How much advice should you take from your girlfriend(s)?

[JofromthaNO]

The older I get, the more I realize that sometimes advice and "input" from your friends really isn't helpful, but can be a detriment towards what either you already know or what you already plan to do...

But, some of us weigh in/vent to our friends about EVERYTHING: our intimate relationships, our wardrobes, our hair, etc. And, even when we don't get the responses we want, we may go against our "intuition" in order to achieve approval of those around us or because they are a "neutral" party...

But, is that ever really the case? Are there any situations where maybe it is helpful to get attention from girlfriends? Or should we just allow our friends free reign to weigh in on our lifestyle?

 

[CT's Finest]

As a man, this thread doesn't really ask for my opinion, but...

 

[dHustla]

Help is overrated.

It ain't just as "the older you get", help never was really help when it don't come from within.

I realized this when I hit rock bottom and pulled myself up by doing stuff for myself that I never thought I could do alone.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." -Mahatma Gandhi

 

[dHustla]

The older I get, the more I realize that sometimes advice and "input" from your friends really isn't helpful, but can be a detriment towards what either you already know or what you already plan to do...

But, some of us weigh in/vent to our friends about EVERYTHING: our intimate relationships, our wardrobes, our hair, etc. And, even when we don't get the responses we want, we may go against our "intuition" in order to achieve approval of those around us or because they are a "neutral" party...

But, is that ever really the case? Are there any situations where maybe it is helpful to get attention from girlfriends? Or should we just allow our friends free reign to weigh in on our lifestyle?

Bay, it's only as helpful as you need it to be. Meaning, if you need that kind of attention then they fill a void, but if you don't need that kind of attention.... you don't need them to weigh in on anything. You can just look inside yourself.

Once a person is ok with themselves in every way, not just physically, that person wouldn't be moved by others weighing in on their lifestyle because others' opinion won't hold as much weight as their own.

 

[Izayoi]

Bay, it's only as helpful as you need it to be. Meaning, if you need that kind of attention then they fill a void, but if you don't need that kind of attention.... you don't need them to weigh in on anything. You can just look inside yourself.

Once a person is ok with themselves in every way, not just physically, that person wouldn't be moved by others weighing in on their lifestyle because others' opinion won't hold as much weight as their own.

I actually agree with this Jo. I have a handful of very dear, smart, honest and genuine friends. But honestly I don't look to them for advice 9/10 times unless it's an area they have a particular professional/personal expertise in.

HOWEVER (you knew there had to be one) I think everybody needs that one outside, somewhat objective person to get on them when they are on that bullshit. We all have our stuff and blind-spots about our behavior. Girlfriends are usually always on your side. Sometimes you need more honesty than they can offer. This is where a parent, partner or an acquaintance you RESPECT can be very beneficial. I have a good friend who is this crazy, incredibly blunt speaking, farm-raised white chick who used to be my massage therapist. I couldn't finesse shit with her and her brutal honesty was always on point (as was her deep tissue work). Double therapy bang for my buck. Mr. Iz has these incredibly annoying Vulcan like logic moments, but that has been very beneficial for me even though it gets on my last nerves.

It's just about boundaries I think. Advice has its place, but a good friend to me is someone who listens more than they try to fix my shit. That's something I have to work on as well to be a better friend.

 

[Mo-Better]

The older I get, the more I realize that sometimes advice and "input" from your friends really isn't helpful, but can be a detriment towards what either you already know or what you already plan to do...

But, some of us weigh in/vent to our friends about EVERYTHING: our intimate relationships, our wardrobes, our hair, etc. And, even when we don't get the responses we want, we may go against our "intuition" in order to achieve approval of those around us or because they are a "neutral" party...

But, is that ever really the case? Are there any situations where maybe it is helpful to get attention from girlfriends? Or should we just allow our friends free reign to weigh in on our lifestyle?

Jo just think things out for yourself. More often than not when others voice their opinions they are based upon their emotions. Not thought out clearly more like knee-jerk reactions but they mean well. As a mature lady I know you have the capacity to resolve most matters on your own.

When I ask for advice its usually for an opinion nothing more. I make tough decisions and I live with them for better or for worse. An I try to avoid allowing situations to develop but they sometimes do.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I'm like this, you take in information, and if the information is coming from sources close to you and you know those sources have your best interest at heart? Take that info in and process it.

I think it's unreasonable to assume that just because you haven't done something that you can't formulate a reasonable idea about it. If my mate and i are having a problem, and i tell my friends who, i've chosen my friends well. I know they have my best interest at heart. I know they're going to tell me something real.

Just because people say things doesn't mean you have to do it. You have your own mind, you can process information and glean what works from what doesn't.

If you didn't choose your friends well, and you think they're nincompoops who give bad info, then don't listen to them. I didn't choose my friends this way. And i still believe when this comes from males it's a control issue. No person can make me do something i don't want to do and that i don't believe is best for the appropriate circumstance.

If a friend tells me they think my spouse is doing me wrong, i'd listen to them and process what they're saying. Only an absolute dingy will let someone else tell them about what they should do in their relationship.