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How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
 
Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
 
This happened to a fellow Navy MP in a Federal traffic court:

Attorney: Miss is this the officer that gave you the ticket? (Pointing to Military Police officer in Class A uniform)
Witness: No, that's not him?
Attorney: Are you sure it's not him?
Witness: Looks like him, but the one that gave me the ticket was wearing a different uniform. (refering to woodland BDU)
 
Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?
I should be.
How many times have you comitted suicide?
Four times.
 

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