Got into three situations with women and their men, never with my woman. But here is a story of the craziest of the three.
Wife one, some African chick on my job told me to come over to her place to smash, telling me she and her husband broke up and moved on.
What a big lie, dude came to the crib right before I took off my clothes when she told me to hide in some room, where there was nothing and no place to hide. Once in I said fuck that I am jumping out of the window, and when I went out on the 2nd story ledge (one that was high due to the very high ceiling below).
Once I got a good peep of the height I said fuck that shit, I'm not going to break my neck trying, so I stepped back through the window back into the room. The first time out the window I accidentally knocked down the curtain and rods, so I put them back in place while thinking to myself, that dude may not even be her ex-husband, as far as I knew. But then I clearly heard him say where is my son, so at that point, I knew staying in that death trap room was not an option, so I headed back out the window (this time making certain not to knock down anything). Once on the ledge I weighed my options and decided my best move should be to hang down as far as possible hoping my feet could reach the top of the brick line protruding from the first-floor window.
I don't know what I was thinking, maybe I thought I could hang down to the top of that window, then hang down further before jumping. Long story short I was in a dead man hang, and could not pull myself back up, after 2nd guessing the move, so I was then forced to jump. This is when I realized that when I jump I would also have to clear an iron gate below that had big ass spikes that can easily impale my hands or any part of my body if I am not careful.
Well, I jumped, pushing myself backward clearing the spiked gate, and landing surprisingly softly on the snow-covered ground that was soft and muddy due to the melting snow. Man after that you couldn't tell me shit, I hopped over the spiked gate that was protecting the muddy grass court, and I was out! About three days later, ol girl calls up my job to tell me her side of the story.
The husband came home and was immediately suspicious about the chain being on the door, next he went to see his son, then minutes later he noticed the bedroom that I was in was locked from the inside. This threw him into a rage where he decided to grab his hand-held camera (before smartphones) and a bat, boy I could have been the first cat on World Star lol, and before busting open the door he asked who was inside, she looked him in the eye and said nobody (scared as shit). He kicked open the door and to her surprise no one was there and the room was perfect, right down to the rod and curtain.
Dude, then apologized, grabbed a beer and proceeded to watch TV, but when he ran out of brew, he decided to go to the store to cop some more, and when he got out, he saw two big ass foot prints under his window immediately realizing that it could only come from his apartment. She told me he went back up and kicked her ass, but as it turns out they got back together, and he wound up giving her twins before breaking up with her for good. I never talked to her again, showing no sympathy towards a chick who placed my life in danger by not telling me the truth.
Every now and then I think about what would have happened if she lived higher than the 2nd floor. Now I know that no matter how good the pussy can be, it don't mean shit if you are dead trying to smash.