How long is too long?

[Kells]

Finally BrownTurd, your SHIT makes sense!!!

No, not funny?! Am I the only one laughing? *turns around, gives one more look back, checks for breakupgrown and walks out of thread....*

I was thinking the same thing (minus "finally")! the shit did make sense! I also am in total agreement with Super Genious, ya'll have been way more helpful than I thought (I was reaching when I dropped this thread, didn't really know what type of feedback I'd receive?) I must say I'm pleasantly surprised! Its all greatly appreciated.

 

[shanebp1978]

No one wants to deal with the selfishness!??

 

[Kells]

No one wants to deal with the selfishness!??

I'll take a stab at it by your own definition of love being "selfish", wouldn't the fact that I could still love someone who cheated on me and left me in debt even though its been 15 months, even though I've had NO contact with him whatsoever only confirm that my love for him is in fact "UNselfish"? Because by your own definition to love him with no fault or effect of his own is to love unselfish? so I'm right in saying love (or at least MY love) is UNSELFISH.

 

[shanebp1978]

I'll take a stab at it by your own definition of love being "selfish", wouldn't the fact that I could still love someone who cheated on me and left me in debt even though its been 15 months, even though I've had NO contact with him whatsoever only confirm that my love for him is in fact "UNselfish"? Because by your own definition to love him with no fault or effect of his own is to love unselfish? so I'm right in saying love (or at least MY love) is UNSELFISH.

Too easy.

All that you did is because you made a CHOICE to do what you did . . . it is revealed in your post, the very FACT your BIG UPPING yourself now . . . . because it's about you, and how you feel about what you did.

Does a, " Unselfish " person relate to other people, how much they " Did " for someone they loved. Doesn't an " Unselfish " person give with no care towards recognition.

You did what you did, so that YOU would feel the way you do right when you wrote that post.

You didn't do it for him. You did for you.

How it makes YOU feel. Or else you would not have even brought it up.




The trix is, finding someone who VALUES . . . THAT . . . the how willing Kells you are . . . find someone who VALUES THAT . . . because they want it themselves from YOU.


It is all egotistical.

 

[Kells]

Too easy.

All that you did is because you made a CHOICE to do what you did . . . it is revealed in your post, the very FACT your BIG UPPING yourself now . . . . because it's about you, and how you feel about what you did.

Does a, " Unselfish " person relate to other people, how much they " Did " for someone they loved. Doesn't an " Unselfish " person give with no care towards recognition.

You did what you did, so that YOU would feel the way you do right when you wrote that post.

You didn't do it for him. You did for you.

How it makes YOU feel. Or else you would not have even brought it up.




The trix is, finding someone who VALUES . . . THAT . . . the how willing Kells you are . . . find someone who VALUES THAT . . . because they want it themselves from YOU.


It is all egotistical.

Well damn Shane! You spun that web and waited for someone to ATTEMPT to answer it and pounced on my ass like a damn tarantula! I wasn't "big upping" myself, the only reason I relayed to anyone how much I did for him was to attempt to tackle your whole selfish vs unselfish love theory. I didn't feel superior or anything for considering my love unselfish. If any thing I feel quite stupid for being In love with someone who obviously doesn't deserve it. I don't know, maybe the fact that I feel he would have to "deserve" my love makes me selfish and egotistical??? Maybe your right? Your digging a little too deep. My head hurts now. please stop! You win! I'm selfish!

 

[jae_one]

O.k., I have a very SERIOUS question. How long should it take to "fall out of love"? Let's say you were in a 3 year relationship, how long should it take to get over him/her ? Also, how much does having no closure to the end of a relationship factor into things ? And at what point should you seek the help of a professional (therapist)?

There is no set time... sometimes you just have to let it burn and deal with the hurt...

 

[IR_King]

No, no, no, you've got it all wrong. You're not in love. You're just horny because you've gone all those months without sex. Hire a babysitter. Go out on a date, and let the guy bang you out until your boots are left smoking. He's probably having more sex than you in prison, I'm sure not by choice though.

 

[owl]

Is he a light-skinned dude??? If so, when he gets out, you two might not be compatible (If you know what I'm saying).

No need to waste your money on a doctor when a good friend will do, preferably someone outside your "job" circle. It's cathartic to spill your guts while eating a half-gallon of Ben and Jerry's and watching Waiting to Exhale.

THIS CAT HERE!!!!!

 

[gatorsity]

I know I will always "love" him, but why am I still "IN love" with him? Its been 15 months, I still get teary eyed when I talk about him. Just this morning I awoke from a dream about him and I was crying. I haven't pursued any current relationships and don't plan to anytime in the next year or two..so I can't say its affecting that. I just don't want to get so emotional over it anymore. Any suggestions on how to speed up the healing process? Damn I feel like a punk!

you know, everything happens for a reason, i dont know what brought on the break up but maybe the issues you two had were suppose to be worked out and yall should try to work it out. sometimes we try to make ourselves want something that we really dont. if you still feel that way after 15 months then maybe you not only are still in love with him, maybe you deep down still want to be with him.

 

[(0_0)..l.. finger]

 

[Midnight Studio Comics]

don't summon that man!

y not

 

[DeSiRe]

its perfectly normal to still have love for someone you loved

alot of people will tie the familiarity and security of a relationship in with this "love" for the person

its kind of like finding out your favorite resturant has been closed down...although there are other ones out there...it still doesnt matter because that was YOUR favorite spot

after reading your response i can tell you are hurt after how he kind of screwed you over, but you still do care about him

the easiest thing way to move on is to do exactly that....MOVE ON

i always tell my homegirls getting over a break up to take thier mind off it....if he is constantly on your mind....you wont get over it

start a new hobby, make a commiment to do something you enjoy, find something to take your mind off him

i know it will be somewhat difficult for you because you have his child...but its true...time heals all wounds...but you have to give time the opportunity

the longer you dabble in that stituation the longer you will be involved in it

its no secret that women need closure...

but dont hold yourself back from what God has planned for you...or the special person he might have in store for you because you need a verbal explination of what his actions have shown

actions speak louder than words...so there is your closure....move on to someone better that will treat you like a queen

you have to love yourself enough to get over the familiarity and security of your past relationship to find a better one