relationships with her girl friends. Ann knows how her Girl Friends truly are..and you don't. Ann is probably telling you the truth she has zero reason to lie because the fact of the matter is she can have you if she wanted to. To take your girl friends word over Ann's is silly as hell homey. She probably his keeping them away from you because they aint about shit. I think Ann's love for you is greater then the love for her girl friends. I bet 100% that Ann was not lying. You choose to believe what you wanted to.

When you began to takes sides you hurt Ann. She is lashing out at you because of what she is feeling emotionally. Her feelings are that she has been there for you always and has been the one person that has always supported you in time of need. She is one of the few people that love you for the person you truly are. She has been there through all your trials and tribulations as well as your achievements. You should have NEVER had a conversation about your GF and Ann...NEVER. If they got into a conflict then you should always stay out and don't take sides. Listen to what they have to say but don't take sides.

Is losing your best friend of 7 years worth some chick? GF come and go friends last forever. It is obvious you care for Ann and she might generally care for you as well. Ann probably has always cared for you but the timing was just not right. Sometimes it takes trials and tribulations in order for a person to realize that the one thing they been searching for was already in front of them.

 

[HALO2]

 

[doggish_098]

i stopped reading after the first sentence i have a female friend i have a thing for... dude that is not your female friend that is a chick you havent fucked yet. Stop trying to fuck your female friends things are always going to get messed up. Damn she going to hook you up with her friends anyway.

 

[absolutvodka]

fuck all three of them bitches on the same day.

 

[WattDogs]

She like you.


Women are weird.

Women are emotional, that's how I see it.

However, I always suspected that she liked me as much I liked her but something was stopping her. However, I never had a chance to see if that was true or not.

Something to think about. Thanks for the commentary.

 

[WattDogs]

You did two things wrong. You and Ann are best friends.

Well, BT ( I refuse to call you your full name), I really never considered her that, just a good friend. About a year & a half ago, when I proposed to my GF, Ann decided to make herself my BFF. Over time, I just let it ride, cause like I said, we are close. I do now consider her my BFF but I'm suspicious of the reasons why, given the moment and timing.

You didn't realize that by talking to any of her friends puts a strain on her relationship with you and her friends.

Then why try to hook me up with friends before, during and until this incident, a few weeks ago?

When ever anything happens in your relationship she will ALWAYS be caught in between. If she consults you she would be considered hating on her girlfriend. If she consults her girl friend she would be considered hating on you. She will take heat from both sides.

Although that makes sense, that's not how I am. I usually listen to both sides and most times I try to compromise a solution. I hate conflict so if I can resolve it, then I will. I don't pre-judge anything. And I've been this way since I was a child.

Ann also knows her girl friend better then you. She knows all the dicks her girl friend sucked and the men she fucked and the cum she swallowed and all the lies she has told. (sorry to be graphic just making a point)Ann just like any friend wants the best for you.

This is were you really messed up you wrote:

Ann was telling my GF & her friends an assortment of lies about me & the girls themselves and when they all stopped talking, it came out. I basically verified info I heard & wound up, along with almost everyone, cursing Ann's ass out about her lies).

I agree with this also. However, why wouldn't the reverse be true? Also, let me add that the stories that my GF told me were verified as true by Ann & other parties that were witnesses. Ann's stories, on the other hand, are not. And if she wants the best for me, why act in this childish way? Why not give it to me straight (like she always does usually. She's usually very, very blunt)?

You NEVER place your best friend in between any of your relationships. What you did in this situation is TOOK SIDES. Now you are calling your best friend since 7 a lier.

Actually, I've known her since she was 7. We've been best friends for about 2 years now. Before that, close friends after my failures trying to get with her.

I feel Ann will always have your best interest in mind even if it means sacrificing her relationships with her girl friends. Ann knows how her Girl Friends truly are..and you don't. Ann is probably telling you the truth she has zero reason to lie because the fact of the matter is she can have you if she wanted to. To take your girl friends word over Ann's is silly as hell homey. She probably his keeping them away from you because they aint about shit. I think Ann's love for you is greater then the love for her girl friends. I bet 100% that Ann was not lying. You choose to believe what you wanted to.

I truly believe that Ann wants the best for me, but in the past, if there was something that she didn't like, she would just pull me to the side and tell me, straight up. She can't have me like that anymore, that was when I was trying to get with her. I'm a faithful dude so cheating is almost a impossiblity. As for my GF, she's doing good things with her life (no details, private life is private life) & is good to me in all ways. I didn't take anyone's word, I verified with different parties. Once I found out that I was being lied on, I then questioned the stories I was told. Those stories were also found to be lies as well.

When you began to takes sides you hurt Ann. She is lashing out at you because of what she is feeling emotionally. Her feelings are that she has been there for you always and has been the one person that has always supported you in time of need. She is one of the few people that love you for the person you truly are. She has been there through all your trials and tribulations as well as your achievements. You should have NEVER had a conversation about your GF and Ann...NEVER. If they got into a conflict then you should always stay out and don't take sides. Listen to what they have to say but don't take sides.

BT, you kinda went on a tangent that's not there, bruh. That whole paragraph is not true. The reasons are up above from me. Not ignoring what you said, cause you are speaking truth, but it doesn't apply to me like that.

Is losing your best friend of 7 years worth some chick? GF come and go friends last forever. It is obvious you care for Ann and she might generally care for you as well. Ann probably has always cared for you but the timing was just not right. Sometimes it takes trials and tribulations in order for a person to realize that the one thing they been searching for was already in front of them.

Why does it take THIS one for her to realize this, if this is the truth of the matter? I've been home for about 7 years now, and in the first 5 of those years, I was attempting to get with this girl. Nothing at all has changed. I've had GFs before that she had no prob with. Why this one? As for her friends, I was supposed to be with another one before I met my current GF. She was wholeheartedly for that to work out.

BT, I appreciate you taking your time out to help me out. Please continue if you can add more to what I've written.

 

[WattDogs]

i stopped reading after the first sentence i have a female friend i have a thing for... dude that is not your female friend that is a chick you havent fucked yet. Stop trying to fuck your female friends things are always going to get messed up. Damn she going to hook you up with her friends anyway.

Nah, we got history. I consider her a dear friend. Don't get me wrong, I would love to tear her back out RIGHT NOW! but things aren't that way anymore.

I did stop. Right after that, me and my GF started getting hot & heavy. Now it's been 3 years+.

And the strangest part is that almost all of my exes were my friends first. I don't know about that "no fucking your female friends" part.